After an extended pilot of sorts in Episode 2, the third episode is where Chuck settled in to what viewers could expect to see for the rest of Season 1.
And now, presenting episode 3 of 91:
CHUCK VERSUS THE TANGO
We open with several quick scenes, each in a different country and each involving a painting and someone getting killed over it. Two of them comment on their dislike of the painting.
Chuck is being held at gun point.
Chuck: Please. Please don't shoot. Don't shoot me. Just put the gun down. Gently.
Alas, we learn it's a video game gun and Chuck is horsing around with a customer at the Buy More.
Young Customer: I can't shoot, that's the problem! This stupid thing is busted.
Chuck: Oh, when it comes to Mr. Bartowski, my friend, busted is just a state of mind. (Chuck tries to fix the gun) Little bit of this. Tweak that. And ta-da, locked and loaded. Try that. Nice shot. See?
Harry approaches and interrupts them playing the game.
Harry Tang: Chuck, Big Mike wants to see you.
Chuck: Not now, Harry. Can't you see I'm with a customer? I apologize sir, this is not how we normally do things at Buy More.
This time, Big Mike appears out of nowhere.
Big Mike: Now, Chuck!
Chuck: I was just on my way to see you, that's crazy. Pause it!
Chuck walks into Big Mike's office, looking at the giant marlin on the wall.
Big Mike: Bartowski, what is it you want out of life?
Chuck: You mean, existentially? Like fulfillment, inner peace, that kind of a thing? Or are we talking more practically? Like Lakers tickers, personal steam room?
Big Mike: We're talking Buy More. Career objectives, where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?
Big Mike: Honestly.
Chuck: I have absolutely no idea.
Big Mike: Well it's time you started to think about it. As you know, there is an assistant management position open. It's down to you and Harry Tang. Now, do you want that job or not?
Chuck: I do. I do. I'm sorry, Big Mike, I absolutely want that job.
Big Mike: Well, then, Bartowski, it's your turn to show me something.
Chuck heads into the back room, bringing along the Nerd Herd team.
Chuck: I got some bad news. Big Mike wants us to fix all of this junk in two days, or he's gonna give the assistant store manager position to Tang. I'm sorry guys. And Anna.
Anna: Guys is fine, I don't mind.
Chuck: No, it's not right. We need to come up with something non-gender specific. How do we feel about team?
Anna: Fellow Nerd Herders?
Lester: The Lesters?
Jeff: Chuck's Stable of Ho's?
(Morgan enters the room, his facial expression turns sour when he looks at all the broken computers.)
Morgan: Hey. Oh, man. Heard Big Mike threw down the gauntlet. Just wanna come by and say I'd love to help. But 'A' I lack the skill set and 'B', old computers give me the willies. You have no idea how much courage it's taking me just to stand here.
Chuck: I'm really proud of you buddy.
Morgan: Thanks bro. I bring you news.
Morgan: Your lady is here. And if I'm not overstepping my bounds ... looking good.
Chuck walks back to the floor and notices Sarah standing there. She waves. He awkwardly waves back, practically drooling at the sight of her.
Sarah: Hey. Give me a kiss.
Chuck: I'm sorry, what?
Sarah: We've been on three dates, we have to sell it.(Chuck gives her an awkward peck on the cheek) That's it?
Chuck: I'm not really good with the PDA.
Sarah: Well, let's go somewhere more private. (Sarah grabs Chuck's hand and leads him him to the conference room while Morgan looks on, jealously) Shall we?
Morgan: OK, he is so in. (Casey pushes Morgan aside, going after Chuck and Sarah) This is -- OK, woah, why don't we give the kids a little privacy? (Casey stiff-arms Morgan to the ground and he finally gets up). Not cool.
Casey barges into the home theater room, with Chuck and Sarah inside.
Casey: Sorry to break up your little tryst. Next time you need to talk to the subject, I'd appreciate a heads up.
Sarah: Relax. I wouldn't dream of starting without you, Agent Casey.
Chuck: Mom, Dad, can we get on with it? I have hard drives to fix. (Sarah lays out four photos of dead people) Why are these people sleeping?
Casey: They're not sleeping.
Sarah: They were killed, Chuck. And we wanna know why.
Chuck: I have no idea.
Casey: Well, look again.
Chuck: I would rather not, it's kind of creepy.
(Jeff enters the room.)
Jeff: Oh, sorry, I was gonna take a nap. I'll come back in five. I kind of called dibs on the couch. (The camera focuses on the newspaper Jeff is carrying. Chuck flashes on it as he leaves the room.)
Sarah: Chuck, what did you see?
Chuck: I don't -- I'm not totally sure. Water lily painting, weapons, an art auction tomorrow night. Does the name La Ciudad mean anything to you?
Chuck: Because I think he's gonna be at the art auction tomorrow night. Right then, I'm gonna go fix some hard drives. Good luck with the spy stuff. Excuse me.
