Writer: Babydoll
This week on "Curb Your Enthusiasm", we learn that black people all look alike to white people until one moves into your home and starts eating your food and spending your money. We also learn that breast reduction is no laughing matter and that it possibly might be worse than the Tet Offensive. Finally, we learn that battered women are surprisingly sensitive and have developed some sort of "victimized" persona - who woulda thunk it, eh?
So in a nutshell, on this week's episode entitled "The Safe House", a couple of things go down:
1. Larry realizes that the women that he's pestered are battered women living in a safe house next to his. Being the generous guy that he is, he lets them use his washing machine even though some of them clearly didn't deserve it. One of these ladies is a bit "hefty" and Larry wonders how in god's name is it possible to bring her down? Seriously, chica looks like Rosie O'Donnell. No one messes with Rosie and gets away with it : ask Elizabeth Hasselbeck or Donald Trump.
2. Larry is asked to keep an eye on this guy's macbook while he goes outside for a minute. Larry, tired of waiting, asks a black guy to keep an eye on it. Madness ensues: the computer is taken by the black guy, Larry sees a black dude on a Macbook and assumes it's the same guy until he gets a closer look ("Computers all look the same!" he says to the guy... great save, Larry "the burlesque dermatologist"). Finally, the computer is returned to Larry so that it can go to it's rightful owner. Too bad for black guy number one who gets mistaken for Leon who is wrongfully accused of domestically abusing Larry by punching him in the face.
3. Richard's "aussie yet living in America too long that the accent's softened" burlesque dancer girlfriend decides to get her boobs reduced after having them checked out by a doctor because Larry said that he spotted a mole on one of them. Not a fantastic storyline but it's always nice to be reminded how much men really do love breasts.
Babydoll's "by the way":
-I can't put the name on the actor who's computer was stolen but I never realized just HOW MUCH dude looks like a chubby Michael Sheen.
-That battered lady who's dog shits on Larry's lawn is always on Funny or Die. She's a sketch-comedy actress I want to say? Speaking of that woman, she's a good actress cos I literally wanted to punch her lights out.
-That breast-cancer free burlesque dancer wouldn't have been as charming if she had been American. Oh, and Larry David should put on his calling-card "Breast Whisperer".
-On breast reduction: unless the pain is excrutiating and you're one bad bra away from looking like the hunchback of Notredame, think twice before downsizing from a super-sized meal to a happy meal, because people will get hurt, and your chances of getting laid will plummet faster than the greek economy.
-Pink Slipper Burlesque is a really shnazzy looking joint - the woman behind Larry and the boys looked like she had just come from Whole Foods after dropping her kids off at ballet and tap.
-My swearing capacity triples after every episode of Curb thanks to Leon.
-Leon comes in at the end of the episode with Chinese...which is exactly what he walked in with, a couple of seasons ago, as a sign that he was staying when the Black's moved out. BITCH KNOWS HER CURB... and is extremely attentive to detail.
Curb Your Political Correctness:
-"YOU GAVE IT TO A BLACK GUY? Why wouldn't you give it to a black person?"
-Leon: "I feel f***ing bad now, you trust that black mother f***er. I could have stolen from ya mother f***er now but I didn't...All that shit I f***in' know...your mom's maiden name, RATNER!"
-"Who turns f***ing blue? Black's don't f***ing blush!"
