01 November, 2013

The Plopper Reviews - COVERT AFFAIRS 4.13: 'No. 13 Baby'

I may have jinxed myself last week when I said I'm still enjoying Covert Affairs more than Homeland.

Never in the entirety of this series did I think I’d ever be yelling at Annie to walk AWAY from Auggie’s door.  But I was tonight.  Emphatically.

O.k. look.  There’s two levels on which a TV show can piss me off:

Level 1: Giving us plotlines that are lame, not believable, drag on and on, or are otherwise obnoxious in one way or another.  This is forgivable to me for a certain period of time.  Depending on how much I love the characters, I will put up with it for quite a while actually, many times even to the end of the series.  Covert was on this level with me during eps 4.07-10, but it mostly recovered with 4.11-12.

Level 2: Making me lose respect for the main characters.  This, much more quickly than Level 1, can really be a dealbreaker for me.  It’s one thing if it’s a show like Breaking Bad, where the entire POINT of the show is for a character to turn bad.  But Breaking Bad, this ain’t.  See the thing is, it’s all about expectation.  There are characters that you expect to keep your respect throughout the series, and there are characters that you don’t.  It’s the characters that I love and respect that make me love the show.  If I stop liking those characters ... then ... yeah.  That’s a problem for me with the show itself.

The second this Helen character was introduced, I knew this was where this was going.  I knew that I’d eventually find myself losing at least some measure of respect for Auggie at some point in the season, and I knew it would be akin to all of the following moments for me, on other TV shows I once loved:

  • Vaughn waits 5 seconds before dating, becoming engaged to, and then marrying some other chick after Sydney disappears. (Alias)
  • Carrie decides it would be a great idea to DATE Brody after he was, you know, a goddamn terrorist. (Homeland)
  • Luke turns into a total wishy washy loser after his long lost daughter April (cousin Oliver) shows up in the last season or so of Gilmore Girls
  • Jax screws the porn chick in a purposeful attempt to make Tara dump him for good because he doesn’t want her to risk her life and career for him and the MC.  Tara then eventually goes back to him anyway.  Over this time period, I gradually wind up hating both characters.  By the end of season 4, I hate literally every character on the show except Opie.  I stop watching the show at that point, and my decision is validated extremely early in season 5. (SOA)

It didn’t turn out well for me and any of these shows in the end.  I kept going with them for a while afterwards ... some of them I even finished out ... but those moments proved the be the beginning of a downward spiral in every case.  I’m still waiting for Homeland to recover; we’ll see how that goes.  So far, not great.  Was this episode of Covert Affairs the one that will be the first toll of that same death knell?  I don’t know.  It’s way too soon to tell.  Once I love a show, I don’t give up easily, so we’ll have to wait and see with this one now.

But the thing is, it’s not even just that.  The other huge problem I have with this Helen storyline is ... actually, I think I can go back to my review of the freaking season 4 premiere to illustrate exactly where this went wrong for me.  I mentioned in that review that one thing I always loved about CA in the first 3 seasons was that it made us interested in the Annie/Auggie relationship withOUT focusing the entire show around it.  And as part of that, Covert Affairs was, really, refreshingly, NOT SOAPY.  It was SUCH a nice change of pace.  So naturally, the problem I’ve had with this Helen character from day 1 is that the entire reason for her existence on the show is to cause soapy drama.  And I could see it from the second Auggie told Annie about her existence, before she even showed up on screen.  We all saw it coming from miles and miles away.

And don’t try to give me some bullshit excuse about Helen being there to act as the catalyst to push Annie into going dark either, because they could have easily done that ANY other way, with ANY other character who had nothing to do with a freaking soapy LOVE TRIANGLE.  But here it is folks, Covert Affairs has now entered soap territory.  Which means it’s now just like every other obnoxious show out there.  And that’s exactly why I’m so disappointed.

Now, back to Auggie.  How does a character lose your respect?  Well that’s obviously completely subjective.  Certain people are willing to forgive certain actions more easily than others, and a lot of that depends on a) the context and circumstances of the situation and b) your own personality and life experiences.  And hell, I want characters who are flawed.  They’re not interesting to me if they’re not flawed.  There’s a reason I love Girls, much to HGF’s disapproval.  But everyone has a line that is considered “too far” if it’s crossed (even Girls started pushing up against that line for me at the end of S2).  For me, tonight, Auggie crossed that line.

