30 August, 2011

George Lucas Finally Rights a Wrong! Vader's "Noooo"

As you can all see in the video below, George Lucas has made an AWESOME change to the original trilogy (yet again), that actually makes the movie soooooo much better.

What is the addition? Check this out! When, at the end of Return of the Jedi, Vader decides to save his son from the evil Emperor, he now says "No!" Not once, but fuckin' TWICE!

YES! This finally answers the question we have been debating about absolutely nowhere for 28 fuckin years! Did Vader mean to give the Emperor a hug of support that just went wrong or did he mean to kill him?!


Thank the gods for BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.


New Fall TV Show Death Pool

It's almost that time of the year again, when the networks roll out their new stable of shows. Basically, it's like throwing shit at the wall to see what will stick. The truth is most are already dead shows walking.

I thought I'd make it interesting and pick which newbies are the top five candidates to meet the axe. You know, become this year's Lone Star, Undercovers, Shit My Dad Says, or The Event. It's not a science, I'm just going with my gut. Well, unless the show is on NBC, where chances are it will automatically fail (I keed, I keed, NOT). So here goes, let's play reaper!

1. THE PLAYBOY CLUB (Mondays 10/9c NBC)
NBC's attempt at MAD MEN style period drama will most definitely crash and burn. It's already surrounded by controversy, and it has a tough time slot. It may have The Sing-Off as a lead in, but it will finish a distant third in it's time slot against Castle (ABC) and Hawaii-0 (CBS).
Prediction: The controversy and viewers' curiosity will give it decent premiere numbers but it will plummet quickly and get pulled before it's inital 13 episodes have all aired.

2. GRIMM (Fridays 9/8c NBC):
Out of the gate, the chips are stacked against it. Sure the premise might be interesting, a Grimm's Fairy Tales inspired cop show. But it's target audience is pretty much spoken for. It's going up against two established genre shows Fringe and Supernatural. Did I mention it's on NBC.
Prediction: 13 and out.

Another remake could lead to viewer fatigue. The hotness that is Minka Kelly will not be enough to save the show. It is in a very tough time slot up against "The Big Bang Theory" and "The X Factor" results show.
Prediction: Will get a back 9, get a time slot change but will not be able to fend off it's cancellation in May.

4. WHITNEY (Thursdays 9:30/8:30c NBC)
This year's Outsourced. It's being protected by The Office but that is not a gimme anymore. It is yet to be determined how well a Carell free Office will perform. That will determine how long it will stave off the reaper. Regardless, it's premise seems boring: a young couple relationship comedy. Been there done that.
Prediction: Possibly a back 9, but then it's off to never never land next spring.

5. PAN AM (Sundays 10/9 c ABC)
ABC's attempt to cash in on the MAD MEN craze. A period night time soap that MIGHT play well. It's time slot against Sunday Night Football (NBC) in the fall and established veteran CSI: Miami (CBS) will likely hurt it's chances of survival. But then I may be wrong.
Prediction: A full 22 episode season and buh bye.

If you're interested in the entire crop of new shows check out TV Guide's list here. Come back and let me know which ones you think will meet their early demise.


26 August, 2011

Wilfred - Doubt

In a world... where people... and dogs... and people... and dogs who look like people... on an island... where people are lost... DOUBT!

That would be my trailer for this episode.

But what happened? Watch it! Here are the top quotable moments:

Wilfred: Let me find you a nice hit-it-and-quit-it chick. (looking through Internet dating service profiles) Gross. Out of your league. Lazy eye. Balding Asian grandmother. Grooooosss. Oooh! Here we go. Angelique.
Ryan: Are you kidding?!
Wilfred: Are YOU kidding? Favorite music: all types. This chick must be like an expert in music.

Wilfred: You think your demons have vanished but that's a lie, mate.
Ryan: No offense but I think I know myself better than you do.
Wilfred: You're right. What do I know? I'm just your neighbor's dog who talks to you and doubles partner in Wii Tennis. You're totally fine.

Wilfred: Oooooooh! Red velvet. I think I'm gonna be a little bit naughty today.

Bruce: And then he convinced you to make out with your own father!
Ryan: What?! No.
Bruce: Yeah. No. I mean, me neither.

Angelique: Oh my god, some of the things that you wrote were so gross, I almost didn't come here on this date. But then I was like, gross is kind of hot, right? And all of that stuff about the post office. I don't really know what 'snout rape' means, but I hate my mailman too.

Ryan: Why the hell am I on a date with Angelique and not the girl I picked.
Wilfred: Angelique is an alcoholic blowjob machine. And you're welcome.

Wilfred: Violence is never the answer. As the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr once said... (punches Bruce in the face).

Bruce: You convinced me to make out with my own father!
Wilfred: Everyone at the party loved it! They thought it was edgy!


25 August, 2011

This site is a restriction free zone! NSFW!

This week I informed all of our writers that there are no more restrictions on what they can say. In other words, curse words, political grandstanding, whatever the fuck they want to say... it goes. Well, OK, so there is still the NO FUCKIN RACISM restriction. I am super lame like that. Otherwise, everything goes. So, if you are a youngin' or an easily offended adult, fuck off, please.

Curb Your Enthusiasm 8.07 - Hardball

In this week's Curb, we learn that NYC women are easy and that their relationships can be summed up with baseball metaphors. We also learn that there is a bow index (no relation to the BMI) and that Rosie O'Donnell can still hit a home run (remember A League Of Their Own?). But most importantly, Leon is back, and he's managed to fuck up the Prius, but it's OK, because "8 mother fuckers" can totally fit in there - hear that, Toyota?

1. We first run into LD at an art gallery opening (sooooooooo NY). However, instead of running into a Real Housewives of New York City cast member, he meets a charming woman named Jane Cohen (she's jewish, yay!) whom he hits it off with right away, meaning sarcasm and banter are involved. All seems to be honkey dory until he runs into Rosie O'Donnell who tells him she's met an amazing woman that made her feel things in places she thought had been dried up for years (that's what vaseline and sex toys are for babe). Slowly, LD and Rosie come to realize that they are talking about the same woman. What could have been a great opportunity for a ménage à trois just got complicated. Jane is a bisexual, and as Rosie so aptly puts it, "half the population isn't enough for them?" The two then dual for her affection and if you're me you can't help but think, OK they are famous and intelligent in their own right, but who the fuck would want to be in a position having to choose between Larry David and Rosie O'Donnell? It's like choosing between urining in a cup or having a tetanus shot. There are clearly hotter single comical celebrities to choose from.

