03 November, 2013

Eli's Weekly Spew - Too Much TV

Breaking news: I'm a loser and watch a lot of TV (real people scare me). If you're reading this, you might be just like me -- except probably not as much of a loser.

My once-per-week 'White Collar' reviews just aren't enough, so in this weekly column I will briefly discuss every show I watched during the week. I currently watch over 15 shows per week, so there's a good chance at least one of your favorite shows will be talked about here.

Two caveats: This first column is extra-long, because I wanted to introduce why I liked each of these shows before I got into this week's specific episode. That is just a one-time thing, so next week will be much shorter and will only include that week's thoughts. Also, the list of shows is subject to change, because every once in a while I either quit a show or fall behind in a show. This week, as you'll soon discover, I have decided to quit one show and have fallen behind on another.

Let's begin...



General Thoughts of the Show - I think we can all agree that Season 1 was every adjective that you see used to promote block-buster movies. My favorite? Spell-binding. That season was special and we all knew as soon as Brody didn't blow himself up that the show would never be the same. It's a shame.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - Every so often this show displays glimmers of hope, but it's too inconsistent and too often squandered. If I have to see one more scene of Carrie disposing of her meds down a drain or down a toilet I'm going to become very unstable myself.

At this point all I care about is anything involving Saul and Quinn (and sometimes Carrie, as I did this week), and as I once cared about Dana Brody (probably because I think highly of Morgan Saylor), it's become abundantly clear that this show does not NOT know what to do with her character.

Saul's speech was fantastic. And OF COURSE Dana walks into the gas station right when that news report is shown on TV. Never fails.


General Thoughts of the Show - From the beginning you could tell that this show was interesting and had potential to be something special. I think just about everyone would have to agree that the subject matter is fascinating and any show based on real-life events makes me want to watch and learn more. With Lizzy Caplan on board, I would have watched the show whether it was about this intriguing time in history or if it was about people reading phonebooks.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - After tonight's episode, I'm hooked. It's not just my love of Lizzy Caplan and it's not just the great dialogue. The acting is superb and powerful and this show just went from interesting to gripping. I can't wait for next week's episode and there aren't many shows that I feel that way about. Normally I can't tell if a show has good acting -- bad acting is much more obvious, but it is clear that Caplan, Michael Sheen & company continue to turn in wonderful performances.

"Why won't my dick work, FUCK!"



General Thoughts of the Show - I reviewed this show on the site for a while, so you know I love it. Now that its five seasons in, the novelty of the show has worn off a little. It's still 40 minutes of mostly fun (with occasional drama/emotion mixed in) whether or not the case-of-the-week is any good or not. Normally I can't stand when shows prolong the will-they-won't-they aspect, but I think this show was more enjoyable prior to them getting together. They've done a pretty good job with them as a couple, though.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode Loyal 'Castle' review reader Mary Ploppins (sorry I don't review it anymore, Mary!) has a theory about how the first person interviewed/interrogated/brought in by Beckett & Co. is usually the murderer. Once again, it held true this week. I was all excited that we finally got a treasure hunt episode, but it wasn't as exciting as I was hoping for -- it took half the show to even get to that aspect of it. On a side note, I'm always happy when they give more for Molly C. Quinn to do. I wasn't loving the Alexis-Pie storyline, but they made me care about it at the end in a nice scene with her and Castle.


General Thoughts of the Show - Used to be funny with a nice mix of emotion. Now, not funny, and most of the emotional moments don't work as well as they used to. Let's spend some actual time with  the god damn mother already. We've spent enough time with these five assholes at this point. Quite frankly, this show has been terrible for the past 2+ seasons, but I've watched every episode so I can't stop now. I'm in too deep.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - My goodness, this show is pointless. Who cares about searching for Lilly's phone, let's meet the god damn mother. I mean, who doesn't notice they have a text message, anyway? I like the idea of the "no questions asked" storyline and flashbacks, but it wasn't that funny or well executed. On a side note, the Night Falcon will be my new nickname. Only things that made me laugh: Courtney Dove, the TV Robot and the dive pooping in Ted's drink.


