Tackling a plot point from the previous season, Ryan and Wilfred try to help Jenna elevate her career following her "squishy tits" meltdown.
We discover that Ryan's company was burned by insider spying. His dad takes the case and Squishy Tits asks Ryan if he can talk to his dad to get her an exclusive, helping her troubled career.
Meanwhile, when Wilfred gets scratched by a cat, he kidnaps a bunch of kitties as payback. Ryan sees this as an opportunity help Jenna without having to talk to his dad. But when the story doesn't inspire Jenna, Ryan lies about having talked to his father for her.
Later, Jenna calls Ryan to tell him that she received an email with proof that a maniac has kidnapped the cats and will send her a video of their murder. Clearly Wilfred is the culprit, though since this is all some craycray manifestation of Ryan's mind, his guilt-ridden loony mind is the twisted catnaper.
But at least Tits has her big story now.
Since Ryan can't confess the truth to Jenna about his part in her on-air meltdown, he goes with the more logical option and makes the cat-killer video. But when Wilfred isn't happy with the creative process, he sends Jenna some artsty version in its place. She doesn't react well to that and tells Ryan it is the end of her career which forces him to admit the truth to stop her from quitting. Jenna reacts badly to the news.
The lesson? LIVE THE LIE! The truth will not set you free. Though, it will free up some me-time since no one will be your friend.
Actually, by knowing the truth Jenna is able to put together a serious story about drugs that look like candy. She then confessed to Ryan that she used him because of his crush for her. They hug. All ends well.
QUOTABLES
Ryan: What the hell is going on? Why are their cats in a pit in my basement?!
Wilfred: Why, Ryan? Because they took everything from me!
Wilfred: Do you remember the scratch on my face, Ryan?
Ryan: The one that's still there? Yes.
Wilfred: Well who's meowing now, bitches?!
Ryan: There's six cats in there. Which one scratched you?
Wilfred: Does it matter, Ryan? They've all scratched someone!
Ryan: Maybe there'll be a feel good ending. Like all the cats are found safe.
Wilfred: Or sex-butchered by a psychopath.
Ryan: There is no cat-killer video! Jenna is gonna be humiliated all over again. And this time she'll give up her dream!
Wilfred: Well maybe she wouldn't be so hard on herself if someone came clean and told her she's not responsible for destroying her own career!
Ryan: [disgusted] We're making the cat-killer video aren't we?
Wilfred: We are!
If I had to rate this episode, and a set of tits that go squish say I do, then I'd give it:
90 out of 100
Wilfred's meltdown during their attempt at shooting the cat-killer video should become an Internet meme any day now... well, it would if anyone on this goddam planet had any goddam sense! You're not goddam children anymore! You're goddam grownups! Make your goddam meme now! You goddam sluts!
Please have your cats put down before it's too late.
I can't believe I almost wrote a review.
UPDATE! Now with the cat-video shoot meltdown video (until FX takes it down).
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