Review - The Walking Dead 3.03: "Walk With Me"

Welcome to Woodbury! Andrea and Michonne get the spotlight this week as we meet a new group of survivors and…Merle's back! The highlight of this week's episode though was clearly the introduction of The Governor, the mild-mannered, yet cold-blooded leader of the Woodbury group. Morrissey's portrayal of the character seems good so far and his balance of both righteousness and viciousness makes for a refreshing new moral conflict. He's twisted yet not totally unsympathetic, which should make for more intriguing stories going forward. The Governor also furthers our understanding of the zombie virus by pointing out that "everyone turns". And I'm glad they chose not to leave out the wall of zombie heads that was such an awesome piece of the comics!

The show also did a nice job of recreating the picturesque setting of Woodbury. The "oasis" feel of it adds to the allure, but its very existence is dependent upon the type of leadership the Governor doles out without remorse. Clearly this will be an issue going forward, and it creates a different perspective on the issue of Rick's leadership abilities, which has gotten tiresome recently. The reappearance of Merle was another big piece of the Woodbury story, and his interrogation scene with Andrea was a nice reintroduction. However, I'm obviously looking forward to his reunion with brother Daryl more.

Michonne remains a mystery and we find out that Andrea doesn't know much about her either, despite their time together. Her execution of the "pets" also leads Andrea to believe she might have been placing too much trust in her new friend. Michonne is definitely my favorite part of the new season and I enjoyed the way she's playing the line between trusting Andrea, yet not wanting to let her guard down too much. She's a great addition to the group and it seems logical that her trust issues will factor into some of the Woodbury story as well. Overall, its great this season to have multiple settings and multiple character stories; a nice change from being stuck on the farm last season. Presumably the two groups will eventually collide one way or another and that will definitely make for some intense moments.

I give this one an 80 out of 100- the episode does a decent job of introducing some new characters and setting pieces in place for the rest of the season. Doesn't have quite the intensity of the last two, but things still seem to be moving forward well.

Quotes etc.

- "My shit never stopped being together."- Michonne

- That stock helicopter scene felt very "Apocalypse Now"

- If I'm not mistaken that was Dallas Roberts as the doctor- I was having "Rubicon" flashbacks

- No check in with Rick and Co. this week but most likely they've settled into the prison. Any thoughts on what episode Lori gives birth to the devil spawn in?
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Furycast 51 - Top 20 Metal Albums of All Time

VladyGG and HGF make two separate lists of their top 20 metal albums of all time! Two lists to rule them all... two lists to bind them... two lists to slay them all, and in the mosh pit blind them!

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Review - FRINGE 5.04: 'The Bullet That Saved the World'

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Review - SOUTH PARK 16.12: 'A Nightmare on Facetime'

It is Halloween in South Park but not for Stan, in a very special episode.

When Randy invests the family savings in an outdated business model named Blockbuster, his fiscal suicide pact sinks the hopes of his children for a happy Halloween. It also draws the ghosts of video rentals past.

Stan's friends attempt to save his holiday by taking him along via the iPad's Facetime or whatever it is called. I don't own an iPad. I'm not lame. Android OS or death!

Randy begins to lose his shit as ghosts and madness drive him into a SHINING mental breakdown. Meanwhile, Stan is virtually kidnapped, then virtually attempted murdered, and virtually illegally dumped in a landfill by Redbox bandits, but then virtually saved with but a scratch. Though, in the real world SHINING Randy takes over virtual Frankenstein Facetime Stan and goes on a virtual actual rampage. Then Blockbuster burns down. Chicken nuggets.

The moral of the story? The times they are a-changin'. Don't murder your family. Also, streaming videos isn't for everyone. Some people just don't have the bandwidth, especially for high definition videos. After all, how are you going to stream a fuckin' Blu-Ray movie at 1080p via Netflix if you are still using some antiquated shared bandwidth scheme?

Stan: Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs.

If I had to rent this episode, I'd pay $0.25. But if I had to rate it, I'd give it:

83 out of 100

I could totally stream it in 1080p because I have killer Internet service.
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Furycast 50 - VladyGG Versus Eli

In this episode, VladyGG and HGF discuss the presidential debate, THE WALKING DEAD, DEXTER, and Yvonne Strahovski. Meanwhile, Eli sits in for some HOMELAND. VladyGG and HGF then argue, listen to some listener phone calls, and argue some more.

00:00 - 00:32 Apocryphon by The Sword
00:33 - 02:58 Intro and Presidential debate #3
02:59 - 11:20 THE WALKING DEAD
11:21 - 11:37 DEXTER and Yvonne Strahovski
11:38 - 16:09 HOMELAND with Eli
16:10 - 30:32 VladyGG and HGF argue, then take phone calls from listeners
30:33 - 31:00 Seven Sisters by The Sword

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Furycast 49 - Happy to be Sad

 
In this episode, Jess and Magnus discuss DOWNTON ABBEY, the COPPER finale, 30 ROCK, PARKS AND RECREATION, THE OFFICE, Yvonne Strahovski, HAPPY ENDINGS, politics, and probably tons more. Ends on talk of GAME OF THRONES and George R.R. Martin's talk about writing the final two books.

Unedited podcast.