Back at the Bartowski residence, Ellie approaches Chuck, looking to give him a big hug.
Ellie: Chuck, I am so proud of you. Morgan told me about the assistant manager job. Congratulations!
Morgan: Team Bartowski moving up in the world, huh? Hahaha.
Chuck: OK, first of all it's not mine yet. And second of all, you can ease up in the enthusiasm. It's only a $2-an-hour raise at an electronics store. And it doesn't even give me my own parking space.
Ellie: Well does your lack of interest mean that you're actually considering leaving the Buy More for a real profession?
Morgan: Real profession? Sorry, I'm going to need clarification on that.
Ellie: He went to Stanford, for God's sakes, Morgan.
Morgan: Right, and he was unceremoniously expelled senior year. Sorry to bring that up, champ, but I think we need to be realistic about our goals here.
Ellie: His goals or your goals?
Morgan: Great question. And I think we need to hammer out a plan for Chuck. Where do we see him in five years? Ten years?
Morgan: Fine, then just you and I.
At Casey's apartment, Sarah and Casey are talking to General Beckman and Director Graham on video conference.
Beckman: We're glad to hear you've settled into Chuck's apartment building. But if he's right, this is a high priority. La Ciudad is the most elusive and dangerous arms dealer in the world.
Graham: Last anyone heard, MI6 in London had a drop on him, but he vanished.
Sarah: Well if he turns up, we'll just take him down at the auction.
Graham: Not so easy. We have no idea what he looks like. No photographs. No one has ever seen La Ciudad that has lived to tell about it.
Casey: So we'll bring the Intersect. Everything we know about La Ciudad was fed into that computer.
Sarah: No way, it is too dangerous. He has no field experience or training.
Casey: He'll be fine. It's an art auction.
Back at Chuck and Ellie's apartment, Morgan and Ellie are sitting across from each other discussing Chuck's future. Meanwhile Chuck is just sitting there reading a magazine and eating a cupcake.
Morgan: Listen, it is way too scary out there. Chuck can't leave the Buy More. We're still finding ourselves.
Ellie: No offense, Morgan, but I think my brother has spent a few years finding himself and he's definitely proven that his place is not at the Buy More.
Morgan: You don't understand, he is a fragile little gelding. You know, still trying to fins his legs. The real world will crush him.
Ellie: Do you know what a gelding is?
Morgan: It's that weird creature from The Dark Crystal. "Smells like gelding". That guy.
Back at Casey's apartment, the argument continues on what to do with Chuck.
Casey: He'll be fine. La Ciudad probably won't even be there.
Sarah: And if he is? Is it worth the risk?
Beckman: Alright, I've heard enough. Put him in the field. We don't know what he's capable of until he's been tested.
Captain Awesome joins in on the conversation, sitting next to Chuck.
Awesome: What he needs is something to challenge him. Test his limitations. A brush with his own mortality. You know what I'm thinking?
Ellie: I have no idea what you're thinking.
Morgan: As far as I'm concerned, dude, is you're way off the reservation.
Awesome: Class 5 white-water rapids. Just the two of us this weekend, near-death experience, awesome.
Chuck: That sounds great, but my wet suit's at the dry cleaners.
Ellie: That is a terrible idea. That's way too dangerous.
Morgan: I agree and I am not comfortable with you guys spending that amount of time together.
Ellie: Well Chuck hasn't said a word, what do you want to do?
Chuck: I'm just gonna hit the sack. Good night Team Bartowski.
Morgan: That's great work, guys. You see what you're doing here? It's awesome.
(Casey sneaks up outside to Chuck's window.)
Casey: Congratulations, Chuck, you just got your first mission. Tomorrow night. Hope you're ready for the real world.
After 'Chuck' opening sequence, Chuck and Casey are walking and talking at the Buy More.
Chuck: So, dress attire for this evening? Sneakers, or are we classifying this more as a shoe event?
Casey: We rented you a tux.
Chuck: Oh, that's very nice. How did you know my size?
Casey: NSA. We have records of your rental information from prom night. (Chuck looks on, feeling violated) I checked the suit in your closet.
Chuck: OK this is my first foray into major undercover spywork, so you could ease up on the sarcasm that would be great. And how am I supposed to recognize La Ciudad? Is there a picture?
Casey: If there's a photograph, why would we need you?
Chuck: What did we just talk about?
Casey: I'm sorry. We're hoping something at the event triggers a flash.
Chuck: See, that's all you had to say. Now, hand-to-hand combat -- in all seriousness if it comes down to me and La Ciudad in some fisticuffs or something, is there a 20-minute tutorial that you can take me through?
Casey: Don't worry. You're gonna be fine, nothing is gonna happen to you. Assuming you know how to tango.
Casey: Oh, I don't joke about your life. (Big Mike looks at Chuck, pointing to his watch as Morgan intercedes)
Morgan: Chuck, your girlfriend's here. Oh, one minute, I got computers to fix.
