03 May, 2012

CHUCK Month: The 'Chuck' Drinking Game!


No need for a long-winded introduction here -- the title says all that really needs to be said. Watching 'Chuck' and consuming alcohol are two of the greatest things you could ever do, so why not come up with an ingenious way to combine the two?

I now introduce to you: The Definitive Chuck Drinking Game!

(Because, when you think about it, the only way to celebrate Chuck Month is to watch 'Chuck' and drink beer at the same time. Am I wrong, people?)

It's simple. Anyime any of the following events occur in an episode of 'Chuck', take a drink...

--Captain Awesome without a shirt on (Happens essentially once per episode. If you're turned on by it, you have to take two sips of beer.)

--Chuck flashes (Drink 2 if Chuck fakes a flash. Also, no cheating. Every flash counts. For example, he flashes about 5-6 times consecutively in "Chuck vs. The Suburbs" -- you have to drink for each and every one you alcholic.)

--A Casey grunt (Drink 2 for a Verbansky grunt or a mock-grunt by someone else)

--A Casey one-liner (You know how Casey loves to chime in with his little quips. For example: "Did somebody order drive-thru?" from "Chuck vs. The First Date".

--A Ronald Reagan appearance (If you see Casey's Reagan picture frame, drink. If Beckman gives him crap about Reagan, drink. If you see or hear anything Reagan-related, you know what to do.)

--Wind machine (Anytime the wind machine is used, take a drink. Drink two if it's used on someone other than a hot chick.)

--"Awesome" (Anytime you hear that word, you gotta have a sip. You would be surprised how many times that word is used -- even when not being used to refer to Captain Awesome. Related: If Captain Awesome is called "Devon", you have to drink 2.)

--Fountain conversations (So many wonderful scenes have occurred at that fountain outside their apartment. Anytime Chuck and Sarah -- or anybody, for that matter -- have a conversation there, you must drink.)

--Casey gets excited over weaponry (When you see Casey express his love over a weapon, or clean a weapon, or complain about not using a weapon -- that counts as a drink.)

--A Nickname is used ("Hot Mama", "6-Pack", "Scraggly Troll", "Little Elf", "Wooly Friend" -- I'm sure there are some others. Drink if you hear one. Exception: Per stated earlier, you already have to drink for "Captain Awesome". So you don't have to drink again for that particular nickname. But if you still want to, I won't stop you...)

--A Casey disguise (We all love to see Casey donning a disguise for the sake of the mission. He makes a great DJ, bartender, waiter, cable guy, etc.)

--Cell phone picture (You ever notice those hilarious iPhone pictures that come up when someone is calling? Like when Awesome calls Chuck, there's a picture of Devon kissing his biceps. Or when Casey calls, you see John grunting. Take a drink anytime someone's picture is used on a phone call.)

--Buy More employees line-up (Anytime Big Mike or Emmett make the Buy More employees line up wile addressing them, have a drink. For example, when Big Mike lines them up in "Chuck vs. Santa Claus" to remind them of all the Christmas rules.)

--"Stay in the Car!" (Same goes for "stay in the van", or "stay in Castle" or any other iterations thereof. Drink two if/when Chuck complains about it. Also, anytime Chuck does something he's specifically been told not to do, have a drink. Kinda like when he manipulates the play-back device in "Chuck vs. the Beefcake" or my favorite when he writes a note saying "went to stop Roark, be back in five" and leaves it on the windshield in "Chuck vs. the Colonel".)

--Family dinners/get-togethers (Anytime the group is all gathered together at the apartment, get lubricated. So that counts thanksgiving meals, a game of charades with Alexei Volkoff, whatever.)

--The Marlin (If you see Big Mike's fish -- A.K.A. Norman, get some liquid.)

--Code words (Anytime a code word is used to signal someone else, you must take a sip. Some examples: 'Cristal' in "Chuck vs. the Beefcake" and 'Care' in "Chuck vs. the Kept Man".)

--Sarah confronted about Chuck (Anytime someone gives Sarah crap about having feelings for Chuck -- like Casey, Roan Montgomery, Carina or whoever, you have to drink.)

--Spy watch (If you see either Casey, Chuck or Sarah talking into their spy watch, have a sip of a tasty beverage. Drink 2 if it's a crazy ex-CIA agent from "Chuck vs. The Tooth".)

--Big Mike eating (If you see BM having a doughnut, a danish, a bearclaw or any other food item -- that means you have to have a drink item. And while you're at it, you may want to get some food in you too, otherwise all this drinking will not end so well for you.)

--Fake death (Anytime you thought someone was dead, when they actually weren't -- Orion, Bryce, Shaw like 3 times, the guy who took that pill in Chuck vs Predator, then you must drink.)

--Conference call with Beckman (If you see our favorite General on the monitor for a briefing, get drinking. If you see her in person, drink 2.)

--Buy More take-overs (Anytime the Buy More is infiltrated by a bad guy -- and oh man, this happens so many damn times, you should take a sip.)

--"Pineapple!" (Drink 2, because this is the greatest phrase in TV history.)

--Misc. (Anytime Morgan acts as a therapist, any mention/performance of Jeffster!, anytime the Buy-Moria flag is shown, anytime Fernando is shown, anytime the stalking prowess of Jeff and Lester is mentioned, anytime Casey tries to sell merchandise at the Buy More, anytime there is a Nerd Herd call (2 drinks if it's a fake call), and anytime Castle is utilized for something different -- like conducting a lie detector test, Sarah kick-boxing, holding prisoners, etc.)

Those are the rules, my friends. For those who are sober enough to comment -- would love to know your thoughts. Also, if you have any other cool ideas to add to the list, let's hear 'em!