TOP 5 Top 5 of 2012

Here are my top 5 top 5 lists of 2012.

NOTE: Some of these things were NOT released in 2012. I just discovered them in 2012 (books and video games specifically). So, forgive me if I violate your personal rule. This is my blog. I make my own rules.

Top 5 Albums
This year had some fantastic albums (though I think 2011 was even better). These are the ones that moved me most. Though, as I often say, any list I make can change at any time depending on how I am feeling that day.

1. The Sword - Apocryphon: The more I listen, the more I love this album. Stoner metal at its best.
2. Fiona Apple – The Idler Wheel Is Wiser...: Why doesn't she make more music?!
3. Frank Ocean - channel ORANGE: So highly ambitious it could have crashed and burned. Instead, it works on many levels. It is great that we finally have a modern-day hip-hop artist (if we want to pigeonhole him into a genre) who deals with real social issues without resorting to cliches. And yes, he's also a hero to the LGBT community.
4. Napalm Death - Utilitarian: What I need more in my life is death metal songs that aren't any longer than four minutes. This has a bunch of them! Welcome back into my life, old friend.
5. Soundgarden - King Animal: I wasn't crazy about the first few songs and so I almost dismissed this album. Then it kicked into gear and I couldn't stop listening. Welcome back into my life, dear old friend from way back when.

Top 5 Movies
Any of these movies could have been #1. Also, the movies that didn't make the list could easily make the list on another day (like "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", "Killing Them Softly", "Cloud Atlas", "Lincoln", "Safety Not Guaranteed", "Skyfall", "The Hunger Games" and so on).

1. LOOPER: One of the best time-travel action movies in a very long time. So good I can ignore the paradox it created (as most time-travel movies do).
2. THE AVENGERS: Joss Whedon finally received the mass audience his crazed loyal fan base assured he'd someday reach. And comic-book fans finally got an awesome Hulk! Plus everything else was nearly perfect.
3. THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY: What? Critics had a problem with it? That's okay because sane fans loved it. Especially that brilliant "Riddles in the Dark" scene. Martin Freeman and Andy Serkis were brilliant in that sequence. Freeman was a standout in the entire movie.
4. QUEEN OF VERSAILLES: A documentary that sums up the problem with the economy and the American dream from the perspective of the (not-for-long?) 1%.
5. MOONRISE KINGDOM: Two outcast kids fall in love and decide to run away together. And the rest is pure genius. An instant classic.

Top 5 TV Shows
Television has become the most creative outlet for brilliant people and so this list is made difficult purely because there is so much great stuff out there right now. However, this list was the easiest to make because of the passion I feel for the following shows.

1. COMMUNITY: Under the maddening helm of the brilliant Dan Harmon, the third season was arguably one of the best half-hour single-cams in television history! So crazy good that it drove Sony to fire Harmon from the show he created. You know it is too good if TV executives can't figure it out.
2. GAME OF THRONES: Not as great as season 1 but even the worst episode of this show is better than the best episode of most.
3. COVERT AFFAIRS: I was going to put HOMELAND here but then had to be honest with myself. Both shows had problem episodes. This one had less of them and ended up as my favorite spy drama in 2012.
4. PARKS AND RECREATION: A nearly perfect show. Still way under-appreciated.
5. COPPER: This BBC America show is the Brit drama the media isn't going crazy over and tossing ridiculous praise at. It is THE WIRE of period police dramas. Minus one misstep in story telling, it is flawless. So obviously it will not be fully appreciated until it is gone.

Top 5 Books
I read a lot of books this year. Five of those from a little series called A Song of Ice and Fire. I also tossed in a new book that is out in 2013 that I got the opportunity to read ahead of release. So not a single book on this list was released in 2012. Perfect!

1. A Storm of Swords (book 3) by George R.R. Martin: Best fantasy book I have ever read. Arguably one of the best works of fiction ever written. It built me up. It broke me down. It made me cry. It made me cheer. It left me feeling as if someone had punched me in the stomach, and then it helped me make a proper fist and punch right back. Wow. Your move HBO version. Your move.
2. A Game of Thrones (book 1) by George R.R. Martin: Hey! Season 1 on HBO was a lot like this! It is the most faithful book to series translations ever. Still, the book is obviously better.
3. A Dance with Dragons (book 5) by George R.R. Martin: Not nearly as full of life as the first book, and not nearly as devastating as the third. It works as a big tease for what happens next. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!
4. A Clash of Kings (book 2) by George R.R. Martin: Hey! Season 2 on HBO was somewhat like this book! Minus lots of characters.
5. The Aylesford Skull by James P. Blaylock: Sure, it won't be released until 2013 but I read it in 2012 and truly enjoyed it. So much so that I have to put it ahead of a GRRM book (shocker!). Easiest book review ever.

Top 5 Video Games
Much like the books list, most of these were NOT released in 2012. But then this is a list of the top 5 things I loved in 2012.

1. Armed Assault 2 (including all DLC): I had skipped this one until the Steam summer sale and I have been playing it like a madman since. Sure, lots of people bought it for the zombie apocalypse survival mod DayZ, but I got it for the military gaming stuff. And I'm addicted. Here is the proof.
2. Chivalry: Medieval Warfare: I love medieval combat games (as you can see with my #4 pick) and there just haven't been many choices until recently. Out of the ones I played or tested this year, this one is by far the most fun. Even when getting my head chopped off left and right (this is a bloody, dismembering game) I am always having a blast.
3. Dishonored: Thief meets super powers. Ummm, yes please!
4. Mount & Blade: Warband (with Napoleonic Wars): I play Chivalry for the quick combat. I play Mount & Blade for the massive battles, castle/fortress assaults, and all those wonderful mods. Another game I picked up for dirt cheap on the Steam summer sale.
5. Battlefield 3 (Premium): I was a Call of Duty guy for years. Then I played BF3 and quit COD forever. I see no reason to go back to an ancient, boring, unimaginative way of playing FPS games. Sorry COD fanboys, you can keep flocking to crap. I'm with DICE now... as you can see here.

So, what would your top 5 top 5 list look like? Comment below.
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MERRY CHKAWXMAGNATHIA!!!! AKA Happy Holidays!

Much love to all the readers on this site! Much more love to Jimmy for commenting on virtually every article and listening to every podcast! Greater love to all you donators!

Greatest love to Daniel!

So what did you get?
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Furycast 60 - THE HOBBIT (AUJ) Reviewed

In this episode VladyGG and HGF discuss their feelings about THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY and get into some discussions related to the "Lord of the Rings" franchise... all while kind of playing Diablo 3.

Autoplay enabled for your enjoyment!

If you would like to download the MP3 version RIGHT CLICK HERE AND SAVE to your hard drive.

Or you can just click directly to the YouTube version which can be viewed in 1080p.
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20 December 2012 - THE LAST DAY BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE!