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Review - The Walking Dead 3.02: "Sick"

The undead good times continue this week with another solid episode! After last week's cliffhanger the group scrambled to save a now one-legged Hershel and deal with the new arrivals at the same time. Both stories worked surprisingly well and provided vastly different emotional moments which made for a good episode overall. The prisoners provided some humor (albeit pretty dark) and the Hershel story gave us some meaningful character moments. Rick also continued his strong run as  leader of the pack; not backing down in the face of the prisoners and continuing to treat Lori's crap with the appropriate level of disregard.

The new prisoners were a reminder of how much the world has changed, with Rick and Co. informing them about the new realities of the outside world, but also a fun refresher course in Zombie Killing for Dummies! The mele scene with both the prisoners and our heroes trying to take out a pack of Walkers was by far one of the highlights of this episode, both for the action and the dramatic consequences. The idea of not being able to trust any outsiders also seems like a good setup for things to come, and it gave Rick a chance to show he means business by leaving the extra inmate for dead. S.3 Rick is definitely taking his leadership duties more seriously and it fits with the stronger direction the show has taken.

On the opposite side the Hershel story provided some of the key character moments that help keep things grounded. Lauren Cohan got to do some great work this episode and the battle of emotions was evident in almost every scene Maggie appeared in. The amazing moment alone she had with Hershel and the combinations of vulnerability, strength, and family loyalty were all great highlights, and they've solidified my appreciation of Maggie as a character. Beth continued to get scenes which seem to be developing her as more than just background filler, which is also a nice change from most of last season. The scene with the whole crew watching Hershel wake up was also a great "we're all in this together" moment.

The other great piece of this episode had to be Lori. I don't often praise her as a character but the combination of magic truth serum and useful skills made her seem like less of a burden this week. I usually dread Lori scenes but the bluntness this week in admitting her shortcomings as a mother and wife made her seem like less of a whiny bitch, and Rick's disregard for her trivial emotional discussions was another strong point.

Overall I'd give this episode an 85 out of 100. The episode had its high points and it made a respectable effort to keep pace with last week's strong opening.

Odds and ends:

-  I forgot to mention last week that T-Dog seems to have had more to do (and more lines!) in the last two episodes than he's had in two seasons so far- #TeamTDog?

- Carol's new skill sets might be approaching absurdity if they weren't so useful to the plot. She's becoming the show's Swiss Army Knife.

- Carl back-talking Lori and Beth reprimanding Carl- I don't know which was better!

- The show has clearly been waiting to use that "shit happens" line since day one.

- Apparently divorce law won't be a helpful skill during the zombie apocalypse.
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Review - The Sword: Apocryphon

The Sword unleashes another work of art and, spoiler... it is mostly great.

Here are quick reactions to listening to each song (note, I listened to the album five times before writing down these thoughts). I should state upfront, for those who don't normally read my reviews or listen to the podcast that I rarely give two shits about lyrics. I am all about the riffs and vocal melodies. So while The Sword has some great lyrics and their songs tell stories, I base the song reviews purely on the riffs, beats, and melodies.

01 “The Veil Of Isis“ - 97 out of 100
Opening track gives away the game-plan. This is going to be an album full of riffs and cool melodies. Love hearing the bass just underneath it all, still audible, giving it that perfect live vibe but not overpowering. Final minute breakdown is all kinds of sexy. Yeah, that's what I said. Sexy.

02 “Cloak Of Feathers“ - 91 out of 100
Often, when I listen to a new album where the opening track is great, the second track suffers as it has to live up to it.  It takes a bit of time for this one to hook me in but I love the use of clean vocals as the music fades out. And the Thin Lizzy style dueling guitar harmonies are beautiful.

03 “Arcane Montane“ - 93 out of 100
There is some cool funky shit going on in this one. Great bass middle and a subtle breakdown that accentuates the main riffs when they kick back in. The couple of bluesy breaks in this are just really fun and unique. This could easily be a long-cruise track.

04 “The Hidden Masters“ - 95 out of 100
Holy Black Sabbath Batman! Beautiful and one I can see becoming a favorite track for a lot of people. I will admit that I had to look this track name up to see if it was some Sabbath song they were covering that I didn't remember. Yeah, so that happened.

05 “Dying Earth“ - 93 out of 100
The song starts off promising but really takes off around the 1:45 mark. Interesting vocal melody, beat, and riffs. Best part is the final 2 minutes with some dueling guitars, classic metal riffages, and two leads that kick into the coolest ending in the history of mankind! Or 2012. Whichever.

06 “Execrator“ - 94 out of 100
Haunting, dark, doomy vocals and riffs. It pumps out and into my ears like blood draining out of the sliced vein of a dying combatant. Short, to the point, and killer.

07 “Seven Sisters“ - 90 out of 100
Really impressed by the clean break at the one minute mark. Everything on this album feels so organic. Like they didn't try to toss anything in just because it was cool. The songs naturally go in a direction because whatever it is that inspires genius willed them there. This one has a nice Sabbath feel to it while retaining that modern touch that defines The Sword. So far, these guys haven't made any mistakes. Could this be the album of the year?

08 “Hawks & Serpents“ - 75 out of 100
This seems to be coming from a very different head-space from the rest of the album. If there is a track that doesn't feel like it belongs, it is this one. I just can't get into it. Reminds me too much of music a lot of local bands that never made it wrote in the 80s. Uninspired.