If Auggie had some sort of definitive proof that Annie was not interested in seeing him again, I’d be a lot more forgiving of what he did.  But he didn’t.  He had ONE comment from Calder that Calder practically *spelled out to him* that he was lying to keep A&A from ruining the mission.  Not anywhere near enough to be like, “Ope ... o.k. snaps well I guess that whole Annie thing is over with!  Calder told me to let her go so I guess I will!!  Next?”  Also, it took Auggie what ... THREE conversations with Helen to sway him from “I have zero interest in you anymore” to “Let’s bang”!!??  REALLY, Auggie??  You’re that easy?  You’re that weak of character to just whip it right out of your pants so quickly with someone else when your girlfriend leaves you to your own devices??  O.k. fine, I know faking your death is different than just being on a business trip or some shit, but whatever.  This is the spy world dammit, faking your death and going on a business trip are essentially the same damn thing!!  He knew Annie was alive IN TOWN & working to complete the damn mission.  She even delivered that laptop TO HIM!!  He didn’t even give her a damn chance to work out her shit in D.C.!  No, Auggie, NO.  NOT cool.  NOT.  EFFING.  COOL.  If you were my boyfriend, well, you would not be after this.  I’d be DUNZO, baby.  I’d immediately be off to Israel for the best revenge f*ck of my life with Eyal.  (Hey Annie – hint hint!!)

Hahaha lord, I tried really hard to not get too angry/emotional in this review, but this ep was clearly intended to mess with our emotions, so I am reacting accordingly.  Whew.  O.k. I am going to now try to sit back and look at the rest of the episode objectively.  Up until minute 38, I was enjoying the ep pretty well.  On the whole, I can at least give it one thing – It was a LOT better than the other Helesa-heavy episode: 4.07.  4.07 was very poorly plotted and poorly executed at that.  For the most part, I didn’t have this problem with 4.13.  Well, not too much anyway.  It had its issues – like why the hell did Violet give up the info about Hillcrest to Annie after 2 seconds of talking to her??  She didn’t know her from Adam at that point!!  And how the hell was Deric Hughes working for the CIA when he was busy blowing up helicopters full of innocent civilians for Henry??  I suppose the DCI must be in cahoots with Henry, otherwise he wouldn’t even be allowed in the building?  I don’t even know at this point.  It’s so convoluted.  Oh and how did the DOJ peeps even KNOW that Joan gave Annie the go-ahead to use extraordinary measures with Teo in Colombia??  Did she document that somewhere?  Maybe ... I suppose it could’ve been in her best interest in terms of explaining that mission to the higher-ups?

The Corvette scene ... and the bus scene.  They were both beautiful scenes.  But from the second the Corvette came on screen I could just feel the writers trying to butter me up.  Turns out I was right.  They were setting me up just to rip my heart to shreds a few scenes later.  And for Auggie NOT to recognize via smell or something that it was Annie sitting next to him on the bus, and likewise for Annie not to tap him on the leg or give him SOME LITTLE HINT ... was ridiculous.  Auggie has blind guy super senses and Annie has a brain in her damn head!  For the audience to be in-the-know on things that Auggie wasn’t for this whole episode ... that always makes for an extremely frustrating experience for the viewer.  I’ve never been a fan of that story-telling device myself.

And then in the end, we had the whole, “Helen sacrifices herself for Annie” bit.  Did the writers think this would make us like her?  I’m unclear.  It didn’t even come within 500 miles of the ballpark of working for me though.  And would Henry really be dumb enough to not suspect Annie and Jessica Matthews are one and the same??  I mean ... I suppose that must be one of the possibilities he had running through his head up until that moment.  And why did Helen do it in the first place?  A character that manipulative wouldn’t then turn around and be that much of a heroic and selfless saint.  The only motive I can think of is that she kinda lost the will to go on after realizing that Auggie only wanted to poke her for the night rather than to be her husband again.  Whatever it is, I just could not possibly give less of a crap about it/her.  She was never made to be a likeable character, so I can’t then be expected to suddenly care about her fate.  Other than to just be glad she’s dead.

O.k., just a few last points before I end this:

  • I was in such a daze after the Auggie/Helesa boning scene that I couldn’t even appreciate Barber’s g-ride.  It would otherwise be amusing though.
  • As hate-able as Calder was earlier this season, and as much as I wanted to kill him for trying to manipulate Auggie into thinking Annie was done with him in the gym scene, I also don’t blame him for the way this episode went.  He was only trying to protect the damn mission from mushy-gushy A&A lovebird disaster.  Auggie has NO ONE to blame for letting himself fall for such an obvious trick but himself.  No one.  Auggie, you are a class A idiot.
  • I can’t even with Joan and Arthur right now.  I can’t concentrate on them.  Some stuff happened.  They had a plan.  It backfired immediately and now they’re just pissed at each other.  I mainly found that turn of events to be obnoxious.  I just want to make some damn progress on getting Henry.

I'm still so discombobulated by this ep I’m not going to be very objective on my grade.  I understand that what the writers were going for was the fact that faking your own death has consequences on your personal life.  Huge consequences.  I totally get that.  I just wish it hadn’t all gone down in such a soapy manner.  I wish it wasn’t something I could see coming for months in advance.  Any TV fanatic has seen this millions of times before.  It’s so cliché.  I wish the writers had properly built Auggie’s situation to a point of being sufficiently desperate and dire on the Annie front, so that screwing Helesa would be more understandable and forgivable.  I really don’t think it would’ve been that difficult to do, with Annie being “dead” and all.  But for some reason they chose not to do that.

