31 October, 2011

Why MISFITS Season 3 Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks

In this article I discuss why MISFITS, the once great UK show about angry teens with powers, suuuuuucks.

More after the jump.

What the fuck does that even mean? After the jump. Sounds like I expect everyone to fuckin' parachute out of a goddam airplane before reading this piece of shit article. Why do people still say this shit? After the jump? Is the author indicating that to get into the mood of the article that a gravity defying leap is required? Are we supposed to exercise? Why even fuckin' say it?! I'll tell you why! TO BE ASSHOLES!

Oooooh, look at me! I learned journalistic lingo! After the jump! Now I am motherfuck legitimate, bitches! You have to slirp my cuntycock because I done tapped into the deep well of studied rules that determine levels of integrity and shit!

After the jump? Why was this ever necessary? In the olden days of newspapers... yes, they used to write shit on paper. I am not kidding. We didn't have iPads back then. We murdered trees instead and then printed words on them and then tossed them away and didn't even recycle that shit. AND WE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!

What was I saying? Oh yeah, in the olden days of newspapers, when 9-year olds delivered MASSIVE FUCKIN' FIRE HAZARDS directly to your home, and were then expected to go house to house once a week to BILL YOUR LAZY ASS, and have to literally hound you for TWO FUCKIN' DOLLARS (this is not a joke) for months, and then, when you dickholes didn't pay, were expected to PAY OUT OF POCKET to the newspaper slagbags who hired them so they didn't lose any money..........

But I digress.

What I have been trying to say is that when newspapers had articles that would have more words than available space on the same page, newspapers would indicate that the article continued on in another part of the paper by directing them that there was "more after the jump." This wasn't even moderately successful which is why, when the Internet thingy happened, some enterprising douchebags decided to bring it back to indicate that a story either continued via a hyperlink, or after an advertisement on the page.

Because, as you know, when the Internet and online advertisements first impressed themselves on the masses, the notion of clicking on shit, or scrolling half an inch down, was foreign to people. But why do people still use it today? To be shitbags, pure and simple. SHITBAGS! Actual bags of shits that are then used as feed for the cows that poop out the milk you pour into your coffee every morning.

There is no other reason.

So, when you find yourself reading an article that opens up with some bullshit and then tells you that there is more "after the jump," you should shit all over their shit. Shit into their mouths and pee into their eyeballs and then force yourself to vomit into a cup and then toss it into their faces!

Anyway, so why does MISFITS season 3 suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?

Because Nathan (Robert Sheehan) is no longer on the show. And the wanker they replaced him with has none of the charisma, acting ability, or fun of the dude he replaces. But worst of all, he ends up with a girl much hotter than Nathan ever did, and yet he is UGLY AS A BLOODY HEMORRHOID! Not to mention that he looks fourty-fuckin-three years old! I think the producers were sitting around smoking up some black tar crack cocaine or some shit, shooting up the marijuana, and freebasing beer when they decided to bring this cuntsmear onto the show. No wonder the actor who played Nathan quit the show. If this is what passes off as quality in the UK, then that fucker should run for the hills of the grand and glorious US of A and bask in the light of God's grace, called Hollywood.

What once was the greatest show of all time... from the UK... circa 2009-2010... about people with super powers... is now the biggest piece of shit ever and I quit this bitch.

In conclusion, our parents were idiots letting us deliver newspapers, 2 to 3 hours a day for 7-days a week, while making MAYBE $20 a week, and having to hustle for our money from adults who were too cheap to pay on time. Also, saying "after the jump" makes you a cunt.

Oh and the really cute chick the 43-year old ugly ass new guy is dating... dies. Thereby solidifying the worthlessness of this show. Spoiler.

I can't believe they replaced Sheehan with this tosser. Seriously! They replaced fuckin Robert fuckin' Sheehan with this horse's cock! Robert Sheehan, the dude from CHERRYBOMB! Yeah! You heard me. I didn't stutter. CHERRYBOMB!

Alright, so that movie sucked but not remotely as hard as his replacement on MISFITS..

I'm bringing "epic fail" back. It went away, right?

Head Geek Furious is a graduate of the Harvard School of Writing, with a MA in Journalism and a PhD in Manners. If you would like to contact him, take a number, stalker creep fuck.


29 October, 2011

CHUCK Vs. the Zoom - 5.01: What's Up?

So CHUCK returned last night for its 5th and final season, and based on the horrendous ratings it got (1.0 in the all important 18-49 demo), the first of the LAST THIRTEEN EPISODES EVER!

But you are not here to read what I think about its future prospects (the show is done), but instead what I thought of the episode (seriously, it is over, enjoy the next 12 because there is no chance in hell there will be more). Oh and if you are not an adult, or a cool kid, don't read past this point because I am going to use language that will make Baby Jesus cry.

Let's start off with what I didn't think worked:

1. Morgan's opening fight sequence. The fuckin' stunt man is like 12 fuckyfeet taller than Josh Gomez! Plus, his profile is... thinner, or something. Oh, and the hair wasn't even correct. Whattheshit? Perhaps they should have just put the camera on the rest of Team B and toss in some noises of Morgan fighting, then turn the camera back to him to show that he had defeated his opponents. Because that would have worked better. It would have still been dumb as pudding-pie, but an improvement over what was delivered.

2. Morgan and Sarah's dance. Oh yes, it was funny because of the height difference but the scene wasn't played for direct laughs, instead it was used to showcase some incestuous feeling (after all, Morgan should always treat Sarah like his deadly assassin sister) cool-dance by the Intersect. But Morgan as the Intersect should be played for laughs, or tragedy (ruhroh), not for cool. The writers should have looked at what Morgan was like without the Intersect (crazy, suicidal brave) and added abilities. BUT HE SHOULD STILL BE A MASSIVE GOOF.

3. The near-ending scene with Chuck and Sarah and the house... while the discussion between them was only BURN NOTICE level cheesy (holy shit that show is fuckin' cheesy), the setup was ridiculous. So, if Chuck had only bought this dream house 20-seconds sooner! But now they are out of money so he has to make enough to buy it for her! You see, the dream house will still be there months from now because no one wants that piece of shit, plus it is on the Warner Brothers lot so that works out perfectly for Chuck.... for when he can finally buy it for his dearest love. Awwwwwww. Lame.

4. Decker. Still stupid. After months off, the writers didn't make this interesting in the least. Everything he says feels like the writers are trying to figure out what it will all mean in 4 or 10 episodes. His dialogue reminds me of when someone is making up a lie in front of you and struggling through it. It feels unnatural. You know something is wrong. But they keep talking even as you look at them cross-eyed and then STAB THEM IN THE FUCKIN' FACE!

What did I like? Pretty much everything else.

1. Usually season openers have actors trying to find their character again but everyone felt natural.

2. Character interactions in one-on-one scenes were actually really solid. Chuck and Morgan? Great. Chuck and Sarah? Very good. Chuck and Ellie? Best scene of the episode.

3. The Buy More, though not in much of the episode, was very lively and fun. Jeff and Lester up to their silly tricks and Chuck, the secret owner, and Morgan having to stop the madness. I realize some assholes who should die don't like the Buy More, but they are assholes and should die.

4. While the T.I.T.S. acronym thing was much funnier initially, before we saw it written out, Sarah's reaction to seeing it was killer. I love when she is annoyed, especially by Morgan. And that is part of the problem with the dancing scene between her and Morgan... they work best when he is intimidated by her, not when he is impressing her.

5. Chuck not having the Intersect 2.0 abilities was AWESOME! Sure, him being able to kick ass and shit was fun for two seasons, but the show has so much more personality when he is a danger to himself. Plus, it was a nice touch to have him lose the gun because his hands were slippery, as opposed to him just being incapable of handling a gun... you know, since he was very handy with a tranq gun PRIOR to the Intersect 2.0.

6. Chuck the man with the master plan is a big part of what made season 2 so great. And they utilized that well in this episode. From him briefing the team, to him recording the escape plan in the van, to him actually escaping... I loved it all.