09 “Eyes Of The Stormwitch“ - 84 out of 100
I dig the melody and the music is good but there is no real moment of holy-shit-this-is-awesome like with the first seven tracks. That's not to say it won't grow on me and in a year end up as my favorite track, but as of this writing it doesn't do that.

10 “Apocryphon“ - 93 out of 100
The kitchen-sink song where they just toss everything at you. And it works. Gallopgallopgallop8bitmusicsabbathgroovegallopgallopmelodygallopphaserdrumsgroove!!! Now that's how you close out an album! Greatness earned!


Total rating:

 91 out of 100

Fantastic stuff. And to think, I may love it even more in a year. So, as an initial rating, that is pretty impressive. Where does it rank when compared to other The Sword albums? I don't know. Talk to me in five years.

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Review - SOUTH PARK 16.11: 'Going Native'

Comedy Central says: "When Butters starts acting out at school, his parents realize it’s time to tell him why he's not like all of the other kids. He must travel to a foreign place to learn the ways of his people. It will be a difficult trip for a young boy to make alone so Butters chooses Kenny to travel with him to the distant and secluded island of Hawaii."

Due to your complaints about my last two reviews, the boss has placed me on a short leash. Therefor, I promise to write a proper breakdown of the episode and stick to established formulas for detailing for you, the viewer, who should have already watched the episode and not need a fuckin' recap, what happened. And in the retelling of what you pieces of monkey shit watched, because you are incapable of retaining even a second of memory, I will be sure to miss NOTHING! Going as far as to quote every single piece of the episode like some fucktarded stenographer whose rapid and accurate skills are on loan from God herself!

Butters goes batshit crazy and starts telling people off. His parents reveal that he is Hawaiian and that he must return to his birth-place to take a walk-about of introspective self realization. Kenny, in an attempt to help is bestest bud in the whole wide world get through his personal journey, accompanies him to the island for the native "ceremony."

Upon arriving, Butters and Kenny are met by locals who take them on a tour of the surrounding area, revealing the beauty and intricacies of the region as well as the importance of being a native, like 20% discounts via the Mahalo points card.

But when the natives learn that the Mahalo points card is to be discontinued, all hell breaks loose and they attack a cruise ship with golf balls. An errant strike by Butters leads to a titanic event that leads to the death of all on board

As the repercussions of the cruise ship sinking materialize, the natives begin to distrust Kenny and demand he perform a canoe trial of courage or some shit. He fails. That bastard. Shit happens.

Butters then gives a rousing speech about what douchebags haole's are (note: a haole is a derogatory term for a white person, especially a non-native to Hawaii). Though he inspires the natives, the sudden realization that port closings means no new vodka shipments which in turn means no more chi-chi consumption quickly deflates the masses.

Meanwhile, as Kenny is revealed to still be among the living, the US Coast Guard arrives and is met with a hail of golf balls. They in turn overreact just a tad by shelling the beach, blowing locals into bloody pieces of guts and American glory. The natives attempt to fight back but without chi-chis what chance do they have?

Fortunately, when Kenny finds Elvis' ghost, the day is saved as the Rock 'N Roll king leads the indestructible one to a cache of vodka. And after Butters gives a speech about Ben Affleck, Kenny arrives with vodka for the chi-chis, ending the war.

Butters and Kenny are both made natives and receive their Mahalo points cards and Butters finds out that Ben Affleck is only with Jennifer Garner, not Lopez. So everything is right with the world.


QUOTES

Butters: But what does being Hawaiian have to do with me acting like an emo-chick on her period?

Butters: Well, if you ask me, the only good haole is a dead haole! With a, with a stick right up his butt-hole, and ah, and his wiener cut off!

Butters: You shouldn't be able to be good looking and be with Jennifer Lopez and be a good director! Alright, alright fine! ARGO is a good movie! There, I admitted it! I told people it didn't hold up but it holds up god darn it! Ben Affleck has everything! Raaaaah!

If I had to rate this episode, and Butters' island smoke monster says I do, then I'd give it:

78 out of 100

Jennifer Garner is so much hotter than Jennifer Lopez.

What did you think?
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Review -- CASTLE 5.04: 'Murder He Wrote'

If you didn't like this week's episode of 'Castle', may I suggest that you just stop watching entirely.

Sure, you could complain about the ridiculous twist at the end, the ridiculousness of a dead body falling into his pool or Castle being the best detective ever -- but that would just make you a bitch. Kinda like the one I've been accused of being on Furycast 46, of which, of course, we all know to be patently false.

We're not watching this show for realism, after all. That was just plain-old fun, with odes to 'Murder She Wrote' and 'Scooby-Doo', Esposito and Ryan poking around Beckett's love life, Beckett looking especially gorgeous and the usual goofy and fun moments between Castle and Beckett. I mean, if you didn't laugh at Ryan going crazy in his interrogation, this is not the show for you.

And speaking of Ryan, I was proud of him not telling Esposito and respecting their privacy. Normally, I would have fully expected one of those guys to parlay valuable information like that into Castle bribing them with nice things. I wonder if Ryan will say anything to Castle and/or Beckett when they get back to New York in next week's episode.

