Jess worries that she and Russel don't share the same passion as he did with his ex-wife.
Plot
Nick's early onset of midlife crisis rears its ugly head when he sees that the rest of his friends are seemingly growing up and living the kind of life he once thought he would have. As a coping mechanism, and in an attempt to break out of the habits that have resulted in his stunted development, he starts a tomato farm on the roof of his building. When Winston tries to talk to him about this sudden change, and after a brief spat, Nick admits that he misses his best friend of shared misery. Winston tells his friend that failing doesn't mean you give up. Nick needs to check back into his life, dump the loser, and have more faith in his ability to win again.
Cece, who is still hiding her true feelings for her lover, makes a knee-jerk decision to pull the plug on their relationship due to the pregnancy scare. Schmidt tries to play it cool and quickly accepts a date with her Russian model roommate, Nadia. Despite Jess' encouragement to admit her feelings, Cece maintains the illusion of disconnect for Schmidt even as a storm of love and lust rages within. But when she finds out that Schmidt's date ended suddenly and in a hospital stay, she rushes to his side and, in easily the most romantic moment so far on the show, confesses to the iced-penis bed-ridden Schmidt that she likes him. Unfortunately, this stirs his injured member to life and causes him such severe pain that Cece has to rush out to save him from further agony.
When a dinner with Russel and his ex-wife reveals a passion between the two that intimidates Jess, she attempts to push his buttons to create the same kind of spark. Unfortunately for her, Russel is a man who has experienced the things she still dreams about and has accepted that wild passion isn't something he needs in his life. Jess is still idealistic about love and sober truth isn't something she's looking to hear, and ends their relationship.
When a newly single Jess arrives at home, she finds a barely dressed Caroline in Nick's room. Nick and Jess then argue about their life choices and the passion between them is so potent that nothing happens because this is TV, ladies and gentlemen, and the writers just want to implant the thought in your heads that these two should be together but they won't be because then you'd stop watching.
Quotables
When Schmidt goes over to Cece's apartment, Nadia answers the door.
Nadia: Cece! Da Jewish is here to make sex!
Nadia: I hear you make sex through Cece wall. You sound like dog being stepped on.
Nadia: I like his face. I want to punch, punch, punch!
When Cece ends the relationship with Schmidt, Nadia jumps right in and offers up a sex date.
Nadia: I make him put on black shawl. Pretend he's grandma.
At dinner, Nadia tosses out many things she likes about America. Including...
Nadia: Ice skating for fun, not to save life.
Nadia: Why don't you get in your spaceship like McMouse?
Schmidt: Are you saying Mickey Mouse?!
Nadia: Yes.
Schmidt: In America, honey, okay, Mickey Mouse is earthbound.
Nadia: Lets do sex party. I sex you in face.
Schmidt: You're gonna sex me in my face?
When Cece comes home, Nadia tells her that Schmidt is in the hospital.
Cece: The hospital? Is he okay?!
Nadia: I don't know. I leave him there. I go make bowling.
Cece: Nadia! Like honestly, what did you do to him?!
Nadia: He cry and cry. (chuckling) It was so funny.
When Cece and Schmidt make up in the hospital, he becomes aroused and writhes around in pain.
Schmidt: Oh my god, my penis is having a heart-attack.
Schmidt: Don't bend over! For crying out-loud, what are you, nuts?!
Schmidt: Call a nurse. Call a male nurse. Probably a heavyset male nurse would be nice. De... describe it to them as like a, as a battered highway cone.
Rating
If I had to rate this episode, and Jess' squat-thoughts make me feel like I do, then I'd give it:
88 out of 100
It was a fairly good episode with some memorable moments and bits of dialogue. Though I didn't talk about her much in the review, but quoted her like crazy, Nadia made me laugh every time she said anything. Her accent and her lunatic mentality, or was that a lack of a thought filter, were very entertaining.
