27 September, 2011

Geek Furious The Poopcast #3 - I AM THE TABLE!

In this poopcast, we discuss all things awesome within the current METAL universe... minus Opeth because I edited that discussion out.

We talk brand new Anthrax, Mastodon, and Machine Head... plus we dive head first into the Lou Reed and Metallica collaboration project Lulu, and discuss the just released single from it, The View.

We also dig into the behind the scenes worlds of Metallica and discuss the singerpocalypse over at Anthrax.  I think we also compare Lulu to the recent changes to Star Wars by George Lucas.


Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes by clicking this link.

Download the mp3 version of the poopcast.


19 September, 2011

Chuckfest3 Ticket Ordering Info and Stuff

The information about this charity event, that will most likely take place on November 5th, 2011, has been posted here.

That is all.

17 September, 2011

FRINGE Season 4 episodes 1 and 2 review

First off, I am not going to dive into spoilery material much, but there will likely be a few things that could possibly spoil elements of the episode for you. So, don't read this review of you don't want to know anything. Otherwise, read away knowing that what I say will mostly just touch on my reactions to what I watched.

FOX says:

"Neither Here Nor There" - Episode 4.01


FRI SEPT 23 9/8c

I say:
"I need to erase someone from time."
The episode kicks off with the recent changes to the FRINGE world after the events of the season 3 finale. Pacey Poof, aka Peter, is gone and seemingly forgotten but not entirely erased from time. The episode does reference him and reveals part of "the trigger" (look for my spoiler somewhere on this site) but also moves forward with a case-of-the-week that brings a new member to the team. But at all time the audience is aware of Poof's existence, or lack thereof. I would compare this to a will-they-won't-they type romance device used on oh so many shows, but this time the anticipation is always in the expectation that Peter will somehow appear. Does he? Will he? Tune in!

What is clear is that Pacey Poof's actions and the Observer's attempt to "fix" time, have different levels of effect on those he knew and loved. Parts of that story-line remind me of "The Constant" arc on LOST. I am sure some people will find a way to have a problem with that. I am not one of those people.

I am not going to write a point-by-point of the episode, I am sure others will do a fine job of that. I will just say that I think there are very strong elements to "Neither Here Nor There" and those who are heavily invested in the Peter arc will be glued to their seat. There is also an interesting MEN IN BLACK vibe near the end that I loved.

95 out of 100

FOX says:

"One Night in October" - Episode 4.02


FRI SEPT 30 9/8c

I say:
"She bought my ignorance with baked goods..."
The episode continues pretty much from where the last left off (minus the intro, which is related to the case-of-the-week). The show digs more into the feelings between the people of the two worlds toward each other while also fighting through the plot of the previous episode. The two worlds have to work together and it seems no one on our side likes it much.

There are some cool Olivia/Fauxlivia scenes here. Anna Torv didn't have to do much interacting with herself in season 3 but now it is an important part of the story. Those who think she was robbed of a nomination by the Emmy voters will be screaming even louder now. I am really interested to see where this whole Olivia/Fauxlivia thing goes. There are so many possible scenarios for fun interactions, betrayals, friendships, and so on between these two. I wonder how Torv doesn't get confused... I guess that is what being a professional is all about.

There is also a theme going about Walter's melancholy that allows the phenomenal John Noble to extend his acting chops beyond our already high expectations. Walt is different without his Peter and we know he has to eventually find him, wherever he is, to be complete. I felt very sad for his character. Oh, Pacey Poof... come back!

I have never been much of a fan of the case-of-the-week on FRINGE and I am struggling to care about what it means to the first two episodes, but at least the second episode adds an interesting element to it with the complexity of the two worlds interacting with each other. However, halfway through the second episode I just wanted to get to the Pacey stuff that I know is just waiting to reveal more.

Thankfully, we won't be waiting long for that.

The episode is very good but loses some points from me because I feel the case-of-the-week takes away from my need for more Pacey Poof stuff! Anna Torv owns every scene she is in, especially when playing off herself. The cooperation between the two worlds makes for a fun new dynamic. And Pacey Poof is... well, the episode ends on a high note which is why it earns a higher score than the first.

96 out of 100


16 September, 2011

FRINGE - Season 4 Promo of Awesomeness

What will happen in this new season? The following promo gives us some hints...


Star Wars: Alderaan Shoots First!

In one of the best changes to the Star Wars saga ever, the Death Star is shown to have only been defending itself in its attack on the evil scheming Alderaan douchebags.

Bunch of punk fucks! Who did these cunty tits think they were messing with? Gunghans?