2. LEON IS BACK IN THE MOTHER FUCKING PLACE, wife beater and doo-rag intact. There's not much more to say really except that he may have solved the war of the sexes by a baseball metaphor.

3. LD orders takeout from a japanese place for his date with Jane and the miso soup spills in the bag. It's no Fukushima, but Larry is annoyed and decides to go back to the restaurant to tell them about the mishap. Takeout places have two jobs to do according to Larry: get the order right and secure the food. The maître d' - flippant and dismissive, apologizes by saying "sorry" and bowing slowly and slightly. LD further learns that that bow is not an actual apology but a "shit bow" because a real bow is at a 90 degree angle in japanese culture (thank you japanese tourist in central park who speaks english fluently). LD goes back to the restaurant to tell the maître d' what the tourist had told him and tells him that he'll go online to see what the REAL apologetic bow is. Wikipedia has this to say : bows of apology tend to be deeper and last longer than other types of bow. They tend to occur with frequency during the apology, generally at about 45 degrees with the head lowered and lasting for at least the count of three, sometimes longer. The depth, frequency and duration of the bow increases with the sincerity of the apology and the severity of the offense. Well Larry, now you also have to be worried about frequency and duration. Thanks Curb for teaching me something I never really wanted to know.

4. LD runs into an acquaintance at the japanese place called Duckstein. The story is pretty simple: Duck wants to have lunch with Larry. Larry doesn't see the point because they aren't friends. Duck wants to be friends. Larry doesn't. This whole subplot wouldn't really have been all that interesting if it didn't solidify one of the "Curb" staples, which is LD taking an every day custom or social behavior and scrutinizing it for the total ludicracy of it.

5. LD wins over Jane by taking viagra and blowing her mind with his sexual prowess (take that Tony!). Jane then decides to dump Rosie (too bad RoRo, the gay cruise will be for the next chick). Jane takes LD to Cooperstown because straight women can also be into baseball, and asks him to bow when he steps on her shoe. LD, wishing to show off his newfound skills in the art of bowing, executes, dropping his little blue pill at the same time. LD, embarrassed, tells Jane : "everybody does it...I was just leveling out the playing field". I guess Rosie can start planning that cruise afterall .

Babydoll's by the way...
-Duckstein? Should we be looking into a jewish remake of Pretty in Pink?
-You can't compete against the Tony's? What about the Emmy's? The Oscars? I bet Jane also watches Glee and probably has a crush on both Sue Sylvester and Will Schuester.
- LD walking down Washington Square searching for viagra reminds me that men will fucking do anything to get laid.
- If only Susie had been in this episode so I can critique her outfit. Sigh.

Curb your political correctness...
-LD: "I was offended that I was invited".
-"Who the fuck is Tony?" (The Tiger? Hahahaha, OK that was fucking pathetic).
- Leon: "Bats and balls rule the fucking world. Gloves don't catch gloves".
- BEST LINE OF ALL TIME, RESERVED FOR PURE MOTHER FUCKING G'S : "I just had a croissant filled with mother fuckin' champagne'".


Fall Video Game Release Schedule

The fall video game season essentially begins next week with the release of Madden NFL 12 on Tuesday, August 30th. After that, gamers will suffer a continual onslaught of title releases all the way through to the holiday season.

Here's a breakdown of what's coming to take away your money and free time. Basically, pick your poison.

August 30th
Madden NFL 12 (Multiple platforms)

September 6th
Dead Island (Mulitple platforms)
Resistance 3 (Ps3)
Rise of Nightmares (Xbox 360/Kinect)

September 13th
The Gunstringer (Xbox 360/Kinect)
God of War: Origins Collection (PS3)
NHL 12 (Multiple platforms)

September 20th
Gears of War 3 (Xbox 360)
F1: 2011 (Multiple platforms)

September 27th
Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Classic Trilogy HD (PS3)
ICO & Shadow of Colossus Collection (PS3)
FIFA Soccer 12 (Multipe platforms)
X-Men Destiny (Multiple platforms)

October 4th
Dark Souls (Multiple platforms)
NBA2K12 (Multiple platforms)
Rage (Multiple platforms)

October 11th
Dead Rising 2: Off the Record (Multiple platforms)
Forza 4 (Xbox 360)

October 18th
Batman: Arkham City (Multiple platforms)
Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One (PS3)

October 25th
Battlefield 3 (Multiple platforms)

November 1st
Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception (PS3)

November 8th
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (Multiple platforms)
Metal Gear Solid HD Collection (Multiple platforms)

November 11th
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Multiple platforms)

November 15th
Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary (Xbox 360)
Assassin's Creed: Revelations (Multiple platforms)
Need for Speed: The Run (Multiple platforms)

November 20th
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii)

This schedule doesn't give a hardcore gamer any time to breathe. All this and I haven't even mentioned when Diablo III and Star Wars: The Old Republic (both for PC) will be dropping.

The only thing I am glad for is that I have a Gamefly account.

Did I miss anything? Which games are you jonesing for? Let me hear about it below.


21 August, 2011

Battle Royale & The Hunger Games

This article is about the books only!

First thing I should say is that I really enjoyed both books.

Now, I've heard a lot and read a lot from Battle Royale fans about The Hunger Games stealing the story of their beloved book. Yes, both are stories about horrible governments forcing its teenagers/youth to fight to the death every year until (usually) one winner is declared. The evil government then gives the winner some stuff, takes pictures of them and sends them on their way to live with the consequences of the game for the rest of their lives. (I'm going to refer to the fights to the death as 'games' for both books, even though in Battle Royale it's called the 'program'). Also, yes, both lead characters have love interests, and both books feature 3 main kid characters. But that's pretty much the end of the similarities. These may seem like a lot of shared story characteristics, but I'm pretty sure the ENTIRE idea of an arena game where people fight to the death was invented by a small tribe called the Romans a really long time ago. So that concept isn't really new, but the details are, and it's the details that matter. And the details are what make these two stories completely different.