7. Morgan coming to save the day in the opening sequence was very funny... up until his fight sequence.

8. Casey's handling of the client early in the episode. Classic pre-feelings Casey. Baldwin may have even pulled out a little Jayne in one of the scenes. I had FIREFLY flashbacks.

9. Morgan and Sarah had the spy high-five last season... this season, a spy whateverthatis. Made me laugh.

10. And finally, some fun dialogue:

Casey isn't happy about the client, dismissing him as an "ambulance chaser" but Sarah tries to sway him that the target is worth going after.
Sarah: Casey, Bale is worth infiltrating anyway, looks like he's stolen money from teacher's unions, families.
Casey is dismissive and unimpressed.
Client: He stole $2 million from Rush Limbaugh.
Casey's entire demeanor changes as he spins around.
Casey: Tell me EVERYTHING you know about this ANIMAL!

Ellie: The computer didn't make you a hero. It just gave you the opportunity to become one.

When Chuck tells the team he is going to play squash with the mark, everyone looks worried.
Chuck: Whaaat? What what what? What's the problem? What's up?
Casey: You're gonna play? Do you actually play any non-video game sports?

When Morgan meets the mark he introduces himself, still using his ridiculous cover name.
Morgan: I'm Michael Carmichael, of Michael Carmichael Industries, subsidiary of Michael.
Bale: That sounds like big money.
Morgan: Mmmmm, you have no idea. You know, if I was standing on my wallet, I'd be tall.

Sarah suspects Chuck is keeping a secret and confronts him about it in Castle. Chuck is evasive and refuses to give anything up.
Sarah: Casey and I are going to scout Bale's corporate headquarters so we'll talk about this later.
Chuck: Can't this be that one-time conversation? (deadly look from Sarah)

Morgan and Chuck see Jeff rolling around in a wheelchair looking crippled. Lester tells them how it happened.
Lester: He was trampled by a stampede of middle-aged secretaries for the midnight release of the talking Justin Bieber doll. His legs were crushed. He may never walk again.

As Chuck and Morgan observe Jeff scamming money for his disability out of unsuspecting customers, they are convinced something is afoot. Jeff rolls up to a customer.
Jeff: Please, help. I'm on Buy More insurance right now.
Chuck and Morgan are hunched over watching from a distance.
Chuck: The audacity! As the secret owner of this establishment I happen to know we have excellent insurance.

When Jeff idiotically exposes his own fraud, Lester comes over to see his friend standing up, looking fine, with Chuck and Morgan nearby.
Lester: It's a miracle! This is because of your donations!
This moment was a particular favorite since it reminded me of all the bullshitting that fans do, patting themselves on the back for "saving" shows by doing some useless thing they think important, that no network decision maker ever actually notices, or if they do, thinks remotely important.

So, you guys made the show walk, with your tweets! (that's sarcasm, mind you)

If I were to rate this episode, I would give it:

89 out of 100

Oh and if you want to experience our podcast for the episode...
RIGHT CLICK TO SAVE to download the mp3 version of the podcast.

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes by clicking this link.


27 October, 2011

COMMUNITY 3.05: Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps

The episode following one of the greatest COMMUNITY episodes in the history of history was finally unleashed upon the world and I have a fuck or two to say about it.

Every season, fans anticipate the Halloween episode because this show knocks them out of the park every fuckin' time (Season 1: Introduction to Statistics; Season 2: Epidemiology). But is this the season where they shit all over their previous success and bomb badly?

Yup. And when I say yup, I mean hell the shit no.

See what I did there? Holy hell I am crafty.

Anyway, if you want a review of the episode go the fuck to a site that reviews fuckin' COMMUNITY episodes. But here is my quick take on it. Last week's episode dealt with what would happen were one character missing from a situation. In this one, each character creates the story. I know that these episodes weren't originally intended to run back-to-back but it actually works well like this.

All the stories have their own level of awesomeness, with Annie's story taking the cake for me. Now, let's dive into some of my favorite quotable moments:

Annie looking through Britta's laptop.
Annie: There's nothing in your playlist but Spooky Party, the Beetlejuice soundtrack, and NPR podcasts.
Britta: (excitedly) Oooh we could listen to one of those! I have Michele Norris interviewing Errol Morris. Don't worry, they address it!

Upon seeing Jeff, Annie laughs at his costume.
Jeff: What? I'm one of the "Fast and Furious" guys.
Abed: Which one?
Jeff: Oh I don't know. I don't watch that shallow crap. I just pick a costume girls will like.

Discussing some personality tests given to the group, or something.
Britta: Look! One of the tests came back with 70 out of 75 red flags for an extreme personality disorder. EXTREME, Jeff!
Jeff: Like a Dorito?!
Britta: A sociopathic Dorito. A cool ranch lunatic! Only instead of zest, Jeff, one member of our study group has... homicidal tendencies!

Britta's Story - Jeff and Britta make out in a car out in some spooky far-off woods, an announcer on the radio alerts them.
Announcer: In the news tonight, top story, an escaped convict from the asylum has escaped and he's mental and he's on the loose and stuff.
Britta: Oh my god! That sounds dangerous.
Jeff: Oh, I'm sure it's no biggy. But I am a horny man. I'm only half present.
Announcer: He was last seen in the woods and has a thingy for a hand. A hook thing where his hand should be, you know what I mean.

Abed's Story - Abed and Britta arrive in a quaint log cabin.
Abed: (speaking very quickly) Here we are. The log cabin I rented so we could be intimate in safety. Because it's not the '50s so we don't have to park a car and neck at Inspiration Point.
Britta: That makes sense. I'm turned on by how logical you are.
Abed: I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry. Well, I just brushed my teeth so this would be the optimal time to kiss. (they kiss) Enjoyable. Soft lips. Just the right level of moisture.
Britta: Would you like to do it again?
Abed: No. We should listen to the news on this radio. I brought it as a cautionary measure because this cabin is within walking distance of the local insane asylum.
Britta: Oh, is that why you were able to rent this at such a reasonable rate?
Abed: Yes.
Britta: I hope you are as fertile as I am tonight.
Abed: More (turns on the radio).

Annie's Story - Jeff pulls Britta out of a closet revealing her to be his slutwhore, or something.
Britta: Do not judge me for my weakness.
Jeff: Stifle your slackened maw you drained and tainted bitch dog (sucks her blood).
Britta: I'm fine with this.
Annie starts to run out in horror.
Jeff: (dropping Britta on the floor) Wait! (Annie stops and turns around) Teach me to read!
Annie: Awwww!

Troy's Story - Troy carries Abed into a cabin, meeting a mad-doctor looking Pierce.
Troy: Oh thank god, an old doctor. Me and my partner are Top Gun fighter pilots, the best of the best.
Abed: (weakly whispering) Pewpewpew.
Troy: Our F-15 went down in the woods.
Pierce: I thought I heard something awesome out there. Please, come in for first aid and what have you.

Later, after Troy and Abed turn the tables on evil Pierce...
Abed: We sewed your butt to your chest!
Pierce: Noooo! Wait! Hah, you fools! By sewing my butt to my chest you've given me boobs I can touch all day.

Pierce's Story - Britta, Annie, and Shirley are the sex goddesses to Pierce's Hugh Hefner. Troy and Abed barge into the cabin looking racistly gangsta.
Troy: (pointing a gun at Pierce) Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! Whats we gots heres?!
Abed: This a home invasion you jive mutha!

This story is short but the best part is when Pierce whips his elephant size cock out and knocks Troy out with it.

Shirley's Story - The gang, minus Pierce and Shirley, partying in the cabin doing weed and whatever crazy kids do when they get hammered. Britta walks out, then walks back in covered in blood.
Britta: Uh, it's like New York out there.
The radio comes to life.
Announcer: We interrupt your death metal to bring you some heavy news. All the good Christians got Raptured up to heaven so if you're hearing this the good news is, you're the coolest people in the world.
Gang: (happily) Yes!
Announcer: The bad news is, the world is over.

After the Devil Dean shows up and assaults the gang, Angel Shirley shows up all sparkly in white.
Jeff: Woah, look! It's our friend we used to pick on for being Christian!

