Castle 4.20 -- The Limey

Monday's 'Castle' was entitled "The Limey", but it should have been called "The Cliche".

Let me count the reasons:

1. Multiple interrupted conversations between Beckett and Castle
2. Beckett jealous of Castle with a new girl
3. Castle jealous of Beckett with the new guy
4. The good-looking foreign guy to create drama between the two leads (Cole Barker, anyone?)
5. One friend giving another a pep-talk about the will-they, won't-they romance, encouraging them to go for it. They of course realize their friend is right, but still never go through with it.
6. A cop/inspector/detective using a fake badge to infiltrate a situation. Seriously, every show does this like five times per season.
7. An episode involving the contents of a diplomatic pouch. 'White Collar' had a much better version of this type of episode.

But that last one is irrelevant, because this episode wasn't about the crime of the week. And thank goodness, because I've never been less invested or less interested in any case they've ever had on this show. No, "The Limey' was about Castle and Beckett.

A shock, I know.

And as noted above, this show just continues to be one cliche after another -- and just as predictable as always.

We're 78 installments into the show now, and just episodes away from the Season 4 finale.  So while it may be frustrating to some that this show has been stalling and stalling when it comes to Castle and Beckett -- it appears something is actually going to happen between the two before this season concludes.

When a show is based on the will-they, won't-they crap, which admittedly I kind of enjoy, it puts itself in a tough position. They can't put them together too soon because it could hurt ratings, but by doing so it often frustrates a portion of their viewers by dragging it out forever.

In general, I think they've done a good job of keeping them apart this long. They've had some good reasons to keep them apart, given us some good two-parter episodes and have also distracted us with cases involving the murder of Beckett's mother. Plus, seeing those two work cases together and flirt while doing so has its charms.

But much like in 'Chuck' Season 3, it appears now is the time to get a move on this. Something needs to give, and it better give come the finale.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

CASTLE: "Sometimes it's the people we think we know best that we don't know at all."

CASTLE: "Esposito, you'll be here -- dressed as a hobo."
ESPOSITO: "Question. Why does a brown man have to be a hobo?"
CASTLE: "You want the flowers?"
ESPOSITO: "Hobo it is."

CASTLE: She's fun and uncomplicated -- I think that's what my life needs right now."

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

--Loved the music in the opening. Next time I'm doing something bad and racing against the clock, I want that playing.

-Fun little moment when Castle covered his face, then Beckett's face and then his face again -- only to have Beckett get a look-see at the naked dude anyway.

THE SCORE: 58 out of 100

Don't give me crap about the score. You know and I know, that case was brutal and uninteresting. The Castle-Beckett stuff was contrived as always, and obviously any relationship Beckett has with that dude and Castle has with that stewardess will last one more week at the most. It was just a stupid plot device. And the conversation was interrupted AGAIN this week.

This episode was flat-out pointless.

I'm not wrong.

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Castle 4.17 -- Once Upon a Crime

The following is a list of things that happened during Monday's episode of 'Castle':

1. There was a crime
2. Beckett and Castle flirted
3. Castle's mother annoyed him
4. There was a twist in the case
5. Beckett and Castle got the wrong killer
6. Castle accidentally stumbled upon a clue to determine the real killer
7. Captain Gates was nowhere to be found

By now, perhaps you realize that I could use this intro as my review on almost every single Castle episode ever made.

This isn't a complaint on "Once Upon a Crime". It was a typical Castle episode, which means it was enjoyable-enough. The crime was interesting and provided some twists, Beckett and Castle were fun together as always and at the end of the episode I'm glad I watched it.

That's about all there is to say, really. It would be nice if they mixed things up a bit more, but with the flashback 1940s themed episode and the two-parter we just had, it was no surprise to see a more standard 'Castle' episode here.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

There were none. Not really a great sign.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

--Creepy, creepy dolls.

--If I got a nickle for every time Castle lucked upon a crazy clue at the end of an episode that solved the crime, I might be able to get sometime from a vending machine by now. Or at least a gumball.

--I watched the episode on ABC.com Tuesday morning and they played ads for the Academy Awards. That's a real good marketing/advertising plan, ABC!

SCORE: 68 OUT OF 100

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Castle 4.16 -- Linchpin

If you subscribe to the magic bullet theory (or THIS), than perhaps you didn't like Monday night's 'Castle' two-part conclusion.

