And they're back! More after the jump!
I admit it. I had grown a bit tired of this show toward the end of last season. Sure, I enjoyed elements of it a lot and thought it had potential but I also felt like it had started to wear out its welcome toward the end.
So season 2 begins having left us on a cliffhanger and wondering just what the hell the aliens are up to in their scheming ways. Here is a breakdown of what I thought was good, bad, and just damn ugly about the two-episode premiere.
1. 10 second recap of the previous season. Good because I had totally forgotten what happened.
2. The CGI is awesome!
I'm just kidding.
3. That Sawyer/Han Solo wannabe is still fun.
4. The kid with the Canadian accent who once had one of those stupid spine-stickers on him is kind of badass, provided he never speaks because once he does he sounds Canadian and we all know what that means. Right? I mean, everyone below the pipeline.
5. The cute blond chick that suddenly disappeared in season 1 --because what this show needed less of was cute blond chicks- is back! All be it in flashbacks.
6. Will Patton! I loved him in ARMAGEDDON!
7. As with season 1, I love how the show utilizes kids as part of the paramilitary force. That makes things more believable and easier to invest in on an emotional level.
8. The show is shot well.
9. The military planning stuff actually makes sense and is well written.
10. ER doc being suspicious of being brainwashed by the aliens... it's not great writing or anything, just appropriate. That's exactly what I would think.
11. Cute medic super religious chick is majorly adorahot! Even when filthy. Especially...
12. Alien eye-parasites are much cooler than spine suckers.
13. Is ER doc brainwashed?! Is he not?! Oh nos! Tension!
14. "Don't shoot, Ben. Once is enough I think." Hahahahaha! Oh snap. Burn Canadian-accent!
1. 10 second recap of the previous season. It made me realize how completely devoid of meaningful content season 1 was.
2. Those things that attach to your spine and suck out your will to be human weren't deleted. I just think they look idiotic and unnecessarily add to the camp nature of the show. It's like someone in the art department was thinking "remember that thing in Wrath of Khan? It was small right? And it was barely seen. LET'S MAKE IT HUGE AND STUPID LOOKING!" And then one of the non-writer executive producers saw it and declared it the best idea ever and thought it should be a major part of the show. Because non-writer executive producers are brilliant.
3. Will Patton is still on the show. I hate Will Patton. His face is stupid. His voice is annoying. And he can't act. Plus, he was in THE POSTMAN. And that movie sucked just a little bit more than Will Patton does in everything he has ever done. Why does he always sound like he's drunk? He didn't have like a stroke or something because then I look like a major dick right about now. I mean, more than I do saying that I hate Will Patton and that he sucks at everything.
Mind you if I ever run into Will Patton I'm going to tell him I loved him in ARMAGEDDON. I didn't but I'm going to tell him I did. Why? Because it would kill me to say anything good about THE POSTMAN and I have no clue what else he's ever done. I'm basically judging his entire career, his face, and his voice based on one role.
WATERWORLD ruled! Because he wasn't in that.
4. The American flag on a soldier's uniform should face in the opposite direction as if the flag is being blown by the wind as its wearer surges forward in battle.
5. At times the CGI is baaaad and the physics of things look goofy.
6. The episode 1 story is awkwardly told jumping between ER doc's flashbacks and the present world. It's not that it is confusing but just weirdly executed. At no point did it feel like the episode was improved by this technique.
7. These idiots bunch up way too much in the open. Spread out! One alien Jesus bolt from the sky and you're all dead!
8. Wouldn't the aliens blow up every bridge FIRST? That's what we did in Iraq. We would have done it in Afghanistan but their engineers just recently invented the wheel. Tune in around 2035 for bridges.
9. Pet peeve more than "bad"... why are people always chambering rounds in their shotguns or cocking their pistols? It's one of those really stupid things that have become way too accepted in the biz. You know like bullets that can kill you while you're underwater even though MYTHBUSTERS debunked that years ago. Come on Hollywood! The density of water either slows a bullet down so much it can't impact anything beyond a few inches, or the bullet shatters on impact. But I digress...
1. When that doctor from ER is shot early in episode 1, we see some blood gushing out of his wound. Eeewwz.
2. The cute blond chick is used as a sock puppet for the aliens. This makes her scenes nearly unspankable.
3. Dirty socks, dirty clothes, unbrushed teeth, beards, and bad hair. That's good uuuugly.
4. Canadian-accent kid's back is getting creepier.
If I had to rate these episodes, and the alien overlords are mind-controlling me to think I do, then I'd give episode 1:
75 out of 100
I didn't love season 1 but it seemed to improve once I watched episode 2.01. I had a hard time caring at all about doctor ER's life threatening wound or his new buddy who rides away. Plus, the whole story just played out too conveniently. Granted, people seem to love this shit and barely tune(d) in to watch MAD MEN or BREAKING BAD or JUSTIFIED or THE WIRE. So maybe the writers are onto something.
And episode 2:
85 out of 100
Without the weird flashback/present storyline the show found some swagger, but the VFX didn't improve any.
Still much better than THE POSTMAN. I'll tune in next week to see what happens next.
Comment below... let me know what you thought and if I should keep writing about this show. Not that I will listen.