Anna: Don't worry about it, we got it. There's only a few left.
Chuck: Are you sure?
Lester: It's done. Next time I have a big date, you are gonna cover for me.
Chuck: OK, great, thanks team. I'll see you tomorrow.
Morgan: Thanks team. Where are you love birds headed?
Chuck: Oh, we're actually going to an art auction at the Wilshire Grand.
Morgan: Oh, swanky. Yeah, I like it man. Aren't we moving a little too fast?
Chuck: No. (as Chuck leaves the buy more with Sarah in-tow)
Morgan: Career. Girl. Guy's got it all.
Chuck and Sarah are sitting down outside the Wienerlicious.
Sarah: The idea of a cover is to keep it as simple as possible, without revealing true personal detail. Any thoughts on a name?
Chuck: Charles Carmichael? Simple, dignified.
Sarah: Easy to remember and not far off --
Chuck: Graduated with honors from Stanford, runs a hugely successful software company, semi-retired and is considering entering America's Cup.
Sarah: Done this before?
Chuck: Let's just say Mr. Carmichael and I share a small kinship.
Sarah: How's that?
Chuck: When I first entered Stanford, it's kind of where I envisioned myself being by now. Except for the sailing part, I don't really know where that came from. But he's where most of my class already is.
Sarah: So, what happened?
Chuck: My life took a little detour senior year when our old friend Bryce Larkin discovered stolen tests under my bed and was kind enough to alert administration.
Sarah: Did you steal the tests?
Chuck: I thought it was kind of implied that I'm a decent person.
Sarah: Well, we all make mistakes.
Chuck: And I've made plenty, that just wasn't one of them. But hey, then Bryce sent me a whole database of government secrets that are now locked up in my brain, keeping me in a constant state of fear, danger and anxiety. So, I'd say we're even.
Sarah: Don't worry about tonight. No reason to be nervous, I'm not gonna leave your side. (Sarah puts her hand on Chuck's)
Chuck: Me, nervous? Come on, never.
Sarah: Your hand is a little moist.
Chuck: It does that when I'm freaking out. (Sarah smiles)
Chuck approaches his sister.
Chuck: Hey, sis? Hey, sis, um, do you know how to tango?
Ellie: No, why?
Chuck: Uh, no reason. I just have a date tonight and I thought it might come up.
Ellie: You're tangoing on a date? Well that's definitely new territory. Good to see you reaching out of your comfort zone.
Chuck: Well considering my comfort zone extends to the end of that couch, new territory was bound to come up.
Awesome: Did somebody say tango?
Chuck: No, thank you, Captain Awesome. I'll look it up online. (Chuck looks over at Devon, who is wearing nothing but a towel) Would you please put on a robe or something?
Awesome: Did a semester abroad in Buenos Aires. Spent many a night tangoing my way into senoritas pantalones.
Awesome puts on tango music on his iPod, starts walking towards Chuck. He grabs Chuck's hands, pulls him close and begins to tango. A montage begins, showing Chuck, Sarah and Casey getting dressed/ready for the auction. We also see scenes of Chuck learning the tango with Awesome interspersed in the montage.
In the back room, the nerd herders are working on fixing the computers.
Jeff: And go!
Anna: There's no way he's gonna break the two-minute record.
Lester: Oh, there. It's OK sweetheart. Lester is right here.
(Harry comes in, along with three of his minions)
Harry: Sorry to interrupt, but we found just a few more down by the loading dock. Where's Bartowski?
Morgan: On a date with the smoking-hot wiener girl. No biggie.
Harry: And he left you all here? good leadership. Real good. Well, shouldn't be too difficult to get these done by morning. I'll leave the coffee pot on.
Lester: Done! What are those? Morgan, what are those?
Chuck, Sarah and Casey arrive at the art auction in a limo, with Sarah and Chuck in the backseat and Casey driving.
Sarah: Here, this is for you. Inside the watch is a GPS tracking system. That way you can't run away from me. And if you flash on anyone, tell me immediately then stay out of the way.
Chuck: Absolutely. Yeah, I always run from a fight.
Casey: This isn't a joke, Chuck. No one who's ever seen La Ciudad alive has lived to tell about it.
Chuck: Is he being serious? Seriously? What are my chances of getting into trouble?
Casey: Toughen up, you'll be fine. Assuming you know how to tango.
Chuck: I did some preparation, OK? I wouldn't call myself an expert, but I --
Sarah: Why would he need to know how to tango? Is that code?
Chuck: No, not -- No, he told me that I needed to know how to tango. (Sarah smiles at Chuck while Casey giggles at himself.) Spy humor, I like that.
Sarah: C'mon, you ready?
Morgan tries to stop Lester, Anna and Jeff from leaving the Buy More.
Morgan: Okay, wait, wait, where's everybody going? We got computers to fix.
Lester: Sorry bro, I got my bar mitzvah lesson.
