I really think this show just needs to do party episodes because those seem to be the most fun. Wedding, Thanksgiving, and birthday have all been really good to great.
"The Story of the 50" starts with the roommates talking about Schmidt putting $50 in the "douchebag jar" for which he seems to be the main, if not the only, donator. Schmidt is such a douchebag that we are shown several of his indiscretions. The roommates even discuss how he speaks a different language where he shortens common words down to some douchebag colloquialism.
We also see that Nick has a lawyer significant other who seems really cool, even as Nick tries to hide his friends from her. Though, she has her own secret that we discover later in the episode.
Meanwhile, Jess is trying to put together a special surprise party-bus birthday for Schmidt involving friends, Nick's bro juice, a stripper, and extra special douchebags. Things go well until Schmidt's super douchie douchebag friend, Benjamin, tries to hit on Jess and then shit talks the party-bus. When the boys confront him, Nick's lawyer-girl steps in to break the ruckus up, only to go all kung-fu crazy and start punching! The bus crashes and the party ends.
Later, as Jess and Schmidt chill like two bros talking about the party, Schmidt tries to sneak a kiss to Jess' uncomfortable horror. And that earns the douchebag jar $50. And while this write-up sure sounds boring as shit, the episode rules.
Fuck this noise and let's get to a couple of QUOTABLES!
Schmidt tries to explain his relationship with Benjamin to Jess.
Schmidt: Look, we have a very weird girl-style friendship where we kind of hate each other. We're bronemies. He's my friemesis.
When Jess decides to throw Schmidt a surprise birthday party, Nick doesn't think it is such a good idea.
Nick: Jess, Schmidt's world is different than ours. They speak a different language. They shorten every word to one syllable. Okay, he once called an oven an 'ovs.' He calls an airport 'airp.'
Winston: He called ketchup 'ketch.'
Nick: Last month he went to a party called 'Bros Before Hos on the Moon.' What does that even mean? And the dress code was yacht flair.
If I had to rate this one, I'd give it:
90 out of 100
Fun characters and dialogue. Nick's girly girl is cute and I want to see more of her. Seeing college Schmidt's flashback, when he was a fatty, was fun but I would have liked to have seen even more of it. Plus, it's just nice to have the show back doing new episodes.