Not much else to say, other than this was a fun all-around episode and that this season has been very good in the early going. It's clear that getting those two together has not ruined the show one bit, and it seems to have given the show a spark that it really needed. I just hope they don't do anything stupid and create unnecessary relationship drama that leads them to break up. Some fights here or there and some drama are OK, but nothing over-the-top, please.

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--RYAN: "Girlfriend ... what do you mean, girlfriend?"
--LERNER: "What does that matter?"
--RYAN: "HEY! I'll ask the questions here, pal! Are you telling me that Richard Castle brought his girlfriend in your interrogation!?

--CHIEF BRADY: ''Not to sound all Scooby, but he might have gotten away with it if it weren't for you, Castle."

--BECKETT: "Do I get writer's credit?"
--CASTLE: "We'll talk."


RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Really? Mentioning the murder is enough for an arrest for interfering with an investigation? And even if it were, wasn't the "investigation" over at that point in the minds of the Chief?

--Haha, a stupid reference to Caskett. I like it, as well as his "Kate-ick" suggestion.

--Castle loves his terrible puns and terrible jokes: "Hey Lerner, killer boat." And the "Cook the book" line.

--Worst. Crime. Boss. Ever.


----I enjoyed how Beckett was trying to get freaky with Castle and he was distracted, then later it was the other way around.

--What was the point of the shooting star at the end?

THE SCORE: 87 out of 100

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Furycast 48 - Revolution of Fringe Zombie Strahovski's

In this episode, VladyGG and HGF discuss the presidential debate, REVOLUTION, THE WALKING DEAD, DEXTER, Yvonne Strahovski, FRINGE, HOMELAND, plus more.

00:00 - 00:32 Testify by Rage Against the Machine
00:33 - 03:32 Presidential debate #2 (overall debate #3)
03:33 - 15:21 REVOLUTION (we also talk a bit about HEROES and other geek shows)
15:22 - 22:06 THE WALKING DEAD
22:07 - 22:51 DEXTER and Yvonne Strahovski
22:52 - 26:24 FRINGE and the continued fan wars
26:25 - 27:02 HOMELAND and why VladyGG is a cunt-twat
27:03 - 27:47 End Talk about a future podcast
27:48 - 28:13 Voice of the Voiceless by Rage Against the Machine

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The Walking Dead - 3.01: "Seed"

This review will be fairly short since I want to give the show some time to breathe this season before I heap too much praise on it. Overall last night's episode was a very good start though. I thought the best part might have been the virtually silent opening, which really established the more dire circumstances our group of survivors is living in now that they've left the safety of the farm. When there is a time jump a lot of shows waste time catching you up on the way things are now as compared to where they were, but this opening was a good way to do that in a dramatic fashion without wasting any time.

Giving the group a larger goal like securing and setting up shop in the prison seems to have focused the story more and done away with some of the clunkier dialogue, yet without losing the emotional connections to the characters. This episode felt like it moved pretty quickly and efficiently toward getting the group inside the prison; which was a nice change from last season, where it feels like they might have spent a week or more in that field debating the best course of action. I'm a little disappointed that Michonne and Andrea seem to get the short shrift in this episode (especially since Michonne is a pretty well loved character from the comics). We don't learn much about what they've be doing during the gap in the story, but hopefully next week we'll get some more pieces of the puzzle.

This episode also found a fairly good way to improve upon the zombie slaughtering action with the Walker riot police, and with dark interior halls of the prison toward the end which made things a bit creepier. And ending with two jarring events like Rick cutting off Hershel's leg and the appearance of the other prison survivors was a nice way to get the audience excited for the next few episodes

Overall I'd give this episode a 95 out of a 100- very good action, a clear goal, and our team of survivors working together like a zombie death squad makes for a good star to Season 3!

Quotes and such:

- "I ain't sleeping in no cage…"- Oh Daryl, I missed you!

- Does Beth get the Most Improved Survivor Award since she seems to have fully given up her suicidal tendencies and is now wielding an axe like a pro? Or should it go to sharpshooter Carol?

- I was prepared to fully hate pregnant Lori, but about halfway through this episode I was really hoping that story would be over within a week or two. Also is wrong that I actually like pissed off Rick more since he seems to put up with less of Lori's crap?
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Furycast 47 - Death, Pain, and Politics

 
Jess and Magnus talk DOWNTON ABBEY, COPPER, NEW GIRL, 30 ROCK, some WALKING DEAD, DEXTER, Yvonne Strahovski, and lots of politics (look out conservatives!) and just random babbling. Yes, this goes on for a LOOOOONG TIME.

Sorry, no times noted because I am lazy. But the DOWNTON ABBEY and COPPER discussion ends around the 33 minute mark. LOTS OF SPOILERS (even beyond the 33 minute mark, so be careful, especially after the 70 minute mark)!

WARNING! This is an almost completely unedited podcast.

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Review - FRINGE 5.03: 'The Recordist'

When the team goes out looking for clues to Walter's Observer-killing weapon, they meet up with people who have been keeping records of the history of humanity post-occupation. And stuff happens.

After last week's killer episode failed to really create much dialogue in the comments section about anything but Anna Torv, Joshua Jackson, and the amount of screen time each get versus which is a better actor (yeah, that happened), I wonder what argument either side will make this week.

Because both received a fair amount of screen time.

Both had a fair amount of good scenes.

Both delivered pretty good performances.

Granted, Joshua Jackson is the superior actor.

