More after the jump.
What the fuck does that even mean? After the jump. Sounds like I expect everyone to fuckin' parachute out of a goddam airplane before reading this piece of shit article. Why do people still say this shit? After the jump? Is the author indicating that to get into the mood of the article that a gravity defying leap is required? Are we supposed to exercise? Why even fuckin' say it?! I'll tell you why! TO BE ASSHOLES!
Oooooh, look at me! I learned journalistic lingo! After the jump! Now I am motherfuck legitimate, bitches! You have to slirp my cuntycock because I done tapped into the deep well of studied rules that determine levels of integrity and shit!
After the jump? Why was this ever necessary? In the olden days of newspapers... yes, they used to write shit on paper. I am not kidding. We didn't have iPads back then. We murdered trees instead and then printed words on them and then tossed them away and didn't even recycle that shit. AND WE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
What was I saying? Oh yeah, in the olden days of newspapers, when 9-year olds delivered MASSIVE FUCKIN' FIRE HAZARDS directly to your home, and were then expected to go house to house once a week to BILL YOUR LAZY ASS, and have to literally hound you for TWO FUCKIN' DOLLARS (this is not a joke) for months, and then, when you dickholes didn't pay, were expected to PAY OUT OF POCKET to the newspaper slagbags who hired them so they didn't lose any money..........
But I digress.
What I have been trying to say is that when newspapers had articles that would have more words than available space on the same page, newspapers would indicate that the article continued on in another part of the paper by directing them that there was "more after the jump." This wasn't even moderately successful which is why, when the Internet thingy happened, some enterprising douchebags decided to bring it back to indicate that a story either continued via a hyperlink, or after an advertisement on the page.
Because, as you know, when the Internet and online advertisements first impressed themselves on the masses, the notion of clicking on shit, or scrolling half an inch down, was foreign to people. But why do people still use it today? To be shitbags, pure and simple. SHITBAGS! Actual bags of shits that are then used as feed for the cows that poop out the milk you pour into your coffee every morning.
There is no other reason.
So, when you find yourself reading an article that opens up with some bullshit and then tells you that there is more "after the jump," you should shit all over their shit. Shit into their mouths and pee into their eyeballs and then force yourself to vomit into a cup and then toss it into their faces!
Anyway, so why does MISFITS season 3 suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?
Because Nathan (Robert Sheehan) is no longer on the show. And the wanker they replaced him with has none of the charisma, acting ability, or fun of the dude he replaces. But worst of all, he ends up with a girl much hotter than Nathan ever did, and yet he is UGLY AS A BLOODY HEMORRHOID! Not to mention that he looks fourty-fuckin-three years old! I think the producers were sitting around smoking up some black tar crack cocaine or some shit, shooting up the marijuana, and freebasing beer when they decided to bring this cuntsmear onto the show. No wonder the actor who played Nathan quit the show. If this is what passes off as quality in the UK, then that fucker should run for the hills of the grand and glorious US of A and bask in the light of God's grace, called Hollywood.
What once was the greatest show of all time... from the UK... circa 2009-2010... about people with super powers... is now the biggest piece of shit ever and I quit this bitch.
In conclusion, our parents were idiots letting us deliver newspapers, 2 to 3 hours a day for 7-days a week, while making MAYBE $20 a week, and having to hustle for our money from adults who were too cheap to pay on time. Also, saying "after the jump" makes you a cunt.
Oh and the really cute chick the 43-year old ugly ass new guy is dating... dies. Thereby solidifying the worthlessness of this show. Spoiler.
I can't believe they replaced Sheehan with this tosser. Seriously! They replaced fuckin Robert fuckin' Sheehan with this horse's cock! Robert Sheehan, the dude from CHERRYBOMB! Yeah! You heard me. I didn't stutter. CHERRYBOMB!
Alright, so that movie sucked but not remotely as hard as his replacement on MISFITS..
I'm bringing "epic fail" back. It went away, right?
Head Geek Furious is a graduate of the Harvard School of Writing, with a MA in Journalism and a PhD in Manners. If you would like to contact him, take a number, stalker creep fuck.
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