Review - WILFRED 2.10: 'Honesty'

Tackling a plot point from the previous season, Ryan and Wilfred try to help Jenna elevate her career following her "squishy tits" meltdown.

We discover that Ryan's company was burned by insider spying. His dad takes the case and Squishy Tits asks Ryan if he can talk to his dad to get her an exclusive, helping her troubled career.

Meanwhile, when Wilfred gets scratched by a cat, he kidnaps a bunch of kitties as payback. Ryan sees this as an opportunity help Jenna without having to talk to his dad. But when the story doesn't inspire Jenna, Ryan lies about having talked to his father for her.

Later, Jenna calls Ryan to tell him that she received an email with proof that a maniac has kidnapped the cats and will send her a video of their murder. Clearly Wilfred is the culprit, though since this is all some craycray manifestation of Ryan's mind, his guilt-ridden loony mind is the twisted catnaper.

But at least Tits has her big story now.

Since Ryan can't confess the truth to Jenna about his part in her on-air meltdown, he goes with the more logical option and makes the cat-killer video. But when Wilfred isn't happy with the creative process, he sends Jenna some artsty version in its place. She doesn't react well to that and tells Ryan it is the end of her career which forces him to admit the truth to stop her from quitting. Jenna reacts badly to the news.

The lesson? LIVE THE LIE! The truth will not set you free. Though, it will free up some me-time since no one will be your friend.

Actually, by knowing the truth Jenna is able to put together a serious story about drugs that look like candy. She then confessed to Ryan that she used him because of his crush for her. They hug. All ends well.

QUOTABLES

Ryan: What the hell is going on? Why are their cats in a pit in my basement?!
Wilfred: Why, Ryan? Because they took everything from me!

Wilfred: Do you remember the scratch on my face, Ryan?
Ryan: The one that's still there? Yes.

Wilfred: Well who's meowing now, bitches?!
Ryan: There's six cats in there. Which one scratched you?
Wilfred: Does it matter, Ryan? They've all scratched someone!

Ryan: Maybe there'll be a feel good ending. Like all the cats are found safe.
Wilfred: Or sex-butchered by a psychopath.

Ryan: There is no cat-killer video! Jenna is gonna be humiliated all over again. And this time she'll give up her dream!
Wilfred: Well maybe she wouldn't be so hard on herself if someone came clean and told her she's not responsible for destroying her own career!
Ryan: [disgusted] We're making the cat-killer video aren't we?
Wilfred: We are!

If I had to rate this episode, and a set of tits that go squish say I do, then I'd give it:

90 out of 100

Wilfred's meltdown during their attempt at shooting the cat-killer video should become an Internet meme any day now... well, it would if anyone on this goddam planet had any goddam sense! You're not goddam children anymore! You're goddam grownups! Make your goddam meme now! You goddam sluts!

Please have your cats put down before it's too late.

I can't believe I almost wrote a review.

UPDATE! Now with the cat-video shoot meltdown video (until FX takes it down).

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Review - WILFRED 2.07: 'Avoidance'

FX says: Wilfred and Ryan's friendship is threatened during a sticky encounter.

• Ryan's former friend, James, reenters his life.
• Ryan discovers he is not Wilfred's best friend.
• We discover that Wilfred's first time was with a badly injured accident victim.
• We get a dance montage with Ryan and Wilfred.
• Wilfred manipulates Ryan into... manipulating him all over Ryan.
• There's remnants of Wilfred juice all over Ryan's face.
• Ryan and Wilfred argue as the doggie tries to get more treats.
• Eventually Ryan finds out that Wilfred's idea of a treat isn't a hand-job.
• Apparently Wilfred has been ejaculating all over Ryan's house and in the mayonnaise jar.
• Ryan and Lando hash things out.

QUOTING WILFRED

Wilfred: Ryan, where are you going?! Wait, is this because I jizz blasted you?

Wilfred grabs Ryan.
Ryan: What are you doing?!
Wilfred: (forcefully) I'm dancing! And after we dance, I get my treat (makes a jerking off motion with his hand)!

Ryan talking on the phone to Amanda about going to Comic-Con.
Ryan: No, I'd dress up. I could totally pass as Harry Potter.

Ryan: Goddammit, Wilfred! I will not let you ejaculate all over me again! (noticing a neighbor walking by) Hi, Sara.

Wilfred: Wait, that's what's been bothering you this whole time? You thought I wanted you to rip the neck off it?

RATING
If I had to rate this episode, and a blast of jizz says I do, then I'd give it:

92 out of 100

Gets an extra 5 points for the Harry Potter joke since Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe have something of a history of being mistaken for the other. An overall funny episode with some grossness tossed in. We also get a bit more of background on Ryan's issues with his dad. And the episode ends on a Ryan/Wilfred dance routine, followed by a blowjob prank. Does it get any better than that?

What did you think?

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Review - WILFRED 2.06: 'Control'

I didn't review last week's episode of WILFRED because I hated it. So does this week's please me more?

Amanda and Jenna meet. A video of a wasted Jenna goes viral as 'Squishy Tits'. Ryan has a couple's dinner party. Things go badly. Amanda then tells everyone her very sad and gory dog story. And Wilfred finally gets to "meet" her.

QUOTING WILFRED

Wilfred: Come on treasure. I know you're under there somewhere, you dick!

Jenna: They just played 'Squishy Tits' on Howard Stern!

Ryan: What are you doing here?
Wilfred: (holding a box) I brought desert. I found it in the most charming little French bakery's dumpster.
Ryan: (opening the box) There's nothing in here.
Wilfred: Of course there is. There's a giant grease stain. And a smidge of crusty whipped cream. I've already chewed up four of these boxes this week. After tonight I swear I'm going on a cleanse.

Wilfred: Yes, Bear. I heard you the first time. Six beers and Amanda is finally starting to look bone-able. Volume, Bear. Volume!

Jenna: I don't know if you've heard but there's this Internet video that's sort of ruining my life right now.
Amanda: (lying) Oh n... uh no. I haven't heard anything about it.
Drew: I'll send you the link.

If I had to rate this episode, and I don't want to, I'd give it:

77 out of 100

Not many lines of fun dialogue and the story just didn't work all that well. At least they didn't do something TV-stupid and make Amanda break up with Ryan, because in the real world shit like that doesn't happen just because your significant other lied to you. Well, unless the sex is bad.

I guess Ryan is okay in bed.

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