Click the link to see the genius moment in all of it's glory.


14 September, 2011

Curb Your Enthusiasm, 8.10, Michael J. Fucked Up

This is it guys, the last episode of the season. Or should I say "la saison", since Larry and Leon have found their way to Paris. I wonder who Larry is going to run into in the city of lights that is going to ask him to make an appearance at a fundraiser or some do-goody event, that he'll lie to, saying that he has to be out of town that day, that will ultimately lead him to a new city. Marion Cotillard? Vincent Cassel? Charlotte Gainsbourg? (I'm naming French people that most of you have probably heard of. If I had to name the French equivalent to LD it would have to be Fabrice Luchini but you all would be like WHO THE FUCK?) Anyway, here it goes...the last review for Curb Your Enthusiasm by Babydoll. It's been a mother fucking pleasure.

1. "Larry Vs. Micheal J. Fox" starts off with Larry in Jennifer's (Ana "Schweddy Balls" Gasteyer) apartment. While waiting for her, he meets Greg, her highly effeminate, highly gay, 7 year old son. Thus proving to us all that gayness can begin in the early stages of life, even before you're aware that you want to touch another boy's penis. Greg is FAAAAABULOUSSSSSS. He watches Project Runway, loves FASHION, and he totally gets the esthetic of swastikas. So much so that he wants to bring them back. He loves the way that the lines go up, then down, then straight, it's like, really couture. If ever he decided to go on Project Runway (and with his pillow sham, I'm sure he'd stand a chance), I'm not sure Heidi Klum would go for his Aryan Nation look. Sorry Greg, but unless you change that swastika to stripes, I'm going to have to say "auf wiedersehen". Nevertheless, Larry embraces the little Carson Kressley wannabe and decides to buy him a sowing machine for his birthday. Of course, Jennifer freaks out, accusing Larry of trying to "turn her son gay", but as Larry puts it "it's not like I can get him a football or a baseball". It's Larry's ill-fated destiny: he has the right intentions but they are constantly misconstrued due to their implications, especially if they are (and they mostly are) taboos.

2. Speaking of taboos, Michael J. Fox (or should I say Michael J. FOXY) appears in this episode, and after watching it for the first time, I really wanted to count how many times the word "Parkinson's" was uttered. But I'm lazy, so, I abandoned that endeavor pretty quickly. Foxy plays LD's upstairs neighbor and the two run into each other at Jennifer's bar where she is a background music piano player. If only Sinatra could have heard her play "New York, New York", he would have shushed everyone in the audience as well. LD, wishing to hear her play (and get laid) shushes MJF, leading him to shake his head at Larry as he walks out of the bar. But is it a Parkinson's shake or a pissed off shake? That is the question. And there begins the whole David/Fox face-off. LD believes that Fox's attitude towards him (the soda shake, the stomping on the floor) is all in Fox's plan to piss him off but disguised as being part of his Parkinson's. As he rightly puts it, Fox can't have carte blanche for being an asshole JUST BECAUSE he has Parkinson's. The Parkinson's Pity Party shouldn't keep people from treating him like a normal human being, someone that could ACTUALLY be an asshole. However, the rest of New York doesn't see it like Larry does and at Fox's get together for his foundation, Bloomberg, in a very Trump-esque way, tells LD, le new-yorker, to peace the fuck out of the city (well he didn't say it exactly that way but humor me). Again in LD's defense, the only reason he mimicked a violin player was because he really got Greg a violin. But such is LD's fate. He's misunderstood, even in the city that raised him. It's as if the New York that created Larry isn't that same New York anymore. The times of the politically incorrect David and Allen's of this world might be long and gone. Now, that's just my interpretation, and it is up for debate.

3. Larry however doesn't leave NY because Bloomberg tells him to (like many New Yorkers during Hurricane Irene). He leaves because he doesn't want to help out the sick kids at the hospital with Fox and his wife. Playing put put golf with kids, exposing himself to sickness? Fuck that shit. LD tells Fox that he'll be out of town that day, for two months, in Paris. Thus, leading us to the end of the season: Larry et Leon walking along the streets of a fake Paris, only to end up where it all really began: Larry getting angry with a man for parking in between the lines. But this time, he yells at him in French (le pig parker, or as he should have said le cochon qui ne sait pas se garer...but I won't make an issue out of it). It's LD's calling to call shit out at he sees it, no matter what language it's in, and that is what makes him so FABULOUS.