After Shirley blows Devil Dean away.
Britta: Thank you for saving us, Shirley! I mean, your name's not Shirley. This is a story about strangers. Anywho! Can you take us to heaven now, please?
Angel Shirley: Ooh, I cannot. I just came to say goodbye on my way to Abraham's bosom. Bye! I forgive yoooouuuu.
Devil Dean: (breaking into the cabin with a chainsaw) Hahahaha! Gay marriage!

Back in the real world.
Shirley: And he chainsawed them to bits! Then he put them back together. And then he chainsawed them again! Forever.

At the end of the episode we find out that Britta Britta'd the results and that there isn't one sociopath in the group, but one sane person. The group decides not to find out who that is... but we are told it is Abed. This was the only moment in the episode I didn't think was necessary. Especially since we already knew that! Feels like something the network asked for, but I could be wrong.

Anyway, if last week's episode was a 98 out of 100, this one deserves...

96 out of 100!


24 October, 2011

American Horror Story- This House Would Like to Kill You

Since this is my first post on American Horror Story I’m going to recap the first two episodes in case everyone hasn’t been watching; if you have then you get to read my version which is better anyway!

Pilot: Meet the Harmons’! A nice, conveniently dysfunctional, clan who’ve decided to relocate themselves from Boston to Los Angeles to put their past behind them. Ben, cheated on his wife Viven (Mrs. Coach to you FNL fans!) after she had a particularly awful miscarriage. They’re attempting a fresh start and in the process purchase a classic Victorian house, which just happens to be EVIL! This episode is all exposition; we meet the crazy neighbors, the shape-shifting maid, Ben’s new emo teenage boy patient Tate, and a dude named Larry who’s a former resident who killed his entire family in the house AND tried to burn it down, but has been let out of prison because he has terminal brain cancer (of course!- that happens all the time!). Oh and by the way Vivien is pregnant!

Home Invasion: This episode was far better than the pilot, in that it actually connected the historical murder to the present day events in an interesting way. The historical murder shows us that some weird, fetish, psycho killer offed a couple of nursing students living in the house with a bunch of other girls back in the 60’s. In present time, Ben’s suspicious new patient turns out to be part of a weirdo group of people who revere the pyscho killer as a Manson-esque precursor and are trying to recreate the 60’s murder at the actual house in homage to him. The modern day psycho worshiper group attempts to kill Vivien and Violet in the same fashion as the historical murder, complete with vintage nursing outfits! Through a number of other twists, involving some ipecac saturated cupcakes courtesy of neighbor Constance; Violet and Vivien survive. Yay!

Murder House: Since this is the most recent episode it will be less of a recap and more about my thoughts on the episode. The opening sequence in which we get some background on Constance and her connection to the house was helpful. Its been obvious for the last two episodes that she had some significant connection to house, so it was nice to see it finally played out. Also, Jessica Lange as a scorned Southern belle with a gun is pretty bad ass, plus we get an explanation for Moira’s screwed up eye! Although, it’s never explained how exactly Constance got away with murdering her husband (FYI- that is not uncommon on this show, pretty much people just go around killing each other with very few legal consequences of any kind).

It has also been obvious for the last few episodes that there would need to be some sort of plot mechanics to keep the Harmons’ in the house; as any normal family would have run screaming for the hills after last week’s episode. So, the financial issue was a given and one I’m sure lots of people saw coming. In addition, Viven’s OBGYN says that moving would be an added stress that might endanger the baby, because I guess the money thing wasn’t enough? I have no idea what is going on with the whole Ben/Larry thing where Larry seems to be attempting to blackmail Ben for money for acting lessons? I liked the bonding last week between Violet and Vivien and props to Violet for giving her mom an honest opinion of the marriage and the situation she’s in.

The whole “Murder Tour” thing seemed unnecessary in that it just made the Harmons’ look even dumber for not having researched any history on this house before they moved there. If your house is on a local tourist trap murder tour, then I’m pretty sure that would have come up if you had done something simple like GOOGLING your future house! This episode also eliminated the Hayden problem, so hooray for cutting down on useless plotlines! It also culminated in the awesomely ridiculous scene of Ben building a gazebo to cover up the spot in the backyard where he buried Hayden’s body after Larry killed her. Apparently, you can build your own gazebo from scratch in a matter of hours! And nothing solves all your marital and/or murder problems like iced tea and a backyard oasis!

Overall, I don’t have a lot of critical reasons why ANY person should watch this show. There may, or may not, be a plot involving Constance, Moira and Tate being somehow trapped/tied to the house and its evil ways (they certainly hang out enough as a group and talk about it, that it seems that way). Also, as a whole the show is difficult to follow and a bit like you are watching everything on LSD. It’s hard to tell what’s happening in reality and what’s not, while this sometimes works for the storytelling, it can also be annoying. Unless, maybe you are on LSD and then it’s very easy to follow? (I have not tried this method of watching the show). Ben/Dylan McDermott is boring and I don’t care about him. Connie Britton is a credible actress and she does a good job with what she’s given, at least making Vivien somewhat relatable. Violet, despite being moody, temperamental, emo, and dressed in the attire of Blossom circa 1990; is unbelievably the MOST tolerable teenager I’ve seen on television recently (I’m looking at you Tyler from “V” and boy from “Terra Nova”).

Taissa Farmiga inexplicably does an amazing job of making Violet’s typical teenage assholeness seem justified considering the situation. Too bad, she’s clearly only a second tier character. The flashbacks are the more entertaining part of the show; giving weekly glimpses into the past gruesomeness of the house. I’m curious as to how the series moves forward longer than a season or so, since most horror movie stories involving haunted/possessed houses inevitably end with some key original incident which brought all future evil events upon the house (think the Indian burial ground explanation in “The Shining”). However, the visuals and the theme have pulled me in. Honestly, I’m a sucker for old school pyscho, horror-thriller style, movies like the above mentioned, or Hitchcock-esque “Rear Window” type stuff so perhaps that’s the only reason I’m hanging on; but for whatever reason I keep watching. On the other hand, nothing about the show really scares me, at least not in an “I can’t turn off the lights” kind of way.

I don’t recommend watching if you are looking for something particularly in-depth, but if you’re fine with just a cool horror-thriller exterior and a moderately interesting (though poorly constructed and occasionally unrealistic) story and characters, you’ll probably be fine with this show. I will still be happier if somehow Ryan Murphy gets confused while doing this show and Glee at the same time and they cross over.


Geek Furious EXCLUSIVE: CHUCK Scheduling Scoop!

Here is the current schedule that is making its way around the super secret fake insider realm. When you reference these dates, please cite your source and link back here. Thanks site owners and writers!

5.01 - Chuck vs. the Zoom - 28 October, 2011
5.02 - Chuck vs. the Bearded Bandit - 4 November, 2011
5.03 - Chuck vs. the Frosted Tips - 11 November, 2011
5.04 - Chuck vs. the Business Trip - 18 November, 2011
5.05 - Chuck vs. the Hack Off - 9 December, 2011
5.06 - Chuck vs. the Curse - 16 December, 2011
5.07 - Chuck vs. the Santa Suit - 23 December, 2011
5.08 - Chuck vs. the Baby - 30 December, 2011
5.09 - Chuck vs. the Kept Man - 6 January, 2012
5.10 - Chuck vs. Bo - 13 January, 2012
5.11 - Chuck vs. the Bullet Train - 20 January, 2012
5.12 - Chuck vs. Sarah - 27 January, 2012
5.13 - Chuck vs. the Goodbye - 27 January, 2012


Chuck You Tuesday - Episode 79 THE END, aka Geek Furious the Poopcast #5


We record the final episode EVER of Chuck You Tuesday. We then ignore the entire premise of CYT and do a Geek Furious Poopcast because we can.  Oh, spoilers for season 5 are in there.  Some major ones.  Some not.  I don't warn people when they are coming so don't listen.  Or listen, I don't care.

We talk DOWNTON ABBEY, MISFITS, CHUCK, COMMUNITY, etcetcetc and so on. Vulgarity all over the place. If you are easily offended, or even if you are not, don't listen.