Oh shit. I just started it all over again!

I kid.  Well, not that Jackson is the superior actor or the one with better scenes, but that I was trying to stir up any shit.  Though, having said what I said it probably comes off a bit disingenuous for me to say that. Oh well.  Like it matters what I say anyway. Last week I just talked about how awesome the episode was and barely got a peep about that in the comments section.

Why the fuck am I writing about the comments section in a review about the episode?  I have been effectively trolled!

So this episode wasn't brilliant but it wasn't mediocre either.  It did move the story along. It did tackle some of Olivia's simmering emotional issues about abandoning her husband and his search for their daughter and her reasoning made sense. 

She had given up hope.  She couldn't see past her depressed outlook.  All she could see was that she had lost again.  All this the cause of a messed up childhood where she was used and abused by those who were meant to look after her. It is a good bit of believable writing.

Pacey Poof's moments were pretty effective too. Jackson has such a wonderful hold on his character's heart that he never fails to tap into that emotional side when he needs it. And with Olivia as the cold one, Peter needs to be the one who speaks for their relationship.  Otherwise the audience would be left wondering why they ever fell for each other.

Apart from those elements, the rest of the episode had some good beats like the mole who calls the rebels to warn them of the incoming enemy; Walter just wanting to get high; Astrid the laser surgeon and VHS fixer; freaky looking kid who made graphic novels out of the legends of the Fringe unit; creepy black stuff; a sacrifice; and a montage (I love a good montage!).

For an episode that surfed the line of significance and insignificance, it worked for me.

If I had to rate this episode, and Walter's suit of armor says I do, then I'd give it:

83 out of 100

So what did you think?  I mean, beside the obvious stuff of how much it sucked. Oh and see you in two-weeks!
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Review - SOUTH PARK 16.10: 'Insecurity'

The mailman always rings twice. But what does the UPS man do? All is answered in this week's brand spankin' new episode of SOUTH PARK.

ANALYSIS
Last week some people got mad at me for writing a review that was essentially an analysis of bullshit because I hadn't finished watching the episode because I had to go pick up pizza.

I own that criticism. It was an awful thing to do especially when you consider how much I am paid to write these reviews. It will never happen again. I promise.

Now, this week we get a crazed Cartman (redundant?) putting together a security force to combat the evil USP guy. The subtext is that Obama's Amerukah is full of covert operatives who are spying on your every move.

No?

Shit.

I admit that I am writing this 4 hours before the episode. I apologize and will never do it again. I have turned over a new leaf on-the-spot like Mitt Romney in last week's debate. No one should call me on it and instead just pretend as if everything I said before never happened.

4.5 hours later

I am now actually watching the episode. I swear. And wow. This is pretty good stuff. Thrilling. Genius. So amazing guys. This part where Kyle and Stan makeout is so Obama. Way to go. Civil rights now! Civil rights forever!

For realz this time folks, 4.5 hours later

I will never lie again. Trust me. Everything I said before was just me on the review trail. I can't be held accountable for what I said there. The only thing that matters is what I say now whether I mean it or not. Sure, I could change my mind after you accept me as your reviewer of choice (spoiler: I will definitely change my mind later), but you should just take it on faith or whatever thing helps manipulate you most that this review and everything contained within it is an honest assessment of what I watched.

If I watched it.

Which I did because I wrote a review and you read it.

I swear to the Lords of Kobol that this is being written after watching the episode

When Ike catches his parents fucking like horsemonkeys while playing the old UPS-man game, Cartman decides it must have been rape and jumps into action and installs a high security system. And when the adult men mistakenly think the UPS-man is going around fucking all their wives, they overreact. Also, people order shit from Amazon all the time and then forget about it.

[Copy and paste someone's words from another review, don't cite the source but change a couple of words like you did all through college, don't worry because people are dumb and won't notice.. just remember to delete this note before you click "Publish"]

At some point Mitt Romney's company, Bane, shows up to kidnap the UPS guy and kick the shit out of him for banging wives.

The moral of the episode? That home security systems are a sham! And that Amazon is addictive. And that James Cameron has a song, or that was last week.

QUOTABLES

Announcer: Fake it, with Cialis. It won't make her any hotter but it'll make you not care for up to 3-hours.

Cartman: Think about it. What kind of sane normal person would want to have sex with Kyle's mom?

Cartman: What if I was someone who wanted to rape my mom?!
Dispatcher: You want to rape your mom?

Cartman: Hello? Did you hear me? A rapist is here. He's white.
Dispatcher: Okay. Should we contact the police?
Cartman: Yes you should contact the fuckin' police! My mom's about to get fuckin' raped!

Dispatcher: Try and stay calm. The police are on their way.
Cartman: Well that's nice. Maybe they can bring some cigarettes and Gatorade because the guy's gonna be pretty wiped out! What the fuck?!

Dispatcher Kevin: Wow, that just fucked my head.
Cartman: Yeah. I just fucked your head and the UPS guy just fucked my mom!

Kyle: The Jewish population isn't dying out, fatass, it's growing!
Cartman: (quietly stunned) What?

[type any kind of shit here, no one reads it anyway, it just helps with Google search --remember to delete this too]

RATING
If I had to rate this episode, and the man in brown shorts says I do, then I'd give it:

88 out of 100

It was good. Most likely. I bet it was. But if it wasn't, then the score is 55 out of 100. Unless it was mediocre in which case it is 76 out of 100.

