I seem to be making a habit now out of reviewing two episodes of this show in one article. It's not really by design. I was just really lazy last week. So, forgive me for being brief, or whatever I'm about to do in reviewing both.
3.08 'Lo Scandalo'
Malory calls Archer and Lana to her apartment where they find the Italian prime minister has been murdered, and is tied up to a chair wearing some rubbery sex outfit thing. She tells them intruders killed him and that she needs help. The entire ISIS gang eventually shows up, followed by a cop, and everyone has to pretend they're having a fancy party. In the end, the house party leaves carrying pieces of the murder victim and we discover that Malory killed him over some longstanding personal issue.
QUOTABLES
After Malory tells Archer and Lana her story about how the prime minister was murdered, Archer isn't buying her version of events.
Archer: Lawyer up. Call the cops.
Malory: What?!
Archer: Oh and hit the throttle on the bourbon because I'm gonna have to, uhh [chuckles to himself] bust you in the face a couple of times.
Malory: What're you talking about?!
Archer: Self-defense, mother. It's your only shot. We've gotta uncuff him and de-dildo him, obviously. We'll smash the furniture like he was chasing you around all rapey. Fortunately, he's Italian, so that shouldn't be too hard to sell.
Malory has a flashback to her interaction with her super that she thinks may make dumping a body problematic.
Super: [speaking with an Irish accent] Well, ma'am. It's just that Christmas, the tenants usually give me a small consideration for the work I do all year keeping up the building. We surely count on it, ma'am, especially this year as we had more than the usual medical bills.
Malory: Your point being?
Super: Well, it's just that for the third year running, you gave me a potato.
Malory: Oh dear. So once again you're faced with the classic Irishman's dilemma. Do I eat the potato now or let it ferment so I can drink it later?! [slams door shut]
Little Boy: [coughing and on a crutch] Will I get the operation now, dad?
Super: No, son. [wipes tear with the potato] You're gonna die.
If I had to rate this one, I'd give it:
88 out of 100
I thought the payoff of Malory having manipulated the entire situation was great and showed up a countless number of shows that try oh so very hard, every week, to construct something remotely as interesting. However, having this kind of single "set" episode on a show that can just draw up its own location shoots felt a bit underwhelming while still being an entertaining who-done-it.
3.09 'Bloody Ferlin'
Ray turns out to have been faking having useless paralyzed legs and is caught steeling shit from the armory so he can go rescue his drug farming hick brother who is having problems with the local sheriff. Archer decides to help him because this plot is similar to the one from WHITE LIGHTNING, one of those Burt Reynolds movies he loves so much. They bring along Carol to pretend that she's his wife, though she seems to think they're actually married.
When they find the hell hole his brother Randy lives in, they also find he's married to a hottie named Jenell, who Archer naturally wants to bang. And since they have an open relationship, Randy wants to bang Carol. When Ray finds out, he is pissed off that his brother wants to bang his fake wife (and apparently succeeds at doing just that). Eventually Archer tells Randy that Ray is a super secret spy and the two brothers end their brief spat.
When the sheriff surrounds Randy's home, the gang makes war not love. Though, when Ray finds out his brother has been just a tad full of shit, he knocks him out and turns him in to the po-po. Carol pretends they were hostages. Lalalala.
QUOTABLES
Randy reveals his massive marijuana crop to the gang.
Ray: How did you afford all this?!
Randy: Farm subsidy.
Jenell: He told the government he's growing corn for that high fluctose syrup.
Randy: But damned if I'm gonna contribute to the obesity epidemic!
Archer: Hey, a man's gotta have a code.
Randy seems to think the Bible gives him permission to have an open relationship but Ray tells Archer otherwise. When Archer finds Randy's wife alone, he finds a way to skirt around it.
Archer: What is important is that Randy gave me a Bible lesson.
Jenell: Yeah? And what did the Bible say?
Archer: Well, Jenell, obviously the actual scripture is open to interpretation, but what I took away from it is that we should go in the barn and screw our brains out on a huge pile of marijuana.
Jenell: It didn't say nothing about a rubber, did it?
Archer: [happily chuckling] It did not!
During the big shootout, Archer, having downed tons of moonshine, isn't much help.
Randy: Well, don't just sit there! Shoot!
Archer: Ohhh. I can't. Ohhh. I feel sick. What's happening? Do I have cancer again?
Ray: You drank too much!
Archer: That's a thing?
If I had to rate this one, I'd give it:
89 out of 100
Not enough sex.