Babydoll's by the way...
-Greg, aka baby Carson, would totally have won Project Runway if it was "Project Runway: The Third Reich".
-I realized only during this episode that I would fucking KILL to live with Leon Black. No joke. Like, couldn't you just picture it? Not being able to sleep, being totally hungry, and making pasta with pesto at 2 in the morning with Leon talking about dicks? If J.B. Smoove was on a reality show like "Flavor of Love" I'd be the first white bitch to try to get a clock, or in this case, a doo-rag.
-How funny was that doorman when he confronted Larry? He was totally acting like a mob man's bodyguard. Only in New York.
-What is it with every show ending with a mention or a shot in the city of lights? Entourage (SPOILER ALERT), Friends, Sex and the City... Is Paris "IT"? What about London or Rome? I'm not complaining, cos hell, it's flattering to me, but I can't help but wonder why Paris?
-In Jennifer's defense, her son could just as well be European (but he's probably gay).
-Did anyone else think back to Seinfeld's purse episode watching the Greg storyline? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnKRbEPbItE).
-Thanks for bringing in Aasif Mandvi from Jon Stewart to play the pissed off guy in the elevator. Though, I am upset he didn't sound THAT british. I wanted more English prick attitude out of him.

Curb Your Political Correctness...
-"Is it pissed off or Parkinson's?"
-"Michael J. Fox is going to be Michael J. Fucked up"
-"That shit don't go down in black neighborhoods"
-"Ok, he's pre-gay".
-The best of Greg: "What's a Hitler? A bad man? Oh my god!" - "GET A LIFE JEWS!". It reminds me of the kid in Schindler's list that says "GOODBYE JEWS!" (See Louis C.K. he does a great rendition). Props to the Curb casting director to have found such a great kid actor. I wonder if they had to tell him to "act gay", would he know what that means at such a young age? Or did they just find the gayest looking kid they knew? I wonder, I wonder.

Finally, I'd like to take a second and just say how much this season of Curb made me forget how pissed I was at waiting for a new season to come back. If the writing is always this good, then I don't mind waiting more than a year for new episodes. That being said, I'd like to see a bit more flashbacks. Why is Larry the way he is?


09 September, 2011

Curb Your Enthusiasm, 8.09, Heckling and Vibrating

I’d first like to take a second here and tell you that watching this week’s episode “Mr. Softee” taught me more about baseball than any other given moment of my life, and I AM from Boston, so what does that tell you? Right, I know. It’s muy pathetico, but what ya gonna do?

Now, without further adieu, let’s take a look at what happened to LD’s life this week in the Big Apple.

1. The story starts out with our hero eating fish in a restaurant with his date, Jennifer, played by the talented and hilarious Ana Gasteyer from SNL. Ok, she’s not Rachel Dratch “Debbie Downer” funny but you should check out her Celine Dion impression. It’s a knee slapper, kids, a knee slapper. Anywho, Susie and Jeff are also there, which makes me think that the only place these two don’t follow Larry is the toilet, the doctor’s (only for a rectal exam), and his bedroom IF he’s having sex. Jeff and LD fight over the fact that they both ordered different meals so that they could share and when the food arrives, Jeff retracts his offer to share. This is an ethical issue for the ages. It can't be taken lightly.

2. We finally meet Larry’s shrink in New York. And by finally, I mean we all assumed that he was seeing one, so there’s really no surprise there. Dr. Thurgood (played by Fred Melamed that you might remember from A Serious Man by the Coen brothers) is what you’d expect LD’s shrink to look like: balding, four-eyed, sporting tweed and need I say it? Jewish. Is it just me or is a shrink supposed to remind you of a well-respected Ivy league university professor? LD shares with Thurgood his childhood trauma. Way back when, Leib son of Nat, played strip poker with the daughter of a Mr. Softee ice cream truck driver in said truck. Leib, clearly an inexperienced poker player, lost the game, therefore forfeiting his underpants to the little pervy girl. Unfortunately for him, her father walked in and kicked his little white ass out of the truck, where all the people in the street humiliated him. Now, every time Larry hears the Mr. Softee jingle, his mind goes straight back to that memory. Thank god there’s no pavlovian reflex because imagine if hearing that jingle made him take off his clothes? Yeesh, that shit would be wack. Instead, hearing the jingle made him go “softee” in the sack and cost him the baseball (or was it softball? Who the fuck knows?) game for Yari’s automatics.