For some reason, this episode made me think of the craziness in this video around the 6:15 mark.

Ike's little drawing sure made the rounds.

See? I watched it this week.
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Furycast 46 - Where is Jimmy?

In this episode VladyGG and HGF discuss COMMUNITY, REVOLUTION, FRINGE, DEXTER, HOMELAND, ALPHAS, and play some listener phone-calls, plus more. All times and topics noted below.

Consider all discussions to have potential spoilers and only listen to that which you have watched or don't care to know about even if you haven't.

00:00 – 00:26 OPENING (Damned If I Do by Life Of Agony)
00:27 – 03:11 INTRO including talk of COMMUNITY premiere delay
03:12 – 10:33 REVOLUTION
10:34 – 16:24 FRINGE and the crazy Joshua Jackson fan(s)
16:25 – 19:07 DEXTER
19:08 – 19:11 HOMELAND
19:12 – 19:35 ALPHAS
19:36 – 27:19 Listener phone calls
27:20 – 30:49 End of podcast discussion including Eli, Jimmy, Plopper etc.
30:50 - 32:42 OUTRO (River Runs Red by Life of Agony)

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Review -- CASTLE 5.03: 'Secret's Safe with Me'

After last week's episode got HGF and some of the readers excited about 'Castle' again, I'm concerned this week's installment will have the reverse effect.

Take that back, I don't care what you people think, just that you read the review and maybe post a comment so it looks like people care what I think.

And while I didn't think there was anything terribly wrong about the episode, it didn't really generate much emotion or feelings in me to talk about here. Sure, there was a little fun and a little flirting, but there was some lame-ass shit in there that even got the pathetic-girly-sap that is yours truly, a bit annoyed.

I could have done without the Alexis storyline. How many times on how many shows do we need to see a kid go of to college a bit scared to be on their own? If I want to see that storyline and I want to see how it's done, I'm going to watch 'Parenthood', not 'Castle'. Monsters under the bed? Really? I'd rather see what she's doing ON the bed in college, than what's lurking underneath. (Hey now!)

Even as a lover of all things sappy and romantic-y, even I couldn't stomach the lame-ness of Castle and Beckett in the precinct talking about kissing while shaking hands. I think I'm going to puke now.

Last thing before I finish talking about an episode that really provided me with nothing to talk about: I predict that Esposito and/or Ryan will figure out about Castle and Beckett in the next episode.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--CASTLE: "I'm a best-selling author, why wouldn't I have $2,000 in my pocket?"

--BECKETT: "Take your hand off your tool, Marco!"


RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--As predictable as it was that there was something hidden in that doll all along, it led to a fun moment when Castle broke two of them in a row while whats-her-face watched in horror.

--Some bad police-work/logic skills: If that dude knew/thought that a $4 million bracelet was in the storage unit, why would he only bid up to $2,500? Methinks he would have brought a few more dollars to ensure he has enough for the winning bid.

--Memo to all criminals when confronted by police: NEVER say something like "It's an interesting theory, detective, but you can't prove any of it" or "I'd like to see you prove it." THEY ALWAYS PROVE IT. Just watch 'Murder She Wrote', dude.

--I like how Castle noted that they brought justice to their family .... umm, what family? They are all dead.

THE SCORE: 59 out of 100

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Furycast 45 - Sexalogue

Jess and Magnus talk *breath* DOWNTON ABBEY, COPPER, NEW GIRL, THE MINDY PROJECT, PARKS AND RECREATION, FRINGE fan wars, ANIMAL PRACTICE, 30 ROCK, extras (that do stuff in the background of scenes), what the listeners want... oh hell, we talk a lot of stuff. Just listen. Oh and there are two outtakes at the end.

AUTOPLAY enabled for purely evil reasons.


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Review - FRINGE 5.02: 'In Absentia'

Hardcore fans of any show can easily turn into ass-kissing douchebags or hate-everything assholes once it has been on long enough (my often mentioned post-season 2 phenomenon). And it is difficult, as someone who finds himself trying to be objectively critical, to not side with the haters more often than I do the ass-kissers. But being someone who prides himself on being able to maintain objectivity even when show writers make it difficult to not dive headfirst into negativity, I definitely root for quality.

In this episode, quality emerged with a vengeance.

Trying to shy away from the hyperbole of feeling blown away by something just watched, I am going to stop myself from proclaiming this "one of the best episodes in the series."

Fuck it, I just failed.

THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST EPISODES OF THE SERIES! HOLY SHIT!

One of the things that made this show something of an addiction was the excellent acting and well written characters/dialogue. Throughout the history of the show, those things have trumped the stories, even when they were worthy of praise.  But something happened on the way to season 4 and everyone seemed to, more often than not, lose their focus. As I mentioned in the latest podcast, FRINGE had become a show with characters and situations I loved, but without the intrinsic quality that made me fall in love.

Somehow they rediscovered it in episode 89.

What made it so great? Let me just bullet point it because I am too exhausted from the intensity to recap shit.