So... since you won't be needing cash after today, I say spend it.

On me!

And I will love you forever! Which should be about 24-hours. But what a glorious 24-hours spent drinking and eating to my heart's content!

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Cut to Red (my lazy masterpiece)

This is what happens when TV goes on hiatus.
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Massive Pooh-C

Don't watch this... I warned you.

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Review - FRINGE 5.09: 'Black Blotter'

"I wanted to cry for you. But I'm different now."

Walter's acid trip toward the reconstitution of his brain brings a fairy good time.

I know what you are wondering. Did this episode make up for the general weakness of this season? Did the writers finally remember what this series is about and put more focus on characters and relationships over slow plotting boredom? I mean, did they do so without spreading a ton of moldy cheese all over it?

Maybe?

We did get some amount of Walter tripping, Astrid looking cute, and Peter & Olivia in-love. These things work well so the writers have spent a large amount of time not utilizing them out of fear of making what many love about the show less interesting.

That makes a lot of sense since purposely making the show suck DOES elevate the enjoyment of those elements when they are actually utilized well.

So a signal brings our heroes to a house where the Observer kid with the terribly hidden bald-cap is being protected by some old dude and a frail woman. And that's when Walter joins a Monty Python sketch to save the day. After some talk, the gang takes the weirdo back to their secret base and tries to make him drink hot coco. It is here, during some dumb dialogue, that it becomes clear that this kid is September. Not to the characters, of course. That would be too easy. But to anyone with a brain.

In the end, Walter trips some more balls and then sets fire to his damnation. Unfortunately, he is already doomed. He now knows and soon the world will end by his hands.

Did I skip a story element that would illuminate the meaning behind what I just wrote?  If it feels like I'm not putting a lot of effort into this review, consider your observational skills tested and confirmed to be in working condition.

If I had to rate this episode, and the makeup department over at WB says I don't, then I'd give it:

76 out of 100

It wasn't terrible.

What did you think?
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The Unluckiest Suicide Bomber Ever

73 seconds of your life that you can get back if you have a time machine.
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Review - FRINGE 5.08: 'The Human Kind'

As Peter turns into a logic meat puppet, Olivia pines for a bloody bullet, and Walter worries about Peter's ability to cry.

And we get yet another episode of FRINGE, in a season of only 13 episodes that are supposed to close out the series, whose story could have been told in one act of a much better episode. Proving, yet again in an endless proving of yet-again, that 13 episode arcs are in no way superior to television story telling.

When writers get lazy, they run out of quality ideas NO MATTER HOW MANY EPISODES THEY HAVE TO WRITE.

Anyway, so Olivia's mission to find a magnet did feel at some point like a story element that could go somewhere interesting. The character of Simone, the woman who had been waiting for a couple of decades for the blond monotone ice popsicle, as foretold by a gray-haired granny from the past, was one of those LOST type story-lines that always intrigue me. But then a couple of things happened. Things of total mindfuckering stupidity.

First, Olivia decided to school this very kind and helpful sweet lady about her delusions of hope. Yes, darling Olivia, there is no better time to shit all over someone than after they spent TWENTY YEARS waiting for your robotic personality to show up, point a weapon at her, refuse her kind gestures, accuse her of trying to poison you, and then SHIT ALL OVER HER as you try to leave in the vehicle she kept safe for you and just refueled so you could go on your merry stiff way.

And second, while on the road to your clandestine destination, with your super important cargo, in a world where you are one of two MOST WANTED PEOPLE ON THE PLANET and being hunted by super-human beings who can manipulate time and space, you fall for the oldest trick in the book (not kidding, I looked it up, it is on page 1) of highway robbery.

Meanwhile, Pacey Poof's Matrix agent fight take 2, while cool, was so unoriginal and predictable that it didn't do much for me. While his injury and subsequent scene with Walter made me somewhat curious enough to pay attention, in the end it just led us to a half-assed scene between Olivia and Peter where he ends up cutting out his super power for the sake of love.

Wow. Awesome...

The best part of this is that Jackson won't have to channel ice-queen Olivia in any more scenes as a way to pretend to be turning into an Observer. Because there were times I couldn't tell the two apart. Well, other than Torv's less curly hair. Otherwise, it was very difficult... they were like twins.

If I had to rate this episode, and blahblahblahblahblah, I'd give it:

61 out of 100

This probably could have been a good episode if it had different writers, producers, director, key grip, and editors.

So what did you think? I am very interested. And please be respectful in your idiotic responses in the comment section.

Keep it classy.
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Review - CASTLE 5.09: 'Secret Santa'

I made you all wait three extra days for this crappy review?

My apologies for all those who patiently waited for this. And by all, I mean all one of you. Thank you, maryploppins.

Usually, I could care less about the case of the week on 'Castle'. They aren't always exciting or intriguing or all that difficult to figure out who did it. But most importantly, they are essentially inconsequential to whether or not I liked the episode. But this week was the exception, because their wasn't much Beckett-Castle stuff this week and the stuff that was there was a bit lame.

So I had to hang my hat on something different this week -- like figuring out why a Santa fell from the sky, why he stole the clock, why he changed his life so strangely and who killed the damn guy. And I enjoyed trying to figure it all out and watching to see how in all unfolded.

I also loved seeing Esposito get his clock cleaned (see what I did there?) by that Santa. I've often complained about the show not using enough of Ryan And Esposito (especially of Javy) and it was nice to see him featured more this week. Although, the less Captain Gates we can get, the better. I couldn't care less about her personal life.

As stated earlier, the Castle-Beckett storyline was brief and a bit lacking, but there doesn't have to something big going on between those two every episode, so I didn't have a problem with it or anything. She changed up her tradition for him, and he was going to do the same for her, so that was all swell.

Solid episode, nothing special.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--CASTLE: "And now Santa is dead!? When will it end?"

--BECKETT: "That's a 38, do you still think he fell out of it?"
--CASTLE: "No, clearly he was shot out of it."

--CASTLE: "I think you meant less clausible."

--CASTLE: "I was thinking we should have a Christmas movie marathon ... or some other kinda marathon that makes life wonderful."

--ESPOSITO: "Shouldn't you be home, stuffing your wife's stocking?"

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--I don't mind being in the Christmas spirit, but it drives me crazy when people go way too overboard with it.

--Well, that was easy to convince Ryan to have kids.

--If I got a $1 every time I hear: "I didn't kill _____, but I know who did" on TV, I could retire.

--Could Castle have made it any more obvious when trying to convince Gates to let Beckett have Christmas Eve off?

--I know Alexis is a great daughter and all, but no way she cancels her plans at that age to spend Christmas Eve with her father and grandmother.

--I must be a sap of epic proportions, because when Javy got invited into that house, I practically shed a tear.