RIGHT CLICK TO SAVE if you want the MP3 version of this thing.

Otherwise subscribe to this podcast on iTunes by clicking this link... and... cross your fingers and hope it works.



If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.


23 October, 2011

The Top 10 Most Insignificant Deaths in the Star Wars Saga

In every war, there are heroes, villans, unnamed soldiers and whole lotta canon fodder. We have heard stories of valor and evil, courage and ineptitude. But we hardly ever hear the stories of the flies on the windshield of war. You know those insignificant deaths that did nothing to alter the course of a battle, or turn the tide of war. The Star Wars Saga is no different. It is littered with countless insignificant demises from Imperials to Rebels, droids to aliens. Instead of ignoring them, let us regale them.

Here's the top ten most insignificant deaths in the Star Wars Saga.

#10. Ratts Tyerell (Phantom Menace) - Met his fiery fate during the pod race when his engines were too large to fit the confines of Laguna Cave and he crashed.

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme AAGH!

#9. Snowtroopers attacking the Falcon (Empire) - Cool looking outfits. Check. Impressive weapons. Check. Set up big-ass canon that looks like it can do serious damage. Check. Die seconds later before getting a chance to use it. Check. Poseurs.

We look sooo cool... crap, we're dead.

#8. Old Rebel Fleet Trooper (New Hope) One of the first Rebels we are "introduced" to. First shows up on the screen at around 3:30 minutes, anxiously awaiting the Imperials to breach the ship. The camera focus in on him a number of times. He must be someone important right. Nope. 25 seconds later he's dead.

I'm wearing a red shirt underneath.

#7. Imperial Officer on Level 5 Detention Block AA23 - (New Hope) - This bigot had the audacity to call Chewie a thing. Little did this racist knobjob know he'd be dead shortly thereafter. So much for not being notified of a prisoner transfer.

Had a fam who loved him.

#6. The Younglings (Revenge of the Sith) - Yes, they are Jedi kids. Yes, it is a horrible way to go. But, what did they actually do... except gasp and die? Don't tell me they found Kamino. THAT was a different Youngling class.

My, what a big blue blade you have.

#5. Gold Squadron (New Hope) - They tried to stay on target, but got taken from behind.

Never heard of the Top Gun brake maneuver.

#4. Dack Ralter (Empire) - Told Luke he felt like he could take on the whole Empire. I guess his idea of taking on the whole Empire was to lie unconscious in the back of snowspeeder waiting to get crushed by an AT-AT.

At least he had dialogue...

#3. The crew of the Executor (Jedi) - The flagship of the Imperial fleet. A crew of 300,000. 12 times the size of a regular Star Destroyer. Armed to the teeth. Essentially gets taken out by a kamikaze A-Wing to the bridge. Then proceeds to spectacularly crash into the second Death Star causing no damage. What it lacked in significance at least it made up in style.

Sir, we are arriving at deep penetration.

#2. All occupants of both Death Stars (New Hope and Jedi) - For all the nameless souls who died in vain. You will be forgotten. Not to mention it happened twice in three movies. Some Empires never learn.

Military contractors are not innocent!

#1. Lt. Jek Porkins (New Hope) - Didn't want to eject. Thought he could hold it... and the pickles on his Whopper. Dead.

How did he even fit in the cockpit?

Are there more insignificant deaths? Sure. I could point out tons of stormtroopers. battle droids, rebel troopers and pilots who met useless ends but these 10 are some of the more entertaining demises in the saga.

Give your opinion in the comments below. Anonymous posting IS enabled.


22 October, 2011

Batman Year One: Does This Bat Own The Night?

When Warner/DC announced an animated movie based on Frank Miller's seminal 1987 Batman comic origin story late last year, yours truly went into a state of geek induced fanboy ecstasy. You see Miller's one two punch of Batman: Year One and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (1986) are the cornerstone of modern Batman stories and my personal favorites. They are hallowed ground in the realm of Batman mythos. Now Batman Year One The Animated Movie is upon us. Does it deliver?

First off, for those of you that have no clue what Batman Year One is about stop reading this right now. Just click back on your browsers, get up, go find a nice wall, preferably brick, and go ram your heads into it. That is what you deserve for being so clueless as to the greatness that is Frank Miller's Batman Year One. It's one of the thematic templates on which many Batman stories of the last quarter century, including Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins have been modeled upon. After the brick wall has finished having it's way with you, do yourselves a favor and go and pick up a copy of the graphic novel and while you're at it pick up Batman: The Dark Knight Returns as well. Don't any of you lazy fucks go reading the Wikipedia entry on it either. After reading it, come back here and finish this post. Trust me, from your comments below, I'll know if you read it or not. You call yourselves...geeks. You disgust me.

Anyway, I digress. Now onto to the flick. Is it worth it? MEH.

In terms of staying true to the source material it certainly does a good job but to the point of detriment. It is so faithful, that fans of the orignal may find themselves bored. For newbies, I'd say read the orignal first prior to seeing this adaptation. Scenes are like panels out of the comic. Dialogue is word for word. All the major beats are there, Lieutenant Gordon's story, Bruce Wayne's first adventure(s) as Batman, the introduction of Catwoman, the corruption in Gotham City. it's all there. But it lacks soul. It really doesn't have it's own identity. It does an admirable job of presenting the static nature of the comic in a dynamic way but there's not much else. This saddens me.

There is a lot of talent behind this production. Bruce Timm is the executive producer, who I'd say knows a thing or two about the Dark Knight considering his Batman: The Animated Series is the considered one the best adaptations of the Bat...ever. The voice talent (for the most part) is stellar. Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad is excellently cast as Jim Gordon, who's story this really is. Cranston's owns the role. But that should not surprise anyone. Wait, what was that? You don't watch Breaking Bad? Just end yourselves right now. It doesn't matter that you won't find out who wins Dancing With The Stars this season, you don't deserve to exist. Next is a double dose of geekgasm in the form of Eliza (Faith from Buffy) Dushku as Selina Kyle/Catwoman and Katie (Starbuck) Sackhoff as Sarah Essen, both of whom are relegated to supporting status. Lastly is the unfortunately miscast Ben "Who the fuck is that??" Mckenzie (The O.C., Southland) as young Bruce Wayne/Batman. For this role someone with much more gravitas was needed and Ben never sold me on the idea that he was a younger Bruce let alone Batman.

I really wanted to love the movie, but found myself feeling rather blah after watching it. It's not bad nor particularly very good. It is simply a serviceable telling of an iconic story. Perhaps the producers didn't want to chance it by tampering with one of the comic world's sacred cows. Maybe the right choice would have been not to tamper with it...at all. Who knows?

I may end up watching it again at which point my view may change, but I doubt it. I do hope that DC/Warner and the producers learn from their mistakes while preparing for next year's two part Batman The Dark Knight Returns animated movie. That one better be perfect.

Now to get my real Dark Knight fix, I'll go back to playing Batman Arkham City.

Let me know your thoughts below (only if you think Chaz Buono will win Dancing With The Stars).


21 October, 2011

CHUCK Season 5 EPK

Here are the EPK videos for CHUCK season 5, with a promo and interviews with the cast.  Enjoy.

NEW and SPOILERY! Watch at your own risk!


19 October, 2011

Lou Reed and Metallica: Lulu - A Review

Just got my hands on this 2CD set... and here is my initial song-by-song reaction. Expect a more detailed breakdown in a podcast at some point.

1. Brandenburg Gate - Lou Reed sounds like he is trying to old-man shout over Metallica. He and Hetfield keep telling me that they are small town girls. This is like when my mom tells me metal is just noise... because that is what this is to me. Holy fuck this is awful... and it just goes on and on and on and on... one fuckin note bullshit. The opening is the only good thing.

2. The View - Compared to the first track, this fucker is fuckin' genius. I apologize for everything I ever said about it. Brandenburg Gate has shown me the error of my ways. The View has won me over. I am starting to worry that this is the best track.