Grade: 60

This is the same grade I retroactively gave 4.07 at the end of the summer season.  Like I said, 4.13 was much better plotted and executed, but what it represents and confirms for me in regards to this season as a whole is a much bigger problem.  That’s not saying that the last 3 eps of S4 can’t be good and redeem it at least somewhat, but I won’t know till I see ‘em.  The way Annie handles this will be the absolute key for me in those eps.  What do you guys think?  Tell me in the comments.

And, well, there is one bright side here.  When is Eyal coming back??  Because OH boy, I can’t WAIT for that shiz.

The Plopper


  1. I disagree on almost every point.
    Except the part where this was written better than Crackity Jones. That I agree with.

    1. Yes this ep was waaaaaaaay better than Crackity Jones, in terms of pure plotting and execution. Other than that, I agree with my review on almost every point.

      I just had to look up the Sons of Anarchy example I gave to see if I was remembering that wrong ... but actually it's right. I was thinking it happened in S4 though and it was actually S3. Anyway but yeah then in that case, I'm pretty sure I do agree with my review on every point. Maybe in a less ranty "I just watched the ep and I'm so pissed" way. But I'm still not thrilled. Again it depends on how the next 3 eps play out though. They could make me more forgiving or they could just make me more mad. Time will tell.

  2. Well, after reading this maryploppins, I have to sort my thoughts first. My thoughts - trying to do it in English, hopefully this don’t turn out as a big "blamage" for me. If I could write it down in German, it would probabely make a lot more sense, but well – I hope it’s gonna work in English anyway.
    1. I enjoyed 413 very much, it was action driven and the plots made sense to me. These 42 min. were running through my head like NOTHING. Great complements to the writers, the cast and crew!
    2. Auggie: Come on, he's just a man! And Helen was his wife once... this was just a thing that happened because of earlier days, no big deal at all! He can’t always be the hero with no conflicts and making no mistakes. Nobody can! I can totally understand that twist, with those feelings coming up on your mind and even if you know it's the wrong thing - you just do it, because of the whole situation. It has nothing to do with real love, like he has/had with Annie. He's not an idiot, like you said. And he’s not like the guy, doing it with every woman coming around the corner, they were a couple once, they were married, don’t forget that. Happens every day in real life! In Helen’s appartement I noticed – first he was about to pull his jacket off, than before Helen was back from the kitchen, he pulled the jacket on again. So you can see, he was confused about everything. I know many people will hate me for my opinion but for some reason I can accept and understand his behavior. It wasn’t one of his best decisions so far I agree, but it was understandable in that moment.
    He had so many mixed emotions - Calder said to Auggie he should let Annie go, Annie’s back in DC but both of them know how dangerous it would be to get in contact. Annie decided to fake her own death and maybe that's the reason why he got closer to Helen again - he already had that problem 7 years ago, losing his wife while watching her die. He’s still in love with Annie, but being in a relationship is going along with up’s and down’s all the way!
    After all - Helen's dead, so this part is history anyway.
    3. I feel that the writers have to put such unlikeable things into the story, it's important I suppose. The writers have to push the story forward, for sure it wouldn’t be easy to complete a whole season going like "everything is OK". If everything goes well, what kind of story will we expect next? It would turn out lame and boring. So I'm absolutely happy with the episode last night, the writers keeping it thrilling and suspenseful. These things keeping the whole show alive.
    4. When is Eyal coming back? Soon I guess – Chris Gorham told us once next episode is called “The River Euphrates” – as far as I know, not really far away from Israel, so maybe we will get so see him again there.
    I’m sorry for all the mistakes I probabely made in this text – so I apologize.

    1. I say write it in whatever language you want. We all have Google Translate available to us. :)

    2. "2. Auggie: Come on, he's just a man!"

      LOL I mean hey to each their own, but you seem to be a lot more forgiving than I am here. Let's say some ex girlfriend of my husband shows up at our doorstep tomorrow and in the meantime, my husband and I have to be apart for a while. During that timeframe, let's say the ex girlfriend manipulates him into cheating on me with her, and he goes for it. What am I going to say? "Oh come on, he's just a man!! Oh well!! No biggie. It's ok honey." Ummmm ... NO. Not. even. in the ballpark.

      It's not that I or any person in the universe couldn't envision a situation where we might be at a weak point and might make a stupid mistake like that. It can happen to the best of us, yes. But the way it happened to Auggie last night ... sorry, I just didn't buy it as something I could relate with in that situation. The way Helen brought him to her apartment was suuuuuuch unbelievably transparent manipulation to get the guy in bed it was just absurd. Oh my god it was the worst. Which had to mean that either a) Auggie was dumb enough to fall for it (hence me calling him an idiot) or b) he decided before he even got there that he was gonna bone her. Either way ... I'm not with him. He comes off as weak-willed to me. Like I said, it's a subjective thing, but this is my reaction to it. The character crossed a line for me where I've not only lost some respect for him, but I question whether it's a good decision for Annie to be with him at all.

