Jess baby-sits Russell's daughter and meets his ex-wife; Schmidt and Cece have a pregnancy scare; Nick's girlfriend may be too young for... and that's all my DVR info thingy would tell me so I imagine the next words were "riding the ferris wheel."
Cece thinks she may be preggers with Schmidt's douche-spawn, but has to wait to take the pregnancy test. Schmidt worries that Cece is becoming a girl and wants to be his one and only (the horror), or at least I think that's what is going on but there were like 12 seconds where I got distracted. Yet he asks her out on a real date but she turns him down telling him he should ask someone else. Clearly these two are enjoying that whole duality of man thing.
Jess has to baby-sit Russell's daughter, Sarah, and meet his ex-wife in the process, but you already knew that. What you didn't know is that Sarah gets all crushy on Nick. Then freaks out and locks herself up in his room. No worries, she comes out to reveal her baby bump, so it is all good.
Winston? Something about his boss. And Nick has a girlfriend who is all kinds of intellectual and cool.
When Schmidt finds out that Cece may be pregnant, he is strangely excited about the whole thing, while she is horrified by his reaction. But he says all the right things and brings out her happy-face.
Who is not enjoying the happy-face you ask? Sarah, when the gang has a meal together, stares down Nick's girlfriend. But the two soon realize they know each other from back in the school bus days. And that is when Nick finds out his super mature girlfriend is only 18. Now, on this show he has to pretend that's a bad thing but any dude in the real world would be happy about that because it would mean she wouldn't start getting old and losing her looks for another 3 years!
I may have gone a little too guy-honest with that last sentence.
In the end, Sarah gets over Nick; Cece gets her period; and Schmidt nearly has a "Marry Me" skywriting scare. Winston? No one cares.
Jess: Like, you're using birth control, right?
Cece: Yeah, of course. It's just that Schmidt gets so athletic that birth control becomes like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane.
Jess: I didn't wanna know that.
Schmidt: They say that I needed a Magnum sized diaper.
Sarah: Why do you have so many bras? You're a teacher.
Jess: Teachers need bras too.
Jess tells Sarah she can ask her anything.
Sarah: Do you and my dad ever 'dry lump?'
Sarah: Is sexting cool?
Jess: What? No. It's not cool.
Sarah: Have you done a '99?'
Jess: I think that's a tax form.
Sarah: Have you ever given anyone 'plow chops?'
Jess: I don't know.
Sarah: How do you make love to a person 'animal style?'
Jess: Do you wanna learn how to play bridge?
Sarah: Oh my god! Oh my god! I love Nick so, so, so much! He's so hot!
Jess: That Nick?
Sarah: I wanna rub my face on his face!
When Nick's girlfriend goes to get dessert, Nick gloats.
Nick: See? Thoughtful and mature. In your face! Yes!
Jess: Congratulations. You're dating a girl with basic table manners. You win, why don't you get on her healthcare plan?
Nick: I'm 30-years old and I've peed in every pool I've been into. Every single one.
If I had to rate this episode, and Schmidt's phantom zygote thinks I should, I'd give it:
80 out of 100
It was a little bit wild and fun at times but didn't really thrill me like some others have this season. Still, enjoyable enough to be watched. Though, suddenly, the whole Schmidt and Cece relationship is starting to show the usual network TV wear, when the writers start trying to amp up the romance drama. Sigh... I was enjoying their tons-of-sex life with a tiny mix of future romance potential.