And so we return to the adorkable one and her happy gang of freaks, geeks, and creeps.
Speaking of, this latest episode could have been called "Nick and Jess' Ménage à Trois with the Creepy Landlord."
There are two basic setups for this episode. The first being that Nick and Jess are in an argument over his negativity versus her positiveness. She thinks she can fix any situation with a smile and kindness. He thinks people are just bad and that they will harm you the first chance they get. Jess wins point one when they are confronted with a gun wielding psychopath in a parking lot as they fight over a spot. When Jess talks the man down with kindness, she thinks her methods are foolproof.
The second setup is that Schmidt's boss may or may not be coming onto him via suggestive language. Schmidt thinks she wants to sex him up but every time he starts to react, she seems to send him mixed signals. So, will Schmidt have the sexy time with the boss girl or will he get hurt? Tune in!
When utilities in the apartment continue to be problematic, Jess suggests the boys get the landlord to fix things. The boys are horrified at the suggestion, warning Jess not to talk to him, telling her that he is a bad man. But she is convinced she can calm any savage beast with her sweetness, so she goes to see him.
The landlord doesn't seem very receptive to Jess' adorkable ways at first but when she mentions there are four people living in the apartment, he is surprised since there are only supposed to be four occupants. Jess goes back to the apartment to tell the boys, who are horrified! When the landlord knocks on the door, they go into emergency mode and toss Schmidt's bed out the window, then pretend he is a foreign friend who has been staying over. This fails but the landlord seems most upset by a painting on a closet wall. As he tries to leave, Jess finally uses her charms to get him to agree to fix some things for her.
It quickly becomes evident to Nick that the only reason the landlord is helping Jess is because he wants to do the sexy sex with her. He tells Jess but she dismisses it, still wanting to believe that the landlord is being nice because of her sweet disposition. But when the landlord reveals he is ready for their three-way, Nick gloats and demands she admit to being wrong. When she refuses, the threesome is on! Eventually Nick calls Jess' bluff, by going in for a kiss, and she admits to being wrong. When the landlord still doesn't seem phased, the gang is saved a raping by Winston (who finally has a purpose!) whose arrival turns the landlord off (apparently he doesn't do foursomes).
In Schmidt's world, he finally goes for it with his boss while in the parking garage. She is receptive but security guards see the sexual assault on surveillance cameras and think she is being raped. Schmidt gets beat up and arrested.
QUOTABLES
As Nick and Jess sit in their car, confronted by a gun wielding man in another car, Jess tries to reason with him while Nick freaks out.
Jess: Don't use guns [gestures and smiles].
Nick: Stop it! Just stop it! Just get down! [to the gun wielding man] We're sorry! Take the spot. [to Jess] Just be submissive!
Jess: Sorry. [pointing to Nick] Sorry about this guy.
Nick: What you.. don't apologize!
Jess: He's overreacting.
Nick: I'm overreacting?! He has a gun and you're dressed like a bulls-eye.
At dinner, the landlord offers Nick some of his home brew alcohol but Nick, who suspects the landlord is just trying to lube them up with drink, counters.
Remy: Think you can handle some, Nick?
Nick: Oh, I'm okay. Somebody needs to stay sober to fight you later.
When Jess tells the landlord that Nick had a painful breakup, the two bond.
Remy: Did you smell your girl on your sheets for months until they were too soaked through with your own sweat and tears?
Nick: No.
Remy: Did you punch out all the windows until you hit the wall and broke your hand? Did you go out looking for companionship, a little human warmth, only to come through in the woods covered in animal blood?
Nick: In my own way.
Remy: Come here man. [they embrace]
When Remy tells Nick and Jess to start the threesome while he watches, Nick seems excited at the prospect of finally winning the argument.
Jess: Nick, I will do this!
Nick: Say that you're wrong and it's over.
Jess: I'm not wrong.
Nick: Jess, you can't do this but I can.
Jess: Okay. Let's do this, Nick!
Nick: [happily] Then let's do it, Jess.
Jess: I can do it.. [as Nick goes in for the kiss] Nooooo, okay fine, I admit it! I'm wrong!
Nick: [hands raised in the air] Yes! Yes!
If I had to rate this one, I'd give it:
88 out of 100
It was a creepily fun episode. The best part was watching Jess and Nick deal with the awkwardness of Remy's threesome and Jess' uncomfortable attempt at not having to admit to being wrong. Schmidt's side story was kind of fun too and the payoff in the parking garage was briefly great. Though, the ending with him semi-naked on the table, posing for the Japanese business men on the other side left me kind of meh.
ONE LAST THING: When did Nick break up with his girlfriend? I ask because he seemed very willing to kiss Jess (even if it was just to prove a point). Isn't he in a committed relationship? Nick doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would cheat on his girl even if it is with the girl he'd rather be with, or to just win an argument. So, party foul on the writers... even if it was the best moment of the episode.