      "After all - Helen's dead, so this part is history anyway."

      Not to me it's not. Does that mean you can just cheat away with anyone you like, and then as long as they happen to die right after that, everything is wiped clean and forgiven? Nooononoo not in my world haahaa.

      "4. When is Eyal coming back? Soon I guess – Chris Gorham told us once next episode is called “The River Euphrates” – as far as I know, not really far away from Israel, so maybe we will get so see him again there."

      That would be awesome. :)

      "I’m sorry for all the mistakes I probabely made in this text"

      You speak great English actually it looks good!!

  3. Just watched it. I saw that death coming from a million miles away. This season has had some of the most transparent plotting.


    Anyway, I'd probably given this one a higher score than Ploppy. 75?

    1. I'll be curious to see what grade I want to give this ep once the whole season is over. The 60 I gave is more of a grade of the entire Helen arc over the course of season 4. For me the transparent plotting included not only Helen's eventual death, but the fact that the story would turn into a love triangle and also that Annie would fake her death and go dark. Helen's character never felt like a real person to me at all, she just felt like a plot device. A machination. Not impressed with it at all.

      And of course, the grade is also indicative of the fact that they want to make this A&A thing happen, but they are ruining my affinity for it at the same time. And the crazy thing is that I never watched this show for A&A to begin with, at all before S4. And then they gave it to me and I enjoyed it, but I'm starting to not enjoy it anymore. TV shows do this all the time ... you can only mess with something so much before it kills it permanently for me. And if you're gonna kill it, then fucking KILL it. Don't then subject me to back-and-forths with these characters until the end of eternity because you will then simply make me hate the characters. I'm not there yet with these ones but last night they took a huge step in that direction, at least with Auggie. I feel like once again I'm in one of those moments where I can see it coming from miles away.

  4. Hmm I totally agree with you. About Auggie's losing respect; in my mind it is even worse because for a second there he decided to leave his coat on. And for me it meant that he is about to walk out the door. but then he stayed and I really can't justify it at all. Through all of the seasons and different sexual encounters he had I never lost respect for him but this was low, unfair and unjustified.
    On a different matter which I believe I still own an explanation; the scar!
    See stitching tissue leave a mark even when done by a surgeon in a sterile way. Having a knife stuck into your muscular tissue also deepens and widens said bullet wound. lastly stitching without gloves and proper sterilization would probably create a nice environment for microbes leading to infection. So A) that wound should have taken longer to heal. B) would probably be a lot bigger. C) It should be differently shaped.
    End rant.
    And you're right the Pesek-Z'man remark is probably Oded's as all of the little details of Auggie's blindness are Chris'.
    I hope that they are not spiraling down..

    1. "Through all of the seasons and different sexual encounters he had I never lost respect for him but this was low, unfair and unjustified."

      You know, and the thing that's making me even more mad now that I think about is, why didn't they just leave A&A broken up after 4.07?? Why have them get back together 5 SECONDS after you break them up, if this is the route you're going with them anyway?? All they would've had to do would be to leave them broken up (but still loving each other of course), and then the Auggie screwing Helen would've still had the same emotional effect withOUT making us HATE AUGGIE. Because then the situation with Annie would be even more dire and we'd understand his actions better because they'd be coming from a more desperate place. Why would you choose to tarnish a good character permanently if you didn't have to?? I don't get it at all.

      OH and thanks for the scar explanation!! Yes I was thinking about the knife thing too!! It makes zero sense that Teo would dig out the bullet with a damn kitchen knife or whatever the heck it was, and then there'd be no knife scar at all. We got to see it again last night; it was barely anything. Just like Annie's lack of surgery scar but on a smaller scale hahah. These things drive me nuts.

  5. You know, after reading your review, I understand why I am not anxious to re-watch this episode. It's the "soap-like" quality. Usually, I can't wait to watch again. Biggest bummer was Auggie...I was like "awe man, you're better than that." I was so disappointed. It doesn't match who I or we think Auggie is.

  6. I look forward to your reviews every week because you always say EXACTLY what I am thinking! I don't typically comment, but this week has just left me so furious... and the reason I am so angry is because I have been such a huge fan of this show for so long.

    I feel like I don't even know these characters anymore. We are seriously supposed to believe Auggie would just give in to Helesa like that? After everything we know about him to this point? Is there any way that when he knows Annie has gone dark and not only that she is alive, but in DC and giving over important evidence that could be the beginning of the end to all of this, that he would just go sleep with Helesa!? This is Auggie. He has to know that Annie wouldn't want to see him because she is scared of putting him at risk. He would do the same exact thing. I just get so mad when I think about what the writers are doing to this relationship.