THE SCORE: 79 out of 100

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Furycast 59 - Schweddy Balls

VladyGG and HGF whine about their listeners, or lack thereof, while also somehow remembering to talk about STAR WARS, THE HOBBIT, IT, getting old, relationships, sleeping habits, going to concerts, making videos, playing video games, Gandalf the Gay and other stuff.

ATTENTION: I am doing something different this time. The podcast is being posted as a YouTube video which has my own personal video game footage (mostly Diablo 3, but also some from Planetside 2, Dishonered, and Borderlands 2). I am also including the usual iTunes upload and MP3 download link but depending on how you decide to access the podcast, I will most likely get rid of one or more of those options in the future. Listen to the podcast for why I am doing that.

Press play below (choose 720pHD in bottom right corner of the video).


You can also DOWNLOAD this podcast as an MP3 by right clicking on this link and saving it to your hard drive. I recommend this since it is of a higher quality.

Click this link to subscribe to our podcast via iTunes.

If you have any questions or comments that you want addressed on a future podcast, feel free to call us at 201-639-GEEK (4335) and leave a message!


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STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS Teaser-Trailer

Check it out! For as long as it lasts... until someone takes it down.


And the Japanese version which has more footage.

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The Australian Badass Part 2 - Heavy Firepower

This time our heroes have more bullets!
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The Australian Badass Part 1

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Review - The Walking Dead 3.08: "Made to Suffer"

In the midseason finale our group finally confronts the Woodbury folk and things get nasty! Also, Carl invites his new friends over to hang out! 

I think this episode succeeded in leaving the viewers with just enough to tide them over until February: the cliffhangers were manageable and we got satisfying endings to some of the key plots for the first half of the season. The confrontation with the Woodbury group was intense and climactic enough for the build up, and it made the rescue of Glenn and Maggie seem pretty heroic. Also, the fight between Michonne and the Governor was some good stuff, and the results clearly established a new direction for the Governor as a character. I wasn't thrilled with Andrea again, who didn't seem nearly as concerned as she should be with everything she discovered about her new boyfriend's creepy decorating habits. 

The appearance of Tyrese and crew is the major plot development and yet another piece of the puzzle to tide everyone over during the break. It was hard not to be impressed by Carl's initiative and smarts in this situation. The set up made things look like Carl was slipping some in the sympathy department, but he's learned a thing or two from his dad and he managed that situation well by locking up the new arrivals. The epic Merle/Daryl reveal at the end was spectacular and leaves us all with something to look forward too, while not being so taxing that you'll kill yourself over it before the next episode. I think the best thing that can be said is that this episode struck the right balance between exciting developments and gruesome fun action. I don't know that it's the most memorable episode, but it's still goes out on a strong note, and one that I think will bring everyone back in a month or so.

I give this one an 80 out of 100- some satisfying developments and good things to come.

- I know all the logical reasons, but it was nice to see this show finally have some fun with assault rifles!

- Maggie stabbing a man in the jugular with a bone shiv!- that is all.

- "You've got the short hair…You're not a lesbian?"- ummm perhaps the current scenario just lacks shampoo Axel?

- Did Andrea not notice that she looks eerily similar to the Governor's former wife? Or was she just waxing nostalgic about the way things were before?

- So long Penny!

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Furycast 58 - The Last Podcast on Earth, Take 1

VladyGG and HGF discuss how much the listeners rule; Yvonne Strahovski and DEXTER; bunch of movies; who will direct STAR WARS; Tenacious D does jazz; plus more.

If you listen, we love you. If you don't, we hate you... unless you decide to listen, then we unhate you and choose to love you instead.

Press play below.


You can also DOWNLOAD this podcast as an MP3 by right clicking on this link and saving it to your hard drive. I recommend this since it is of a higher quality.

Click this link to subscribe to our podcast via iTunes.

If you have any questions or comments that you want addressed on a future podcast, feel free to call us at 201-639-GEEK (4335) and leave a message!


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Review - The Walking Dead 3.07: "When The Dead Come Knocking"

I'll try and cut to the chase since I'm writing this review high on Thanksgiving leftovers. This episode took some time to get going but finished strong and set up what looks to be an exciting mid season finale. Aside from the very start, the beginning of this episode seemed a bit slow, including that oddly extended Carol reunion. I can understand the group's reluctance to let Michonne in fully, but that whole sequence took more time than necessary. I also couldn't figure out why Michonne wouldn't just speak up about having seen Maggie and Glenn get nabbed and the Governor's camp.

The highlight of this episode was undoubtedly the dual interrogations of Maggie and Glenn. Glenn taking on the walker while duct taped to the chair, and eventually using said broken chair as weapon was a walker fight for the history books, especially that primal scream at the end. And the Maggie looked as uncomfortable and disgusting as it was intended to be.

Other than a fondness for Dallas Robert leftover from "Rubicon" I wasn't overly interested in the Milton/Andrea scenes. The prison rescue group's encounter with the heard in the forest also felt dim in comparison to that solo Glenn fight. The conflict between Daryl/Merle is shaping up to be one of the more exciting elements with each having to decide between their blood relationship as brothers and the relationships they've made through shedding blood together with others. I give this one a 70 out of 100. A strong finish and it leaves me with a good feeling about things to come.

 Extra points:

 - "You do whatever you're gonna do; and go to hell."- Maggie

- "I telecommuted to work."- poor Milton!

 - My one weakness for Woodbury would be getting to have a turntable during the apocalypse.

 - Gunshot wounds barely even slow Michonne down!
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2012!

To all our friends, followers, readers, fans, and especially to those who donate (so, Daniel for the most part) HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Now, since we will not be posting anything new until Monday morning, enjoy these videos that represent what I will be doing for the next few days.

Eat well. Be merry. And dream of large women.

BATTLEFIELD 3 "Jump! Fire! Die!"
ARMED ASSAULT 2 "There Will Be Blood"
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Review - CASTLE 5.08: 'After Hours'

As usual, I'm going to start with the positives ...

General Beckman!!!

If you have no idea what this means, you are dead to me, dead to Geek Furious and dead to all that is right with this world.

If you DO know what I'm talking about, you were probably just as excited as I was when Bonita Friedericy appeared in Monday's episode.

Like me, however, that might have been all you were excited about during 'After Hours'. Because it pretty much stunk.

Season 5 has been terrific thus far, with very few complaints -- so I'm not going to get too angry here. Although, that's two straight clunkers. The Beckett-Castle relationship has been fun and done well in the early going here, but I could have done without the ridiculous fighting and the ridiculous counseling from the witness/bad guy. So lame, unoriginal and tired.

Also lame ... the crap with Castle's mom and Beckett's dad. Puke. And who didn't see them bonding throughout the episode over the disappearance of their children? If those two end up as an item at any point this season, I'm going to give that episode a 0 out of 100.

