Who doesn't love a good bank heist?
Well in the particular instance of White Collar 4.03 ('Diminishing Returns'), that would be me.
Tough crowd, you say? Well in my defense, THERE WASN'T EVEN A BANK HEIST in the episode about a BANK HEIST.
Neat trick, 'White Collar'. Sure, Neal and Peter showed up at the bank -- but they were 20 minutes late. That's some riveting TV, let me tell you.
Sticking with the riveting theme, I never would have guessed that Neal and Peter would work together on a case, even though Peter doesn't work for the White Collar division anymore! Who saw that coming? Clever writers they have over there.
OK, I'll stop being a dick now. Not sure about you, but I was somewhat excited about a bank robbery episode that the beginning of the episode teased it would be, but that's not what we got. We didn't really get much that episode, either. The case was boring and otherwise un-noteworthy (is that a word?), save for seeing Peter play squash and Neal teach him how to subtly influence your mark.
This episode's only real purpose was to quickly put Peter back on track to re-join White Collar soon and fully introduce the season-long arc of Neal looking for answers about his father. A wonderful added bonus: Mozzie is back in town. Alhough we all knew that was coming. This show needs him.
Although I feel like I shouldn't really care about the Neal's father storyline, this show does a good job of sucking me into investing in the season-long arcs that really aren't special or original. I hope it turns out to be interesting and isn't dragged out too long.
I also hope next week has a better case, more memorable lines, more shady Neal activity and more Mozzie. I want those two crazy kids to get into some trouble. That is undoubtedly when this show is at its best.
--NEAL: "Ring shopping's not really my thing."
--NEAL: "You're clean shaven ... you've retired from retirement."
--NEAL: "At least you have your yard now."
--PETER: "We call it a picnic area."
--The first eight minutes of this episode were unbearable. Nothing happened. So. Damn. Boring.
--I admire each and every one of Neal's shady skills. Pretty bad-ass job of getting into that truck. "Since when do I need keys?"
--OK, this might just be my man-crush on Neal Caffrey showing, but that trick of making Peter pick the blue diamond was so slick and awesome. I want to be a con-man so desperately. But I lack talent, charisma, balls and a whole host of other necessary skills.
--As such, I feel like only Neal should have been capable of pulling that off, but OK.
--Mozzie! I want to personally thank you for finishing the cell phones for The Suit.
--Crap! My video cut off while Neal and Helen were talking. What happened at the end of the conversation? Help me, people!
THE SCORE: 58 out of 100
It wasn't funny. It wasn't original. It wasn't interesting. It wasn't witty. I could probably do this for a while...