• It's a break-in episode and those rule!
• It's a grand plan episode and the origin of those ideas are often so much better than the eventual payoff (yes, this probably means the resolution will suck but we live in the now people!).
• The individual interactions between Etta and her parents were pretty much perfect, with so much unshared pain and frustration between them, yet with love holding them in a bond.
• Walter being the Walter we all know and love with nutty and hilarious dialogue.
• A side-story involving an enemy that goes well beyond anything one could have expected (give that man an Emmy nomination!).
• A somewhat Star Wars like infiltration into the enemy base minus a wookiee and this time to turn the power on.
• One of the most powerful scenes in show history (when Etta loses her shit upon discovering what had happened to her partner) that is still giving me chills.
• A powerful ending that ran the gamut of emotions.
• And all the things I forgot to mention because I'm on such a high right now.

Bravo writers. Superb work. If this is what is to come this season, then I will weep when the show ends.

If I had to rate this episode, and I really want to, I'd give it:

98 out of 100

What did you think?
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Review - SOUTH PARK 16.09: 'Raising the Bar'

232 episodes down, infinite number to go.

The question is, do I think they can keep things fresh and cool for another 16 seasons? And was this episode good? Find out after the blahblahblah.

ANALYSIS
Let me start off by saying that I have never watched an episode of whatever this Honey Boo Boo thing is and have only seen maybe 2 scenes by accident from that... thing. So I can't begin to tell you how accurate the portrayal on the show was to the real deal.  That also means I can't fully appreciate the idea behind it but I can at least view it from a perspective of pure entertainment.

In any event, what was this episode trying to say, in case it was trying to say something? Perhaps that the lunacy of modern-day fame extends beyond any notion of taste. Or that taste is truly unmeasurable and that anything can be entertaining. Would Honey Boo Boo's search for the perfect pig heart to blahblahblah be a ratings hit if it wasn't a spoof?

I bet it would.

Or was it actually just an episode about how out-of-control fat we have become as a country and how we are celebrating our obesity by catering to our elephant sizes with wider seats, scooters, and candy corn Oreos?

Yeah. That's the one.

The moral of the story is that fat people should all die. I think. Or exercise. Or that we should shame fat people more than we already do?

Or that James Cameron is an awesomely pompous douche who is smarter and more badass than all of us.

I don't think they had any clue what the moral of the story was when they made it (but I'm sure lots of people think it was "brilliant" because they want it to be). So, fuck it. It was just an episode that had some laughs.

QUOTING SOUTH PARK

Cartman: Dude, how come when we play baseball I always have to be the catcher?
Kyle: Well, because you've got good coordination, sharp reflexes, and you're fuckin' fat.

Cartman: [on his scooter] Yeah, no, this is a problem, Kyle. You gotta make your bathroom accessible for my mobility-scooter or else I won't be able to take a shit in your house.
Kyle: Then take a shit somewhere else!

Token: Kyle, Kyle, I'm trying to make compelling television.
Kyle: You got Randy Newman to do the theme song. You're not trying that hard.

RATING
If I had to rate this episode, and James Cameron's bravery song says I do, then I'd give it:

7.99 out of 100

It made me hungry.  I'm going to get one of those new Domino's pan pizzas, Mountain Dew, and a couple of heart attack sticks.

Bring me my mobility-scooter!
P.S. This review is me lowering my own bar...
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Furycast 44 - Kids Hate VladyGG

In this episode VladyGG and HGF discuss REVOLUTION, DEXTER, HOMELAND, COVERT AFFAIRS, FRINGE, ELEMENTARY, DOCTOR WHO, MADE IN JERSEY, and play some listener phone-calls, plus more. All times and topics noted below.

Consider all discussions to have potential spoilers and only listen to that which you have watched or don't care to know about even if you haven't.

00:00 – 00:18 OPENING (Stone the Crow by Down)
00:19 – 02:45 INTRO
02:46 – 12:41 Discuss ratings and REVOLUTION
12:42 – 15:28 DEXTER
15:29 – 17:33 HOMELAND (season 1 spoilers and some COVERT AFFAIRS talk)
17:34 – 21:14 FRINGE
21:15 – 24:11 ELEMENTARY (some DOCTOR WHO and MADE IN JERSEY tossed in)
24:12 – 26:03 Listener phone calls (hold onto your diaper)
26:04 – 27:00 END OF PODCAST (Breadfan by Budgie as performed by Metallica)

AUTOPLAY enabled for purely evil reasons.


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Review -- HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER 8.02: 'The Pre-Nup'

Enjoy this crappy review, because this will likely be my last of 'How I Met Your Mother'.

Never mind that this show is one billion episodes in, it's difficult and pretty much pointless to write weekly reviews about a 30-minute comedy -- let alone a show that people are getting sick of, getting annoyed with and that does the same shit over and over.

I'm sick of Ted and Victoria. And for people that weren't sick of those two, I bet you are now after one of the worst storylines in TV history with Klauss living with them.

I'm sick of Barney going back and forth between Quinn and Robin. And while the Barney/Quinn pre-nup storyline was entertaining briefly and gave me a few laughs, I'm annoyed that this could spell the end (or close to) of Becki Newton's tenure on the show. That would be a shame, as she was a fun addition and plays well off of Barney.

Other than one funny quote from Marshall's mom, I couldn't care less about Marshal, Lily and the baby. So sick of those characters and so god damn sick of babies on TV shows. We've seen it all before and we don't want to see it again. And every time I see those two characters, I can't help but think they are mailing it in. They don't care about those characters or this show anymore, so why should we?