And for those who were genuinely surprised by the twist of who killed Father McMurtry, apparently you haven't watched much television before. Because there is one rule in TV: If you recognize a guest star (and that guy has been in every damn show in the world), then you know he's not just there to play some stupid small-bit part in the episode.That dude wouldn't have taken that role as simply a witness on the run -- there had to be more to it than that and there was.

Three more problems: it doesn't matter that the cell phone was locked. All phones, even when locked, have an emergency call option on the screen that does not require the password to be used. So although I enjoyed that little sequence with Castle and the phone, it made no sense. Another thing that bothered me was that there were essentially no good lines/dialogue whatsoever. I usually list a tone of good quotes below, but there were no good options this time.

Also, Castle essentially handed over Beckett on a silver platter to Mickey Dolan. Dolan read Castle like a book, figuring out where Beckett and Leo were hiding. Castle should have turned away from Dolan, not enabling him to get a read on him like that.

Turns out chivalry is dead, after all.


QUOTE OF NOTE:

--BECKETT: "Dude, where's the car?"

RANDOM RAMBLING:

--Ah, the old fake-an-injury bit works every time.

THE SCORE: 54 out of 100

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Review - The Walking Dead 3.06: "Hounded"

This weeks episode sets up a couple of key plots for the last part of the season, but before I talk about those, a few rants:

1. Maggie and Glenn, two of the only people in this group aside from Daryl who contribute anything, disappear for far longer that a simple supply run should take and not one person notices? Not even a: "Hey, haven't those two been gone pretty long?" from anyone? I understand based on past events it's somewhat reasonable to assume they were just taking their sweet ole' time and abusing the free supply of condoms at the local abandoned grocery store, but COME ON PEOPLE!?!? Not to mention said people includes Maggie's father and half sister!?!?

2. ANDREA! This is one of those situations where no matter how attracted you are to somebody every fibre of your being should be telling you: "Don't have sex with them! Don't get involved!". Warning signs Andrea! He's impeccably dressed during the zombie apocalypse; he hosts a monthly zombie fight club; he's BFFs with Merle; he offers you whisky at all hours of the day whenever you come to see him. I understand that Andrea has probably hit a wall like everyone else and maybe she's kind of sick of just surviving all the time, which is why she's sticking around Woodbury, but for god sakes woman- trust your instincts and use some common sense!

Plot wise this episode set up the two situations which will probably carry us through the end of the season. Rescuing the now captured Glenn and Maggie from Woodbury; and the eventual meeting/confrontation between our beloved prison dwellers and the Governor and his forces, plus the Dixon brothers reunion. Other than that the episode was just sort of filling in gaps. Michonne gets to show off her skills again; I like that even with a bullet wound in her leg Michonne can take out like three walkers AND evade Merle in the woods! I also enjoyed the Daryl and Carl scene, which not only gave us a glimpse into the Daryl backstory, but gave us some insight into how Carl's dealing with everything. Rick working out his issues by phoning the dead was ok, and at least he's finally acknowledged poor little Ass Kicker. 

I give this one a 65 out of 100- not much exciting happened but I'm understanding of the fact that they are setting things up for the final four.

Odds and ends:

- "She sent us a biter-gram y'all!"- LOLZ!

- Teenage wall guard girl= the Dana (Homeland) of WalkingDead. I hope you get zombie-chomped Katniss Everdeen wannabe!

- Oh and Carol's alive! In case you cared. Also, why was she just chilling in a closet in an abandoned part of the prison? Was she that injured she couldn't limp over to where everyone else was?

- On the Talking Dead after show they took a poll about what most people would do if Rick told them he was getting calls on the prison phone and 45% of people, the majority, answered "Order pizza". This was one of my suggestions last week and its nice to know I'm not the only person (at least out of those of us dorky enough to be watching a post-episode fan show) who really loves pizza that much. 

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Furycast 57 - Shuttlecock Your Turkey

 
Jess and Magnus discuss NEW GIRL, PARKS AND RECREATION, HAPPY ENDINGS, and THE WALKING DEAD.

EXPECT SPOILERS FOR EVERY SHOW DISCUSSED!



You can also DOWNLOAD this podcast as an MP3 by right clicking on this link and saving it to your hard drive.

Click this link to subscribe to our podcast via iTunes.
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Review - FRINGE 5.07: 'Five-Twenty-Ten'

In this week's episode, something happens. Then something else. Finally, something happens that makes you go "wooooo!" as you wait weeks for whatever comes next.

I truly don't have much to say about this episode. So let me sum it up in some bullets.

• Walter's complete brain makes him do bad things and love won't change that.
• Peter can see the future and shit because he's turning into an Observer.
• Olivia is worried about Peter.
• The Observers still haven't gotten around to noticing those Etta "Resist" signs. I suppose they could think they are advertisements for a new deodorant for the dead.

The only truly effective thing that this episode did was shit on the ridiculous notion often bandied about by television people that a 13-episode season means meatier episodes and no fluff.

Clearly they could have dished out a majority of this shit in one act. Instead, they stretched it out for an entire episode. Lame.

If I had to rate this episode, and I truly don't, I'd give it:

60 out of 100

What did you think?
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Review - CASTLE 5.07: 'Swan Song'

Ehhhhh.

That's my expert analysis/review of Monday's episode of 'Castle'. They don't pay me for nothing, folks.

I love when shows experiment with different formats/structures/styles and tamper with the norm and try to get away from the mundane each and every week -- but that was lame, tired, unoriginal and simply not a strong effort.

It was funny for a few minutes with Esposito pining for the camera every chance he got, but the same bit with every other character got old. And got old fast.

It was nice to have more Ryan and Esposito in the episode, but there was basically no Castle whatsoever. Yes, he was on the screen a fair amount, but he did essentially nothing in all of his scenes. Nothing particularly memorable or hysterical, at the very least.

And if this whole episode was just about mocking the "mockumentary" style TV shows like 'The Office' and 'Modern Family', it wasn't funny or clever in doing so.

It had a couple moments, but not enough. Kinda disappointing considering how strong this season has been so far -- especially the last two installments.

Oh well, no big deal. Not every episode is going to be good.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--ESPOSITO: "Boom. We got you now, bitch? Can I say that?"

--BECKETT: "That's not the only thing on that video being faked."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--If I got $1 for every time someone awkwardly looked into the camera, I could be able to afford to write these reviews for free.

--No. Way. In. Hell. Would. Cameras. Be. Permitted. In. The. Precinct. For. That. Stupid. Documentary.

--Makes sense Ryan and Esposito were so gung-ho about the cameras and attention, they never get enough screen time in a normal week.

--That was so obviously fake gun fire coming from that apartment. Esposito can't get anything right.

--Enjoyed Beckett's "Thank you" and high five with Castle into the camera at the end. Didn't love her locking the cameraman in the closet, that was obvious.

--Esposito was definitely the episode MVP.

THE SCORE: 47 out of 100

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Furycast 56 - Strahovski vs Torv

VladyGG and HGF talk about the most recent sex scandals; FRINGE; DEXTER, including Yvonne Strahovski's decision to not go nude; FIREFLY; STAR WARS; REVOLUTION; RED DAWN; C. Thomas Howell; TWILIGHT and Kristen Stewart's naked sex time in ON THE ROAD; and various other things and sub-discussions.

This could be the best podcast I've ever done... with VladyGG.

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Furycast 55 - Greatest Podcast Ever Part VII

THIS EPISODE WILL FUCK YOUR FACE OFF!

Jess and Magnus talk BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: BLOOD & CHROME, WALKING DEAD, PARKS AND RECREATION, REVOLUTION, STAR WARS, ELEMENTARY blahblahblah stuff stuff, Yvonne Strahovski crying and sex scenes, and so on and therefor plus HOMELAND, MY SO-CALLED LIFE, STAR TREK, CHUCK yaddayaddapoopmonster there and back again, and Brad Pitt's sucking of Billy Bob Thorton's blood vile around Angelina Jolie's neck, runonsentences plus more. AND A FUCKIN' OUTTAKE THAT WILL FLIP YOUR TITS OFF!

This is the greatest podcast in the history of womankind! If you don't listen to it, your dick will become a pooh-C.... and just think, I edited out 15 minutes for being too hardcore.

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Review - The Walking Dead 3.05: "Say The Word"

I almost made this review one sentence long and all caps, something like "MICHONNE SLAUGHTERING THE CAGED WALKERS IS FUCKING AWESOME!". Because otherwise this episode seemed like a whole lot of show and not much movement. Virtually the whole episode is dedicated to the menial task of getting baby formula, and the mysterious event taking place in Woodbury; only one of which has a halfway decent pay-off. But I'll run through a few things I enjoyed, and others I didn't.

I liked the opening with the suburban looking scene in Woodbury, for me it emphasizes Michonne's uneasiness with the whole idea of the town being a really nice looking cage (also somewhat analogized with the caged walkers). Rick and everyone else may be living in an actual prison, but they have a freedom that the Woodbury clan doesn't. Second, I'm glad the baby is fine but already this worries me. I'm not opposed to the show focusing on the more everyday aspects of survival like getting food, water etc.; but this episode really dragged out what seemed like a pretty simple supply run. Babies, as in real life, can drag shows down, hopefully this will not be the case for Little Ass Kicker. Rick going insane was sort of what I expected so we'll see where things go next week on that.

I'm continuing to enjoy the Governor's true nature being revealed piece-by-piece, first with his daughter at the beginning and then with the gladiator style death match at the end. David Morrisey does a good job of maintaing the calm exterior and making the crazy aspects seem totally normal, which in turn makes it creepier. The fun of the match made up for the boredom of watching Woodbury take a day off, at least more so than finally seeing Maggie find baby formula in a cabinet. I'm also glad Michonne gave Andrea that ultimatum and didn't stick around, I'm betting she's going to find the other group next week which should move things along. And based on her reaction to the zombie fight club and the previews it doesn't look like Andrea will be far behind her. 

I give this one a 70 out of 100- who was phoning Rick in the prison? Pizza delivery? Telemarketers? The aliens?

Quotes, fun facts, whatnot…

-The Governor: "She's all personality that one."

-Was anyone else expecting a horde of toddler zombies to be in that creepy daycare center? After expressing that thought out loud during the episode I realized that is probably the most terrifying type of zombie I could imagine: literal ankle biters! 

-Daryl is quickly climbing the list to the title of  "Perfect Man": rugged, heroic, quiets crying infants...

- Merle, king of zombie fight club!

-Apparently that thing Rick picked up off the ground was the bullet that Carl shot Lori with- "Bullet that Saved the World" eh Fringe peeps?

- For Sons of Anarchy fans: Merle's opponent was Hector Salazar aka the dude who kidnapped Tara at the end of S.3.

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Review - FRINGE 5.06: 'Through the Looking Glass and What Walter Found There'

Dear friends, I was unable to write a review last week due to a megastorm that knocked out power across the area. I did discuss what I thought of the episode in our latest podcast but decided not to catch up with a written review. If you were disappointed by that, then I apologize for failing your expectations.

My recent complaints have been about Olivia's lack of a primal grief over her daughter's death. As I stated on the podcast, there is no believable reason for this. Sure, Olivia did have something in last week's episode that one could say was a nice moment for the actor/character but it wasn't primal grief. It wasn't about losing control. And when people lose someone they can't replace, they have those moments even if they are emotionally protective. Humans can't control themselves in those moments. The grief escapes.

So I went into this episode very disappointed by how the writers have treated Olivia's reactions (minus that one moment, as I indicated), but very happy with the Pacey Poof material. Not much changed this time around. The episode starts with Peter still holding onto his grief and Olivia still acting much too amiable about the whole thing. Sure, the two share a nice moment together but Peter continues to deliver an appearance of stress, anger, and grief while Olivia has a much too accepting disposition. As if she finds all of this a bit cute or sweet. It feels unnatural.

As for the rest of the episode, Walter's hunt for his hidden puzzle pieces was interesting in that I wondered where it was going but also silly in that he didn't realize how dangerous it would be to go out alone to do it.

Though, an even bigger and growing issue I have with this season is how slow and incapable the Observers seem to be whenever the show needs them to be, and how quick and capable they seem at other times.  I am not sure if this whole evil Observer story line will pay off well down the line, but they were so much more interesting when they seemed like detached time travelers who existed for some less-than-evil purpose. Now they are nothing more than more strangely dressed agents from THE MATRIX.

Let me mention some things I did like: the previously mentioned moment between Peter and Olivia; the way the alternate world worked differently on technology; Peter irritatingly pushing Walter through the time warp (toward the end) as Walter tries to do his little dance shuffle; though the setup to it happening was silly, the Pacey Poof Neo Vs. Agent Observer fight was pretty cool, and I think they even used a musical nod to THE MATRIX in there; Peter's new powers!

On that last point, the Observer's warning about what Peter has done to himself is likely to turn into something completely fuckin' stupid as these things usually do.

If I had to rate this episode, and some little albino boy says I do, then I'd give it:

78 out of 100

This show has seen better days. And worse. I gave the episode an extra 3 points for the final minutes which had some nice John Noble acting.

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Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome (Episodes 1 & 2)

After sitting in limbo for the past year, this once supposed-to-be new BSG series now turned web series has been unleashed! Check out the first two episodes below. More will be released over the next couple of months on the YouTube channel Machinima Prime.



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Review -- CASTLE 5.06: 'The Final Frontier'

Things I do not like: Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Blade Runner, Firefly, Deep Space Nine and all that other garbage. Just because I may write for GeekFurious.com, doesn't mean I am a geek.

(Although after writing this, I suspect I will no longer be writing for the Web site. HGF is very spiteful like that.)

But all this doesn't mean I didn't love Monday's new episode of Castle. Because my disdain for sci-fi nerd shows aside, "The Final Frontier" was one of my favorite TV shows at its best: quirky, silly, funny and charming.

Because it was so entertaining, I won't let the ending bother me. Sure, that was some of the worst acting ever by Lieutenant Chloe and her reasoning for committing murder was uttlerly ridiculous -- but I can live with it.

Six episodes into Season 5, I think we all have to be thrilled with how strong the show has been thus far and how well they've handled the Castle-Beckett relationship. So far, the writers have had fun with the following:

--Caskett trying to keep the relationship a secret
--Having them be flirty and sexual and enjoying each other's company
--Tackling jealousy issues
--Giving each other a hard time

No real complaints on my end thus far in Season 5. Do you have any?


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--CASTLE: "Listen, if you want your very own signed copy of Storm Season, I'd be happy to arrange a private signing."
--BECKETT: "Cap your pen, Castle. There's been a murder here."

--BECKETT: "In your dreams."
--CASTLE: "Look at my life, all my dreams come true."

--PERLMUTTER: "Detective Beckett and non-detective Castle."

--CASTLE: "A real sci-fi murder at a sci-fi convention -- this just keeps getting better!"

--ESPOSITO: "You took my p-p-pen"

--ESPOSITO: "Yeah, I could probably see you as an elf, or a hobbit."

--CASTLE: "OK, so if I wake up bald tomorrow, you'd still be attracted to me? ... Oh, my god, you wouldn't!"

--BECKETT: "You wanna make out, Castle?"

--BECKETT: "Castle, are we going to make out?
--CASTLE: "Maybe we should start with the marathon."


RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--The fan playing Lieutenant Chloe at the convention? BABE. Maybe it was just the costume that did it for me, who knows.

--The bald guy in the beginning that discovered the dead body is a dead-ringer for Jim Rash (Dean Pelton on Community)

--Beckett is such a fanboy. First it was of Richard Castle and his novels and then it was Nebula 9.

--I love how Perlmutter disrespects Castle all the time.

--Hot damn, Esposito always gets hit on by witnesses.

--Castle wants to un-see his daughter in that skanky costume, but I'm just fine with it.

--Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that Head Geek Furious has his own laser dungeon?

--I thoroughly enjoyed Castle freaking out about not having worn protection.

--If I got $1 for every time Castle accidentally solved a crime, I could buy a couple $5 footlongs from Subway.

--Loved Castle's reaction to the captain taking out the chick with a body slam and twirling the blaster on his finger and holstering it. ... Loved Castle's mad-dash to the elevator and him trying to close the doors more quickly. ... Loved Castle's reaction to Beckett's costume.

--If I missed subtle or non-subtle references to those shows you love so much, it's because I don't watch that crap. So sue me. However, I did pick up on the obvious Firefly references: "We're canceled after 12 episodes and "That Joss Whedon show".

THE SCORE: 89 out of 100

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Review - The Walking Dead 3.04: "Killer Within"

This weeks episode ends with a shocker, the prison group gets a mysterious new enemy, and the body count rises! We get to check in at both camps this week, but more of the action takes place at the prison. Andrea and Michonne are at odds over what do next: stay in Woodbury, or go back out on the road. This argument felt a little tired to me and seems to just be a rehash of the argument over whether or not to stay at Hershel's farm from last season. At least it seems like it won't drag on for as long as that previous debate. The more interesting part of this story was Merle and Andrea's conversation about how she was left behind, and her feelings about why no one in the group came back for her.

Meanwhile Rick and the others are trying to make their happy little federal penitentiary a bit more homey, but things get interrupted when an unseen intruder opens one of the gates and lets in a pack of walkers to wreak havoc on our survivors. It turns out it was the prisoner Rick banished last week. The set up for this scene was good and I liked how Rick, Glenn and the others were somewhat trapped on the other side of that fence and had to watch, briefly helpless, as Hershel and the others tried to get away. Also, T-Dog's final sacrificial act of helping Carol through the prison was a nice tribute to him as a character, even though he was one of the show's least used characters. By far the bigger piece of action was Lori going into labor while fleeing the walkers with Maggie and Carl. But Lori's final contribution might have been one of the show's best dramatic moments, her conversation with Carl and the final birth scene as a whole was spectacular.

This episode touched on a lot themes the show has dealt with before: Rick's moral conflicts as a leader, the trustworthiness of other survivors and the ruthless nature of the walker world. But this episode had high enough stakes to make those themes seem fresh and worthwhile. But it does raise a question which often come up with this show: does it need to kill someone off every week to make the emotional stakes high enough? And can it do those themes justice in the weeks when it's not racking up such a high body count?

I give this episode a 90 out of 100- it started off a bit slow, but the ending was no doubt a memorable one.

Highlights, quotes:

- Is Carol really dead? It felt like we weren't supposed to believe she was.

- Michonne's plan- a nice tribute to Left4Dead and a few other members of the zombie genre

- Merle: "How come you and I never hooked up?"
  Andrea: "You called me a whore and a rug muncher" (Or maybe because you are creepy and racist Merle!)

-  The Governor: "We should visit Augusta; take only the women and let them play. It'll be historic!" - I would totally go on that outing even though my golf skills are minimal.
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Furycast 52 - We Are Back!

 
Jess and Magnus discuss DOWNTON ABBEY, NEW GIRL, THE MINDY PROJECT, PARKS AND RECREATION, 30 ROCK, HAPPY ENDINGS, THE WALKING DEAD, and tons of political and social science stuff (republicans, religious types, and general conservative leaning individuals should just skip that final half hour). We also briefly mention the new STAR WARS trilogies.

Unedited podcast. EXPECT SPOILERS FOR EVERY SHOW DISCUSSED! Maybe someone can put the times in for me in the comment section so I can list them for everyone. I am just too lazy to do it right now.



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Review -- CASTLE 5.05: 'Probable Cause'

ATTENTION: THIS REVIEW WAS TO BE POSTED TUESDAY but the storm prevented that from happening. I apologize. Blame the gods. -- HGF

I sincerely hope your power wasn't off Monday night.

If it was, you missed one of the best 'Castle' episodes ever -- but then again, if you're reading this, your power is on and you watched it already. (And if you have no clue what I'm talking about, watch or read the news, you idiot.)

Point is, that episode was a doozy, and I feel badly for the people who were unable to watch it.

Stupid me had forgotten about the 3XK killer from Season 3, Episode 6 (a terrific episode), so bringing that storyline back was smart, unexpected, dramatic and intense. Of course, with the way 'Probable Cause' ended, it's probable that the writers will ruin it and bring him back once again even though he should be very dead. Although, if Castle was right, and that whole thing was orchestrated to get them all to the bridge, 3XK was probably wearing a vest and could have survived getting shot like five times. I suppose.

(Why can't anyone really be dead on TV shows when shot? Bryce Larkin and Daniel Shaw, anyone? And if anyone complains about my lack of a "Chuck Spoiler Alert", you only have yourself to blame having not watched the entire series by now.)

Now that I've mentioned how much I love the episode, it would only be appropriate, given the bitch that I am, to complain a little bit about it. Although Beckett insists how she believed him the whole time, it seemed like she, along with Ryan and Esposito, had their moments of doubt. I mean, seriously, c'mon.

As viewers we obviously knew that Castle was innocent from the beginning and going to get absolved from the crime, but the show did a good job of keeping it tense and us guessing throughout. Kudos for that. However, I can't help but wish they made this one a two-parter with Castle being kidnapped and Beckett going on a Sarah Walker-esque rampage trying to find him. ("Giant Brunette Shemale of New York" doesn't quite have the same ring to it as "Giant Blonde Shemale of Thailand", does it?)

Quibbles aside, that was a great episode, highlighted by the fact that it came out of nowhere. I would really love to know what you all thought about it, so blow up the comments section.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--BECKETT: "I know him, Laney. He is an immature, egotistical, self-centered jackass sometimes, but he's not this."

--ESPOSITO: "I know how you feel about the guy -- I love him too. But there's nothing we can do."

--CASTLE: "This is so much less fun than the other night at your place."

--GATES: "The DA is calling it a prisoner's escape. They've issued an APB and instructed me to begin a man-hunt ... Well as far as they're concerned he's well-connected, knows our procedure and has substantial resources."

--CASTLE: "You wouldn't happen to have his contact information, would you?"

--BECKETT: "You shot him, he's dead. It's over."
--CASTLE: "For now."


RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--How come the viewers always know when there is impending danger (the bridge scene at the end), but the cops don't?

--Damnit, Beckett, how do you fall for the 'I'm faking being dead' maneuver?

--Apparently a psychopath serial killer can write crime novels just as well as Castle. The writing was seemingly good enough to make the police think it was Castle's work. It doesn't bode well for his skills if they can be duplicated by a novice.

--A lot of planning went into this frame-job. Gotta respect it.

--Castle is a better cop than Beckett more often than not.

--I want to know who owed Castle a favor and helped him escape the transfer.

--POLL: Do you want them the show to bring back the 3XK killer or do you think that it's not feasible he survived?

THE SCORE: 92 out of 100

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Review - The Walking Dead 3.03: "Walk With Me"

Welcome to Woodbury! Andrea and Michonne get the spotlight this week as we meet a new group of survivors and…Merle's back! The highlight of this week's episode though was clearly the introduction of The Governor, the mild-mannered, yet cold-blooded leader of the Woodbury group. Morrissey's portrayal of the character seems good so far and his balance of both righteousness and viciousness makes for a refreshing new moral conflict. He's twisted yet not totally unsympathetic, which should make for more intriguing stories going forward. The Governor also furthers our understanding of the zombie virus by pointing out that "everyone turns". And I'm glad they chose not to leave out the wall of zombie heads that was such an awesome piece of the comics!

The show also did a nice job of recreating the picturesque setting of Woodbury. The "oasis" feel of it adds to the allure, but its very existence is dependent upon the type of leadership the Governor doles out without remorse. Clearly this will be an issue going forward, and it creates a different perspective on the issue of Rick's leadership abilities, which has gotten tiresome recently. The reappearance of Merle was another big piece of the Woodbury story, and his interrogation scene with Andrea was a nice reintroduction. However, I'm obviously looking forward to his reunion with brother Daryl more.

Michonne remains a mystery and we find out that Andrea doesn't know much about her either, despite their time together. Her execution of the "pets" also leads Andrea to believe she might have been placing too much trust in her new friend. Michonne is definitely my favorite part of the new season and I enjoyed the way she's playing the line between trusting Andrea, yet not wanting to let her guard down too much. She's a great addition to the group and it seems logical that her trust issues will factor into some of the Woodbury story as well. Overall, its great this season to have multiple settings and multiple character stories; a nice change from being stuck on the farm last season. Presumably the two groups will eventually collide one way or another and that will definitely make for some intense moments.

I give this one an 80 out of 100- the episode does a decent job of introducing some new characters and setting pieces in place for the rest of the season. Doesn't have quite the intensity of the last two, but things still seem to be moving forward well.

Quotes etc.

- "My shit never stopped being together."- Michonne

- That stock helicopter scene felt very "Apocalypse Now"

- If I'm not mistaken that was Dallas Roberts as the doctor- I was having "Rubicon" flashbacks

- No check in with Rick and Co. this week but most likely they've settled into the prison. Any thoughts on what episode Lori gives birth to the devil spawn in?
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Furycast 51 - Top 20 Metal Albums of All Time

VladyGG and HGF make two separate lists of their top 20 metal albums of all time! Two lists to rule them all... two lists to bind them... two lists to slay them all, and in the mosh pit blind them!

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Review - FRINGE 5.04: 'The Bullet That Saved the World'

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Review - SOUTH PARK 16.12: 'A Nightmare on Facetime'

It is Halloween in South Park but not for Stan, in a very special episode.

When Randy invests the family savings in an outdated business model named Blockbuster, his fiscal suicide pact sinks the hopes of his children for a happy Halloween. It also draws the ghosts of video rentals past.

Stan's friends attempt to save his holiday by taking him along via the iPad's Facetime or whatever it is called. I don't own an iPad. I'm not lame. Android OS or death!

Randy begins to lose his shit as ghosts and madness drive him into a SHINING mental breakdown. Meanwhile, Stan is virtually kidnapped, then virtually attempted murdered, and virtually illegally dumped in a landfill by Redbox bandits, but then virtually saved with but a scratch. Though, in the real world SHINING Randy takes over virtual Frankenstein Facetime Stan and goes on a virtual actual rampage. Then Blockbuster burns down. Chicken nuggets.

The moral of the story? The times they are a-changin'. Don't murder your family. Also, streaming videos isn't for everyone. Some people just don't have the bandwidth, especially for high definition videos. After all, how are you going to stream a fuckin' Blu-Ray movie at 1080p via Netflix if you are still using some antiquated shared bandwidth scheme?

Stan: Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs.

If I had to rent this episode, I'd pay $0.25. But if I had to rate it, I'd give it:

83 out of 100

I could totally stream it in 1080p because I have killer Internet service.
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Furycast 50 - VladyGG Versus Eli

In this episode, VladyGG and HGF discuss the presidential debate, THE WALKING DEAD, DEXTER, and Yvonne Strahovski. Meanwhile, Eli sits in for some HOMELAND. VladyGG and HGF then argue, listen to some listener phone calls, and argue some more.

00:00 - 00:32 Apocryphon by The Sword
00:33 - 02:58 Intro and Presidential debate #3
02:59 - 11:20 THE WALKING DEAD
11:21 - 11:37 DEXTER and Yvonne Strahovski
11:38 - 16:09 HOMELAND with Eli
16:10 - 30:32 VladyGG and HGF argue, then take phone calls from listeners
30:33 - 31:00 Seven Sisters by The Sword

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Furycast 49 - Happy to be Sad

 
In this episode, Jess and Magnus discuss DOWNTON ABBEY, the COPPER finale, 30 ROCK, PARKS AND RECREATION, THE OFFICE, Yvonne Strahovski, HAPPY ENDINGS, politics, and probably tons more. Ends on talk of GAME OF THRONES and George R.R. Martin's talk about writing the final two books.

Unedited podcast.

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Review - The Walking Dead 3.02: "Sick"

The undead good times continue this week with another solid episode! After last week's cliffhanger the group scrambled to save a now one-legged Hershel and deal with the new arrivals at the same time. Both stories worked surprisingly well and provided vastly different emotional moments which made for a good episode overall. The prisoners provided some humor (albeit pretty dark) and the Hershel story gave us some meaningful character moments. Rick also continued his strong run as  leader of the pack; not backing down in the face of the prisoners and continuing to treat Lori's crap with the appropriate level of disregard.

The new prisoners were a reminder of how much the world has changed, with Rick and Co. informing them about the new realities of the outside world, but also a fun refresher course in Zombie Killing for Dummies! The mele scene with both the prisoners and our heroes trying to take out a pack of Walkers was by far one of the highlights of this episode, both for the action and the dramatic consequences. The idea of not being able to trust any outsiders also seems like a good setup for things to come, and it gave Rick a chance to show he means business by leaving the extra inmate for dead. S.3 Rick is definitely taking his leadership duties more seriously and it fits with the stronger direction the show has taken.

On the opposite side the Hershel story provided some of the key character moments that help keep things grounded. Lauren Cohan got to do some great work this episode and the battle of emotions was evident in almost every scene Maggie appeared in. The amazing moment alone she had with Hershel and the combinations of vulnerability, strength, and family loyalty were all great highlights, and they've solidified my appreciation of Maggie as a character. Beth continued to get scenes which seem to be developing her as more than just background filler, which is also a nice change from most of last season. The scene with the whole crew watching Hershel wake up was also a great "we're all in this together" moment.

The other great piece of this episode had to be Lori. I don't often praise her as a character but the combination of magic truth serum and useful skills made her seem like less of a burden this week. I usually dread Lori scenes but the bluntness this week in admitting her shortcomings as a mother and wife made her seem like less of a whiny bitch, and Rick's disregard for her trivial emotional discussions was another strong point.

Overall I'd give this episode an 85 out of 100. The episode had its high points and it made a respectable effort to keep pace with last week's strong opening.

Odds and ends:

-  I forgot to mention last week that T-Dog seems to have had more to do (and more lines!) in the last two episodes than he's had in two seasons so far- #TeamTDog?

- Carol's new skill sets might be approaching absurdity if they weren't so useful to the plot. She's becoming the show's Swiss Army Knife.

- Carl back-talking Lori and Beth reprimanding Carl- I don't know which was better!

- The show has clearly been waiting to use that "shit happens" line since day one.

- Apparently divorce law won't be a helpful skill during the zombie apocalypse.
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Review - The Sword: Apocryphon

The Sword unleashes another work of art and, spoiler... it is mostly great.

Here are quick reactions to listening to each song (note, I listened to the album five times before writing down these thoughts). I should state upfront, for those who don't normally read my reviews or listen to the podcast that I rarely give two shits about lyrics. I am all about the riffs and vocal melodies. So while The Sword has some great lyrics and their songs tell stories, I base the song reviews purely on the riffs, beats, and melodies.

01 “The Veil Of Isis“ - 97 out of 100
Opening track gives away the game-plan. This is going to be an album full of riffs and cool melodies. Love hearing the bass just underneath it all, still audible, giving it that perfect live vibe but not overpowering. Final minute breakdown is all kinds of sexy. Yeah, that's what I said. Sexy.

02 “Cloak Of Feathers“ - 91 out of 100
Often, when I listen to a new album where the opening track is great, the second track suffers as it has to live up to it.  It takes a bit of time for this one to hook me in but I love the use of clean vocals as the music fades out. And the Thin Lizzy style dueling guitar harmonies are beautiful.

03 “Arcane Montane“ - 93 out of 100
There is some cool funky shit going on in this one. Great bass middle and a subtle breakdown that accentuates the main riffs when they kick back in. The couple of bluesy breaks in this are just really fun and unique. This could easily be a long-cruise track.

04 “The Hidden Masters“ - 95 out of 100
Holy Black Sabbath Batman! Beautiful and one I can see becoming a favorite track for a lot of people. I will admit that I had to look this track name up to see if it was some Sabbath song they were covering that I didn't remember. Yeah, so that happened.

05 “Dying Earth“ - 93 out of 100
The song starts off promising but really takes off around the 1:45 mark. Interesting vocal melody, beat, and riffs. Best part is the final 2 minutes with some dueling guitars, classic metal riffages, and two leads that kick into the coolest ending in the history of mankind! Or 2012. Whichever.

06 “Execrator“ - 94 out of 100
Haunting, dark, doomy vocals and riffs. It pumps out and into my ears like blood draining out of the sliced vein of a dying combatant. Short, to the point, and killer.

07 “Seven Sisters“ - 90 out of 100
Really impressed by the clean break at the one minute mark. Everything on this album feels so organic. Like they didn't try to toss anything in just because it was cool. The songs naturally go in a direction because whatever it is that inspires genius willed them there. This one has a nice Sabbath feel to it while retaining that modern touch that defines The Sword. So far, these guys haven't made any mistakes. Could this be the album of the year?

08 “Hawks & Serpents“ - 75 out of 100
This seems to be coming from a very different head-space from the rest of the album. If there is a track that doesn't feel like it belongs, it is this one. I just can't get into it. Reminds me too much of music a lot of local bands that never made it wrote in the 80s. Uninspired.

09 “Eyes Of The Stormwitch“ - 84 out of 100
I dig the melody and the music is good but there is no real moment of holy-shit-this-is-awesome like with the first seven tracks. That's not to say it won't grow on me and in a year end up as my favorite track, but as of this writing it doesn't do that.

10 “Apocryphon“ - 93 out of 100
The kitchen-sink song where they just toss everything at you. And it works. Gallopgallopgallop8bitmusicsabbathgroovegallopgallopmelodygallopphaserdrumsgroove!!! Now that's how you close out an album! Greatness earned!


Total rating:

 91 out of 100

Fantastic stuff. And to think, I may love it even more in a year. So, as an initial rating, that is pretty impressive. Where does it rank when compared to other The Sword albums? I don't know. Talk to me in five years.

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