    And obviously saw right through the ploy to make us "care" for Helesa before her death... it all felt so contrived, good riddance.

    I couldn't be more over the Henry storyline. I'm more than fine with an overarching storyline, but I am just not a fan with how any of this has been executed. As you've said multiple times, a lot of the time I don't know why anyone is doing anything anymore. I similarly started to have some hope the past two episodes, but it just seems shot now.

    I know this is mostly a rehash of your review, but I was hoping typing it myself would make me feel better :) I'm going to hope that the writers redeem themselves with the last few episodes but after the hype they were creating with 4.07-4.10, I just don't have much faith at this point. Sorry to sound like a hater, but it's just the venting and frustration of a sad Covert Affairs fan.

    1. Aww thanks that's awesome!! Glad to find other people out there who don't think I'm *too* crazy LOL.

      "He has to know that Annie wouldn't want to see him because she is scared of putting him at risk. He would do the same exact thing. I just get so mad when I think about what the writers are doing to this relationship."

      Right, the fact that he spent several episodes *totally* getting this, the first half of this episode included ... and then suddenly somehow STOPPED getting it is beyond me. If all it takes is one totally transparent lie from Calder to cause Auggie to completely lose faith in Annie entirely, then ... what the hell was their relationship all about to begin with??

      "I'm going to hope that the writers redeem themselves with the last few episodes but after the hype they were creating with 4.07-4.10, I just don't have much faith at this point."

      Yeah the way they hyped those ones up like they were SO amazing was interesting to me. It made me enjoy the eps LESS because they set my expectations way out of proportion. It's starting to feel like the most important thing on the writers' minds this season was to get the show to the point of Annie going dark ... and as a result ... those middle episodes kinda got neglected. It was like they gave the first 6 focus because it was the A&A relationship, and then the last 6 got focus because Annie goes dark. And then middle eps had to somehow get them from point A to point B. But it was just like, "ok make it happen so we can focus on the Annie going dark storyline" hahaha.

  7. You know I would love to come here and comment and say that I completely disagree with your post but to do that I would have to believe in some alternate reality where cheating is cool as long as there are extra super special spy circumstances, ya dig? So yeah, I agree with your review completely and some of the comments here as well. I have not been okay with this show for a while now but I had decided because of my love for the show and my ridiculous stubborn curiosity for wanting to know how things turn that for just one hour on Thursdays I would just shut down my brain and suspend reality and roll with it....okay....but now...now I feel like I need to bleach my brain and my eyeballs! And it's not because Auggie banged Helen, I mean yeah, it's because Auggie banged Helen, but not because I think that means OMGNOESWALKERSONISDOOMEDFORALLEVER, but because it was all so pointless and just unbelievable. Nevermind the zero chemistry part. If they wanted Auggie to screw for the sake of screwing shit up then couldn't he have had a drink or 12 at Allen's and hooked up with a waitress or something? So Helen had to die to move the story forward, but what did it really do but buy Annie some more time to get the real intel they need to nail Henry's ass to the wall? The way I see it...Helen's dead...Henry's still the King...Calder's still whisper growling....Barber's still the BOSS...Annie's a mute....and Auggie's a...slut? Did anything really change with Helen's death? No. Just like bringing her back from the dead was pointless her extremely dead death was just "incredibly bloody shhhtoooopid!" BUT, raise your hand if you LOL'd and thought it was awesome when Henry unloaded into Helen's chest in the middle of her speech?

    The Joan Bombshell --she authorized the torture and beat down of Baby Puma. *yawn* That doesn't really matter at this point either and Arthur has no business being a self righteous emo ass about it all. Kick him in the balls, Joan. Um...Arthur...even from where I'm sitting it looks like you funded a terrorist. Just sayin....


    1. .Only on 2nd watch did I realize Annie was headed to New York to track down Nelson. I guess I was in #BangShock.

      I loved how easily Annie tracked down Violet Hughes thru the intrawebz. Going dark doesn't remove you from google search engines, I reckon. And the meeting with Violet was just as confusing as the rest of this episode. Annie shows up in her TGIFridays server uniform and tries to play some weird insurance lady before getting Violet to spill everything in 98 seconds. LULZ.

      Here's the thing, if I take this episode minus the Helen banging, I would say it's one of the best episodes of the season, but I can't do that. The writers decided that for me when they brought Helen into the mix and took us down to Soapville. It makes me sad because it's becoming harder and harder to find all the things I once loved about this show. I keep saying "we'll see" and "I hope it gets better" or "just wait til next week" and the truth is, I just don't know anymore and that's not good. Not good at all.

      But here are the things I did enjoy:

      Barber. He's like my zen sense of calm and happiness in this sea of chaos, and his ride was way cooler than Calder's. Loved him out in the field.

      The Calder/Helen driving scene.

      Any scene with Calder Michaels. Loved that he kept trying to keep everyone on task and level-headed. Good luck with that, Sheriff. Plus, he touched Auggie's boob which was AWESOME!