The biggest differences when reading the books is that BR is told from the perspective of different students, depending on the chapter, kind of like Game of Thrones except not as rigid in it's execution. So Shuya may be the main character, but the novel delves into the thoughts, actions, and memories of almost all 42 students participating in the game. Also, Shuya is a boy, and the main character of HG is the girl, Katniss. The entirety of HG is told from Katniss's perspective. All the memories and flashbacks are hers, and the only action the reader gets to experience during the game is what she comes across.

Another major difference between these two stories is the psychology of how the actual game is played. In BR, the students who are forced to play have no idea they have been chosen until they wake up on the island where the game will take place. Their school bus was gassed, and they've been fitted with metal collars that function as tracking devices, microphones, and bombs, which allows the government to monitor their location and their plans, and to control their behavior by being able to blow their heads off. The students are told the rules, given a pack with some food and a weapon, and the game begins. These kids, some of whom are now carrying guns, have to face the idea of killing or being killed by classmates, people they have known for a while and sometimes for years. Most of them are consumed by fear and have no idea what to do.

In HG, a boy and a girl from each of the 12 districts in Panem (post-apocalyptic USA) are selected in a lottery. They are sent off to practice for a week or so, learn some new skills, observe the other participants, and then they are sent to the game site. These kids are ready to fight and have planned their strategies for winning. They are also constantly on camera and being watched, because the entire game is a reality TV show. So not only do they have to survive in the woods (no supplies are directly given to them—and NO guns) and survive being killed by some other kids who they don't really know, they also have to try and win the sympathies of the viewers at home. The more the audience likes them, the more likely they are to receive gifts to help them in their quest for survival. The way the government monitors and controls the game here is that besides the TV cameras, they have complete control of the 'natural' environment the games take place in, they can start a fire or a storm if they think it will 'improve' the game.

The stories also differ in the reasons the games exist in the first place. In BR, Japan is part of some Greater East Asian country run as a strict dictatorship. The games are not televised and no one knows what happens during them, only that it's a fight to the death and there is one winner. The government holds these games to promote fear. To frighten its people against coming together. The games tell the citizens that they can't trust each other. In HG the games are held to entertain their loyal population in the Capitol, and to remind the poor unfortunate people in the districts that the government controls them. Of course, in the HG series as a whole, this ends up backfiring and igniting a massive revolution...but that's kind of a spoiler I guess.

Basically, BR has the psychology of Lord of the Flies, and HG has the setting of it. What I mean is, BR is horribly violent and sometimes shocking where kids who used to be friends kill each other, but the addition of guns and an environment that is normally a civilized village, make it feel more like an urban street fight. HG doesn't have that level of savage behavior and brutality, but it does take place in an environment that requires it's participants to be survivalists, ie find ways to feed themselves and build shelter.

So, should Battle Royale fans and The Hunger Games fans shit on each other on the interwebs? No.
Should BR fans read The Hunger Games or go see the movie when it comes out? Only if they want to.
Should HG fans read or watch Battle Royale? Again, only if they want to.

After reading both books and noticing how different the stories are, it is obvious that people who like one story may not enjoy the other. But personally, I really really liked them both.

The lesson here is that I should read The Running Man.

Multipass reviews BATTLE ROYALE the movie.
Multipass reviews THE HUNGER GAMES the movie.



I got to check out the pilot episodes for NEW GIRL and TERRA NOVA. Here are my quick impressions.

NEW GIRL - Starring Zooey Deschanel and three dudes
I watched this one first just to get it out of the way and was shocked to find myself enjoying it a lot. I am not a fan of the lead actor (though, I have no problem with her at all) but found myself totally in love with her character. She is silly, quirky, nutty, loopy, geeky, and adorable! The guys who eventually play her roommates (SPOILER!) also work well. Sometimes you watch a cast in their pilot and realize their chemistry just isn't natural and that they will have to work on it. Most of those shows get cancelled. This one doesn't suffer from that problem. But is a network audience ready for this cute, geeky comedy? We shall see. The first episode has a lot of fun dialogue and I could see it fitting in well following GLEE.

TERRA NOVA - Starring 20 people
Is a network audience ready for a hokey sci-fantasy show about people living on prehistoric Earth? It certainly looks expensive and that makes me wonder just how long can they keep that production level going? I think people will stick with it purely out of fascination with the aesthetics. But once cost-cutting starts showing itself, will the stories hold people for long? I will at least check out part 2 to see if there is a payoff to the first half of the premiere. But I fear the focus on one family will drag it down to the point where people won't care for long.

Last thoughts: is Jason O’Mara's character supposed to be American? I can't tell. Though, the dude playing his son has the thickest Canadian accent this side of some hicky part of Alberta. Thankfully, Stephen Lang is awesome and makes up some for the horrendous accents. Granted, most Americans couldn't tell a good accent from a bad one so... oh and there is a visual effects moment near the end of episode 1 that I sure hope isn't final.


19 August, 2011

Wilfred - Compassion and Isolation

Last night's WILFRED blessed us with two awesome episodes in a row! So here are the most quotable moments from both:

WILFRED 1.09 - Compassion

Ryan: She couldn't handle the pressure. She was looking for a place to hide and crawled up the chimney. The fire department had to pry her out.
Wilfred: I had a similar situation with my penis and a vacuum hose. I had to cut the tube just to break free. I still jizzed but out of spite not pleasure.

Ryan: Is this wise? It's been 20-years. The world has changed! High def TV and... other things.
Doctor: Well she hasn't been in a coma! We have cable!

Wilfred (talking to a group of ducks): Fellas come here, I just wanna talk to you. I'm not gonna hurt yas. I'm not gonna hurt yas. (runs after them) I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Ryan: The doctor wants my mom to come stay with me.
Wilfred: And I assume you told him to blow you. We don't need that crazy old broad cramping our style!

Mom: You look like your father, minus the thin lips and the soulless eyes.

Mom: Indian chief! (makes noises and dances) That was a little racist but it was fun.
Wilfred: How was that racist? Indians do that all the time.

Wilfred (angry): What kind of animal are you?! You leave your own mom, in here?
Ryan: But you said...
Wilfred: She let a doctor stick his hands inside her uterus so you could live!