3. LEON IS BACK IN THE MOTHER FUCKIN’ HOUSE Y’ALL – AND BOY IS SPORTIN’ GLASSES. Why you ask? Because according to Larry David and clearly the creator of Family Matters, black men wearing glasses get more respect and are treated better (“White people revere black people in glasses, they go out of their way to do shit for them”) – and the proof is there! Thanks to the glasses, Leon was allowed back into the building, he was able to get LD and him in line for Baseballcon, AND he got Thurgood to tear up Larry’s bill for the free session at the convention.

4. Now, my least favorite part of the whole episode, which is talking about baseball. To be honest, the only parts I enjoyed were when Bill Buckner went to the Shiva and got ousted by a Red Sox fan and Jerry Adler (aka Hesh from The Sopranos) and when he saved the baby from the burning building. I felt bad for the dude being heckled everywhere he went. It’s like, are you a major league baseball player? You aren't? Then shut the fuck up ass hole. You know what I mean? But then again, I’m not a baseball fan so… maybe I should shut the fuck up. In other baseball news, LD got for Jeff a Mookie Wilson autographed baseball – that Buckner lost by missing a catch – but that Leon got back by stealing it from Thurgood’s office. Curb has come full circle – or full diamond if you will. Padum pssshh (that’s my drum/cymbal bad joke onomatopoeia).

5. FINALLY, the moment we’ve (I’ve) been waiting for. LD’s car seat that gives women insta-gasms. Like Leon said, “this chair is a fuck machine”, it’s a “moving dildo”. Imagine if that seat was the driver’s seat? Bitches, we would be in trou-bleeeeeee. Now, I laughed seeing Ana Gasteyer have an orgasm on the vagitator, but nothing compares to seeing my girl Susie let one out. Bitch sounded like two hippos having sex. No wonder Jeff sleeps around. He probably doesn’t know whether he’s pleasuring her or suffocating her. Poor Larry, he probably won’t be able to go to the zoo anymore without getting horrible flashbacks. He should see Dr. Thurgood about that.

Babydoll’s by the way…
-Black guys wearing glasses make them more reliable and smarter? I take offense, because when blondes wear glasses no one takes us seriously, they just think of us as dirty librarians or secretaries that “fanny around with press releases”.
-Car Periscope? Car seat vibrator! That shit needs to go on sale at Brookstone’s stat! Of course, security measures would have to be worked out but at least with this invention we’d stop being backseat drivers.
-Only Larry would go on for more than 30 seconds on whether or not he feels comfortable putting his feet up on his shrink’s coffee table.
-YES, so now we know why LD says "pretty pretty good". If only we knew more how LD became LD. Those in favor for flashbacks say "AYE"!

Curb your political correctness…
-“She was coming downstairs”.
-“You like a mixed nut? You like a chip and a dip? I’m completely dipless”.
-“I have overcome GOD DAMNIT!”
-And…the best line of all time: “AND WE WILL FUCK THEIR SISTERS IN THE CUNT!” You can be sure that I will start using this proficiently.


08 September, 2011

Curb Your Enthusiasm, 8.08, The Implementation

First and foremost, I’d like to apologize to all of you for the lateness on these reviews. I was on holiday [editor's note: what we in the US call "vacation"] in the middle of the Atlantic (The Queen Mary II, it’s kind of like the Love Boat except there’s no Doc, Isaac or Gopher. BUT, there are a handful of Caribbean steel drum players, so you know, it’s all good).

Secondly, I would like to warn you that this review might not be as pinpoint as my last ones due to the incalculable amount of gin I’ve amassed in my system, each drop of it like a bullet to my nervous system.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to the David shenanigans, shall we?

This episode was a doozy, and it hurts my head just thinking of everything that happened, although, that could still be the gin residue; I’m not quite sure.

1. Larry and Jeff meet up with an inventor (unfortunately, it’s not the Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Imporium type), who has come up with the idea of installing a periscope into a car. Insert submarine type jokes here. The boys are lukewarm about the whole idea until they meet Ira’s (Mr. Inventor) dearly beloved. Let’s just say that Shorty wouldn’t win America’s Next Top Model or America’s Next Slightly Below Average Model either. A relatively handsome man married to a curly-haired over-weight urchin? That man MUST have integrity! LD and Jeff are sold! As for the periscope, the boys take it out for a “test run” around the streets of New York and find the whole endeavor to be ingenious. Even Susie thinks it’s a good idea. Larry and Susie agreeing on something? And we thought stranger things couldn’t happen. The whole scene where Larry and Jeff chase the one-armed man? I got a little “flash” into Chuck and Morgan’s future if they were spies sans the intersect. See what I did there? Flash? God, I need a day job.