      The Helen apartment scene (PRE-BANG). Loved that she finally acknowledged "oh hey, he's for real blind and not just playing blind like I was playing dead" and then seemed oddly turned on by it.

      The bus scene. Did Auggie sniff out Annie or not? Will we ever know? My Sister said yes. I'm not so sure, but the emotion (wait, what was that?) on Annie's face was like OMG! even I felt her pain.

      The Helen death scene. (for reasons mentioned above)

      And now we hold out hope and patiently wait and see where things go from here....

      Will Auggie tell Annie? Does Annie already have some idea? Will Joan ever have the baby? Does Arthur go to jail? Who will Henry kill next? Has The Jag been signed on for Season 5? What does the inside of Barber's car look like? Who is Nelson and why does he have all this mad cheddah$$?


    2. "... alternate reality where cheating is cool as long as there are extra super special spy circumstances ..."

      Oh didn't you hear? The relationship rules for spy boyfriends are different than regular boyfriends.

      "... but because it was all so pointless and just unbelievable. Nevermind the zero chemistry part."

      Exactly. The fact that it was so NOT believable is part of what's making Auggie's character seem like such a huge jerk-off right now. It makes no sense that he'd turn from "Get away from me bitch" to "Ohhhh k ya got me!! I smell your apartment OMG I LOVE U AGAIN!! LET'S BONE!! Oh whoopsie it's morning and I just changed my mind again sorry hun. Back to Annie now. I'm sure she'll take me back because I'm Auggie and I'm just so charming. Peace out, girl. Good luck with the whole, trying to start a real life again thing. Hasta."

      "... couldn't he have had a drink or 12 at Allen's and hooked up with a waitress or something?"

      Totally, the guy didn't even have ONE SIP OF WINE before the boning happened!! He doesn't even have drunkness as an excuse!!

      "Did anything really change with Helen's death? No. Just like bringing her back from the dead was pointless ..." So pointless. The only thing we got out of it was Soaptown City. Super.

      "Arthur has no business being a self righteous emo ass about it all." Not even in the least. The complete LACK of progress they made here due entirely to their own dysfunction was annoying as hell.

      I did actually like Calder in this ep, which was kinda surprising. I can just see Auggie blaming Calder for the Helesa banging too, but it will be total bullshit. This was not Calder's fault. Auggie has absolutely no one to blame but himself.

      "Did Auggie sniff out Annie or not?" Yeah like we said on Twitter - If Auggie DID sense her there, then it makes him an even WORSE person than he already is for then immediately leaving to screw his ex. "Oh my gosh I think Annie is next to me!! Squee!! Oh shit that was so kewl now lemme go bang Helen's brains out. Yyeeeeaaaahh I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Or ... actually maybe two bitches are going to be problems for me VERY soon. We'll see. " :unzips pants:

    3. *sigh* And on the 4th rewatch, I did notice how Auggie just handed over his cane to Helen. When I was watching live, I thought Helen was trying to hold him hostage so she could demand they do nothing but drink wine and fondle each other........*heaving sigh*...and, I also noticed in the post-bang convo that Auggie says something like what you and I had was real and I "never would have let last night happen if it wasn't"....so, yeah, it makes me think that it was not some moment of being overcome by emotions and unresolved feelings but more of a conscious calculated move on his part. See my post below.....I might be a goddamn genius. ;)

  8. And now if you'll allow me for just a moment to visit the alternate universe known as Planet Bang where everyone can bang anyone with the right reasons, I'm gonna give you my theory from Auggie's point of view...

    Auggie banged Helen to free her. In his mind, he was doing her a favor by sleeping with her and letting her see once and for all that whatever they had, no matter how real it was, was over. It was the only way she was going to be able to move on with her life. Post bang she knows this. He's in love with someone else. He wants her to be free to move on with someone else and he did this by giving her what he thought was closure.

    Oh and he got banged out of it...so yeah.....

    ***In reality where real people try and live and have real relationships with real feelings, cheating is NOT okay. And can be a dangerous game to play. It might even get you killed. Could be a relationship dealbreaker. DO NOT CHEAT!! Cheating is bad!****

    1. Oh my gosh so Auggie cheating is actually because he's such a GREAT guy!!?? That's SO awesome I'm so glad I can love him again now!! Oh praise the baby puma jeebus. He is so selfless and caring!! He doesn't use his wiener to get his rocks off ... he uses his wiener for CHARITY!! He uses his wiener to heal. His dong is the Mother Theresa of dongs. All hail the magical dong of Auggie. The Magical Dong of Saint Augustine hahahaha. Sounds like a tourist attraction. I meant to go there on a road trip once but it didn't work out in our schedule. Now I'm bummed I missed it. I wanted to be healed.