Wilfred: You know what this is? (holds his thumb and index finger slightly apart)
Ryan: Let me guess, the length of my dick?
Wilfred: No. It's the amount of compassion you've shown towards your mom. And the length of your dick. They happen to be equal in this case. It doesn't happen often but it's pretty cool when this shit lines up. Like an eclipse.

Wilfred: Did mom complain to you when you made a mess of her lady parts during child birth?

Ryan: You son of a bitch!
Wilfred: How is that an insult? I've never understood that.

Ryan: Eat shit! EAT SHIT!
Wilfred: Again, your tone says insult but what I'm hearing is a tempting offer.

Doctor: Well, you've made a lot of progress over the last three days and based on years of diagnostic experience and your lack of health insurance, it is my medical opinion that you are not a danger to yourself or to others and I'm releasing you.

WILFRED 1.10 - Isolation

Wilfred: Ryan, I'm gonna be straight with you. This isolating is becoming a problem. People are starting to think you're weird. 'It puts the lotion in the basket' weird.

Wilfred: There is one that dwells within our midst that is unworthy of that fellowship. An evil, parasitic maggot! Creature so vile, diarrhea holds its nose when he walks by.

Wilfred: BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! Hey, why am I the only one with a torch?

Wilfred: You got baked and blacked out, then cut your hand on a broken car window whilst committing a series of burglaries. Allegedly! We need to start saying that.
Ryan: I, I would never!
Wilfred: Never what? Shit in your neighbor's boot? Have sex with a stuffed giraffe in front of a small child? You'd be surprised what we're capable of once we put our mind to it.

Wilfred: Ryan, there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere. Bob and Shirley Reinhardt are about to Karaoke the tits off Summer Lovin'!

Wilfred: So long, Andy! Let's see your black magic save you from getting gang stomped in juvie.

Wilfred: You're right. You know what you should do? March on over to Mrs. Stevenson's house and tell her the truth. Your neighbor's dog masterminded multiple break-ins and planted evidence on her child.

Wilfred: Don't worry, Ryan. Trash Face is probably smiling down on us from heaven right now. Hell, I bet he just found a fresh vein in one of his angel wings.


16 August, 2011

Curb Your Enthusiasm 8.06 - Heroic Laces

Pink Berry should consider giving Larry David unlimited free soft-serve for his infallible skills in product placement. This week's episode picked up where we left off : Larry, a Pink Berry, and the pleasure that it clearly entails.

But enough about PB, what's going down in NYC?

1. Up in the air, LD is seated next to a beautiful woman (played by Samantha Mathis of "American Psycho" fame) and is trying to engage conversation. He even goes so far as pulling out the term 'encroachment - (leave it to LD to establish judicial jargon as a flirting mechanism). Unfortunately for him, she doesn't seem to be falling for his Ally McBealed attempt, and he decides to go use the bathroom. Always being one to take advantage of situational comedy, Larry is brought into action by his long shoelaces that he earlier remarked were too long. Tripping on them, he falls on a drunk passenger harassing the stewardess. Thus, the Curb domino begins. The whole plane believes him to be a hero, including Donna, the beautiful woman seated beside him. Susie however is not fooled - LD is no "hero", he's just a dude with really long shoelaces.

2. In NY, Larry and Jeff have lunch (different city, same dealio) and some douche bag waitor with super-sonic hearing capabilities (think dolphin) overhears the two men talking about getting Gervais a bottle of wine. Doucheboy gets Gervais a $300 of vino and doesn't bother to bring over their food. "You're my hero" Jeff says to LD if he goes up to the kitchen counter to get the food. LD, hero to all customers who have been stood up by douchie waitors, goes up to get their meals.

3. LD and Gervais finally meet at a dinner hosted by Susie and Jeff. LD is there with Donna but is seated with Chris Parnell at the end of the table, with whom he is clearly bored (he would have enjoyed it better if it had been Dr. Spaceman). LD, fed up with the whole "cool table" vibe going on at the other end makes a scene. Parnell trips and pours wine all over Gervais' "frenchy-intellectual" scarf that costs $500.

4. The next day - Larry, Susie, and Jeff go to Gervais' show, Mr. Simmington. Larry arriving at the box office gets the unpleasant surprise of having to pay for the ticket, assuming that it would be a gift from Ricky. During the whole show, he and Susie bicker over the seating, bothering Gervais' performance.

5. Thanks to doucheboy waitor, Gervais discovers that it was Larry and Jeff talking throughout his play, ruining all of Jeff's chances of signing Gervais. LD is equally p'd off when he learns that Gervais has been seeing Donna. LD however gets the last laugh when he follow them on the train and sees them being harassed and mugged by a thug. LD, king of situational comedy, takes the same stale baguette he brought to Susie's dinner to beat the thug down - only to get his shoelace stuck in the sliding doors of the train. Ya win some, ya lose some, whatcha gonna do, eh?

Babydoll's "by the way"...
-Let's just say what we've all been thinking since the end of this episode : Susie's upgrade to full-time cast member was clearly the right decision. If I can't get any Leon for the next few episodes, I'm going to need an increase on the Susie - if only for the pure creative pleasure of reviewing her outfits. Her tunic at the dinner party? Looks like something Bette Midler would wear in her dressing room during the filming of Beaches. Her fannypack and turquoise get-up at the theater? Carrie Bradshaw wishes she had worn it on her trip to Atlantic City.

-Ricky Gervais : honestly, dude, are you Johnny Cash? If not, then there is no reason for you to only wear black. Oh you're English, so you can? Sorry buddy, but I think Simon Cowell would beg to differ. And the scarf? Wear a turtleneck. You're English, you're not supposed to try to look French. Oh and Mr. Simmington? Could you BE in anything that sounds more British? Sorry, I needed to have a Chandler Bing moment.

-Glad to see that LD and RG are back together again.

-LD is to Sully Sullenberger what Dane Cook is to Louis C.K.

Curb your political correctness...
-Woman on plane: "First Class so you get to do whatever you want to do. You're not acting 'coachy but first classy". This schism is quite a socio-economical dilemma, I agree.

-"I don't really know how to write cursive anymore".

-"I'm trying to elevate small talk to medium talk".

