08 September, 2011

Curb Your Enthusiasm, 8.08, The Implementation

First and foremost, I’d like to apologize to all of you for the lateness on these reviews. I was on holiday [editor's note: what we in the US call "vacation"] in the middle of the Atlantic (The Queen Mary II, it’s kind of like the Love Boat except there’s no Doc, Isaac or Gopher. BUT, there are a handful of Caribbean steel drum players, so you know, it’s all good).

Secondly, I would like to warn you that this review might not be as pinpoint as my last ones due to the incalculable amount of gin I’ve amassed in my system, each drop of it like a bullet to my nervous system.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to the David shenanigans, shall we?

This episode was a doozy, and it hurts my head just thinking of everything that happened, although, that could still be the gin residue; I’m not quite sure.

1. Larry and Jeff meet up with an inventor (unfortunately, it’s not the Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Imporium type), who has come up with the idea of installing a periscope into a car. Insert submarine type jokes here. The boys are lukewarm about the whole idea until they meet Ira’s (Mr. Inventor) dearly beloved. Let’s just say that Shorty wouldn’t win America’s Next Top Model or America’s Next Slightly Below Average Model either. A relatively handsome man married to a curly-haired over-weight urchin? That man MUST have integrity! LD and Jeff are sold! As for the periscope, the boys take it out for a “test run” around the streets of New York and find the whole endeavor to be ingenious. Even Susie thinks it’s a good idea. Larry and Susie agreeing on something? And we thought stranger things couldn’t happen. The whole scene where Larry and Jeff chase the one-armed man? I got a little “flash” into Chuck and Morgan’s future if they were spies sans the intersect. See what I did there? Flash? God, I need a day job.

2. Oh hey, is that 30 Rock’s Cheyenne Jackson playing Larry’s trainer? I think it is! Hello Cheyenne! What? Wanda Sykes pays you more than LD? He can’t be your 2 o’clock anymore? Good to know what you’ve been up to during summer hiatus! Bye!

3. LD goes to a dinner party at Henry’s, whose father is Judge Carter Horn from a courtroom TV show. Larry decides to go pay judge Horn a visit in his room, because it’s better to act on nice things than to just think of them. In his boudoir, the Judge is playing Scrabble with a one-armed man (the more I type this, the more I feel like I’m recounting a fable or a riddle). After an awkward, socially insensitive conversation about “wishing to have one arm when cuddling with a woman”, the one-armed man leaves Larry to play Scrabble with the old man. Not even two minutes in, the judge starts spewing out racial slurs. Who knew that Scrabble brought out racism in the elderly? Judge Carter Horn makes Archie Bunker look like Michael Stivic. Henry then walks in and sees that the Scrabble scores are completely impartial and blames LD of taking advantage of his dementia-ridden father. LD blames it on the one-armed man but to Henry, it’s like crying wolf – if the wolf was missing one paw.

4. In the end, LD, instead of spilling his popcorn in the bathroom, ends up spilling the beans about why he chose to invest with Ira. His wife, rightfully, then beats his shit up, thus turning Larry into a one-armed man due to the fact he has to wear a cast. In it’s usual Curb way, the last five minutes bring the adjacent storylines together to come full circle (like a compass, you see?) and LD is brought face to face with the one-armed Scrabble deserter who bumps into Judge Horn in order to get a taxi, leaving Horn on the ground saying the “one-armed man did it!” and Henry seeing Larry standing there, one-armed and all.

Babydoll’s by the way…
-How can you see Sting 2 and not see Sting? It’s like seeing American Graffiti 2 and not seeing American Graffiti? I’m fucking upset now y’all.

-The inventor Ira is Scott Cohen, you might remember him as hottie professor Max from Gilmore Girls or Detective Chris Ravell from Law & Order: Trial by Jury. Ok, ok, I IMDB’d him for Law & Order. I don’t want you to start feeling bad because I’ve got more TV knowledge than you and your friends put together.

-Skis that come in two parts that are put together like pool cubes? I’m a skier and I never thought of that. Then again, I’ve never had a death wish either, so…

-Susie’s outfit at the dinner party – Foxwoods in August had a sale and Susie just had to get herself a pair of the circus pants that were 50% off.

Curb your political correctness…
-“I don’t like being told what to do” – “So that’s why you married Susie?” BURN!

-“This looks like an 8th grade science experiment”.

-“I always think of nice things but I never act on them”.

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