General Thoughts of the Show - James Spader is incredible (seriously, he was awesome on Boston Legal) so I was going to watch this show no matter what. There are so few good cable dramas, so I was really excited about this. I thought the trailer was incredible and we were looking at a candidate to be one of the best shows on TV and I couldn't have been any more wrong. This has been disappointing and I've thought about giving up several times. But I'm just a complete sucker when it comes to shows with a mix of procedural and long arcs -- for some stupid reason I need to know what the hell is up with Elizabeth's husband. Or what the hell is up with her HORRENDOUS wig.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - This is not a good show. And I'm really bummed about it. The villains are constantly weak and given terrible nicknames (The Stew-maker! The Courier!), the acting (other than Spader) isn't strong and they are going to drag the shit out of the mystery surrounding Elizabeth's husband. And it's going to drive us all nuts, just like the seemingly-obvious fact that Spader's character is Elizabeth's father.  The only positive about this show right now is the weekly guarantee of some good music and the constant barrage of attractive women (this week: Margarita Levieva).



General Thoughts of the Show - After 'Happy Endings' was cancelled, this became my favorite comedy on TV -- which, to be honest, isn't really saying much. Damn, I might start crying now. This show isn't amazing or anything, but Nick Miller might be my favorite character currently on TV. The characters are good and the stories are quirky, it works for me. Just a fun 20 minutes.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - NO episode this week.


General Thoughts of the Show - I'm actually not a big fan of Andy Samberg, but I'm always looking for a good new comedy so I thought I'd give it a try. I thought the pilot was fantastic, but the show hasn't been as good since then. But I'm enjoying it and it's certainly got the potential to be really good and stick around for a long time. It seems like they have no idea what to do with Melissa Fumero's character (Detective Amy Santiago) other than having her suck up to Captain Holt.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - NO episode this week.


General Thoughts of the Show - The combination of positive reviews this new show got, as well as my crushes on both Malin Akerman and the criminally under-used Natalie Morales drew my attention. And it's been good as advertised. It's nothing special, but it is usually funny and charming. It's not exactly a groundbreaking show premise, but it's solid and works because of a good group of actors. The kids have been a revelation and have definitely boosted the quality of the show.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - "It's very simple. You show me your butt, I'll give you candy." ... "I can't, I have too many wrinkles to iron!" ... "Really, no sex!?" Some good lines this week, some good costumes (The Centaur was good and Warren's Ellen was fantastic) and a fun candy hostage situation. Props to the show for doing a Halloween storyline that I haven't seen before.



General Thoughts of the Show - This show is like a poor-man's (and dirtier) 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'. It's got a lot of improvisation and it doesn't care that the vast majority of the characters are deplorable human beings. You don't have to like fantasy football at all to like this show, but it's a nice little bonus for us that do. The characters are great and while the show isn't consistent, it gives us some classic episodes when it delivers. I just get a huge joy watching this show.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - Andre's storyline was really bad and made no sense whatsoever, but since it gets to involve the perfect amount of Rafi, it is salvaged and completely forgiven ("I gotta destroy the evidence!"). Loved the confusion Rafi and Taco had about what does or doesn't constitute a legal document and the blink/wink fiasco in Ruxin's office. Enjoyed the idea behind Pete's storyline, but don't like the way they resolved it. They tried to tie this whole episode together (with the flying sack of coins hitting the woman's toes) just like they do on 'Curb', but it really didn't work for me. Still a solid episode with some really funny dialogue.


General Thoughts of the Show - I hate country music and I don't particularly like Soap Opera type shows ... but I love this show, anyway. And you know what? The music is fantastic. I adore Connie Britton (Friday Night Lights one of my 5 favorite shows of all-time) and Hayden Panettiere is fantastic on this show. Clare Bowen is impossible not to fall in love with and Deacon and Gunnar are great characters as well. This is one of my favorites on TV today.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - And after all that praise, I'm here to tell you that this week's episode was boring. Nothing happened other than about a billion different love triangles and quadrangles and other different love shapes. Scarlett's song was terrific, so that was a nice bonus, but it would be nice if this show could take just ONE episode off from Rayna's love life.


General Thoughts of the Show - As you can perhaps tell by now, I have no life and watch a lot of TV. I also like to give a lot of the new shows a chance and often stick with them way too long because I feel like they deserve a fair shot. I started this show for two reasons: 1. I love Maggie Lawson (big 'Psych' fan). 2. Baseball is all I care about in life. So when I heard a new show would be combining these two things, I was all-in. And while this show isn't great, I'm enjoying it. It's nothing special, but it works for me.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - That was a clunker. The Cannon's storyline was terrible, there was nothing Halloween-wise that we haven't seen a million times over (the geeks win one against the jocks, no way!) and there weren't many laughs. And we get it, she loves her son and is happy with her life while other people think that she shouldn't be. The show has been good enough thus far, so it's no big deal that this episode was a miss.