The fact that Robin gets turned on by watching herself on the news is pretty funny. But that's not going to make up for the rest of this shit.

The thing is, the episode wasn't that horrible, but I just get so angered watching this show. So instead of writing and complaining about it each week, I'm going to stop reviewing it. There's really no point to, anyway. However, you can still check out my 'Castle' reviews each week (those will 100% continue the whole season) and I will also take suggestions for another show my readers would like to see me review that isn't already being covered on Geek Furious. I won't promise anything, but if enough people want to me write about something in particular, and I like it and HGF signs off on it, then I will.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--FUTURE TED: "Everyone was as happy as can be -- which means there were no good stories."

--QUINN: "Ms. Garvey must invent 12 new sexual positions per year, at least 10 of which involve her doing all or most of the work."

MARSHALL'S MOM: "Stop. Not in the house, that's how lamps break!"

ROBIN'S BOYFRIEND: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it takes 42 inches to keep you satisfied."
 

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--I don't have any, yet another reason why I don't like reviewing 30-minute shows.

THE SCORE: 60 out of 100

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Review -- CASTLE 5.02: 'Cloudy With a Chance of Murder'

I just had an epiphany. Whether two characters on a will-they-won't-they type TV show are dating or not, it really doesn't matter.

Is the show still good or not? That's all that matters.

In the case of 'Castle', I get the sense from some of my readers that they are concerned about the direction of the show now that Beckett and Castle are together. But for me, I don't care either way. I only care whether the show is still entertaining or not. I argue that it still is.

Magnus (HGF) thinks that there is no sexual chemistry between the two characters. I say who cares! Whether he's right in his assessment or not, it's not like this show is a porno. There's not exactly a lot of sex scenes or makeout scenes in it, anyway. The success/entertainment of this show depends on their chemistry with dialogue, facial expressions, mannerisms, etc. And in this aspect, I think their chemistry is good and it makes the show fun to watch.

Some of the stuff on 'Cloudy with a Chance of Murder' was a bit over-the-top, but it didn't really bother me because the episode itself and Castle/Beckett were fun this week. The jealousy drama and the keeping-it-a-secret crap was entirely cliche, and we've seen it a thousand times, but those two characters make it work by being charming and funny. And before those two crazy kids got together at the end of Season 4, the same thing applied. That's why I've always liked this show.

And I don't laugh out loud too much on TV shows, but Castle messing around with the green screen at the news station was hilarious.

This week's case was fairly interesting, which was a nice bonus, but it's main purpose was very clearly to give Castle and Beckett a pause about keeping a workplace relationship and displaying the difficulties that it can cause.

Much like Castle and Beckett, I suggest you do the same -- just fucking deal with it. The show is still what it was before, whether or not those two are having fake sex or not.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--BECKETT: "You just want me to take my shirt off again, don't you?"
--CASTLE: "WHAAAAATTTT!?"

--CASTLE: "Don't tell me you dressed like that for Esposito."

--RYAN: "Fine, just judge all you want."

--ESPOSITO: "He's a man, he has a pulse, so no."

--CASTLE: "I know who the killer is!"

--CASTLE: "She's like the terminator sex bot."

--BECKETT: "What I want is to not have this image of a bikini-clad woman stuffing her boobs in your face, so good luck with that."
--CASTLE: "Do I even get credit for figuring out who the killer is?"
--BECKETT: "No!"

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Does the NYPD really have a strict dating policy?

--Detective Ryan's suit at the beginning of the episode was pretty fugly.

--Luckily for me, I don't drink coffee -- so no morning coffee will be killing me.

--I don't know about you, but when I make death threats, I don't typically use stationary that can identify me.

--This Week on 'Eli is a Creep': I love Jodi Lynn O'Keefe. She was a knockout when she was on 'Boston Legal' and still is 10 years later.

THE SCORE: 85 out of 100

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Furycast 43 - Downton Copper CrayCray

In this episode, Jess and Geek discuss the latest episodes of DOWNTON ABBEY and COPPER and how totally nutbags fun those shows were this week.

Consider EVERY discussion a potential SPOILER discussion.

AUTOPLAY enabled for purely evil reasons.


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Presidential Debate Schedule: How will it ruin your TV viewing?

Even though 95% of the country has already decided who they are going to vote for, the 5% who are confused about which candidate represents them and how to actually vote need these debates to help them choose.  Or something.

But that means the fate of the nation and the world infringes on our favorite television programs! Those bastages! So here is a list of debate dates and times so that you can schedule video game sessions or sex time with the one you love (or picked up at a bar).

Note: the debates will be shown on the free networks and cable news. Your favorite cable network should not be affected but check their schedules just in case.

Wednesday - October 3, 2012
Domestic Policy
9:00-10:30pm New York City Time

Thursday - October 11, 2012
VP Debate on Foreign and Domestic Policy
9:00-10:30pm New York City Time

Tuesday - October 16, 2012
Foreign and Domestic Policy
9:00-10:30pm New York City Time

Monday - October 22, 2012
Foreign Policy
9:00-10:30pm New York City Time

Note: The networks should still run the 8pm hour with normal programming. Some popular programs may get moved up. Check your local listings.


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