2. Oh hey, is that 30 Rock’s Cheyenne Jackson playing Larry’s trainer? I think it is! Hello Cheyenne! What? Wanda Sykes pays you more than LD? He can’t be your 2 o’clock anymore? Good to know what you’ve been up to during summer hiatus! Bye!

3. LD goes to a dinner party at Henry’s, whose father is Judge Carter Horn from a courtroom TV show. Larry decides to go pay judge Horn a visit in his room, because it’s better to act on nice things than to just think of them. In his boudoir, the Judge is playing Scrabble with a one-armed man (the more I type this, the more I feel like I’m recounting a fable or a riddle). After an awkward, socially insensitive conversation about “wishing to have one arm when cuddling with a woman”, the one-armed man leaves Larry to play Scrabble with the old man. Not even two minutes in, the judge starts spewing out racial slurs. Who knew that Scrabble brought out racism in the elderly? Judge Carter Horn makes Archie Bunker look like Michael Stivic. Henry then walks in and sees that the Scrabble scores are completely impartial and blames LD of taking advantage of his dementia-ridden father. LD blames it on the one-armed man but to Henry, it’s like crying wolf – if the wolf was missing one paw.

4. In the end, LD, instead of spilling his popcorn in the bathroom, ends up spilling the beans about why he chose to invest with Ira. His wife, rightfully, then beats his shit up, thus turning Larry into a one-armed man due to the fact he has to wear a cast. In it’s usual Curb way, the last five minutes bring the adjacent storylines together to come full circle (like a compass, you see?) and LD is brought face to face with the one-armed Scrabble deserter who bumps into Judge Horn in order to get a taxi, leaving Horn on the ground saying the “one-armed man did it!” and Henry seeing Larry standing there, one-armed and all.

Babydoll’s by the way…
-How can you see Sting 2 and not see Sting? It’s like seeing American Graffiti 2 and not seeing American Graffiti? I’m fucking upset now y’all.

-The inventor Ira is Scott Cohen, you might remember him as hottie professor Max from Gilmore Girls or Detective Chris Ravell from Law & Order: Trial by Jury. Ok, ok, I IMDB’d him for Law & Order. I don’t want you to start feeling bad because I’ve got more TV knowledge than you and your friends put together.

-Skis that come in two parts that are put together like pool cubes? I’m a skier and I never thought of that. Then again, I’ve never had a death wish either, so…

-Susie’s outfit at the dinner party – Foxwoods in August had a sale and Susie just had to get herself a pair of the circus pants that were 50% off.

Curb your political correctness…
-“I don’t like being told what to do” – “So that’s why you married Susie?” BURN!

-“This looks like an 8th grade science experiment”.

-“I always think of nice things but I never act on them”.


05 September, 2011

Anthrax - Worship Music: A review?

Anthrax has finally released a new album and it is kind of awesome, mixed in with some OK stuff.

Here are my very quick takes on each song. I will grade them on a 5 point system. 0 being fuckin' bullshit that should have been deleted like the song St. Anger by Metallica, and 5 being the best shit I have heard in a while.

1. Worship - It's an intro thingy. No grade
2. Earth On Hell - Badass shit. Kicks my fuckin' ass. 5
3. The Devil You Know - Sounds like it could have been on Sound of White Noise. 3
4. Fight 'Em 'Til You Can't - I dig this one a lot. Very NYC thrashy. 4
5. I'm Alive - It is a bit too... poppy for me but I like it. 3
6. Hymn 1 - Intro thingy. No grade
7. In the End - Same issue was with I'm Alive. 3
8. The Giant - Now this is good fuckin' NYC thrash but with a really commercial chorus that I could see some people raging against but I actually love. 5
9. Hymn 2 - Intro. No grade
10. Judas Priest - Killer song. I can see why they named it this. I will be returning to this one a lot. 5
11. Crawl - This one kind of feels like it is meant for pop radio or VH1. I am bored. 2
12. The Constant - I like it but it is another one of those songs that could have been on Sound of White Noise. Doesn't feel like a Joey song at all. 3
13. Revolutions Scream - A good way to close out the album. Not the best song but definitely one of the better ones. Has enough thrash and vocal melody to earn many future listens. 5

Overall grade 4 out of 5

Favorite song after initial listen: Earth On Hell with Judas Priest a close second.

Final Words: Worship Music is the best Anthrax album since the 80s. It could have been an epic thrash album if not for some of these non-Joey hold-hovers that bring the album down a level or two throughout. Still, this fucker is awesome overall and you should buy one for every thrash head in your universe.