    2. LMAO! Yes, didn't you know that on Planet Bang, Auggie is the saviour and is known as Saint Ding-A-Ling? ;)

  9. I love the show, however the last ep was just sooo predictable. The whole J & H look alike was a dead giveaway. No pun intended. Auggie yeah ...all I can say is WTF already! really? Had to wiggle his dizzy stick. Never expected that from Auggie. But the rest of the ep.. PREDICTABLE! I'm not going to stop watching Covert Affairs because I do want to see Annie kick Auggie to the curb lol. Plopper you got this down!! Great review. My thoughts: Annie beat the shit out of Henry...kick Auggie in the pee pee and move on to some kick ass missions....EYAL is out there waiting....nows your chance :D Great review Plopper!

  10. Well...I feel in the entire Season that I'm watching some soap opera.

    I was happy when Michelle Ryan got a role in Covert Affairs becaus I love her since the Bionic Woman and I know it's a big thing for her. (And technically I started watching the whole Covert Affairs series because of her...)
    But I felt the whole Season that the writers simply didn't know what to do with her character, Helen. It was good potentials in her as a CIA Agent but they just wasted her for a "love triangle".
    So technically the writers purpose with her was just to make some distractions in the Annie/Auggie relationship. Such a shame it was more in the character. But as my friend told me the writers didn't bother themselves write a character properly who just appears in a few episodes, I guess this could be right.

    I don't blame Auggie because if I had an ex who looks like Michelle than...she wouldn't be an ex at all. :) Wrong example. Sorry. :D The point is, I don't blame him, he was vulnerable, Helen was his wife once, happened what happened.

    I was pretty sure Helen would die because I was pretty sure Michelle was just cast just for this Season. (Back to 2007 after the Bionic Woman was cancelled -she was the leading actress in it- she said she doesn't want to play in a TV Show again for a longer time. So I would be really really surprised if she had taken a longer part in Covert Affairs. )

    What I meant with this, I was sure that she would appear just in a couple of episodes. After all I was disappointed with Helen's death not because it happened but the way as it happened. Because I hoped if she had to die at least she would die in action. So technically she was a CIA Agent but we never saw her in action. (Which is a shame because I know Michelle loves doing action scenes. Shooting, fighting...etc...)

    So, I get it what was the writers purpose with Helen's death. I think when she realized she couldn't have back Auggie she just felt, there's nothing to live for her. I admit this "sacrifice thing" is still better than "the traitor" thing but yet just no sense. It was as soapy crap as her whole storyline.

    The episode was not bad despite this I enjoyed. (Michelle's scenes the most but I don't think it's surprising for anyone :) ) I liked the Annie/Helen cemetery scene. When Annie said "Two ghosts in the graveyard" I was laughing loudly.
    The Annie/Auggie bus scene was very lovely and very emotional.

    The more things:
    1) I'm curious if they let Michelle driving in the car chasing scene or not...I guess not because then Calder would have no chance. :) (I know who she's driving in real life :D )

    2) A funny thing: I read some comments and some people still thinks that Helen's working for Henry and they this time they faked her death together. First I was laughing but then I realized that I've already seen so much nonsense things in this Season that I can't say that's impossible. But honestly...I don't think so....

    One really really last thing (because I've already written a small novel here) when I heard Michelle got a role in Covert Affairs I hesitated to watch just her episodes or quickly watch all the episodes so far. I chose the second option and quickly watched the first 3 Seasons and I enjoyed it.
    Now I regret this a little because after I saw the first 3 Seasons this Season is a big disappointment. And yet I'll be the first one who'll buy it on DVD when it'll be released, just because of Michelle. :) (I think that's called obsession however she told me I'm definitely not an obsessed fan and I don't have the reason not to believe her...then I'm just dedicated. :) )

    1. I really do feel bad for Michelle because all she was left to work with was a shitty soapy story and it hardly seems fair. I don't know if anyone could've pulled it off and made me care about the character or made it seem even the least bit believable. Hope she finds a project out there that treats her better than this did.

    2. I also feels sorry for because she doesn't have luck with US TV Shows. This was the second time she played in a US TV Show and again she got a script and a character which weren't written properly. A friend of mine told me the writers didn't bother themselves when they figured out a character just for a couple of episodes.

      And I'm sure she was excited she could play a CIA Agent, I guess she expected to do action scenes :). She got nothing. Of course she would never admit in public if she was disappointed with her role. (She's not like that. Even after the Bionic Woman more actors from the show said in interviews that the producers and the NBC didn't know what to do with the show and they messed-up everything. But not Michelle, she didn't say any bad words about anyone. The only thing she said she felt it wouldn't be a long show.)

    3. Yeah I do think Michelle Ryan got a bum deal with this role. I feel a little bad that we're ripping the character apart so bad and it's not her fault. It's the fault of the writers for making Helen this paper thin character who spends the first 99% of her screentime selfishly manipulating and ripping apart people's lives and relationships, without being well-drawn enough to be even the LEAST bit sympathetic to the audience.

