SUPERNATURAL - Sam Gets Married

This is my first ever episode review/recap/whatever about this show and perhaps it will be my last. That depends on the amount of hits I get. Yep, I won't bullshit you. I'm in this for the hits!

And the ego boost. Because at the core of me, and all humans if you are honest, is being heard, seen, and recognized. But let me do more writing about the show and less about me... for now.

I have been watching this show since season 4 when a fellow LOST and CHUCK fan turned me onto it. I have had the chance to go back and catch up on the episodes I missed, and there has always been one very specific reason why I have continued to watch:

Dean Winchester.

Not Sam and Dean. Just Dean. Not that I dislike Sam, but I don't give two shits about him in the grand scheme of things. I care that Dean cares about him, and I care how Sam affects Dean, but otherwise this is the Dean Winchester show for me and that is all it will ever be... and if they ever kill him off, I will quit this show the way I quit MISFITS once Nathan left. No goodbye, no see you later, just gone like Will Hunting. But of course they will never actually kill Dean off so I guess I am stuck watching until season 20.

Having said all that, this is an episode with a focus on Sam and that's fine with me. This episode tosses Dean right into a mission of being the best man at his brother's wedding. And who is Sam marrying? Becky! Their biggest fan (from one of my favorite meta episodes ever, on any show, even COMMUNITY). Yeah, this can't possibly go wrong, can it?

It seems that Becky has a need and that need is to show off that she isn't Yucky Becky anymore, as she drags Sam to her high school reunion sign-up to impress her former classmates, Tweets about it to the planet, and uses her friend-the-witch to make it all happen. The skank!

I admit, it is a bit creepy fun watching Becky try to hang onto Sam's illusion of their love. But I don't buy for a second that Dean wouldn't have figured out the problem in 12-seconds. Dean is not just a gorgeous hunk who is superior in every way but height, hair, and sideburns to his brother, but he is also pretty smart for a walking, talking slab of mega-balls. He should have immediately grunted his displeasure, downed a keg, inhaled a dozen donuts, ravaged some burgers, and then shot Becky in the face! Thankfully, Dean isn't made to look like a total idjit as he turns up his attitude to 11 when Becky starts working a case with Sam.

Dean: Alright, listen cookie. I don't know what kind of mojo you're working, but believe me, I will find out!

Sam behaves like the little bitch-baby that he is by going all emo on his bro, but this just makes Dean more determined to put an end to the hellfest that is the Becky/Sam marriage. Dean is sure there is some kind of witchery about and that people are receiving their big dreams that result in death, and that this must somehow be tied to his sister-in-law.

After some story stuff happens, Dean and that skinny dude from those movies you saw when you were totally wasted discover that people are selling their souls to a demon but the contract is being collected on at an accelerated rate. Meanwhile, Sam is in and out of love, so he gets knocked out by his bride. Excitement!

When Sam wakes up, he is tied up in Becky's bed, missing his pants, and a horny Becky frantic about running out of love potion. Becky's insane delusions are pretty funny, especially when she substitutes Sam's muffled "Fuck you!"

Becky: (waving) I love you too!

But of course her witch buddy is a demon who wants her soul in exchange for more love potion. But she is so dense that even when he tells her there is a price, she still thinks he is her friend.

Demon Guy: Ohhohohoho, honey! That is so depressingly... Becky. I mean, it's.. you're so pathetic it actually loops back around again to cute.

But Becky isn't totally dumb for long as she realizes she is dealing with a crossroads demon who is preying on the weakness of reunionites. However, she appears to dumb it up when offered a sweetheart deal by the demon: eternal love from Sam.

When Becky returns to her bed-bound-beloved, we get a fun meta line about the show.

Becky: Well, this is not how I imagined spending my reunion. I was gonna show you off. Not that anyone actually knows who you are. SUPERNATURAL is not exactly.. popular...

Well said, Becky. Truer words... truer words.

Oh wait, here come more meta truer words from the Beckster!