Anna: Internet poker.
Jeff: I'm off by 8 and hammered by 8:05.
Morgan: What about Chuck Bartowski? OK, what about our fearless leader? We owe him.
Lester: For what?
Morgan: Because Chuck Bartowski's boldly going where none of us have ever gone before. To have intercourse with a beautiful woman.
Anna: Speak for yourself.
Lester: Interesting. Yeah, we could chit-chat about that.
Anna: I'm out of here.
Jeff: I gotta go.
Lester: Anna, could I? Anna?
Morgan: OK, OK, fine. See you guys. Big Mike will just give the position to Harry Tang. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. Good, because you know what that means? No more two-hour lunch breaks. No more XBox tournaments. No more porn. Yeah, yeah. Total work hell!
Jeff: I'm in. But your boy better close the deal.
Lester: Let's do this.
Morgan: OK, thanks a lot, Les.
Lester: Don't touch me, don't touch me.
Morgan: I'm gonna talk about this girl thing. Hey, Jeff, attaboy.(Morgan slaps Jeff in the butt)
With Sarah under his arm, Chuch walks into the auction and grabs some food from the waiter.
Chuck: Oh, nice, thank you.
(Chuck gets sauce on his shirt)
Sarah: Oh, nice.
Chuck: I've been a spy for all of five seconds, and I already have soy sauce on my shirt.
Sarah: Well, go and wash it off. And Chuck, stop saying that you're a spy.
Chuck: Right, of course. (Chuck walks away as Sarah watches)
Chuck talks to himself while looking in the mirror in the bathroom.
(Chuck sees a man next to him at the sink and flashes)
La Ciudad: Do we know each other?
Chuck: No. Not that I know of. Sorry. (Chuck scurries out of the bathroom, looking back)
Chuck runs up to Sarah, nervously pointing out what he just saw.
Chuck: It's him.
Chuck: La Ciudad.
Sarah: Come here
Chuck: All right, we've already identified the perp, as it were. What are we still doing here? I mean, you know, mission accomplished, time to go.
Sarah: Chuck, go wait at the bar.
Chuck: Go wait at the bar? OK. You go do what you do, I'm gonna be at the bar, waiting. Covering that whole area. (Chuck walks towards the bar)
Chuck sits down at the bar, where Casey is bartending.
Casey: Drink, sir?
Chuck: Yeah, I'd like a martini, barkeep. Shaken and stirred. Thank you.
Casey: Would you like a cherry with that?
(Someone approaches Chuck)
Stranger: Chuck Bartowski?
Chuck: No, name's Carmichael.
Stranger: Alan Waterman! Stanford.
Chuck: Hey, hey, how are you? Hey, you, hey.
Alan: I'm great. I don't know if you heard, I sold out of my software company. Kind of unemployed. Problem is, I;m too young to retire. I'm too rich to work.
Chuck: Ah, haha, That quite a pickle you've found yourself in, Waterman.
Alan: What are you doing now? Last I heard, you were fixing computers or something.
Chuck: Yeah, you know, just kind of weighing my options right now. You know, I may be getting a managerial position at an electronics conglomerate, so you know.
Alan: Well, I always knew you'd make something of yourself. Who you here with?
Chuck: Oh, may date, she's right over there.
Alan: Whoa. She's with you? (They look over as Sarah is touchy-feely with La Ciudad) ... Ouch.
Chuck: We have a very open relationship.
Alan: Well, hey, give me a call. You know, if you need help with the whole job thing. I know people.
Chuck: I bet you do
Alan: Yeah. (He hands over his business card) Here you go.
Chuck: (Flashes on the card) Insider trading and offshore accounts in the Caymans.
Alan: What did you just say? Do you work for the SEC? I gotta go.
The Nerd Herd gang is lounging around, eating pizza, drinking beers and talking.
Lester: Something fishy is going on. I know you think Chuck's a great guy and all that, but that wiener girl is super hot. Even for me.
Jeff: It's obvious, dude, she's a pro.
Anna: Are you kidding? You think Chuck could afford her if she was a pro?
Morgan: All right, enough crapping about her. Break time's over. C'mon, let's go.
Jeff: all right, who's up for a game of Deer Hunter?
Morgan: No, no, no. Guys, guys, work now. Play later, OK? We got hard drives to fix. Look at this place, come on, look at it. Let's go. (Morgan moves brick holding up storing cage door, door closes)
Lester: Nooo! Oh, no.
Morgan: Oh, no, Oh, no, what?
Jeff: The lock is broken, man. You need a key to open it.
Morgan: Then get the key, Jeff.
Jeff: There's only two keys.
Anna: Harry Tang has one.
Lester: And old Chuck has the other one. Yikes.
Morgan: Where you going? Anna, don't go.
Morgan: No. No, no, no come on. Old computers freak me out. Somebody give me a hand and help me. Chuuuuuck, get me out of here, please !!