-Gervais on Oklahoma : "frivolous nonesense for the moronic classes". Sounds to me like how the English describe everything the Americans love ;)


13 August, 2011

FRINGE Spoiler: Pacey Poof

A source of mine from the old CHUCK days (so... 3 months ago), has come across a pretty huge spoiler about another WB geek show that loves living on the bubble of renewal or cancellation.

At the end of season 3 of FRINGE, Pacey Poof, aka Peter Bishop, was apparently erased from history. Or that is what the Observers standing outside of the Liberty Island location said. However, this source says that isn't accurate.

Peter existed until he died as a child from the sickness the show revealed in season 2. And while this may be a spoiler on its own, what the source said next is the juicier bit.

"To all these characters, an adult Peter never existed and so they are going through their lives without him having been in it. Or so the audience is meant to believe. See, when Peter departed the world he left behind a trigger of sorts. This trigger will start the ball rolling as the characters begin to realize that something isn't right."

So what do you think it means? How will Walter and Olivia get Peter back? And what is this "trigger"? Discuss! If this generates enough interest, maybe this source will feed the spoiler beast some more.


12 August, 2011

Wilfred - Anger

God's gift to humanity, in the form of a man-dog, had another fun episode with loads of quotable lines. Let's relive the greatness that was dialogue in WILFRED 1.08 that we will remember for eternity:

Wilfred: Ryan, remember when I told you a few weeks ago that you are a total pussy? Well, I just want to apologize for not emphasizing that enough.

Wilfred: Ryan, anger is like herpes. You're not meant to keep it to yourself.

Wilfred: No one hates me. I'm Wilfred. I'm adorable. Look at these eyes. The smile. I once cracked a Nazi skinhead in the face with a beer bottle and you know what he did to me? Belly rub.

Wilfred: I don't want my breath smelling like balls.

Wilfred: Kristin, shall I compare thee to a sunset? Morning dew? Flowers? Blahblahblah, some other beautiful shit? Point is, you look good.

Ryan: She didn't treat you that well either. Which was surprising. 'Cause I thought everyone loves Wilfred.
Wilfred: Everyone does, except her because she's not human. Cold black heart. Dead eyes. Nice tits.

Wilfred: Sneakers is no one, huh? Do you usually buy priceless jewelry for no one? Imitation colored glass. Plastic painted to look like metal. This isn't some cheap made-in-China knockoff. This is made-in-Taiwan! You bastard. Keeping another dog on the side, are you?
Ryan: Sneakers was my dog 20-years ago.
Wilfred: 20-years, 20-minutes, makes no difference to me, Ryan. You know I have no concept of time.

Wilfred: Snuggled up against you, licking your ear? What, in the same bed? Where did you meet this budgie smuggler? At a Maroon 5 concert?

Wilfred: Alright, I've been thinking it over and I know what happened last night. After I went to sleep, you somehow managed to get some sort of homo chip planted in my brain!

Wilfred (possessed}: That man is not the real Magic Johnson. I died in 1992. That guy looks nothing like me.


09 August, 2011

Curb Your Enthusiasm 8.05 - Pink Berry

Start spreading the news! I'm leaving today! Wait, no I'm leaving Saturday - actually, scrap that - I'm leaving in a couple of weeks for 6 weeks. Yep, it's here folks, the moment we've all been waiting for : WE FINALLY KNOW HOW/WHY LARRY IS GOING TO NEW YORK CITY! Now, here's to hoping that he sends for Leon or that Leon miraculously appears at his apartment bearing chinese food and a large soda.

So, let's get to it: what really happened with Larry this week?

1. The title of this week's episode is "The Vow of Silence" because - SHOCKER - someone (Vance) decided to take a vow of silence after recommendation from his spiritual advisor. First the Funk Man now this dude? What is it with all the spiritual awakening in Larry's entourage? Are they sad middle-aged women who only swear by Oprah and The Secret? Anyway, Vance ends up the catalyst in every storyline: he sees Larry eating the Pink Berry destined for Oscar, Susie's dead dog (RIP Oscar). He "mouthes" the truth to her - only to be threatened/lectured by Larry on tattling. Finally, he lets it all out when Larry leaves him a NSFW message on his car due to his "two-line" parking job. It wouldn't be Curb if LD didn't piss someone off thus propelling the domino effect.

2. Jeff and Susie are moving to NYC because Sammy has been accepted to the Julliard Summer Program (where all kids f**ked up by their psycho-smothering mothers go). They throw a party for their own going away (of course they do). LD spends the whole party trying to avoid Tessler (what up David St. Hubbins?) who wants to sign him up to do something for his do-good association that has something to do with the children? Anyway, Larry wants to get out of it and says he'll be in NYC when the event is held. Like any upstanding citizen, he lied. Too bad his lie backfired and ended up really sending him to New York.

3. The Chat and Cut - thank you LD for putting a name on an all too common tendency with people all over. Waiting in line sucks, everyone knows it. You've got to stay within the line - whether you're at Pink Berry or on a parking lot with your vehicle.

Babydoll's by the way...
-Susie's first outfit? The leopard print and the gold flower croissage? If Susie ever needs a job, she should just work on every single 80s remake Hollywood decides to revamp. Romy and Michele's 2nd High School Reunion anybody? She and Michael McKean could talk about making a feature film about Journey.

-Sightings: Hello Rich Sommer from Mad Men! Oh Harry Crane how I've missed you! If you weren't on Funny or Die talking about Sexual Positions or on my The Office reruns, the return for Mad Men would be harder than it actually is (fyi: impossible, I feel like crying). Oh and HEY Brett Gelman from The Other Guys fame and Funny Or Die (Mr. Celebrity). The Curb casting agents sure love their Mad Men and Funny or Die shorts!

-How much would you pay to go see Eat, Pray, Love? Stop advertizing the f**king film. Seriously, talking about how much you hate the idea of it is still talking about it. I haven't seen it - but talking about hating it doesn't make you more of a man. It just makes you look like a douche who talks about chick flicks.

-How MUCH do vets make? Are there different rates per animal? Size? Operation? Do they have their own union? Why aren't there TV shows about their sex lives?

-A shiva for a dog? OK, I'll go with it - but how long is it supposed to last? Until the next full moon?