Becky: Honestly, the only place people understood me was the message boards. They were grumpy and overly literal but at least we shared a common passion.

Message board reject slap-down, baby!

So Becky pretends to sell her soul to the demon but it's a setup and Dean and his brother, along with the skinny dude, ambush him. But guess what, kiddies? The demon isn't stupid and double ambushes the ambushers right into an ambush... or whatever. Obviously Dean is the first to fight back while Sam relaxes on the floor playing with his freakboy sideburns. Come on, Sam. Get in the game you lazy shit! Lucky for him, his wife saves the day since we all know Sam would have just chilled there until death returned him to the hell-rape-cell he so dearly longs for every dreaming second of the day.

But just when the Winchesters are about to win the day, Romo Lampkin shows up out of nowhere. And he doesn't disappoint, delivering one of the best lines of the night.

Romo Crowley: This isn't Wallstreet! This is Hell! We have a little something called integrity.

Apparently he isn't happy at all with the expedited soul-contracts. He also reveals that he has been keeping the demons off the Winchesters' backs to help them (or, not hinder them) in their hunt for the Leviathan thingies.

As the episode closes out, Becky and Sam annul their marriage... of course. Too bad, I think this is the best Sam should be able to get: an average looking crazy fangirl who needs love potion to get her freak on with his hippy sideburns.

If I had to rate this episode, I would give it:

82 out of 100.

It was lighthearted, meta, and fun but nothing of much substance happened other than finding out that Crowley has a horse in this race. Still, Dean was in it and that always makes for a good episode.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

Ad Agencies Predict next season's ratings

Writer: MediaSavant

The June 27th, 2011 issue of Advertising Age had a chart of predictions of Household ratings for next season on the major broadcast networks.

The predictions reflect C3 ratings and were averaged from submissions by media agencies—these are agencies that plan and buy media campaigns for advertisers. A “C3” rating is the rating that programs get during commercial minutes within three days of airing. C3 ratings are the currency on which advertising costs are based. They are most similar in size to Live + SD ratings, but rarely exactly the same.

You might be interested in how several geek shows fared in these predictions.

Person of Interest: 7.09
Castle: 5.55
Glee: 4.39 (included because they are at SDCC next week)
Terra Nova: 4.11
A Gifted Man: 3.83
Alcatraz: 3.75
Family Guy: 3.73
The River (mid-season): 3.30
Grimm: 2.30
Awake (mid-season): 2.2
Fringe: 2.16
Community: 1.97
Chuck: 1.97
Vampire Diaries: 1.27
Supernatural: 1.11
The Secret Circle: 1.05
Nikita: 1.01
Ringer 0.76 (included because its Sarah Michele Gellar and at SDCC)

It should be noted that because these are household ratings, shows that tend to have older audiences usually do very well.

Chuck fans may wonder how the predicted 1.97 for Friday at 8PM compares to Monday last season. It’s quite a drop. Chuck’s season 4 finale episode scored a 2.6 Live + SD household rating. Chuck’s replacement on Monday—The Sing-Off—is predicted to get a 3.4, which is higher than Chuck got last 4th quarter (3.2 average).

The “Person of Interest” prediction appears to be quite high to me. I’ve seen that pilot and wasn’t that enamored with it. I’m just not a Jim Caviezel fan. But, CBS claims it “tested well” and it gets CSI’s old timeslot. Everything else in the timeslot skews younger. So, maybe it will do well with the older folk.

If there are any other questions about what’s listed here, please comment below.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

Top 10 Geek Furious of HOT!

Writer: Head Geek Furious

Simple. 10 HOTTEST people in geek furious culture, ever. I made a list, I checked it twice and I made sure they were very naughty and not too nice. There was no intention of making this the top 5 men and top 5 women list. It just grew organically. Don't like it? Then tell me what you would change or who you would add.  Hotness here is the sum of a character's physical beauty, sexiness, attitude, and strength (in all its levels).

10. Lois Lane - SMALLVILLE

I can't... stop... staring.