Back at the auction.
Chuck: Hit me again. (Casey sees La Ciudad hold gun to Sarah's back, jumps over bar to help)
Casey: You stay.
Chuck: Stay? Stay, like a dog. (Casey runs after Sarah while Chuck gets up and looks over at the painting and flashes)
(A woman approaches Chuck and the painting.)
Woman: Beautiful painting.
Chuck: What's that? Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. Painting, yeah. It definitely has a quality about it. Very, I would say, Bob Rossian in its influence.
Chuck: Bob Ross. Bob, you know Bob Ross. The guy who used to paint on PBS with the afro and the soothing -- you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Chuck: It won't be the first time.
Woman: I'm Malena.
Chuck: Hi, Chuck. Charles. Charles Carmichael.
Malena: So, you don't like the painting?
Chuck: No, I -- it seems very lovely. I'm just more interested in the frame, but that, you don't -- (Chuck is interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He ignores the call.). So sorry. So sorry about this. Work, never leaves you alone. I'm in the software game, so.
Malena: So you were saying about the frame?
Chuck: Nothing. It doesn't really actually matter. Sorry.
(A waiter comes by with drinks)
Chuck: Sure, yeah. Cheers.
Casey peeks in on Sarah, who is surrounded by several bad guys and La Ciudad holding a gun on her.
La Ciudad: What's your real name, and who do you work for?
Chuck is talking with the woman.
Malena: Mm. I love a Tango.
Chuck: Oh, yeah, Ha, ha. Who doesn't?
Malena: Do you?
Chuck: Do I wanna ...? Uh. Um. You know what? What the hell. Yeah, let's give it a shot.
The scene goes back and forth between Chuck's tango with Malena, and Sarah's confrontation with La Ciudad, as Casey looks on waiting to make his move.
La Ciudad: What are you doing here? Please don't lie, it will make this much more painful.
Back with Chuck/Malena, Chuck puts his hand on Malena's shoulder.
Malena: Mr. Carmichael.
Chuck: Please, Chuck.
Malena: Chuck, I think your hand is supposed to be on my hip.
Chuck: Right. Apparently, I learned the girl's part of this dance. Would you mind leading?
Malena: Not at all
Back to Sarah, as Casey sneaks in. Casey distracts them, as Sarah knocks one down and Casey draws his gun.
Casey: Federal agents. Don't move. Don't you move.
Back to the tango, as Malena begins to lead the tango.
Back to the struggle, as Sarah is laying down on the ground with her gun pointed at La Ciudad.
La Ciudad: International agents, MI6.
Sarah: Drop your gun!
La Ciudad: we're British Secret Service.
Sarah: Lower your weapon!
Back to tango for a quick moment.
MI6 agent: Everyone take a deep breath, I'm putting down my gun, and I'm getting my identification.
MI6 agent shows ID, Sarah looks at it.
Back to tango, where Chuck and Malena come close to kissing and continue their tango.
Back to the struggle, Sarah tosses back his ID.
Sarah: What are you doing here?
MI6 Agent: I could ask you the same thing. We've been pursuing an arms dealer through five countries.
Casey: Let me guess, La Ciudad?
MI6 Agent: That's right.
Back to tango, Malena is getting really handsy.
MI6 Agent: MI6 intercepted a painting with plutonium hidden in the frame. Rather than announce the bust, we removed the plutonium and kept the auction in the hope of luring Ciudad.
Sarah: If you're not La Ciudad, then where is he?
Back to the tango, Malena dips Chuck to finish the tango.
Chuck: (He laughs in enjoymment that he completed the tango. He looks at her neck and flashes on her scar.) Ah. help.
Jeff and Anna are playing video games, while Morgan is frantically talkiing on the phone while locked in the storage cage.
Morgan: Oh OK, OK, listen to me, listen to me. My friend is at some sort of art function at your hotel, OK? Now listen to me clearly. I need to speak to him. It's a matter of life and death.
Lady: Describe your friend.
Morgan: He's good-looking, depends on your angle I suppose. He's not classically handsome, I wouldn't say he is. But you know, he makes up for it with charm. Lots and lots of charm. And he's kind of a lost soul. He does this funny thing when he's nervous. He laughs, he goes, "ah, ha, ha." Anyways, what? What? Brown hair, 6'1". Does that help at all?
Chuck is walking and talking with Malena and is interrupted by the woman Morgan was talking on the phone with.
Chuck: What kind of work are you in, Malena?
Malena: Why are you so interested, Mr. Carmichael?
Chuck: No reason, just making conversation.
Woman: Excuse me, sir. Are you Chuck Bartowski?
Chuck: Who, me. No. No, I'm Carmichael.
Morgan: That's him, that's my friend, I can hear his voice.
Woman: Are you sure you're not Mr. Bartowski? Your friend insists.
