26 July, 2011

Boba Fett: Overrated Loser?

Writer: Greek Geek

Boba Fett, the most “notorious” bounty hunter in the Star Wars universe and fan favorite is an overrated fraud. Sorry BFFs (Boba Fett fanboys) but before any of you get your braided wookie scalps all tangled up in a fuzzball, take a deep breath and really think about it.

No hate, just cold hard objectivity. Boba looks the part, but he certainly doesn’t act it. Sure, he looks all mysterious and badass with the armor, weapons and gadgets, but when it comes time for him to back it up… HE DOESN”T ACTUALLY DO MUCH OF ANYTHING.

A quick breakdown of Boba’s onscreen* “accomplishments” should provide more than enough proof:

Episode II
All Baby Boba does is: scowl; pack his things; fire Slave 1’s cannons at Obi Wan…and miss (0 for 1); and watch daddy bite it.

Episode IV (Special Edition)
So Lucas decides to insert him in the Special Edition and what super badass cool thing does Boba do? He stands around Docking Bay 94 doing…nothing.

Episode V
Arguably the only two “major” accomplishments Boba has are in this film. He plays follow the Falcon to Cloud City and delivers a gift wrapped frozen Han to Jabba. In fact, we never actually see Fett deliver Han do we? Hmmmm…

Other than that he: stands next to Vader a lot; gets warned to not disintegrate anyone; watches Han get tortured, frozen and loaded into the cargo hold of Slave 1; oh, he also fires at Luke… and misses (0 for 2).

Episode VI
Boba picks up where he left off in Empire, this time he: draws but doesn’t fire; nods; flirts; blasts off; tries to shoot…but has his rifle cut in half (0 for 3); unsuccessfully tries to tie up Luke; falls down; gets up; flies; screams; and ends up as a 1000 year lunch.

Remember that 1979 prototype Fett figure with the firing rocket pack that wasn't mass produced because of safety concerns? That freaking piece of plastic was more dangerous to small children than Boba was to any of his targets in the films.


Screw that, I'm gonna REALLY go there - Jar Jar Binks, the most reviled character in the Star Wars universe, the polar opposite of Boba is a deadlier warrior than Fett. In fact, his actions are more significant to the entire Star Wars universe.


Blasphemy?! Nope. Truth.

Episode I
Jar Jar leads the Gungan army against the Trade Federation battle droids and...wins! In the process he ends up destroying a whole mess of them with those deadly blue Gungan volleyballs.

Episode II
Jar Jar gives a Senate speech that turns the tide in favor of granting Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers. Freaking Jar Jar opens the door to Palpy becoming Emperor! His actions essentially bring about the rise of the Empire! Mesa tinkin datsa pretty significant.

So for all you BFFs who are getting ready to flame me below, just accept the fact that your hero Boba Fett is actually Boba Kitty.
*The films are canon. So no expanded universe, video game, or comic book crap.

38 comments:

  1. Vader's My Little Pony PillowJuly 26, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    Exsqueeze me???

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  2. You heathen! There's no such thing like episode 1, 2 or 3!
    There are only three Star Wars movies: Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of the Jedi!
    Everything else is commercial fluff...

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  3. @Henry

    Regardless of the existence of the prequel trilogy, the fact remains Boba essentially did squat in the original films.

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  4. @Greek Geek

    This, I can accept...

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  5. Fact: the prequels are superior in every way to the originals.

    Or so my younger cousins think. :)

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  6. Boba's still the best...

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  7. @Anonymous,

    Sure he's the best...at being a poseur.

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  8. I have been making this argument since 1980. An instance where the clothes (and nothing else) makes the man.

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  9. There's no arguing with the facts.

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  10. I think you pretty much got it right. We have always said that. I think it was his enigmatic appearance in Empire that solidified his place in geeks everywhere...other than that...meh. His getting dumped into the Sarlack (sp?) pit was pretty hilarious. Things worked out a little better for him in the original Marvel comic series.

    Still there is no doubt in my mind he is the coolest of the original Star War figures from way back...even if the missile didnt shoot off. I still have one on my desk at work.

    "Boba Fett?...Where?"
    BONK!!!
    DEATH.
    :(

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  11. Boba was my prized possession for a long time. Easily my favorite Star Wars action figure (at least until I got Vader with the removable helmet).