But if you're a conspiracy theorist who lies awake at night wondering about Lee Harvey Oswald, 'Castle' delivered a wonderful episode following last week's "Pandora."

Or, if you're like me and blame Kennedy's assassination on Lyndon B. Johnson [editor's note: this nutjob does not represent the opinion of the site], then you can't fully decide on whether "Linchpin" was a great episode or if it sucked. And considering I'm currently writing a review of the episode, I should probably make a decision, huh?

Whether or not you believe in the conspiracy theories that are out there, chances are that they intrigue you in some way. They're fun to try to piece together, to disprove, or to debate. They are also fun to watch, especially when played out with two characters that I think everyone who watches this show really likes.

So even though I didn't buy the likelihood of a CIA agent turning against the United States in a ridiculously crazy plot to start a World War III, I can still enjoy the episode for what it was.

Entertaining.

And for a show with little mythology (we'll get to that later), we just want to have some fun in the week-to-week cases. Plausibility, while bothersome sometimes, doesn't matter much.

Normally when I watch procedurals on TV, I just sit back and let it happen. Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I don't try to solve the crime before they do. Maybe it's because I'm lazy (or stupid). But with a crazy conspiracy going on in this episode, I tried.

I went into it thinking it was Gates, but should have known better that they wouldn't have just introduced our bad guy in the previous episode without some sort of twist. So I automatically believed him when he said there was a CIA traitor. So then I assumed it was Danberg, since he conveniently didn't notice Gates getting murdered and it had to be someone we knew, not some random CIA agent.

And my suspicion appeared to be confirmed, when the computer hack was tracked back to him and he took a hostage to escape (it was fun to see everyone turn on Agent Tran for a few seconds first). But when Sophia went on the elevator to go after him and told them to lock the place down, I wondered why should she be allowed to leave? What if she was the traitor?

Despite figuring it out before Beckett and Castle did, I have to give this episode credit for all the twists and turns and the utter chaos in a fun and unique story. Problems or plausibility aside, that's still better than a run-of-the-mill murder episode.

And this was no ordinary episode. While we still aren't any closer to figuring out the Beckett sniper situation or her mother's murder, we have a new mythology aspect to the show that we will constantly wonder about: who the hell is Castle's father!?

NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

CASTLE TO BECKETT, in the submerged car: "Stay here." (Um, yeah, where was she going to go?)

ESPOSITO, complaining about not knowing what's going on: "I was special forces. I used to eat classified for breakfast. And writer boy can know? ... I'm glad you're OK."  (It should be Ryan who is complaining, because I think I saw him for a whole two seconds in this episode.)

SOPHIA, YELLING AT CASTLE: "You're the same reckless, immature, self-centered jackass that you always were and you put this investigation at risk. You're sorry? We're on the verge of the next 9/11 or worse. This isn't one of your damn books, Rick. This is real life and when things go bad you can't just re-write the ending like you did with us."  (Seems like she was more angry about the relationship than with the world coming to an end. Just saying.)

CASTLE: "I thought you were the bad guy?
GAGE: "If I were the bad guy, you'd be dead by now." (Why didn't I think of that?)


RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

--I much prefer "linchpin" to be spelled with the 'y'. Lynchpin. Yes, that looks better. 

--So Castle has a touch-screen board trying to decipher the Beckett sniper situation. Pretty cool. Remind anyone of this!?

--I know cops are bad-ass and all and need to stay calm, but neither Beckett or Castle freaked out while underwater? Forget the fact that I can't swim, I would be going crazy. And be dying.

--That scene was pretty intense for a brief moment, but it would've been nice to fully see how they got, but instead the camera panned out, we heard some gunshots and then all the sudden Beckett and Castle are on the beach. Disappointing.

--Poor Castle saves Beckett's life and then gets grilled by her about his previous sexual relations with Sophia. Where is the appreciation, damnit!?

--Does it bother anyone else that on television it ALWAYS comes down to the final second? 'Chuck' bomb defusals almost always have one second left, the games on 'Friday Night Lights' always come down to the last play and the bad guys on 'Castle' always gets taken down right before they do something bad. That happened twice in this episode alone. I get that it adds to the suspense, but man this is getting old already.

--Sorry, 'shippers, but it looks like Sophia is the new reason why Castle and Beckett won't hook up for a while. She said she regretted sleeping with Castle and ruining that burning desire. That  may cause Beckett to think twice about hooking up with Castle.

SCORE: 89 out of 100

It was a good conclusion to a fun little mystery/conspiracy. It could have been better and more realistic, so I'll take a few points off for it. But ultimately, who cares. It's an episode I'll look fondly back on. I mean, who doesn't love see bonding over near-death experiences and asking who's your daddy?

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Review: Castle 4.15 - Pandora

I'm a sucker for two-part episodes.

Anything that breaks up the monotony of mostly forgettable "bad guy of the week" episodes that police procedurals almost always do, is a good thing. Two-parters are compelling, can go in any direction at any time and allow for more and better storytelling, while often ending up as the episodes that you're most likely to remember once the season is over.

And who doesn't love a cliffhanger?

Sure, the stakes are never that high on this show (except maybe for the sporadic episodes involving Beckett's mother's murder), but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the action, the twists and turns and the heightened suspense and emotion that Castle's two-part episodes provide.

In the case of this week's Castle ("Pandora"), things aren't as intense as they were in the show's previous attempts (2.17-2.18 and 3.16-3.17 ... who could ever forget Castle and Beckett in the freezer together?), but for the first time in a while I am rather excited to see next week's episode. And this is a show that I really love.

But perhaps just as good as a cliffhanger, is a good conspiracy. This episode features rogue CIA agents, a former muse/lover of Castle's, Beckett jealously, sick government technology and bad-ass dudes. All of that in the first part and we still don't know what the bad guy's plan is.

This guy is so bad-ass, that I find myself rooting for him. So what if he's trying to destroy the United States for seemingly no reason whatsoever?

Anyone who...

1. Purposely gets arrested to set a plan in motion
2. Breaks out of handcuffs in a police station completely undetected
3. Steals a police uniform from the precinct
4. Hacks into police servers so they can kill even more people
5. Stares down Beckett despite the fact that he can't see her behind a one-way mirror
6. Continues to eat their sandwich while cops kick in their apartment door, point guns at him and tell him to put his hands up

...is someone that makes for a compelling villain and one damn good reason to check out next week's conclusion.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

--Sophia Conrad to Beckett: "He wanted an up-close-and-personal look at the life of a female CIA Agent, so I gave him one." The quote wasn't as memorable as Castle sipping his coffee and trying not to make eye contact with Beckett afterwards.

--Castle: "No, hey, sorry boys. Classified. Top secret. No, our eyes only. Defcon 1. And if I did tell you, well then I'd have to kill you." 
Esposito, acting all tough: "Yeah? Good luck with that."
Castle: "Yeah, realistically, that's not..."
Esposito: "I wanna go on record that this sucks."
Ryan: "Sucks."
Beckett: "Yeah, noted."


--Castle: "We're all on the same team here."
--Beckett: "No, you're on her team. Because by the way you look at her, you're sure as hell not on mine."

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

--OF COURSE Castle deciphers the chess secret code before the CIA does. 
--Castle's reaction to Beckett showing off her muscle car knowledge was great. As was the look he gave when she said "we should go to the track and see who laps who."
--I'm not intelligent enough to truly know the difference between good acting and bad acting (for the most part), but am I the only one that felt like Jennifer Beals just completely mailed in that performance? Just seemed lame and over-the-top.
--I enjoyed Castle's two rants about his "world's colliding" regarding Alexis' internship. Reminds me of the classic George Costanza scene from Seinfeld. 
--Shot, stabbed, choked and thrown out the window. Damn. Which of those four ways would you LEAST like to be killed?


'CASTLE' STEALING FROM 'CHUCK'?:

--Castle and Beckett getting stuffed in a trunk was quite reminiscent of Chuck and Sarah from Season 1s Chuck vs. the Imported Hard Salami.
--Rogue CIA Agents ... Fulcrum, anyone?
--Castle and Beckett getting blindfolded entering and leaving the CIA base, just like Chuck had to do with Jill.
--It looks like the CIA stole some of Carmichael Industries' equipment.
--Pretty sick move when Gates stole the gun pointed at him from Beckett and turned it back on her in less than a second. Does he have the intersect, too? And if so, the good version or the tainted one?
--Did anyone else immediately think of Chuck vs. the Ex when this episode opened with a dude getting thrown out of a window and landing on top of a car?

OK, I'll stop now. If you aren't a Chuck nerd, I sincerely apologize for that section.
 

SCORE: 87 out of 100

I didn't want to provide a play-by-play recap of the episode or the conspiracy going on in it. If you saw the episode, you already know what's going on (to some degree) and if you didn't see it yet, I'm not going to spoil an episode that you really should be watching.

I find it hard to grade the first of two-part episodes, since I feel like a part of this score should ultimately hinge on what happens in Part 2. But "Pandora" featured an intriguing story, a couple decent subplots and a cliff-hanger (will Castle and Beckett drown? Dun dun dun.), so for now it grades highly. Speaking of which, I think I was too generous last week with "The Blue Butterfly". Let's knock that one down to an 81.

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CASTLE 4.14 -- The Blue Butterfly

NCIS, The Mentalist, Criminal Minds, CSI, The Closer, Law & Order SVU, Hawaii Five-O, Blue Bloods, Bones, Unforgettable, Prime Suspect, Body of Proof – weekly TV police procedurals are even more common and annoying than New England Super Bowl appearances and halftime show controversies.

Before you flip me the bird for leaving off a certain show near and dear to your geeky heart, just know I did so for good reason.

Because Castle, in this week’s “The Blue Butterfly”, did what no other of those weekly procedurals can do:  satisfy our need for more Nathan Fillion (in Dick Tracy attire, no less), successfully travel back to a 1940s mob jazz club, appease the Castle-Beckett ‘shippers (even if it wasn’t real) and give us the fun twist and turns that one expects from a show like this. 

And we get all of this while simultaneously treasure hunting? And with no Nicholas Cage!? Castle fans are spoiled. 

When a modern-day treasure hunter is killed, an old 1940s private detective’s diary is found – leading Castle, Beckett and the rest of the cast (except for “Iron Gates”, whose presence is completely useless in this show in general. We miss you, Montgomery) to the search of the valuable Blue Butterfly necklace, where Castle’s vivid imagination turns a standard TV crime trope into an exciting, amusing and sexy journey.

The episode goes back and forth between their present-day investigation and the clues from the diary being played out by in Castle’s mind. Beckett playing a dolled-up mob bosses girl? No complaints here.

It also links back to a previous double murder in the 1940s, where Castle and Beckett’s character quickly fall in love and but fail to make off together with the diamond necklace before being killed by the mob boss – played by Mark Pellegrino (nice to see him working for someone other than the Ring).

But just like the double murder and the investigation of the current-day murderer, nothing is as it seems. In the investigation, we are pointed in several directions: a competing treasure hunter, a financial backer, a homeless squatter and the mob bosses’ great grandson –  but no matter who you guessed to be the culprit you were wrong. Because we learn at the last minute it was a character that wasn’t even an option. Nothing grinds my gears on a TV show more than when the murderer is essentially introduced at the very last second out of nowhere. So lame.

But that was fairly inconsequential as it turned out to only be the secondary mystery, as the twists and turns that played out like a Castle novel were far from over.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

--Detective Ryan: “Maybe clothes aren’t the only thing they’re laundering.” C’mon, Kevin. How did you say that with a straight face?

--Castle (playing the 1940s private eye) describing Beckett’s  character in his fantasy portrayal of the diary: “This dame was trouble on two legs.” I wish people talked like that now. Let’s bring it back.

--Castle, after his private detective character gets roughed up by Ryan and Esposito (who play the muscle for a mob boss): “You should see what my face did to the other guy’s fist.” I can see Esposito as mob muscle, since he used to be a bad-ass sniper. But Ryan? That guy is a pipsqueak. Castle would have destroyed him. And getting beat up just for looking at a woman? I wouldn’t have lasted long in the 40s, I don’t think.

--Castle to Beckett: “If you want a beginning, middle and an end, I have 27 novels you can choose from.” Resulting in Beckett giving Castle a John Casey-like grunt. I miss Chuck.

SCORE: 86 out of 100

It was a good, entertaining and unique episode, but let’s not go overboard. Some may overrate it simply due to the fact that Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic kissed or because this episode has been hyped for a while, but at times it was predictable and the identity of the murderer was a cop-out.  I should take off some more points for the totally ridiculous fact that Beckett didn’t arrest the old couple. How about murder, arson or faking your own deaths? Really, nothing? 

If you think my grade is too harsh, well tough luck. I sucked at school so maybe I don’t want to see anyone else do well, either. Even if it is one of my favorite shows.

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