Chuck: No, no I insist. I've never heard that name in my life. I gotta go, excuse me. (Chuck is stopped by Malena's muscle)
Malena: Why don't we head up to my room now, Mr. Carmichael. And find out who you really are. (We see a shot of Sarah and Casey running back to the ballroom)
The nerd herders decide to leave Morgan alone for the night.
Lester: So I guess we should re-group in the morning?
Jeff: Good idea.
Morgan: No, wait, wait, wait. Where are you guys going?
Lester: Dude, it's just this is out of my pay grade.
Jeff: I gotta get some serious alcohol in me or I am never gonna sleep.
Anna: I'm sorry Morgan, be strong!
Morgan: No, don't leave me in here with these computers. You could hand me a slick, some water, I need to survive through the night and I -- (lights shut off). Not cool.
Casey and Sarah wonder around looking for Chuck. Chuck, meanwhile is tied up in a chair and being held captive by Malena.
Malena: Let's start with an easy one. What's your real name?
Chuck: Carmichael! Charles Carmichael. (Malena tosses knife into the chair, below Chuck's crotch) Chuck Bartowski!
Malena: That wasn't so hard. Now, before you answer my next question, I want you to think long and hard about my options here. (She holds the knife to Chuck's face) There's the old favorite, yank out a tooth. Too noisy. Cut off a toe, that's too messy.
Chuck: Far too messy.
Malena: Or we can chuck you off the balcony, Chuck. Probably land face first. Teeth go through the back of your head. Tsk, Tsk. Not a good way to go. So, here's my question: who do you work for?
Chuck: No one. (the goons pick up his chair and head towards the balcony) No, no, stop, stop. I fix computers for a living, I swear to God. I snuck into the party under a fake name to impress a girl. Please, please down, Put chair down!
Malena: Goodbye, Chuck.
Chuck: No, no, no, it's a setup.
Malena: What is?
Chuck: The painting, the painting. The painting, I think the painting might me a fake or something.
Chuck: If you put me down, I'll tell you. (the goons put him down and Chuck lets out a sigh of relief) I saw a photo of the painting in the LA Times, OK? But it had a different frame. So, I'm assuming somebody maybe swapped it out. I don't know, but if I were you,, I would not buy that painting.
Malena: A fake painting. And you had no intention of bidding on it?
Chuck: Me bid? No, not unless they were selling it for 25 bucks. I mean, that's about what I have in my decorating budget.
Malena: OK. (pointing a gun at Chuck) Tell me how to fix a computer, Chuck.
(Sarah and Casey approach door, following the GPS tracker in his watch)
Chuck: My first inclination's that your bus speed isn't up to snuff with your video card. I'm assuming we're talking about a PC here, right? Is your memory dedicated?
Malena: That's enough Mr. Bartowski, I believe you. Problem is, since you've seen me, now I have to kill you.
Chuck: Have to? No, no, no, I disagree. I disagree vehemently, vehemently. No, no, no I won't say anything, I swear. I swear to god. You don't know the things I know about people.
Malena: Don't worry, it will be fast. Goodbye, Mr. Bartowski. I enjoyed our tango.
Sarah and Casey approach the door, pretending to be lovebirds, and kick the guard's ass. Both sides start shooting. We see Alan in his hotel room as Malena breaks in his balcony window.
Alan: They're on to us! The SEC knows everything. Shelly, they know about the Caymans. I surrender, I surrender.
Back to the shootout, shots are flying everywhere.
Sarah: Chuck, get down.
Chuck: Aah! (Chuck wiggles back and forth in chair to fall down) Uh, Sarah, help.
Casey: Let's do this. Okay.
Chuck and Casey break into the room. More shooting, body falls out of window as Alan sees it.
Alan: Oh my god.
Sarah: Hey, Chuck, are you OK?
Chuck: OK? OK, two more seconds and I'd be dead. They were gonna through me off the balcony.
Casey: You tell them you work for us?
Chuck: Of course not. Where the hell were you guys?
Casey: You're still alive. I'd consider myself lucky.
Malena runs out the building.
Goon: We have to get you out of the country.
Malena: But first, we take him out! (Malena shows good Chuck's Buy More employee card)
Chuck comes home, finds Ellie sleeping on couch and goes to tuck her in.
Ellie: Hey. How was the big date?
Chuck: It was good, great, fine. I'm gonna go to bed. I love you.
Ellie: What? No no, no. Is that all I get. C'mon, sit down. I wanna know, you know, do you like this girl?
Chuck: It's -- you know, it's complicated.
Ellie: well, explain it to me slowly. I'll catch up.
Chuck: She's a very beautiful girl.
Ellie: Good, go on.
Chuck: And she;s very agile.
Ellie: I'm not sure how that applies, but continue.
Chuck: And I think she's too exhausting for me.
Ellie: Well what happened? Did you guys tango?
Chuck: Oh, yeah, yeah, we tangoed, In fact, we tangoed quite a bit. But Awesome taught me the woman's part of the tango. So it was a little difficult as one might expect.