Do I like this show? Hell no. Do I see any reason why someone should waste ten seasons on this ridiculous mess of a joke? No way. But do I see why someone watched at least one season just to follow the hotness that is this badass chick? OH YES.

I watched the first and last seasons of what I came to call LOISVILLE and only stuck with it for that last season because of this Canadian goddess. She is like sexy sex on a sticky stick (why do I want to make that into a hip hop song or punch myself in the face for writing it at all?). I don't understand why the writers didn't just put her in every scene, or have her take more showers. After all, she lives in the big city and on a farm. Doesn't she feel dirty? Isn't it bath time?

9. Captain Mal Reynolds - FIREFLY/SERENITY

Unlike a leaf on the wind, Mal kills sexy.

The man who aims to misbehave is the same guy who stole the hearts of both the ladies and the lads with his badassness and general cool. Creator Joss Whedon's pretty obvious homage to Han Solo has the man doing the things fans of Solo think he has done all along: shoot first and not bother with asking questions later.

He has the looks and all the badass, deadly, rogue, and nerf herder anyone needs while also being a charmer. He is just so damn cool when being a jerk and so shy and awkward when dealing with his feelings, that it makes him the guy you want to have by your side, whether he's trying to kill for you or kiss you.

8. Dean Winchester - SUPERNATURAL

Get him a burger, douche!

Oh Dean, you angry, murdering, fatty cheeseburger eating, binge drinking, sex crazed slut you. How do I say this without offending the little children or some SUPERNATURAL fans?

Your brother is a pretty boy pussy.

I feel better. Yeah, yeah. Sam is handsomerest and fan fic writers probably spent endless masturbatory hours fantasizing about him, but Dean is hotter. No doubt. In every badass mandly way, hotter.

7. Leeloo aka Leeloo Dallas - THE FIFTH ELEMENT

Touch my nipsies and die.

Heavenly creature of perfection, why doth thou looketh at me with those eyes of need and strength? I fear and want to possess you, my orange haired obsession.

Oh, uh, what happened?

Leeloo is gorgeous. Smoking hot. Badass. And also a frakin' planet destroying weapon. How much more badass and hot can a woman get? Well, apparently a little hotter since she is 7th on the list. But as much as I love this movie, I don't rewatch it over and over because I love Bruce Willis or that dude from the RUSH HOUR movies (though they are great). I watch it for Leeloo and her multipass (sexual metaphor).

6. Han Solo - STAR WARS (original trilogy)

I make everything look good.

There is probably a generational gap that has some people not understand why Han Solo is such a beloved character. But I think those who didn't grow up with him, or weren't around when he first appeared on movie screens, should consider what the world was like before Han Solo was in it. There just weren't that many good guys who were bad but saved the day while being super cool about it and got the girl and kicked ass and took names. Or perhaps there weren't any before Han Solo. He was the mold for Mal Reynolds, James Sawyer, and that new guy on FALLING SKIES.

Should he have been higher on the list? Sure. But I have new obsessions that bumped him down a bit.

5. James 'Sawyer' Ford - LOST

I exist to look pretty and deal out death.

Another Han Solo wannabe, Sawyer has some things that Solo never had. Other than great writing and just more material to work with, Sawyer also got a real arc that gave his character a more fitting end than the ballznipped Han Solo in "Return of the Jedi." But what makes him hotter than Han is those pretty blue eyes. They are blue, right? Yeah. I am sure of it. Right? Green? Whatever.  Killing is his business and business is pretty damn good for a while.

4. Six - BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

Baltar is one lucky sod.

Not only beautiful, sexy, and an incredibly well written and acted character, Six (in her many different glories) is easily one of the hottest characters in the geek universe. Or any universe for that matter.

She wears skimpy outfits. She has lots and lots and lots of sexy sex. She looks stunning most of the time. Oh and she can kick ass, take names, take more names while kicking ass, and then call your family to warn them that she is going to kill all of them while taking down more names of people you may know from childhood while doing it.