3. Pumping Blood - Thumpthumpthump and Lou Reed old-man barking "PUMPING BLOOD" with the beat. Suddenly the noise ends and Lou Reed talks over a clean guitar. This isn't horrible, something that surprises me. But Lars loves hitting that crash for no reason. Suddenly, as it is getting good, Lou yells at James to "come on" which takes me out of the narrative. Though, Lars' random drumming probably has something to do with that too. There are actually some kind of cool things going on musically here. The thing is, Lou Reed's monotone yammering isn't adding any weight to it... he just brings the shit down, making Metallica's sometimes cool riffs sound less constructed and more jammy, like these guys are writing it on the spot. The track ends with some Metallica jamming that will make people wish it was the opening of their next real song.

4. Mistress Dread - HOLY FUCK METALLICA IS PLAYING SUPER FUCKIN FAST AND THIS IS AWEohshit here comes fuckin' Lou Reed ruining it all. It is a pretty cool riff, sounding a bit like a riff from Disposable Heroes. I guess this is a good sign that the guys are still somewhere within that head space (finish writing your next album before you lose it!). The riff changes a tad but not much, sounding like Battery during those brief moments. Lou Reed sounds so fuckin' out of place it is painful listening to him. Around the 5 minute mark it slows down briefly before galloping off again. For this brief period Lou's rambling almost fits. Metallica ends the track 5 times or some shit for no reason whatsoever. Perhaps they are practicing for the next album.

5. Iced Honey - This sounds like a pure Lou Reed construct. As such, it is probably the first track on the album that kind of works as a song. Lou Reed's voice is still killing me but at least it doesn't sound totally out of place here. If you have seen Metallica and Lou Reed playing together at the Hall of Fame concert, then this should remind you of that.

6. Cheat On Me - It sounds kind of pretty... and then some old dude starts talking. But this kind of works. However, Reed's insistence on repeating lyrics, followed by James aping the same in a horrific pitchy whine... nearly brings the track down. This could likely have fit right on Reloadier, Metallica's third in the Load albums. I do kind of appreciate the quality in this one. But why did it need to go on for ELEVEN FUCKIN MINUTES?!

7. Frustration - Noise... noise... noise... Black Sabbath jumps in. The riffs in this aren't complex but there is a heavy coolness about them that reminds me that I wouldn't mind if the next Metallica album was some heavy Sad But True type shit with a more Sabbathy edge. Anyway, Lou Reed is probably the most annoying on this track during lulls in the music. I want to stab out my ears! Thankfully, Metallica saves this one with their heaviness. I fuckin' hate Lou Reed's voice, did I mention that? "I wish that I could kill you!" he says, and I shout it back at him! Then Metallica kicks in with a faster version of the riff with some differences and it is pretty fuckin' cool and I have never wished for the "Delete Lou" option more.

8. Little Dog - Clean open with Lou Reed's old-man breathing. Seriously, you hear him breathing right into the mic and I don't know if he means to do it for effect or if he is just so fuckin' old and unaware that he doesn't know he is BREATHING INTO THE FUCKIN MIC IN A CREEPY GROSS OLD FUCK KIND OF WAY! Funnily enough, as delivered, I could totally see this track working in a movie, TV show, or even as a music video. There is a true quality of concept here. But for 8 minutes? Come on. Still, so far The View and Little Dog are the only tracks I feel work from concept to execution into narrative.

9. Dragon - For nearly the first 3 minutes, Lou Reed is back to his annoying ways and then Metallica kicks in and it makes you sad again that this riff, or at least the idea of it, was wasted on this album. If you put the three really good riffs that have been heard so far into a new Metallica song, it would be pretty badass. In any event, outside of the first 3 minutes of this ELEVEN MINUTE track, this one isn't terrible and the riff is worth hearing. Lou Reed's rambling almost fits. This would probably have made a better single if not for the holy-shit-too-long running time.

10. Junior Dad - The track that made James and Kirk cry. It is OK, I guess. I am sleepy now. It feels like the most thought out of the songs, with respect to achieving some kind of artsy, avant garde quality. Perhaps had Lou Reed and Metallica spent more time working these songs out, the album would work better from both concept and execution.

If I had to rate this, based on my initial listen, the album gets:

65 out of 100

Not as shitty as I expected but nowhere near as good as Metallica and Lou Reed apologists, in their respective delusional camps, will proclaim it to be.

Now, CLICK to check out the Top 5 Metal Albums Per Decade Poopcast!


HUGE Playstation Store Update: 18 October, 2011

Sony finally updated the store today with tons of stuff including lots of demos. Missing in the North American update is the Gran Turismo 5 addons. They will apparently be released next week for NA with some kind of bonus for the wait.

Below is the full release info:

Full Game Trials: Dead Space Digital
Ridge Racer 7: 3D License Ver.
Exclusive Discounts: Okabu – 20% off
Rocketbirds – 20% off
Valkyria Chronicles II PSP Bundle Pack – 40% off
Paramount Sale Top Gun – 40% off
Star Trek DAC – 40% off
Days of Thunder – 40% off
Bundle of all 3 Paramount Titles + DLC – 50% off
Updates Dead Nation – Free
Burn Zombie Burn – Free
Street Smart – Free
Alien Zombie Death mini – Free
Age of Zombies mini – Free
Ghostbusters Sanctum of Slime – 30% off
Zombie Apocalypse – 30% off
Alien Zombie Megadeath – 30% off
Borderlands Zombie Island –30% off
Costume Quest Grubbins on Ice 30% off
Under Siege – 70% off
Burnout Crash! – 50% off
Valkyria Chronicles II PSP Bundle Pack – 40% off
Add-ons Dungeon Defenders PlayStation Plus Exclusive DLC (Free & Exclusive to PlayStation Plus members )
Avatars Street Fighter Alpha 3 Avatar Bundle ($2.99)
PlayStation Plus Halloween Bat Avatar (Free)
PlayStation Plus Halloween Candy Avatar (Free)
PlayStation Plus Halloween Candy Apple Avatar (Free)
PlayStation Plus Halloween Ghost Avatar (Free)
PlayStation Plus Halloween Jackolantern Avatar (Free)
PlayStation Plus Halloween Skull Avatar (Free)

Downloadable Games

Okabu ($14.99)
Dive into a tactile toy-box world filled with puzzles, adventures, adorable creatures and destructive machines. Take to the skies and guide cloud-whale brothers Kumulo and Nimbe on their epic adventure. Save the once-peaceful lands of Okabu from the diabolical Doza and their contraptions.
ESRB rated E
File size 213 MB
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken ($11.99)
Step into this stunning cinematic platform adventure game offering full solo and co-op campaigns with stereoscopic 3D support. Play as Hardboiled Chicken and use as slew of weapons and explosives to destroy the evil penguin regime.
ESRB rated M
File size: 433 MB
Beat Hazard Ultra ($9.99)
Experience your music collection like never before with this intense music driven twin-stick arcade shooter. Each of your songs will have its own unique ebb and flow based on the music. Power up your spaceship and watch as the music boosts your firepower and decimates waves of enemies!
ESRB rated E
File size 216 MB
Dead Space (Digital) ($19.99)
When an immense mining ship comes into contact with a mysterious alien artifact in a remote star system, its communications with Earth are mysteriously cut off. Engineer Isaac Clarke is sent to repair the Ishimura’s communications array, but he arrives to find a living nightmare.
ESRB rated M
File size 8.12 GB
Ridge Racer 7: 3D License Ver. ($19.99)
Ridge Racer 7 returns with stunning stereoscopic 3D visuals. Choose from 40 machines and over 40 courses for a driving experience unlike any other. Access 375,000 visual customization and 7,150 tunable combinations, or race against challengers from around the world with full PSN support.
ESRB rated E
File size 6.72 GB
Sam & Max: Beyond Time And Space – Full Season (Episodes 1-5) ($19.99)
Sam & Max Beyond Time and Space is a 5-episode trek from the North Pole to the Fountain of Youth. Babies will dance. Mariachis will sing. A giant battle robot will trash the streets. And when their friends are caught in the middle, Sam & Max will risk their very souls to set things right.
ESRB rated T
File size 1.48 GB
Dungeon Defenders ($14.99)
Dungeon Defenders is an action-RPG that sets you on an epic co-op adventure to protect the Eternia Crystal! Create heroes from one of four classes to fight across a full campaign or a horde of challenge missions! Defeat wave upon wave of enemies to level your heroes, forge equipment and more!
ESRB rated E10+
File size 1.35 GB
Real Steel ($9.99)
A boxing-style fighting game featuring robots as combatants, based on the recently released film, “REAL STEEL”.
ESRB rated E10+
File size 344 MB
Payday – The Heist w/Trial ($19.99)
PAYDAY The Heist is an action filled first person shooter game for the PlayStation Network that lets players take on the role of a hardened career criminal executing intense, dynamic heists in constant pursuit of the next “big score”. Load out with an array of weaponry and equipment.
ESRB rated M
File size 2.37 GB

Game Demos (free)

Payday – The Heist Demo
Jump into the pulse pounding demo for PAYDAY The Heist! This action filled first person shooter game lets players take on the role of a hardened career criminal executing intense, dynamic heists in constant pursuit of the next “big score”. Load out with an array of weaponry and equipment. Navigate six high-stake heists with three other live or A.I. Co-Op partners in crime.
ESRB rated M
File size 2.37 GB
Beat Hazard Ultra Demo
Beat Hazard Ultra – Gameplay Powered by YOUR Music! Experience your music collection like never before with this intense music driven twin-stick arcade shooter. Each of your songs will have its own unique ebb and flow based on the music. Power up your spaceship and watch as the music boosts your firepower and decimates waves of enemies!
ESRB rated E
File size 216 MB
Need For Speed: The Run Demo
Race for your life in the NEED FOR SPEED THE RUN demo. In the Desert Hills of Nevada you find yourself at the heart of the pack. Battle the unforgiving desert heat in a Lamborghini Gallardo LP 550-2 Valentino Balboni. Once past the desert, you face avalanche warnings at treacherous Independence Pass. Refer a friend and race in the new Porsche 911.
ESRB rated T
File size 1.2 GB
Okabu Demo
Dive into a tactile toy-box world filled with puzzles, adventures, adorable creatures and destructive machines. Take to the skies and guide cloud-whale brothers Kumulo and Nimbe on their epic adventure. Save the once-peaceful lands of Okabu from the diabolical Doza and their industrial contraptions.
ESRB rated E
File size 213 MB
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken Demo
Step into this stunning cinematic platform adventure game offering full solo and co-op campaigns with stereoscopic 3D support. Play as Hardboiled Chicken and use a slew of weapons and explosives to destroy the evil penguin regime. Unlock cut-scenes and music videos that unveil Hardboiled’s mysterious and violent past. Master fowl play in the co-op campaign as a pair of Budgie commandos on a mission to save the general’s daughter.
ESRB rated M
File size 433 MB
Sam & Max: Beyond Time And Space – Episode 1 – Ice Station Santa Demo
Check out the free trial of Sam & Max: Beyond Time & Space! Episode 1 – Ice Station Santa: He’s the most ancient and powerful opponent they’ve ever faced, a hairy, bloated, pagan God – Santa Claus! With carols of gunshots drowning out the bells, Sam & Max must storm the North Pole to bring down a less-than-jolly foe. Can the Freelance Police make sense of this Christmas conundrum in time to save children from tears, turmoil, and Torture-Me-Elmer?
ESRB rated T
File size 303 MB
Dungeon Defenders Demo
Dungeon Defenders is a hybrid tower defense, action-RPG that sets you on an epic co-op adventure to protect the Eternia Crystal! Create heroes from one of four classes to fight across a full campaign or a horde of challenge missions! Defeat wave upon wave of enemies to level your heroes, raise and trade pets, collect epic loot, forge equipment and more! Play with up to 4 friends with local (splitscreen) and ONLINE PlayStation Network multiplayer!
ESRB rated E10+
File size 1.35 GB
Real Steel Demo
This is the trial version of a boxing-style fighting game featuring robots as combatants, based on the upcoming film, “REAL STEEL”. You will need to purchase an “unlock key” in order to play the full version.
ESRB rated E10+
File size 344 MB
Everybody Dance Demo
Try out the Everybody Dance demo for PlayStation Move. In this demo, you’ll get to sample dances to 4 of the songs from the 40 hit track list on the full game. With the full game you will be able to play each song on beginner, intermediate, or hard modes, or grab a friend and try out partner dance. It’s your turn to dominate the dance floor!
ESRB rated T
File size 713 MB

Add-on Game Content

Batman Arkham City – Catwoman Bundle (First Purchase DLC) ($9.99)
Activate the Catwoman Bundle Pack to play as Catwoman in a unique storyline. The Catwoman Bundle Pack is included with the purchase of the game. If the Catwoman Bundle Pack code has already been redeemed by a previous owner, you can purchase a Catwoman Bundle Pack from the PlayStation Store. The Catwoman Bundle Pack also comes with two bonus Catwoman skins: Long Halloween Catwoman and Animated Catwoman.
File size 217 MB
SOCOM 4: U.S. Navy SEALs Demolition Pack ($9.99)
The SOCOM 4: U.S. Navy SEALs Demolition Content Pack brings the classic “Demolition” multiplayer mode back to SOCOM. In addition to the “Demolition” mode, the pack also includes four new maps, two new weapons and six character skins.
File size 1.84 GB
Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Explosive Mission Pack ($3.49)
Unlocks the Tong’s Rescue Bonus Mission, the Grenade Launcher, the Remote-Detonated Explosive Device and the Automatic Unlocking Device for Deus Ex: Human Revolution.
File size 105 KB
Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Tactical Enhancement Pack ($14.49)
Unlocks the Double-Barrel Shotgun, the Silenced Sniper Rifle, and 10,000 extra in-game credits for Deus Ex: Human Revolution.
File size 105 KB
Deus Ex: Human Revolution – The Missing Link ($9.99)
The Deus Ex: Human Revolution conspiracy grows deeper in The Missing Link. During Adam’s quest for the truth in Deus Ex: Human Revolution, he mysteriously vanishes for three days. Where was he? What did he find out? The Missing Link reveals it all.
File size 1.46 GB
Rocksmith – Tone Designer Time Saver Pack ($4.99)
For the time conscious tone designer, this pack gives you access to all standard effects pedals, amps and cabinets appearing in every Authentic Tone in Rocksmith. Note: Does not include rare pedals. Music Downloads Not Rated by the ESRB.
File size 100 KB
Yoostar 2 – Drag Race ($1.99)
American Graffiti – Out cruising with annoying teenybopper Carol, John Milner runs across mouthy Bob Falfa, who challenges John to a race.
File size 48 MB
Yoostar 2 – Fast Ride Through A Tunnel ($0.99)
Video Backgrounds – Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel as you hug the curves of an underground tunnel.
File size 62 MB
Yoostar 2 – Real Hot! ($1.99)
Some Like It Hot – On the run from gangsters, Joe has been hiding in drag in Sugar Kane’s all-girl band.
File size 81 MB
Yoostar 2 – Tell Me About The Stuff Inside ($1.99)
Rocky Balboa – The two friends shiver in the icy slaughterhouse.
File size 106 MB
Yoostar 2 – Voodoo Economics ($1.99)
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – While Ferris Bueller plays hooky, his high school economics teacher (Ben Stein) gives a lecture about the Great Depression.
File size 79 MB
The Sims 3 Pets Online Pass ($9.99)
This Online Pass grants you access to The Sims 3 Pet Exchange. Access to online features is nontransferable.
File size 100 KB
Rock Band 3
Build your Rock Band library by purchasing these song game tracks. For song credits, visit www.RockBand.com.
  • “Clocks” – Coldplay ($1.99)
  • “Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall” – Coldplay ($1.99)
  • “Fix You” – Coldplay ($1.99)
  • “The Scientist” – Coldplay ($1.99)
  • “Viva La Vida” – Coldplay ($1.99)
  • “Yellow” – Coldplay ($1.99)
  • Artist pack ($9.99) – Build your Rock Band library by purchasing this song game album: Coldplay Collection 01. This pack includes “Clocks,” “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall,” “Fix You,” “The Scientist,” “Viva la Vida,” and “Yellow” by Coldplay.
File size: 27-37 MB (singles), 182 MB (track pack)
Rock Band Network v2.0
  • “Namaste” – Veil of Maya ($1.99)
  • “Nugget Man” – Paul and Storm ($1.99)
  • “Piano Sonata No. 14 – Moonlight Sonata (Beethoven)” – Thomas Walker ($0.99)
  • “Shadow Of A Man” – Free Spirit ($1.99)
  • “The Cheval Glass” – Emery ($1.99)
File size: 9-31 MB (singles)


Transformers: War For Cybertron: Wfc Map And Character Pack 1 – Price Change (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Transformers: War For Cybertron: Wfc Map And Character Pack 2 – Price Change (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Ghostbusters: Sanctum Of Slime – Sale (PS3) (now $6.99, original price $9.99)
Burn Zombie Burn – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Burn Zombie Burn In Space – Sale (PS3) (now $1.49, original price $2.99)
Blue Toad Murder Files Episodes 2-6 Upgrade Bundle – Sale (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Variety Map Pack – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Resurgence Package – Sale (PS3) (now $7.49, original price $14.99)
Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Stimulus Package – Sale (PS3) (now $7.49, original price $14.99)
Call Of Duty: World At War Map Pack 1 Dlc – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Call Of Duty: World At War Map Pack 2 Dlc – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Call Of Duty: World At War Map Pack 3 Dlc – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Call Of Duty: World At War Map Pack Bundle – Sale (PS3) (now $14.49, original price $24.99)
Borderlands: Zombie Island – Sale (PS3) (now $6.99, original price $9.99)
Tetris – Sale (PS3) (now $6.99, original price $9.99)
Zombie Apocalypse – Sale (PS3) (now $6.99, original price $9.99)
Days Of Thunder – Nascar Edition – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Star Trek: D-A-C – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Top Gun – Sale (PS3) (now $4.99, original price $9.99)
Alien Zombie Mega Death – Sale (PS3) (now $5.49, original price $7.99)
Crazy Taxi – Sale (PS3) (now $6.99, original price $9.99)
Gunstar Heroes – Sale (PS3) (now $2.99, original price $4.99)
Sega Rally Online Arcade – Sale (PS3) (now $6.99, original price $9.99)
Phantasy Star Portable 2 – Sale (PSP3) (now $19.99, original price $39.99)
Sega Genesis Collection – Sale (PSP3) (now $12.99, original price $15.99)
Crazy Taxi: Fare Wars – Sale (PSP3) (now $6.99, original price $9.99)
Costume Quest – Sale (PS3) (now $10.49, original price $14.99)
One Epic Game – Price Change (PS3/PSP) (now $1.99, original price $3.99)


Qore Episode 41: October, 2011
File size 1.42 GB


Street Fighter Alpha 3 Assorted Avatars (x25) ($0.49 each)

Game Videos (free)

Pulse 10/18 Edition
Payday: The Heist – Diamond Heist Trailer
Payday: The Heist – Panic Room Trailer
Payday: The Heist – World Bank Trailer
Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One Octomoth Battle
Ratchet & Clank: All 4 Single Player Experience
Ratchet & Clank: All 4 Z’Grute Boss Battle
The Darkness 2 – What Is The Darkness? Trailer
Dragon Age Ii Mark Of The Assassin Launch Trailer
NBA Jam: On Fire Edition – Producer Video 2 – Online Modes
Need For Speed The Run Sports Illustrated Announcement
Absolute Supercars Cars Trailer
Absolute Supercars Game Debut Trailer
Rochard Official Trailer
Metro: Last Light – E3 12 Minute Playthrough
Metro: Last Light – E3 Gameplay Demo Part I
Metro: Last Light – E3 Gameplay Demo Part II
Metro: Last Light – E3 Gameplay Demo Part III
Dungeon Defenders Monk Trailer
Dungeon Defenders Squire Trailer

PS3 Themes

Fantasy: Demon Zombie Dynamic Theme ($2.99)
Abstract Purple Lightning Dynamic Theme ($2.99)
Dynamic Colored Smoke Theme 2 ($2.99)
Dynamic Colored Ink Theme ($2.99)
Dynamic 3d City Theme ($2.99)
Dynamic Blue Lasers Theme ($2.99)
Dynamic 3d Circuits Theme 2 ($2.99)
Halloween Haunting Dynamic Theme ($2.99)
Bacon Dynamic Theme ($2.99)
Fast Five Dynamic Theme ($2.99)

PS3 Wallpapers (free)

Payday: The Heist – Wallpaper (1-5)
4 Elements HD: Wallpaper 3
Okabu Wallpaper – Doza Fortress
Okabu Wallpaper – Karibu Valley
Okabu Wallpaper – Lake Waka
Okabu Wallpaper – Noko Woods

PSone Classics

Street Fighter Alpha 3 ($5.99)
Select from over 30 characters and choose one of three fighting styles in this classic fighter. Download this PS one Classic today!
File size 328 MB


Paramount Games Bundle ($14.99)
Sam & Max – Max Pack (Bundle Of 2 Seasons) ($29.90)

PlayStation Store for PSP

PSP minis (also available from PS3 Storefront)

1000 Tiny Claws – Minis ($3.49)
File size 93 MB
The Treasures Of Montezuma – Minis ($3.99)
File size 15 MB
Street Smart – Minis ($2.99)
File size 26 MB
Speedball 2 Evolution – Minis ($6.99)
File size 46 MB

Game Videos (free)

Pulse 10/18 Edition

PSP Bundles

Valkyria Chronicles II PSP Bundle Pack ($22.49)
File size: 848 MB


18 October, 2011

Geek Furious The Poopcast #4 - Four Decades of Metal: Top 5 Albums Per Decade

We list our top 5 METAL albums per decade, starting with the 70s and ending it all in 2011 (yes, we cheat a bit there).

If you are not interested in metal, then don't fuckin' listen!

Right click to save the mp3 version.

Note: The song used to open the episode is Asphyxiated Time by Revenant.


14 October, 2011

FRINGE 4.04 - Pacey Poof part 4

If you haven't seen the latest episode of FRINGE, stop reading NOW!

OK, so... Pacey Poof, aka Peter Bishop, is still missing and baddaboombaddabing... an episode happens!

Let me just start off by saying that I am a fan of this type of episode. There is no case-of-the-week and instead we happen onto a case based on something related to the characters. This is of course something that half of season 2 and most of season 3 was full of and why I am still watching the show. Therefor, I am predisposed to digging this one right out of the gate.

Walter and Olivia are both invested in discovering who this man is they are either seeing or dreaming about, especially when Olivia is visited by a blue orb or energy that arm rapes her. Meanwhile, there is a bullshit side story about whether or not Olivia will fuck Walter over and toss his limey arse back in the nut house. She won't. Spoiler?

Anyway, so the main story takes Olivia and Walter onto some ridiculously convenient path that results in some dude with the EXACT FUCKIN' POWERS NECESSARY TO BRING PETER BACK to be mistakenly thought to be the cause of the blue orb arm-raper phenomenon. He reveals he is not the dude causing the blue shit but that he is happy to wax emo about what Walter did to all the super duper special kids way back in the olden days of 1998 or some shit, when cell phones, the Internet, and handheld computing devices hasn't been invented... (or had they?! tune in next week!).

But I digress. So, Walter brings them to some power station blahblahblah proper-amount-of-suck and PETER IS BACK!

This is actually where the episode gets really fuckface interesting and I realize just how much this show blows poo-bubbles when Pacey Poof isn't around. The second we have even a hint of him, the show is awesome again. And then it fuckin' ends!

Next week, why doesn't anyone remember Peter and how will they finally remember him? I promise you one thing, we won't find out next week (since there is a two week break). Oops, that's like a fuckin' paradox, yo.

COMMUNITY rocked Thursday with SEVEN timelines! FRINGE had a bit of trouble with one this week, but in the end, it was mostly satisfying to see my hetero-life-mate return.

Were I to rank this episode, I would give it:

84 out of 100

It could have been better if not for the terribly contrived plotting that brought Peter back.


