26 August, 2011

Wilfred - Doubt

In a world... where people... and dogs... and people... and dogs who look like people... on an island... where people are lost... DOUBT!

That would be my trailer for this episode.

But what happened? Watch it! Here are the top quotable moments:

Wilfred: Let me find you a nice hit-it-and-quit-it chick. (looking through Internet dating service profiles) Gross. Out of your league. Lazy eye. Balding Asian grandmother. Grooooosss. Oooh! Here we go. Angelique.
Ryan: Are you kidding?!
Wilfred: Are YOU kidding? Favorite music: all types. This chick must be like an expert in music.

Wilfred: You think your demons have vanished but that's a lie, mate.
Ryan: No offense but I think I know myself better than you do.
Wilfred: You're right. What do I know? I'm just your neighbor's dog who talks to you and doubles partner in Wii Tennis. You're totally fine.

Wilfred: Oooooooh! Red velvet. I think I'm gonna be a little bit naughty today.

Bruce: And then he convinced you to make out with your own father!
Ryan: What?! No.
Bruce: Yeah. No. I mean, me neither.

Angelique: Oh my god, some of the things that you wrote were so gross, I almost didn't come here on this date. But then I was like, gross is kind of hot, right? And all of that stuff about the post office. I don't really know what 'snout rape' means, but I hate my mailman too.

Ryan: Why the hell am I on a date with Angelique and not the girl I picked.
Wilfred: Angelique is an alcoholic blowjob machine. And you're welcome.

Wilfred: Violence is never the answer. As the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr once said... (punches Bruce in the face).

Bruce: You convinced me to make out with my own father!
Wilfred: Everyone at the party loved it! They thought it was edgy!


  1. Let's not forget -

    "Oh Ryan, you have to experience this. Leathery with subtle tones of menstruation. When this opens up it's going to be beautiful".

  2. I had no trouble forgetting that one.

  3. At first I didn't know if he was smelling farts, asses, or vajayjay. A second later I realized it didn't matter and it was all gross.