-LD not being able to decide what he wants for lunch - only someone who really loves food can relate. I would have gone with mexican though. Just sayin'.

-Tessler once did a Silver Spoons in less than 48 hours? WHY WOULD YOU EVER OVER WORK A BABY RICK SCHRODER!!!??? AND A BABY JASON BATEMAN??

Curb your political correctness...
-"Like a married relationship?"
-"Korean holiday! Tet day" - Great Larry, except it's Vietnamese. But would Susie know that? Eh, probably not.
-"What do you mean you went on a helicopter ride?" LOL Jeff, LOL.


Fan Road Map to Saving TV Shows

With the recent news that SyFy has cancelled EUREKA after its fifth season, and that NBC has done the same to CHUCK, fans are in an uproar over the loss of their favorite shows. Well, I have come up with the best ideas ever for how fans can save the shows they love and people need to put these into action NOW!  So please spread the word, this is the ONLY WAY you can SAVE [Insert Show Here]!  Fans can do anything if they put their mind and effort into it (not really but delusion is the new black dress of modern-day fandoms).

These guys and gals make decisions to renew or cancel shows.  The least you can do is stalk one of them and then pull them into your van when they least expect it and chloroform them unconscious!  Then, have them call their bosses using a burner cell phone (don't be stupid and use your own or theirs, the FBI will trace it in seconds) demanding that your show be renewed or you start making them watch DANCING WITH THE STARS (I hear they use this method to torture Gitmo detainees).

Now, I know you are going to ask: "But wouldn't it work to our disadvantage to kidnap someone? It sounds like this wouldn't work at all. It would just make us look like horrible people and total idiots."

Of course it won't work!  Which is exactly why you should do it!  The more unlikely something is to work, the more likely fans are to adopt it and pretend it makes a difference.  Why would anyone do something that works?  Stuff that works takes real effort.  Stuff that doesn't work only takes a few clicks on the Internet.

This one may take some extra special work but... we all know the aliens are mounting up for the invasion on our home world and it is important that everyone be ready for it.  While it is paramount to vanquish the invaders, one shouldn't lose sight of the big picture.  SAVING [INSERT SHOW HERE]!  So, get your webcam rolling as you capture an invading rat eating lizard in pasty skin and then probe his (or her, lets not get sexist here) sensitive areas with a cattle-prod.  Make sure to dress the godless satanist in your favorite show gear and to quote your favorite episode as you beat its squishy skull in with a baseball bat you named after a character on the show you love.  Then post the video to YouTube and let the partner dollars roll in... along with a new season of [Insert Show Here] and perhaps a medal of freedom or some crap.

This one is even easier.  Just pick up the phone and dial any random number of digits until the phone rings and someone picks up.  Do this until you have spoken to every Nielsen member in the country.  Convince them to watch the show you love.  Otherwise it is kind of a dumber idea than it rightfully sounds.

This one is probably easier than dialing every number in the phone book looking for members of a ratings collection agency whose sampling is around 1% of the country.  Play some big time lottery.  Use the quick pick option.  Buy just one ticket.  Win.  Now, take the lump-sum payout option.  You will likely need to win around $300 million so you may need to repeat this a couple of times.  Now, buy the show from the studio and make 10 more seasons.

Raise $50,000 via PayPal donations and then buy a mass email spam list.  Now, send 100 million people an email asking them to watch the show you love!  Seriously, why am I the first one to think of that one?  I can't believe you numbnuts wasted your time on flash mobs and cold dialing for Nielsen families and spamming advertisers when this goldmine of an epic idea was just chillin' like a villain in my brain.

Mission accomplished!  Unfortunately, I came up with the idea a while ago but was sworn to secrecy.  I probably shouldn't be talking about it. OPSEC!

Contact me via email, girls.  Ummm... I hope this didn't just get creepy.

I blame the lack of sleep plus eight cups of coffee and a Snickers.... plus, I am male.

Go here and start ordering.  Get people into the show over the next few months and they will tune in.  This will bring in more viewers and increase ratings resulting in the network ordering more episodes and seasons.  I know, this is the nuttiest idea of them all but you have to understand that I am desperate and delusional enough to believe this crazy method might just work.

Grab something solid and just beat yourself upside the cranium for a few minutes.  Now, once your eyes are almost able to focus, start typing whatever random things pop into your bramaged dain! Email it to that fan on Twitter with five followers and have him create a fan campaign page for the idea(s).  Now, spam everyone who works on the show to retweet this campaign idea until it gets noticed by a well known blogger on a slow news day.  Now, just watch the snowball effect of your idea becoming reality as no one sane actually does it, but a few nutjobs who read it after having it retweeted by someone working on the show who just wants to be helpful and positive, actually run with it.  When the show is suddenly picked up for more episodes or renewed due to some financial deal between the studio and network, CLAIM CREDIT for having made it happen.  Then, utilize the kindness of those working on the show and have them retweet you claiming credit until it is restated enough times that it just becomes a reality (you know, like when Michael Jackson called himself the "King of Pop" until people, having read it enough times in his press releases, just started calling him that... repetition is an amazing manipulation tool).

What are you waiting for?  GET OUT THERE AND SAVE YOUR SHOW!


07 August, 2011

THE HOBBIT - Production Videos by Peter Jackson (1-3)

I talked about it this on the podcast recently and figured I should post it here so that those who didn't know where to find the videos could enjoy them easily.

Below are the first three production videos from director/writer Peter Jackson. There are of course some spoilers in there but nothing huge unless you want to know nothing. In that case, do not go beyond this point.

Otherwise, ENJOY!

If you want HD, you'll need to click the HD link in the video and go to Facebook and choose to view it in high quality.

THE HOBBIT, Production Video #1

THE HOBBIT, Production Video #2

THE HOBBIT, Production Video #3


05 August, 2011

Wilfred - the Bunny Hole

The latest episode of WILFRED, the greatest show on Earth, may not have been as quotable or as dynamically funny as last week's, but it made up for that in shock and sexualized awe!

The story? Does it even matter? Ryan crashes into a car because Wilfred is bored with banging away at ol' bear. And the rest is quoteaholic anonymous:

Ryan: No! It's a semen drenched teddy-bear!