General Thoughts of the Show - Still a good show, just not the strongest comedy on TV that it once was. It's difficult to sustain that level for a long period of time, so it's no shame that this show isn't as good. Last week's heartfelt moments between Leonard-Penny and Howard-Bernadette were pretty great. BBT mixes in emotional moments from time to time and they usually do it well.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - NO episode this week.


General Thoughts of the Show - If you watch this show, you know why it's so special. Every episode contains every single human emotion one can experience and it's wonderful and heartbreaking. If you don't watch it, you're missing out -- especially if you like a good cry. And if you loved Friday Night Lights and DON'T watch this show, you should be deeply ashamed of yourself.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - I am four episodes behind on this show (I have to be in a particular mood to want to watch it), so unfortunately you'll all have to wait until I catch up for my opinions on a weekly basis.


General Thoughts of the Show - I love this show, simply because two of my favorite current characters on TV are on it. It's not the highest-quality show, and it's incredibly repetitive, but it's fun.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - Click HERE for my full review.


General Thoughts of the Show - I'm not proud that I watch this show. But I'm immature, what can I tell you? Way back in the day, it actually was pretty darn good, so go to hell. Whatever you feel about Charlie Sheen doesn't change the fact that Jon Cryer is awesome and this show parades out a ton of attractive women. 

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - NO episode this week.


General Thoughts of the Show - Good chance I'm dropping this show. I want to like it, because Sarah Michelle Gellar, Robin Williams, James Wolk and the supporting cast are all good, but the show just doesn't really work. Not all that funny and not all that charming. Amanda Setton, however, is quite charming. If you know what I mean.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - Yup, I'm out. This show does have its moments, but it's not enough when I have 16 other shows on right now that I watch on a weekly basis. Just know that I still love you Amanda and Sarah.



General Thoughts of the Show - It is really fun to watch this show with someone else and debate the quality of the product and the quality of the offers the people pitching receive. The dialogue between the sharks is terrific -- whether it's criticizing the product, praising the product or engaging in a bidding war. Normally I don't like shows in this genre, but I promise that you'll get addicted once you give 'Shark Tank' a try.

Thoughts on this Week's Episode - The pitch by the "Better Life" cleaning guys was really confusing, but the sharks were clearly impressed and the battle between them to get the business was entertaining. ... That was a good presentation by the "180Cup" guy, and I bet that company will make a lot of money, but those cups are really pointless if you think about it. Most of the time those cups are used to play beer pong or flip-cup on disgusting tables, the last thing in the world you should be doing is turning those cups around and drinking a shot out of them. But college students are stupid and alcoholics, so that's why it'll probably work anyway. ... That farmer dude with the Tree-Tee-Pee was a great guy and was an inspiring story, so I'm happy for him that he came away with a deal. But he doesn't seem to want to make any money out of it. He legitimately just wants to make the world a better place and not really capitalize too much on it. Kudos to that dude.


  1. You watch even more TV than I do, bro.

  2. "If I have to see one more scene of Carrie disposing of her meds down a drain or down a toilet I'm going to become very unstable myself."

    You have no idea how loud I yelled at the TV all by myself when this happened last week. Husband was going to bed on the other side of the house and when I walked back there he was like, "Carrie's off her meds again??"

    As for New Girl, I just wanna say, I laughed, SO. HARD. at Jess dressed up as Batman and trying to do the Batman voice for Schmidt on the Halloween ep. After Nick reminded her that she's 5 foot 4 inches tall. And then the "Batmanmobile" bit. That was a pretty hilarious episode. Most of them have been pretty good this season IMO ... only a couple duds so far but I probably just jinxed it by saying that.

    As for Castle, I *almost* busted your balls on Twitter for your lack of reviews at one point when the season first started, but I was too lazy to even bother with that, which means I can't blame you for not reviewing it hhaaha. I feel exactly the same way as you do about it this season. I still watch it but I tend to get a little distracted by my phone and computer while it's on hahah.

  3. Interesting comments even though I don't watch most of these shows. But, that's what happens where there are so many shows to choose from.

    There are some shows I do watch that aren't on your list.

    Curious why no "Sleepy Hollow". That seems to be the breakout of the season.

    1. Not really the type of genre I prefer. I probably should have given it a shot, though.