      And the fact that they expect us to suddenly buy the idea that she's this selfless heroic character solely for that very last scene is just laughable to me. The notion that she'd sacrifice herself in the first place makes zero sense given who she was the entire time leading into it, unless like we said it was simply motivated by her not wanting to go on anymore after Auggie blew her off (I could make a dirty joke out of that but I'll refrain).

      And even with all that, I do agree that the "Helen sacrifices herself" story was still a much better option than the "Helen is a double working for Henry" option. The latter would've been ridiculously cliche, especially considering that's the exact route they went with Lauren on Alias AND Shaw on Chuck. And I'm sure a zillion other shows/characters that I'm forgetting. But it was a lesser of two evils type thing given that they had to make this character such a cliche love triangle character to begin with. They didn't have many options on directions they could go after that.

      Hopefully Michelle Ryan's next role will be a better one.

    4. And technically she didn't get too much screentime. She was in 1 full episode in "Crackity Jones" and she got some few minutes long scenes in 3 other episodes. That's technically nothing. (Ok in her last episode she got some more scenes...)

      Last year I did an acting course in London. And my tutors said that without a good script and a well-written character an actor can't do too much. (The funny thing, that my dramaschool tutor is a good friend of Michelle's :) )

      Yes I agree "the ex is the traitor" thing would be a huge cliche and actually the writers have already played that card in this Season. (Seth was Joan's ex if I remember well.)

      Lauren in Alias: Last year I met Melissa George at the London Film & Con (she played Lauren in Alias if I remember well). She's very lovely. :)

      Michelle's next role will be in BBC series "Death in Paradise". She'll be a guest star, so I guess she'll appear just in 1 episode. It was filmed before she did Covert Affairs.
      But after that...hmmm...I'm sure she'll surprise me with something again. :)

      For example last year she played in a musical here in London. I haven't heard her singing before but she has a fantastic voice. I saw her show six-times (and I don't even like musicals :D) and that period gave me a lot of opprtunities to meet her in person, so I'll never forget that time.

  11. Since Helen didn't die when she faked her death, weren't Auggie and Helen still legally married? She might be using an alias (Theresa), but technically she is still Helen Hanson. They were never divorced. I wished Auggie had chosen not to sleep with her. But, I interpreted the scene as Auggie being conflicted about his marriage vows and committment, because he knew they were still legally married and she announced she wanted to return to the living, return to the life they had together. I thought in the moment his conflict with knowing he is married to Helen, influenced his decision. I think " little Auggie" told him they were still married and he needed to do it. But then the next morning, reality hit him and he realized his mistake and that just because they were still married, he didn't owe his commitment to her, because she let him go 7 years before and gave him a change to move on and he did. It is a shame he didn't realize that 8 hours earlier. In the story line, it has been at least 2 months since he has communicated with Annie. I can see where that would make their bond less strong. So, I don't like his decision, but it doesn't seem unbelievable to me. I hope he shows stronger character by coming clean to Annie about it.

    1. Well the said their marriage was just a fake for a mission. Or am I wrong?

    2. What I remember is that they got legally married for the mission, then fell in love. I thought it interesting at the time, that they got legally married for the mission, thats why I remember it that way.

  12. Did you see Chris' tweet that they were on a "break" because of the breakup in 4.07? Chris, I love you, but I just. can't. lol...Were we not supposed to think that they got back together at the end of 4.08?! If not, then maybe they shouldn't have included the question from Calder as to whether they are in a romantic relationship and the "Yes" from Auggie. And the "We were wrong". And the kiss. What the what is happening???

    1. YES, and it's times like that that I seriously regret even having a Twitter account at all. It seriously effs with my peace of mind. It's like my day is going perfectly fine and then I'll check Twitter and I'm just like WTF??

      What you said is 100% right IMO - If the writers wanted us to think A&A were broken up, then they should NOT have PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER IN 4.08. Ridiculous. If they're gonna try to call this a "break," then this is just nothing but bad/inconsistent writing, pure and simple. If you're gonna break them up, BREAK THEM UP, don't give them a confusing quickie reunion and then claim later that they never got back together. And yes Auggie was *very clear* to Calder at the end of 4.08 that he and Annie were a couple. That was the key thing to me that indicated they were back together again.

      I'm now very worried that these next 3 episodes will be just as illogical as 4.07-10 were, at least when it comes to this "we were on a break" bullshit. There are only so many leaps of logic I can take before I finally get fed up. I fear that I'll end this season losing respect for *both* characters and that will be very bad (e.g. if Annie's reaction is just, "Oh that's o.k. Auggie we were just on a break you're right, let's pretend it never happened). Drives me up the wall just thinking about it. We shall see what happens but Chris's tweet/interview has me feeling even shakier than I was before about it.

  13. If you have trouble understanding the motivations of Henry Wilcox, you might like this article: http://rdanderson.com/dossier/entries/wilcoxhenry.htm

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