(Awesome enters the room)
Awesome: What's up bro? Did you do the famous dip?
Chuck: Yeah, I was on the receiving end of that dip.
Awesome: You did tango with a woman, right?
Chuck: And on that note...
Ellie: No, no, no, you're not getting off that easy. Why won't you talk to me.
Chuck: It's. It's, look, it's complicated, OK? Just let it go.
Ellie: Fine. You don't wanna talk to me, I suggest you find someone to talk to. Like maybe your idiot friend, he's called about 75 times. He locked himself in a storage cage, whatever that means.
Morgan is laying in the cage, as the scene is imitating a scene from The Shawshank Redemption, with jazz music in the background. Morgan is asleep when Chuck comes in and holds a piece of pizza in his face to wake him up.
Morgan: Oh, God. It's you. Dude, you have no idea the night I had. (Morgan gives him a huge hug)
Chuck: OK, OK, OK, settle down. Settle down, settle down, it's all good, it's all good. What happened?
Morgan: What happened? Tang showed up, and he dropped all these off. I guess he was stashing them, you know, so, alright, let's do this.
Chuck: Morgan, what are you talk -- you don't know how to fix a computer.
Morgan: Moral support, man, ever leave your wingman, OK? Something your team would learn about.
Chuck: Look, it's OK man. Go get some sleep, OK?
Morgan: You sure? Because you say the word and we go down together.
Chuck: No, I appreciate that. But I think it will be nice to do something I;m actually good at. So, I'll see you.
Morgan: Fantastic. See you later, goodnight brother,
Chuck: Good night.
Big Mike walks in on Chuck finishing up fixing the computers.
Big Mike: You finished, Bartowski?
Chuck: Mission accomplished.
Big Mike: Whoa. Two days is an incentive, I didn't think you'd really do it. I'm impressed. And I'm not as man easily impressed.
Chuck: Well, I think you should know that I only fixed the last few. Uh, my team did most of the work, they deserve most of the credit -- and you're only as good as your team, so.
Big Mike: First rule of management: always take credit. (Big Mike sips his coffee and eats his danish) Hope we can sell all this crap.
Harry enters, carrying several empty beer cans
Harry: Sir, there's been a major infraction. Drinking alcoholic beverages on the property.
Big Mike: Nothing wrong with a man wetting his whistle every once in a while. Keep it out of the store, Bartowski.
Chuck: Yeah, yeah absolutely sir.
Big Mike: You get extra points for style. Looking sharp.
Harry: (grunts) You look like a waiter (tosses the cans on the ground in disgust). Kiss-ass.
Morgan talks to the Buy More group, Chuck talking to Casey.
Morgan: Was I scared? Yeah, yeah, I was scared. But then the survival instinct kicked in. Something I didn't even know I possessed. A desire to live. Good news is, I may be able to retire off this. I talked to Big Mike, he's be hearing from my attorney's. That cage is a major fire hazard.
Casey walks in.
Casey: Chuck, good work last night.
Chuck: OK, you know what? I'm working on an all-nighter here, big guy. And I realize that you are probably armed. And so I'm gonna ask you very nicely, would you please ease up on the sarcasm.
Casey: I wasn't being facetious. You helped us find La Ciudad.
Chuck: But she got away.
Casey: We got a photo from hotel security, we had a blood sample from a broken window. Our intel tells us she's heading to Central America. We have people waiting there. (pause) You're looking sharp.
Chuck: Oh, thanks!
Casey: That was facetious, idiot.
Chuck is at the customers service desk, helping a customer.
Chuck: I fixed this one personally, so it should be good as new. And sorry about the delay
The goons walk into the Buy More. Chuck ducks, Casey notices them come in and Harry comes by to antagonize Chuck.
Harry: Chuck, hiding from work again?
Chuck: I think I dropped something. Go away, Harry!
Harry: Oh, you wish I would. I'm not going anywhere Chuck. When you go to sleep at night, all you're gonna see is Tang in your face.
Goon: Excuse, please. Where Can I find a Chuck Bartowski?
Harry: Uh, why? What's he done?
Goon: Because I need to speak to him.
Harry: Okay, well, if he's in any kind of trouble, let me know. Chuck, you have a visitor. Chuck? Well, uh, maybe I can help you, sir, I ....
Sarah notices La Ciudad/Malena climb the roof and alerts Casey about the situation. Casey tangles with the goons, while Chuck tries to evade capture.
Chuck: (on loudspeaker) Chuck Bartowski to the storage cage. Chuck Bartowski, please report to the storage cage.
Goon 2: (to Casey) Where's the storage cage?
Casey: Oh, just through here, sir. I'll show you.
Sarah heads to the roof; Chuck peeks at where the bad guys are and Morgan tells them where he is.
Casey: By the way, we're having a big sale on refrigerators, in case you didn't notice.