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  12. Thou art a Heretic and infidel.

    Fete was the only one devious enough to track Han down. with out that there is no 2nd half of the movie

    He was also directly warned by lord Vader no disintegration's. so that hints that he is rather "bad ass"

    also EP IV (SE) is not cannon i refuse to acknowledge any changes made after it was shown in the theaters to be cannon

    further almost no one in the SW's universe can hit their target (like a poor marksmen "they" keep missing the target) the only reason that walking piece of calamari could hit anything was because, i think, lucas was playing by 1970 - 80's cartoon rules and only toasters could be "killed" and it was "cute" to have a klutz kill toasters

    so i discount your body count theory


    but i will grant you that that jar jar was evil since it allowed the empire to rise. so further proof it should be killed

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    1. "Hints"?! Hints don't count for much.

      Eps I-III are little better than Saturday morning cartoons as are the "improvements" Lucas made to IV-VI.

      So, Boba Fett trails Han (not bad), stands around, there's some hinting that he might have shot someone somehow sometime in the past, whines about his pay, leaves, and shows up at Jabba's place where he stands around, fails at everything he does (does not according to Yoda philosophy), and gets killed in the most ignominious way in any of the original movies. Even Guido is taken more seriously by pretty much everyone who encounters him.

      Sorry buddy, but Boba Fett is a massive poseur. Cool outfit, but nothing inside.

      Delete
  13. @Anonymous

    The ability to hunt down someone equates Fett to a tracking dog...nothing more.

    Hinting at badassness does not count. Showing it does.

    Regardless of the Special Editions, or Prequels, the fact remains Fett did jack sh*t in the Original Trilogy.

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  14. But hold it, he had a jet pack, thats pretty badass! A jetpack...with which he blasted into the side of Jabba's yacht...and fell into the Sarlacc pit. Um, nevermind.

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  15. Who was Fete? Is that the French version?

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  16. I suppose the facts lean in Binks' favor but he had a reputation for a reason, we just didn't see it.

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  17. By he I meant Boba.

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  18. @Anonymous

    I agree that Boba's reputation is alluded to in the original trilogy (i.e "No disintegrations"). But if perception is reality. I didn't perceive anything on screen to make me believe that Boba was anything more than window dressing.

    Perhaps the purpose of Jango in the prequels, is to provide the "genetic proof" of Boba's abilities. Jango backed up his rep for the most part. That could lead one to conclude that Boba is the same.

    Unfortunately, for Jango by requesting an unaltered clone, he ended up getting a son with crappy targeting and the ability to actually operate a jet pack.

    Just sayin' that this particular apple fell pretty far from the tree.

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    Replies
    1. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I'm a Fett lover myself, and the films didn't do him justice. That said- Boba IS Jango, simply put. And Jango was proven to be awesome- what with his killing off of multiple Jedi in E2. All clones are Jango's genes, but unfortunately, they were tampered with. Boba wasn't, ergo he's what Jango could have been.

      Of course, he still died horribly, and for that, in my mind, George Lucas owes me a steak dinner.

      Delete
  19. My mistake -

    Boba's inability to operate a jet pack.

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  20. Fett's Vette By MC Chris, and this is why he is a legend.

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  21. @Anonymous

    What part of "the films are canon. So no expanded universe crap" don't you get?

    If Lucasfilm sanctioned expanded universe products are not game then MC Chris sure as sh*t is not.

    But thanks for playing. We have some wonderful parting gifts for you.

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  22. Jar Jar Binks sucks. So what if Boba Fett doesn't do much. He looks like a badass. Boba is probably the coolest thing that came out of the Star Wars franchise. I love Star Wars, and I am disgusted by someone saying Jar Jar is cooler the the notorious Boba Fett

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    Replies
    1. You must be dead inside to not be able to laugh with this article.

      Delete
  23. i remember liking boba during empire cuz he was marketed as this mysterious character before empire came out. but as a kid i was really not impressed how he was defeated in jedi. basically somebody accidentally bumps him and flies off in some sad slap-stick ending. his father on the other hand was everything boba was supposta be - and his demise was much more fitting.

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  24. ok. this is ridiculous. first off tgere was several hibt as to boba's success as a bounty bounty hunter. First off as mentioned he was the only one to be smart enough to figure out that Han was right there and was able to track him to cloud city without being discovered. also notice that Han, when confronted by Greedo, was not even nervous of the encounter. He knew he could taje him easily. But anytime Boba Fett was mentioned he became neervous to the point of panicking on the sail barge. this hints that he has had more than one encounter with Fett and it has not ended well.you are correct in that in the movies he was thwarted almost every time we saw him. This was for the sake of the story. Jedi would have been very short had he suceeded in killing Luke and Han. so for the sake of the story and perhaps comic relief he suffered a demeaning 'death' at the hands of a panicking Solo. now. for Jar Jar. everything he did was on accedent. And lets not forget it was Anikan who defeated the droids by destroying the control ship. had he not Jar Jar and the gungans would have been takein captive. so 0 for 1. He also had no idea of order 66 or the intentions of the emperor. So he made his move in ignorance. 0 of 2. he never wanted to be in danger where as Fett gladly threw himself into danger. so as far as warriors go Fett was much better. now. if you do not want hear non cannon stop reading now or you will just get mad. there is no point discussing a story if you dont see the whole story. the small amount you see Boba gives no represention of him. so you must rely on outside sources to get the facts of why he was the most notorious bounty hunter in the galaxy. he actually did not doe in the bowls of the sarlack. he escaped it. twice. the second time killing it. he was only one of a few people know to escape. He also worked out his deal in empire to where he got paid a lot more than he should have by serving up two bounties on one. one to vader and one to Jabba who paid him extra for his 'work of art'. there are numerous other feats that Boba accomplished which is why he was feared,and why Vader used him. Last hint of his greatness.....why would one of most notorious gangsters in the galaxy plus the dark lord of the sith (and right hand man of the emperor who has the enitre empire at his disposal) hire the same man? because he' the best there is. granted Vader hired other hunters. but it was Fett who took the prose before the others even knew what was happening. i erge you all to reas the wookiepedia artical on Boba. a lot of interesting stuff even from the films that isn't explained. not all aspects can be shown on screen. And if the owner/author signs it into the story it is the story no matter who wrote it or what it is. my 2 cents. Boba was the best of the best.

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    1. ps. sorry about the bad grammer/spelling. the touch screen on my phone sucks.

      Delete
    2. Lol... "had he not Jar Jar and the gungans would have been takein captive. so 0 for 1."

      Your logic is so flawed it's embarrassing. The fact remains that Jar Jar has a high kill count than Fett does no matter how you spin it. Han was panicked on the Barge at the sound of Fett's name because he was literally BLIND. C3P0 has a higher hit rate than Fett does. Fett is literally the most harmless person in the official star wars canon.

      Delete
  25. IN a comic boba fett does however beat Darth Vader but decides not to kill him because the empire would go after him. Can Jar-Jar do that. I think not

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    Replies
    1. No expanded universe retard.

      Delete
  26. Just another stormtrooper but in his dad's clothes

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  27. Here's my spiel...the first 3 movies released, the ones with boba, were made when graphics tech wasn't as good as it was when the second 3 (1, 2, and 3) came out...I figure it went down something like this....

    Hey Lucas...this boba character looks pretty groovy...why is he such a poser?

    Well we don't have it in the budget, or the tech, to make awesome jetpack stuffs...so he gets to fly for 1 second and die...

    (Later) hey...what if this kid is boba!? Mango decided he wanted a son, mango dies and his son fills his shoes!

    Yeah but boba sucks in the other movies...

    Aw nobody will notice, let's make mango look awesome! That'll blind everyone to his son being a failure!

    OK, enough of that...seriously though folks...I don't think they were planning the whole father son thing at the time...probably comedy relief or something...correct me if Im wrong...

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    Replies
    1. Meant to add comment not reply...

      Steam id

      Http://www.steamcommunity.com/Id/superjail

      I play Jedi academy movie battles 2 mod usually as jango...

      Skype is this name...should also say l4dfanatic

      Delete
  28. If it wasn't for Jango, the Imperial Stormtroopers would have had different armour / uniforms.

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  29. That is why Boba Fett is a badass.
    Also, the movies didnt do him justice. Im writing this on my phone. That is why my grammar sucks. Sorry.

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