The Plopper is Forced to Say Goodbye to COVERT AFFAIRS

TVLine: "There was a feeling in [the S5 finale] that the characters are growing up and reaching their natural end point with Annie contemplating marriage and Auggie leaving the CIA.  Would you be happy if this was the ending?"

Chris Ord: "No, we wouldn't be happy.  We want the show to continue."  (Via TVLine)

----------------

Well, Covert Crew, we are now living our Darkest Timeline.  And sadly, it's the only timeline we're gonna get.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.16 'Gold Soundz' & Season 5

Christ.  If I could write my season finale review solely in emojis tonight, I would.  It's the only way I can properly express how I'm feeling right now.  It's all over the goddamn place.

"Trust your heart."  -Auggie
"Get it?  She literally cannot trust her heart.  I see what you did there, writers.  You think you're so clever."  -Katie (cousin of The Plopper)

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.15 'Frontwards'

Well, that was a squeaker.  I spent the first 40 minutes of this one feeling increasingly exasperated thinking that this ep was going to amount to nothing more than Team McWalkerson running around a pretty place (Buenos Aires being their final foreign shoot for season 5), trying to figure out how to rescue a character we only met one episode ago.  Like I said, I'm a fan of Kenny Johnson, but that can only carry me so far, given that his character is not at all central to this series.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.14 'Transport is Arranged'

For some odd reason, USA decided not to release any promo pics for ep 5.14.  So I had to go scrounging through social media for a pic for this review.  If they're gonna make me jump through hoops, then Barber and Joan are gonna get the headline treatment today.  Aww Barber.  He was so cute, all sad and anxious for his beloved BFF.  I still feel like Barberson is kind of a unidirectional relationship (Barber mostly gives, Auggie mostly takes), but I don't have time to analyze it now.  I just re-read that sentence and suddenly it sounds sexual.  Oh well, I'm letting it stand.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.13 'She Believes'

Sigh.  Olga, just when we were starting to get to know you.  It's been SO long since this show has allowed Annie to have a worthy female adversary and/or partner in crime, and the minute we finally got one, they couldn't let the poor woman last more than one episode. Yes, she was in 5.11 & 5.12 too, but she barely spoke more than three words until this ep.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.12 'Starlings of the Slipstream'

Wow, Britta.  You really BRITTA'D that one, didn't ya??  Har.  I fully expect about 4 people to get that joke.  O.k. well this is GeekFurious after all, so I take that back - as many as 6 to 8 people who read these reviews may get that joke.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.11 'Trigger Cut'

Uh ddaaaayyyyuuuummmmnn look how hot my man Eyal looks here.  Mmm, MM mm.  Is it just me, or does he get hotter with every new appearance on this show?  Anywho.  Hey y’alls.  It’s been over 2 months since we last talked.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.10 'Sensitive Euro Man'

Oh this goddamn show.  I just don't even ... I was SO into this ep for the first 40 minutes.  Like fully, 100% on board and having fun.  Well alright fine 100% is an exaggeration.  I was annoyed about Caitlyn being the obvious culprit, but let's say I was still 90% on board.  And then it got ... AGGH.  I need to collect my thoughts for a hot minute so that this doesn't turn into one long rant.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.09: 'Spit on a Stranger'

"You let The Sheriff worry about that."  Hahaha Shelby hated this episode, but I feel like any ep with that line in it should have been an instant win for her.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.08: 'Grounded'

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge.  I think I have conspiracy blueballs.  Curse you, Covert writers.  God.  DAMN.  you.  :shakes fist in air:

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.07: 'Brink of the Clouds'

Ahh, episode 7 of the season.  We have arrived.  Historically, this has been either an instant classic or a disastrously terrible ep, depending on the season.  There's no middle ground.  It’s also an extremely pivotal ep, as it tends to kick off the eps leading into the summer finale.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.06: 'Embassy Row'

Jesus H, it's a damn good thing Annie was such a badass spy in last week's ep, because she sure as hell was tripping all over her own two feet a lot of the way through "Embassy Row".  She stumbled and bumbled her way to the finish line after having spent the entire second half of the ep being quite literally physically dragged by one dude or another to places unbeknownst to her until - whoopsie daisy!! - she somehow just, found herself there.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.05: 'Elevate Me Later'

I can tell exactly when this episode finally started crackling for me based the spot where my notes trailed off: "AHH HAHA FUCK YES ANNIE STOLE THE KEY!!"  That's the last bulletpoint I have.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.04: 'Silence Kit'

Wow ... for a few minutes during "Silence Kit," I started to mentally plan out the rest of season 5, and it consisted solely of Annie surfing the web for new career opportunities, updating her LinkedIn profile and getting pissed when her profile views go down by 10% even though she just revamped the entire thing and she thought she was using all the right key words, goddamnit.  This is not me speaking from experience, by the way.  It’s just ... you know ... how I would imagine ... something like this might go.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.03: 'Unseen Power of the Picket Fence'

"Well that was ... an episode." - My cousin Katie.  Hahaha I mean ... first off can I just ask this question - Who in GOD'S name actually watches Royal Pains??  Anyone?  Have you ever met anyone in your life who watches that show?  Last year we had to suffer through the ends of L&O SVU eps before CA came on and I never thought I'd find myself being wistful for that time period.  At least those endings had crazy people yelling and freaking out.  Royal Pains endings are like bland people saying boring stuff, set to drowsy lame music.  What am I missing?

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.02: 'False Skorpion'

Uhh holy shit, that just got a LOT more real, a lot more quickly, than I was expecting.  I just finished googling Myocarditis, as I'm sure a lot of you did while watching this ep.  Medical accuracy has never been a strong suit of the Covert writers, especially when it come to Annie, whose recovery from two bullet wounds to the chest in season 3 was approximately as difficult as bouncing back from a sprained ankle.  So I'm already apprehensive on this front.  Partly for that reason but partly just because I'm dying to know where this condition came from.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.01: 'Shady Lane'

Oh my how time flies.  Has it already been 7 months since I last wrote one of these?  There was actually a nasty rumor during the break that I had been “fired” from GeekFurious and replaced with a cat, who was going to take over The Plopper moniker.  The cat would be filmed pooping on various items (suggestion: pics of Helesa?) each week and those videos would be posted here in lieu of my normal Covert Affairs reviews.  Thank god that one turned out to be false, at least for my sake.  Whew.  I’m back baby, and I just watched the season 5 opener, “Shady Lane”.  So let’s get right to it.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 4.16: 'Trompe le Monde' & S4

“And the worst part is?  You’ll never be able to look at yourself the same way again.  You’ll know that you killed for malice.  And that changes you.” - Lena Smith, to Annie, at the end of “Let’s Dance”. 

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews - COVERT AFFAIRS 4.15: 'There Goes My Gun'

So wait … what is Annie’s new plan now then??  What is she planning on doing now that she’s let herself get captured by Henry ... just sweet talk him into coming back to the U.S. so they can prosecute him?  I suppose we’re not supposed to understand it till next week.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

The Plopper Reviews - COVERT AFFAIRS 4.14: 'River Euphrates'

"COME on, THINK!!!" - Calder, to Auggie.  Truer words have not been spoken, for maybe this entire season of Covert Affairs thus far.  And it applies to essentially every character on the show, save for Barber and Rossabi.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE