Last night's killer episode brought us not one, not two, not three, not.... BUT SEVEN TIMELINES of awesomeness! This was easily the best episode of season 3 and arguably (we shall let time decide these things) a top 3 episode of the series.
There has been some debate between critics, fans, and douchefucks who smear monkey shit all over their bodies before putting their come-stained pudgy donut-grasping sausage-sized fingers on their perpetually sticky-from-projectile-launching-sweat-gland-deposits and opine their diabetic-coma diatribe all over the Internet assclowns, about the quality of this latest season. The writers answered that debate with a nuclear bomb of genius!
Let's cut to the chase, the episode is based around a party at Troy and Abed's new apartment. The study group members show up and eventually the pizza guy rings the doorbell. Jeff, in his infinite manipulative laziness, comes up with a way to decide who has to go downstairs to receive the yummies, by rolling a single dice. Seven people around a table... six sided dice? Hmmmm. Oh, Jeff!
As Jeff starts to roll, Abed points out that he is creating six different timelines. Jeff mocks the notion and rolls. The show then takes us on this epic ride!
Note: first timeline is not bolded since it is the first time happening. Subsequent timelines have bolded text to indicate a change from Timeline 1 or a significant change in the other timelines. Italics are used when a change in the timeline created a small change or when the timeline sequences have been exited.
Timeline 1 - Roll is 2: Annie
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Troy finds Annie's gun in her purse; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Shirley brings the pies to the table; Britta comes out of the bathroom and Abed is waiting in front of the door, and tells her that it smells weird inside; Annie arrives with the pizza and Britta rushes dramatically over to the food; Annie mentions that the pizza guy was super creepy.
Timeline 2 - Roll is 4: Shirley
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Jeff reminds everyone to not eat Shirley's pies; Jeff says he doesn't like being the bad guy, then as Britta starts to sing, he stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Jeff talks about not enabling Shirley's baking; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Troy is horrified to find the gift is a troll statue; Jeff laughs, then gets up and is hit in the head by the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie offers to look at the injury in the bathroom; Britta and Abed are ending their conversation in the bathroom; Shirley shows up with the pizzas; Britta rushes dramatically over to the food; Shirley asks if anyone remembered to take out her pies; Shirley pulls out her pies and they are all burnt; Jeff tells her she is not allowed to have baking things as an identity; Shirley yells at the group and storms out; upon slamming the door, the rolling rock in the Indiana Jones miniature begins to roll; Abed catches the rolling rock.
Timeline 3 - Roll is 3: Pierce
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Annie tells Troy she loves his place and that he's "all grown up now"; Jeff mocks Troy's maturity and Annie laughs with him; Troy gets up in anger and hits the Indiana Jones miniature, releasing the rock; Abed catches the rolling rock; Britta has her head out of the bathroom window smoking a marijuana cigarette when Troy knocks; Troy enters the bathroom and tells Britta he is a man; Annie tells Jeff he is a bit hard on Troy; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan; Annie offers to look at the injury in the bathroom; Abed tells them that Britta is in the bathroom; Annie and Jeff enter the kitchen where Shirley is taking out her pies; Annie and Jeff flirt and Shirley offers pie as a remedy which Jeff saarcastically shoots down; Britta and Troy talk about why Jeff is mean to him and that Jeff has a guarded personality; Pierce returns with the pizzas and mentions how unattractive the pizza guy was; Britta and Troy share a happy moment together while everyone else notices their bond and are puzzled.
Timeline 4 - Roll is 6: Britta
Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Abed remains at the table with Jeff, Troy, and Annie; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie takes Jeff into the bathroom to look at his injury; Troy and Abed have a friendly conversation; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming" gift; Jeff and Annie talk about her safety and how much Jeff cares about her; Troy screams and Jeff and Annie rush into the livingroom to find Pierce holding the troll, taunting a terrified Troy; Shirley interjects, followed by Abed commenting on why Pierce is behaving this way, and Pierce calls Abed crazy; Britta shows up with the pizza guy and tells the group they are in love and getting married.
Timeline 5 - Roll is 1: Troy
Troy rushes out of the apartment and slams the door, starting the rolling rock in the Indiana Jones miniature, Roxanne by the Police is already playing; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; the rolling rock falls to the floor; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie tells Jeff she will look at his injury in the bathroom; as Annie begins to walk she trips over the rolling rock, her purse goes flying as she falls on a nearby table and launches the content of the table onto the floor, breaking a bottle of alcohol; Pierce kicks the "housewarming gift" as the gun in Annie's purse fires, hitting Pierce in the thigh; Annie tries to apply first aid to Pierce as blood spurts out of his leg, hitting Shirley in the torso and face as she walks into the room with her pies; Britta comes rushing out of the bathroom with a lit marijuana cigarette in her mouth, opens her mouth wide in shock at what she sees and the cigarette falls onto the alcohol spill and lights on fire; the gift box is set on fire and Jeff tries to put out the apartment fire; Troy walks in with the pizzas and sees the carnage, then notices the now burnt box contains the troll he fears and reacts in horror.
Timeline 6 - Roll is 5: Abed
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Abed tells everyone he needs money for the pizzas; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt; Shirley checks on her pies without saying so; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Troy tells her it is down the hall; Jeff hits his head and Annie offers to look at it in the bathroom but Troy reminds her that Britta is in there; as Britta smokes, Annie and Jeff go into the kitchen where Shirley has just taken out her pies; Britta comes out of the bathroom and asks what smells so amazing; Shirkey excitedly reacts by taking the pies to Britta and letting her eat one; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Troy thanks Pierce and then expresses his gratitude over letting him stay with Pierce when he was without a place to live, while Shirley expressed to Britta that she feels baking is her only value to the group and Jeff tells Annie he worries about her; Pierce, feeling guilty, tries to prevent Troy from opening the gift; Britta mistakenly confesses that the group made a pact not to eat Shirley's pies, and that she is high, while Annie and Jeff kiss in the kitchen; Pierce and Troy fight over the gift while Britta and Shirley argue about drugs and pies, while Jeff and Annie kiss; Annie admits something Jeff said reminded her of her dad and Jeff judges her on lip-gloss use; Troy sees the troll and yells at Pierce to die alone, as Abed shows up with the pizzas.
Timeline 7 - Roll is stopped by Abed
Abed gives a speech about randomness/chaos etc, talking about everyone in the group and then pointing out the Jeff's system of choosing who goes for pizza made it so he never has to go; Jeff proudly laughs as the group reacts with different levels of disgust; Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Jeff goes to get the pizzas and says "Like it matters who goes", then hits his head on the ceiling fan as everyone laughs; Troy uses airplane bathroom as a metaphor for Jeff but Pierce does not take the opportunity to talk about Eartha Kitt; Shirley goes to get her pies; Britta sings Roxanne and the group joins her in dancing and singing; Pierce tosses the "housewarming gift" out of the window; Jeff returns with the pizzas and notes that the fun the group is having is what happens when he is not around, then eats pizza while he watches the group have fun.
Episode Ending - Based on Timeline 5
Pierce is dead; Annie is in a mental hospital; Jeff is missing an arm; Shirley is an alcoholic; Troy is missing his larynx and has a voice box; Britta has a blue streak in her hair; Abed discusses how they can go to the prime timeline and make their evil selves part of the prime; Jeff storms out with Britta and Shirley.
Exit Timelines
Troy and Abed are sitting in their pajamas in their apartment watching television and eating popcorn; Abed is aware that something is different but doesn't know what, then dismisses the feeling.
So what does it all mean? Apparently Jeff is the personality that stifles their fun. Troy and Britta are one talk away from either a great friendship or falling for each other. Annie has a father-like crush on Jeff, who himself is hot for her but doesn't want the obvious attraction reasons to be so obvious. Pierce still wants to be appreciated. Shirley feels like an outsider and tries too hard to seem significant to the group. Abed is a genius... but we already knew that!
What did you think? What did you take away from the episode?
Oh and if I had to rate it...
98 out of 100!
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