20 February, 2013

Review - WHITE COLLAR 4.14: 'Shoot the Moon'

That episode was so bad, that it has inspired me to resort to a life of crime. Who wants to be my Bonnie?

Since I'm a scrawny little bitch, a complete coward and possess no useful skills whatsoever, I should probably reconsider that new career path. While I do so, let's count the ways/reasons why that episode sucked more than your lame-ass version of the Harlem Shake on YouTube.

1. Practically everyone on this show has already been kidnapped. Peter was. Elizabeth was. I didn't need to see it again. It was a bit different with them being captured together, but still. Hell, even the characters themselves even joked about this in the episode. This is only Season 4, let's enter some different terrain and not re-hash the same old tropes.

2. Could that Bonnie and Clyde duo have been any more incompetent? It took all of two minutes for Bonnie to spill past transgressions to Elizabeth. They let both Peter and Liz out of their handcuffs and GAVE ELIZABETH A KNIFE. I understand that they weren't supposed to be experienced criminals or anything, but c'mon.

3. Peter and Liz screwed up too. Mr. Burke was sloppy as hell when fumbling for the gun and getting himself caught. And they just left his badge out in the open. And Mrs. Burke, you are an idiot for putting the gun down on the table and racing after Bonnie. KEEP THE GUN! Call me crazy, but when I steal a gun from the person holding me hostage, I typically don't just set it down on the table and give someone a chance to kill me. But that's just me.

4. That was a really good speech by Peter, he should be a hostage negotiator. I'm serious. But that doesn't change the fact that that scene was incredibly lame. This episode was an abomination.

5. All Bonnie got for those crimes was PROBATION!? Are you kidding. Armed robbery. Kidnapping a fed. And probation. What. A. Joke.

The only things saving this episode from an F- was Mozzie making me laugh and Liz telling Peter that she forced Neal to lie. I'm glad that Peter knows that now.

I, however, am not glad I watched that episode.


--NEAL: "No need, I'll use the one under the fake rock in your flower bed."

--MOZZIE: "Seriously, boxed wine? We gotta get out of here."

--MOZZIE: "You know, it's not too late to hide that micro-cam."

--JONES: "Didn't you respond with a form letter?"
--NEAL: "Only after the carpel tunnel."

--SARA: "It's not like I'm running away to an island or something."

--NEAL: "I may have exaggerated a little bit, it would have turned into dust in another billion years."


--I demand more Alex Hunter. Where are you, Gloria Votsis?

--Shouldn't Bonnie and Clyde have googled Peter and Elizabeth? I know they couldn't have imagined one of them was a Fed, but still. Every time I kidnap someone, I immediately check their IDs and google it. Actually, that's not true. I use Bing.

--Holy crap, Diana's hair is crazy.

--I don't use Bing.



  1. Remember that episode that was based in a school? Remember how Neal said he liked teaching and he was thinking about getting a Masters and whatever?

    It takes probably 3-4 years to get a degree and a Masters Neil! This show is getting really lazy, they think that anything can be achieved in like 5 minutes. The example I mentioned above is just one example out of a thousand where this show does not take note of what the characters say and how fast and lose with the plot they are.

    I know we have been through this before, and that this show is a caper, but sometimes a show should never be this lazy. Maybe the actors should look like they are not phoning it in. Oh and BTW, Neil and Sarah's kiss? Just awful, plain and simple awful.

    1. I got my first master's degree pretty quickly. It only took 5-years (undergrad + graduate). So... yeah.

    2. It took me 5-years too (undergrad (industrial placement for one year) + grad). I heard that if you do it online you can get it quicker.

    3. I have taken online classes and it is quicker in that you can squeeze in more credits. But I prefer how one class I took handled it. It was an accelerated summer class where we finished up in 7 weeks. We had in-class work and then online work. The best of both worlds.

      The class was hard as cancer-balls though.

  2. Except Neal is a criminal he might be able to get fake credentials for a Masters degree somehow.

  3. This episode was not one of there best but it's hard to follow the awesome episode of the first part of Castle. Right now I am waiting for White Collar to have better twist in episodes then people getting kidnapped.