Wilfred (slapping Ryan across the face): Jobs are for immigrants!

Ryan: And I was winning until you punched me, grabbed the money, and tipped over the table and ran.
Wilfred: I keeps it gangsta, Ryan. You knew that about me before we set up the board.

Wilfred: She's your sister. mate. She loves you. Bleed the bitch dry.

Ryan: All you care about is humping that little kid's giraffe.
Wilfred: Why, Ryan... what a villain you paint me as. It's elementary. Beth gets serviced. The debt gets wiped. And the giraffe gets a proper buggering.

Wilfred: Hey! Do you mind? We're having a conversation here, you adorable little piece of shit!

Ryan: Wait! Wait! Tyler hasn't had his dessert yet.
Beth: He doesn't need any dessert, look at his tits.

Wilfred: Finally. I thought that precocious little beaver damn would never break.

Wilfred: As you wish, Ryan. We'll just stay in and play Monopoly again. Or Battleship.
Ryan: You cheat at that too.
Wilfred: Battleships change locations in the middle of a war, Ryan! It's what they were designed to do!

Beth: That's nice but that's not what you did last night.
Ryan: What do you mean?
Beth (baby voice): Wight Bunny. Wong hole.


04 August, 2011

Curb 8.04 I'm sorry your dad died :)

Writer: Babydoll

Last week's masterpiece was followed up by this week's "meh" episode- by that I mean that there were no true ROFLOLMAO moments, nor were there lines that will go down in the history of television. There was on the other hand, a slew of LDisms (annoyance with smiley faces, the sorry window) and Harry Hamlin starring in a role other than Mr. Lisa Rinna (aka duck lips).

So let's see what went down this week on Curb Your Enthusiasm, shall we?

1. Larry starts dating the head hostess of a restaurant he enjoys going to. Jeff warns him to not shit where he eats - which leads the men to engage in grammatical bantar based on the word "shit". The premise is a bit weak - considering the fact that Larry doesn't see his relationship with this woman going anywhere. If he had gone to Leon before mackin' and yappin' with this broad, he'd still be eating at "Fraîche". Although, who wants to eat at a restaurant that just takes the word fresh and translates it into French? You're better off at Al Abbas Chicken, LD. You're better off.

2. Harry Hamlin shows up as the new guy in the building - he goes by the name "Dog" (of course he does) and does a show about sharks (of course he does...isn't Shark Week starting this week?). Dog asks for a cabinet and ends up taking hold of the entire kitchen, leaving LD's Kashi homeless. Sad times.

3. LD spends the whole episode complaining about smiley faces and how pointless they are. He's not buying the whole emoticon fad - finding it absurd, just like having to say sorry 2 years after someone's loved one has passed away. As per usual Larry has his own take on what social customs are indispensable and which ones are just pointless. LD's lack of "tact" on the whole death issue comes back to bite him though, as he finds himself stuck with a smiley face sun burn on his forehead at his assistant's fathers' funeral. The whole scenario is comical due to the irony of it all, but in a greek comedy kind of way. In my opinion, LD's "WTF this is hilarious!" moment in this whole episode wasn't revealed through his words but his actions. His face at the funeral when he sees Richard and Dr. Sorkin talking and his "swift moves" to exit the church? Insert Benny Hill theme here, please.

4. LD is lost without his assistant and finds her father's lack of responsiveness to a quick and efficient death to be quite annoying. Of course he does.

Babydoll's by the ways...

-Hamlin's appearance is douchie yet charming - the salt and pepper hair makes him look less soap-opera-y and more Entourage-y. On another note, his name is Dog and he handles Shark docu-shows. Were the writers going on an A&E and Discovery binge? A "reality show" binge?
-Speaking of Dog : never trust someone who laminates everything. Those people who spend hours at Staples looking at laminators? Psycho-anal retentives. Get the f**k away from those people as quick as possible because they will go through your shit in the fridge and laminate your milk with your name on it while you sleep.
-Susie's entrance at the end of the episode? Did she just come from a Whitesnake concert?
-That married couple that want LD and Jeff to come to dinner? The dude is from Mad Men and the chick plays a witch on True Blood. Didn't even need to IMDB the episode for that. Yes, I'm that good.
-LD eats Kashi? I don't know how I feel about that. It is a sad excuse for cereal but at that age it is important to stay healthy, so I guess it's a wash.

Curb your political correctness...

-"I have to masturbate before I come, it's a whole to-do"
-"NYT headlines : Unemployment drops :)"


ALPHAS - Best Geek Show of the Summer?

Writer: Head Geek Furious

Only four episodes into this series and I am more impressed than I expected. ALPHAS, the SyFy network's merging of FRINGE and HEROES, seems to have a mostly winning formula of actors, characters, and mission-of-the-week stuff mixed into a quasi-serialized storyline. Here are my bullet points for why I will keep watching and also why I could stop:
  • The different powers of the good-guy Alphas work well together and lend to a believable series of episodes where certain strengths are utilized. Sure, the stories are written so that powers have a convenient fit, but it works since the team was put together as a compliment of abilities. That helps a lot with suspension of disbelief, something HEROES suffered from a great deal as the show went on and powers had to be gained and stripped away depending on the opponent or situation.
  • The show looks like they are spending network money on it. I don't know if that will be sustained throughout the entire season, but for now it doesn't look cable-cheap.
  • There is an atmosphere of doom in much of the show that reminds me of early BSG episodes. It adds weight to the fear, confusion, and lack of confidence the team has, and also makes situations of loss feel more important than they might if the show was more upbeat.
  • It takes itself seriously. It isn't trying to sell the audience on some comic book super power series. It is much like early FRINGE in the way it deals with story lines, including having an eccentric and socially inept member of the team who acts as something of the comedic relief (though, he is no Walter Bishop). However, unlike early FRINGE, this show seems to know what it is and where it wants to go.
  • It is 5.7 times better than FALLING SKIES.
There are of course flaws:
  • The individual arcs of the characters start off lacking punch.
  • Not all the main actors stand out in the crowd.  HEROES was much better about clearly defining characters and making you want to see more of their abilities.
  • The mission-of-the-week stuff could easily become tiresome if it isn't somehow tied to forwarding the serialized elements of the show.  I mean, how many times can writers borrow plot points from X-FILES before it stops being fun?
  • The show needs its big villain around.
Overall, after watching four episodes, I recommend checking it out.  It isn't going to replace any show you love, or loved, but it has potential and is worth recording on your DVR.  Give it a chance to grow and if it doesn't work for you, then the delete button is always nearby.