COMMUNITY 3.04: Remedial Chaos Theory... oh the madness!

Last night's killer episode brought us not one, not two, not three, not.... BUT SEVEN TIMELINES of awesomeness! This was easily the best episode of season 3 and arguably (we shall let time decide these things) a top 3 episode of the series.

There has been some debate between critics, fans, and douchefucks who smear monkey shit all over their bodies before putting their come-stained pudgy donut-grasping sausage-sized fingers on their perpetually sticky-from-projectile-launching-sweat-gland-deposits and opine their diabetic-coma diatribe all over the Internet assclowns, about the quality of this latest season. The writers answered that debate with a nuclear bomb of genius!

Let's cut to the chase, the episode is based around a party at Troy and Abed's new apartment. The study group members show up and eventually the pizza guy rings the doorbell. Jeff, in his infinite manipulative laziness, comes up with a way to decide who has to go downstairs to receive the yummies, by rolling a single dice. Seven people around a table... six sided dice? Hmmmm. Oh, Jeff!

As Jeff starts to roll, Abed points out that he is creating six different timelines. Jeff mocks the notion and rolls. The show then takes us on this epic ride!

Note: first timeline is not bolded since it is the first time happening. Subsequent timelines have bolded text to indicate a change from Timeline 1 or a significant change in the other timelines. Italics are used when a change in the timeline created a small change or when the timeline sequences have been exited.

Timeline 1 - Roll is 2: Annie
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Troy finds Annie's gun in her purse; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Shirley brings the pies to the table; Britta comes out of the bathroom and Abed is waiting in front of the door, and tells her that it smells weird inside; Annie arrives with the pizza and Britta rushes dramatically over to the food; Annie mentions that the pizza guy was super creepy.

Timeline 2 - Roll is 4: Shirley
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Jeff reminds everyone to not eat Shirley's pies; Jeff says he doesn't like being the bad guy, then as Britta starts to sing, he stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Jeff talks about not enabling Shirley's baking; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Troy is horrified to find the gift is a troll statue; Jeff laughs, then gets up and is hit in the head by the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie offers to look at the injury in the bathroom; Britta and Abed are ending their conversation in the bathroom; Shirley shows up with the pizzas; Britta rushes dramatically over to the food; Shirley asks if anyone remembered to take out her pies; Shirley pulls out her pies and they are all burnt; Jeff tells her she is not allowed to have baking things as an identity; Shirley yells at the group and storms out; upon slamming the door, the rolling rock in the Indiana Jones miniature begins to roll; Abed catches the rolling rock.

Timeline 3 - Roll is 3: Pierce
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Annie tells Troy she loves his place and that he's "all grown up now"; Jeff mocks Troy's maturity and Annie laughs with him; Troy gets up in anger and hits the Indiana Jones miniature, releasing the rock; Abed catches the rolling rock; Britta has her head out of the bathroom window smoking a marijuana cigarette when Troy knocks; Troy enters the bathroom and tells Britta he is a man; Annie tells Jeff he is a bit hard on Troy; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan; Annie offers to look at the injury in the bathroom; Abed tells them that Britta is in the bathroom; Annie and Jeff enter the kitchen where Shirley is taking out her pies; Annie and Jeff flirt and Shirley offers pie as a remedy which Jeff saarcastically shoots down; Britta and Troy talk about why Jeff is mean to him and that Jeff has a guarded personality; Pierce returns with the pizzas and mentions how unattractive the pizza guy was; Britta and Troy share a happy moment together while everyone else notices their bond and are puzzled.

Timeline 4 - Roll is 6: Britta
Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Abed remains at the table with Jeff, Troy, and Annie; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie takes Jeff into the bathroom to look at his injury; Troy and Abed have a friendly conversation; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming" gift; Jeff and Annie talk about her safety and how much Jeff cares about her; Troy screams and Jeff and Annie rush into the livingroom to find Pierce holding the troll, taunting a terrified Troy; Shirley interjects, followed by Abed commenting on why Pierce is behaving this way, and Pierce calls Abed crazy; Britta shows up with the pizza guy and tells the group they are in love and getting married.

Timeline 5 - Roll is 1: Troy
Troy rushes out of the apartment and slams the door, starting the rolling rock in the Indiana Jones miniature, Roxanne by the Police is already playing; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; the rolling rock falls to the floor; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie tells Jeff she will look at his injury in the bathroom; as Annie begins to walk she trips over the rolling rock, her purse goes flying as she falls on a nearby table and launches the content of the table onto the floor, breaking a bottle of alcohol; Pierce kicks the "housewarming gift" as the gun in Annie's purse fires, hitting Pierce in the thigh; Annie tries to apply first aid to Pierce as blood spurts out of his leg, hitting Shirley in the torso and face as she walks into the room with her pies; Britta comes rushing out of the bathroom with a lit marijuana cigarette in her mouth, opens her mouth wide in shock at what she sees and the cigarette falls onto the alcohol spill and lights on fire; the gift box is set on fire and Jeff tries to put out the apartment fire; Troy walks in with the pizzas and sees the carnage, then notices the now burnt box contains the troll he fears and reacts in horror.

Timeline 6 - Roll is 5: Abed
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Abed tells everyone he needs money for the pizzas; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt; Shirley checks on her pies without saying so; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Troy tells her it is down the hall; Jeff hits his head and Annie offers to look at it in the bathroom but Troy reminds her that Britta is in there; as Britta smokes, Annie and Jeff go into the kitchen where Shirley has just taken out her pies; Britta comes out of the bathroom and asks what smells so amazing; Shirkey excitedly reacts by taking the pies to Britta and letting her eat one; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Troy thanks Pierce and then expresses his gratitude over letting him stay with Pierce when he was without a place to live, while Shirley expressed to Britta that she feels baking is her only value to the group and Jeff tells Annie he worries about her; Pierce, feeling guilty, tries to prevent Troy from opening the gift; Britta mistakenly confesses that the group made a pact not to eat Shirley's pies, and that she is high, while Annie and Jeff kiss in the kitchen; Pierce and Troy fight over the gift while Britta and Shirley argue about drugs and pies, while Jeff and Annie kiss; Annie admits something Jeff said reminded her of her dad and Jeff judges her on lip-gloss use; Troy sees the troll and yells at Pierce to die alone, as Abed shows up with the pizzas.

Timeline 7 - Roll is stopped by Abed
Abed gives a speech about randomness/chaos etc, talking about everyone in the group and then pointing out the Jeff's system of choosing who goes for pizza made it so he never has to go; Jeff proudly laughs as the group reacts with different levels of disgust; Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Jeff goes to get the pizzas and says "Like it matters who goes", then hits his head on the ceiling fan as everyone laughs; Troy uses airplane bathroom as a metaphor for Jeff but Pierce does not take the opportunity to talk about Eartha Kitt; Shirley goes to get her pies; Britta sings Roxanne and the group joins her in dancing and singing; Pierce tosses the "housewarming gift" out of the window; Jeff returns with the pizzas and notes that the fun the group is having is what happens when he is not around, then eats pizza while he watches the group have fun.

Episode Ending - Based on Timeline 5
Pierce is dead; Annie is in a mental hospital; Jeff is missing an arm; Shirley is an alcoholic; Troy is missing his larynx and has a voice box; Britta has a blue streak in her hair; Abed discusses how they can go to the prime timeline and make their evil selves part of the prime; Jeff storms out with Britta and Shirley.

Exit Timelines
Troy and Abed are sitting in their pajamas in their apartment watching television and eating popcorn; Abed is aware that something is different but doesn't know what, then dismisses the feeling.

So what does it all mean? Apparently Jeff is the personality that stifles their fun. Troy and Britta are one talk away from either a great friendship or falling for each other. Annie has a father-like crush on Jeff, who himself is hot for her but doesn't want the obvious attraction reasons to be so obvious. Pierce still wants to be appreciated. Shirley feels like an outsider and tries too hard to seem significant to the group. Abed is a genius... but we already knew that!

What did you think? What did you take away from the episode?

Oh and if I had to rate it...

98 out of 100!