Goon 2: (pulling gun) Where is he? Where is Chuck Bartowski?
Casey: Oh, sir, I'm just a salesclerk.
Goon 2: Take me to him now.
Casey fights dude, slams him into merchandise, traps him into freezer. Sarah fights Malena. Chuck crawls towards cage, One of the goons goes into cage and Chuck pounces.
Chuck: OK. Ha, ha. Oh, you. Ha-ha-ha. You got -- big old guy in the thing...
Goon opens cage, points gun towards chuck.
Chuck: That was so broken this morning
Casey chucks toaster at the bad guy's face.
Casey: Now that's what I call moving some merchandise, yeah? (Casey drags body out of the room)
Back to the Sarah/Malena fight. They each get a few shots in, but Sarah takes out her brass knuckles and knocks her out.
Sarah: Hang here.
Chuck is safe at the Buy More, while Morgan tries to talk to him.
Morgan: Uh, Charles Irving Bartowski of the Encino Bartowski's, could you please report to the returns desk? Charles Irving Bartowski, re--
Morgan: Nothing. I'm just loving this thing, man. You know what? we should get one for your apartment. Oh, good news, they fixed the lock on the storage cage, so... (chuck steals microphone) What?
Chuck talks with Ellie in the kitchen.
Chuck: I'm sorry, sis, I know I've been kind of evasive, but I didn't want to lie and I chose not saying anything as being the lesser of two evils.
Ellie: Why would you have to lie to me?
Chuck: Ellie, I need you to trust me and know it has nothing to do with you.
Ellie: But you want me to butt out, I get it. It's none of my business.
Chuck: No, no, no. I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that. I just don't wanna create a false sense of excitement for a relationship that seems doomed.
Ellie: Well why is it doomed?
Chuck: Because she's not into me.
Ellie: Oh, trust me, I have seen the way that girl looks at you and she is into you.
Ellie: It's none of my business.
Chuck: OK, no. OK, fine, what the hell? What do you want to ask me about Sarah
Chuck: You better hurry up, this offer will not last.
Ellie: OK. Do you like her?
Ellie: Oh (getting all mushy).
Chuck: Hap! No, no unnecessary excitements.
Ellie: Ahem. Sorry. Sorry.
Chuck: What else?
Ellie: That's it.
Chuck: That's it?
Ellie: Yeah, Chuck, that's it. I don't need to know the intimate details, OK? As long as you're happy, that's enough for me. And I don't, I don't wanna nag you about your future and your job and I don't wanna be the sister that pesters you into oblivion.
Chuck: No, no, no, you're not a pest.
Ellie: I just know what an incredible guy Charles Bartowski is. And sometimes, I'm not so sure that he knows it.
Chuck: How do you feel about a brother-sister hug situation right now?
Ellie: I'm open to it.
Chuck: OK (they hug as doorbell rings -- both Sarah and Morgan are there)
Morgan: Sorry, I thought we had plans tonight, you know. What is she doing here?
Chuck: What gave you that impression?
Morgan: Oh, when you were leaving earlier and you were like, "see you later, dude." Took you at your word. It's cool, if you didn't want me to be here, that's fine, just stop giving me mixed signals.
Chuck: (laughs) Come on in.
Morgan: Super, awesome. What are we having? (he leaves)
Sarah: Here you go (handing him champagne)
Chuck: Oh, thank you. Thank you. (peck on the cheek) Ouch (pointing to her lip) You OK?
Sarah: Uh, occupational hazard. She got in a lucky kick.
Morgan: (shouting from afar) The wine's from both of us.
Chuck walks with Sarah outside the apartment.
Sarah: Congratulations on your first mission. You did really good, Chuck.
Chuck: Stop it. I'm not really a spy. Your computer ended up in the head of a guy who only really knows how to fix them, nothing else.
Sarah: You survived a near-death experience under the threat of torture. And apprehended one of the world's most elusive killers. I'm not sure what you think spies do exactly, but most of us consider that a pretty good day.
Chuck: OK, sure. So today, I helped take down a major international arms dealer. But tomorrow, I still gotta go clock in at Buy More. I mean, what's the good of being a hero if nobody knows about it?
Sarah: You know. And so do I.
Chuck: You know, if we were really dating this would be the part where I'd be forced to kiss you good night.
Sarah: Forced? Would it be so bad?
Chuck: I'm sure I could suffer through it.
Sarah: Me too. (They both pause, then Sarah walks away. Morgan creeps up as they look at Casey looking out his window)
Morgan: Man, that dude is creepy.
END OF EPISODE
This was a fun episode that broke apart from the first two, which really just set up the characters and the plot. Chuck Versus the Tango showed what the show would be like moving forward week-to-week, with Chuck playing the role of awkward and unconventional hero as he tries to figure his life out -- while also trying to figure out if Sarah really does like him or not.
What do you guys think of Chuck Episode 1.3? Where do you rank it in Season 1?