01 August, 2011

Star Wars XBOX 360 Bundle: You want this, don't you...

Microsoft announced the XBOX 360 Limited Edition Kinect Star Wars Bundle at last month's Comic Con, and at first view it looks like a winner. But there are a few things to consider before declaring that the Force is strong with this one.

At $449, this is a great value for what is an all inclusive Xbox 360 starter kit. For $50 more than a 250GB Elite w/Kinect Bundle you get an extra game (Star Wars Kinect) plus a larger hard drive (320 GB).

The R2-D2 themed Xbox 360 console is pretty sweet looking. The addition of the custom sounds is like a cherry on top of hot fudge sundae. The same can be said about the C-3PO custom themed wireless controller. My only ding on the controller is that I wish it was the newer one with the transforming D-pad. The white paint job on the Kinect sensor is just that.

The aforementioned 320 GB hard drive the largest available on any 360, is a nice addition. Considering that Microsoft has started including 320 GB hard drives with their limited edition bundles (i.e. Gears of War 3 bundle), I think it's only a matter of time, before it replaces the current 250 GB hard drives in all their Elite consoles.

Here's where it gets tricky. Kinect Adventures is essentially an introductory vehicle for people to get into using the Kinect sensor. Is it fun? It's okay. It's been on the market for almost a year and judging by how many used copies of it I've seen in my local GameStop, I'd say it's not a game that gets dusted off and played very often. For my money, Microsoft should have packed in Kinect Sports.

Which brings us to Star Wars Kinect. Gamers have been salivating to get their Jedi on since this was first demoed last year. The whole bundle is themed around this game so there's pressure for it to deliver the goods.

Judging from the above footage, it doesn't bode well. Sure, I could nitpick about the prequel setting or the fact that it's an on-rails game but those issues aren't what's important. The interactive gaming experience is the true selling point. Gamers want to feel like they are swinging a lightsaber and using the Force, not auditioning for "A Chorus Line".

Do I consider this to be a deal breaker for the entire bundle? No, the hardware alone is a no brainer. The software is a disappointment from a hardcore gamer point of view. But kids'll eat this up.

So for those of you that don't have a 360 this is a sweet deal come this holiday season. I'd say be prepared to be underwhelmed with the packed in games. For those who already own a 360 and or Kinect, is it worth the upgrade? Well that depends on your love of Star Wars and jazz hands.


Geek Furious Podcast #2 - EXCLUSIVE!

In this episode of our epic podcast, Siskj and the Head Geek Furious talk about Chuck, Fringe, Falling Skies, Alphas, Harry Potter, Captain America, X-Men, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and much, much more. Also, some super duper insider exclusives are discussed including some Chuck and Fringe spoilers. We also talk about things we probably shouldn't have talked about relating to dangerously insidery info we have on your favorite actors.

We also discuss NerdHQ's superiority over SDCC and some of the issues related to that.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking on the player here (ADULT LANGUAGE):

Music used:
Sepultura - Desperate Cry
Fear Factory - Descent


Wonder Woman Pilot: Tit Marketing

Writer: Multipass

Wonder Woman gets upset when you don't ask permission to market her tits!

I got my hands on the "Wonder Woman" unaired pilot episode last week. The show was planning on being picked up by NBC in the fall, and they supposedly spent millions and millions of dollars on it. They even shut down the massively busy intersection at Hollywood and Highland in downtown Hollywood to shoot an action sequence. But despite all that, NBC definitely made the right decision not to pick this show up for the fall season.

The entire episode has this strange feeling to it. The only way to describe it is that I felt like I had taken two benadryl before I watched it. And I didn't understand most of the decisions that were made concerning the structure of the story. Wonder Woman is the public superhero persona of Diana Greeklastname. Diana Greeksomething is basically a poor man's Tony Stark. She has maybe half his charisma and almost none of his sense of humor. Like Stark/Ironman, she is a bazillionaire who owns a corporation, and everyone knows she is Wonder Woman. But the writers also give Diana GreekyGreek another alias, as Diana Prince, a lonely boring girl with no friends only a cat, who wears glasses and her hair in a ponytail. This ENTIRE alter ego is to show us that she is secretly sad and lonely.

Um okay, not sure why she needs this alter ego, considering she has friends and had a relationship as Diana Greekopolis, and her ex knew and knows she is a hero...so what is the issue? Oh right, the issue with them is she is afraid that he will get hurt by being close to her. She and Smallville should have a mopey idiot contest. (He would win)

Our first introduction to Wonder Woman is pretty lame. The chase wasn't that exciting, she looks like a girl in a costume running down Hollywood Blvd. After she catches the baddie, we find out Wonder Woman apparently works kind of with the government and police, but not really, or something. I really wasn't clear about how that dynamic worked, but they seemed to refer to it a lot. I also didn't understand why Wonder Woman was running around breaking people's arms, syringing them in the neck, and killing them. I mean...Wonder Woman isn't some dark tortured hero...she's a Justice League member! I really don't think Superman and the gang would be cool with this, and I'm not either. Basically she gets away with murder as long as everything works out. That's not very superhero-y.

I had a few doubts about the casting. The actress who played Wonder Woman/Diana Greekanakis/Diana Prince seems to have some SERIOUS trouble looking angry. But she did look wonderful in the starry underoos, which work SO MUCH BETTER than those dumb pants. I did enjoy seeing Cary Elwes because...well who doesn't? I also thought Elizabeth Hurley did a wonderful job with a very weak villain. The villain story wasn't very compelling, but she really chewed up the scenery and was really the only actor who seemed to be enjoying herself.

I think what NBC should have pushed for, right from the beginning, was a lot more tongue and cheek humor, a lot more ass kicking, and a much clearer story. The pilot just didn't feel like the show was going anywhere new. Too bad WB shelved their potential Wonder Woman feature for this project, and now have nothing to show us of one of DC Comics' most recognizable heroes.