12 August, 2011

Wilfred - Anger

God's gift to humanity, in the form of a man-dog, had another fun episode with loads of quotable lines. Let's relive the greatness that was dialogue in WILFRED 1.08 that we will remember for eternity:

Wilfred: Ryan, remember when I told you a few weeks ago that you are a total pussy? Well, I just want to apologize for not emphasizing that enough.

Wilfred: Ryan, anger is like herpes. You're not meant to keep it to yourself.

Wilfred: No one hates me. I'm Wilfred. I'm adorable. Look at these eyes. The smile. I once cracked a Nazi skinhead in the face with a beer bottle and you know what he did to me? Belly rub.

Wilfred: I don't want my breath smelling like balls.

Wilfred: Kristin, shall I compare thee to a sunset? Morning dew? Flowers? Blahblahblah, some other beautiful shit? Point is, you look good.

Ryan: She didn't treat you that well either. Which was surprising. 'Cause I thought everyone loves Wilfred.
Wilfred: Everyone does, except her because she's not human. Cold black heart. Dead eyes. Nice tits.

Wilfred: Sneakers is no one, huh? Do you usually buy priceless jewelry for no one? Imitation colored glass. Plastic painted to look like metal. This isn't some cheap made-in-China knockoff. This is made-in-Taiwan! You bastard. Keeping another dog on the side, are you?
Ryan: Sneakers was my dog 20-years ago.
Wilfred: 20-years, 20-minutes, makes no difference to me, Ryan. You know I have no concept of time.

Wilfred: Snuggled up against you, licking your ear? What, in the same bed? Where did you meet this budgie smuggler? At a Maroon 5 concert?

Wilfred: Alright, I've been thinking it over and I know what happened last night. After I went to sleep, you somehow managed to get some sort of homo chip planted in my brain!

Wilfred (possessed}: That man is not the real Magic Johnson. I died in 1992. That guy looks nothing like me.

1 comment:

  1. Wilfred (possessed}: That man is not the real Magic Johnson. I died in 1992. That guy looks nothing like me. thats the truth!!!!!!!!!