The reason she isn't higher on the list is simply because she had less and less sex and didn't do enough strip teasing or killing as the series went on. She could have been #1 if they had just utilized her hotness more.

3. Slavegirl Leia - STAR WARS, EPISODE VI, RETURN OF THE JEDI

I need a minute alone, please. 30 seconds?

You youngins can't possibly understand this... but this image is still one of the hottest things in the universe. Hell, this could easily be #1 but I felt it was unfair to give the highest position to a character that is only in a portion of one of the movies in a series of movies. But that is how hot and how life affecting her hotness was in this virtually short sequence in the series.

Men and women around the planet of Earth have based entire fantasies, relationships, and even life decisions on this character/costume. That is how powerful the imagery of Leia in this metal bikini was on us kiddies back in 1983. It was like having a mind probe inject hotness into our brainz while sucking out our innocence at the same time.

But not only was metal bikini clad Leia a bonfire of epic proportions but she was also pretty deadly in it, taking out the biggest organized crime kingpin in the history of film.  Literally.  The biggest.  And she didn't do it nice and clean either, she choked a bitch! All these things should have put her at #1 if not for...

2. Pacey Poof 'Peter' Bishop - FRINGE

What have you done to me, Pacey Poof?

Peter makes me wish I was a girl, or a fancy boy. It shouldn't be wrong that a heterosexual male finds himself crazily attracted to another heterosexual male. I mean, what is it about Olivia anyway that I don't have? Other than lady parts. Huh? Answer me, Pacey!

To understand the hotness of Mr. Bishop, you will just need to watch the show but he has a confidence, a simmer, a manliness about him that transcends genders or sexuality.  Plus, he is happy to ninja kill shape shifters.  I want to be in his arms while he whispers sweet sexy, like a meow meow (TM, 1998) to me.


And the Top Geek Furious of Hot is... (at least until I find a new obsession and change the list):

1. Sarah Walker - CHUCK

Mama told me I'd fall for a gun wielding belt bound girl some day.

Come on, this was a no-brainer. There is no one hotter. Let's just first talk about the gorgeousness. She is a stunner. And sure, some would say she has imperfections but that is what makes her so frakin' attractive. She is like the most amazing looking girl next door who would never live next door to you because some billionaire would have swept her off her feet and married her the second he caught wind of her on Facebook.

And how about her sexy? She has it in spades. In shovels. In Millennium Falcons even. And the show utilizes her physical assets every chance it gets. Hell, not enough. Every episode should be an excuse for Sarah Walker to try on a new hot outfit or to undress for no apparent reason whatsoever. Why hold back, writers? Hotness doesn't grow on trees.

Slavegirl Sarah? Yes!

And I didn't even talk about how much fun it is to watch her character. Whether it is her tough exterior or sweet and tender inner workings, the woman is a sometimes complex mess of emotions brought on by a tough upbringing.

But while her badassy ways are pretty great and definitely a worthy part of the hotness title, it is the sweet turmoil of kindness within her that has made many CHUCK fans fall in love with her. Sure, she is a tough chick and she can certainly kick some big time ass (unless her opponent is a woman, because then she will likely get her ass kicked a little bit) but it is her romantic compass forcing her head away from brute force (unless you kidnap her man, that is) and into considering less deadly ways to resolve things that makes her so memorable.

Geek love calmed the hot savage beast. And that deserves the number one position on this list.

Tipsy southern belle Sarah may be the hottest thing ever.

And yet there is one more thing that earns her the title. And that is her comedy. Who knew that Sarah Walker was so funny? Well, for the most part, we didn't until the middle of season 3 when in arguably the best episode of the series (3.14, Chuck Vs. The Honeymooners), Sarah (or Yvonne) revealed her comedic side. From that point on, super dramatic Sarah Walker took a step back and still dramatic but having a lot more fun Sarah 'Don't call me Sam' Walker appeared. And the world is better off for it.

This ruined my chance of getting married. No human woman can measure up! Thanks Schwedak!

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE