Review - SUITS 2.16: 'War'

People don't like change. They grow comfortable with the routine, become complacent and fear the unknown. I'm no different than these people I speak of.

Except for when it comes to TV. Because the status-quo sucks. It's cliche, it's boring and it's lazy. There would be nothing wrong if the season finale kept things the way they were -- 'Suits' would still be great for Season 3, but now it will be more exciting as changes are coming for next year.

If you like those changes, then great, and if for whatever reason you don't, there will still be aspects of the show you love and debating/complaining about the things you don't is half the fun of TV in the first place.

Heading into the Season 2 finale, I'm sure you expected some change anyway. Anyone could see the Mike-Rachel stuff from 10 miles away and the merger doesn't really change anything, it just adds some new faces to the firm. And I don't see how that could possibly be a bad thing. It gives the show some more versatility.

And whether you are a Rachel-Mike 'shipper or not (I am not personally: one of the very few times in my life I haven't been sucked into being a 'shipper), at the very least you can now look forward to some more racy sex scenes. YIKES. That was for mature audiences, only.

Two complaints with the Rachel-Mike storyline, other than it being incredibly transparent and obvious: (1) 
Why do big fights often result in sex for everyone but me? (2) I'm not sure I totally bought Rachel figuring out that something was off with Mike, it seemed like she jumped to that conclusion from seemingly nowhere. She was quibbling/focusing over minor things (like Mike being "cagey"), when other bigger issues were being overlooked. It seemed contrived and didn't feel natural, just a cheap way for her to find out his secret -- I mean, I know she's friends with Mike and all, but she should have gone to someone with more clout with this problem in the first place. She could've turned to her father or any senior partner at the firm -- they all went to Harvard, after all. I don't think I'm far off-base here, but the way things played out irked me a bit, but overall it's not a big deal.

A change I really did like was a possibly new and improved Jessica Pearson for next season. I've complained numerous times about how her character can be powerless when she shouldn't be, letting Harvey and Mike push her around and dictate everything that goes on in the firm. It's about time she exert her dominance over both of them. (Although her behavior in this episode was a bit peculiar. She was FURIOUS when Edward Darby visited with other firms as a contingency plan, so she guaranteed victory in the case over him: which would have guaranteed the end of that very same merger that she was desperate to make in the first place. Then, she sabotaged that very same victory she guaranteed. Strange.)

I'll always have complaints (I'm a little bitch), but I don't really see how any of the things that have changed heading into a new season can be construed as a bad thing for the show moving forward.

Other observations: 

(1) Rachel applying for Harvard was all a set-up for her finding out about Mike never actually attending law school there. We all knew she wasn't going to get in (because that would mean she would essentially have to leave the show), so this was all a precursor to her learning about Mike. I should have seen that as the reason this story was introduced in the first place.

(2) Harvey is so great, but I've never really cared much about his personal life for whatever reason. Maybe because it takes away from him being such a fun lawyer to watch. I've enjoyed his scenes with Scotty every time she's been on and they have a fun dynamic with/against each other, but DAMN, why was he so damn hostile towards her? Jeez.


(3) Two excellent scenes of dialogue in this episode: Donna/Harvey talking about Scotty and Jessica/Harvey going toe-to-toe.

(4) If you thought it was a bit far-fetched that Jessica would keep Mike around even after learning his secret, now you know why she did. She played that card she had on him at the perfect time. Well played, Jessica. I like when she plays hardball and exerts her strengths, proving why her name is on the door. Unfortunately those moments are not frequent enough. 

QUOTES OF NOTE:

--JESSICA: "I wouldn't need a roofie."

--RACHEL: "Harvey, you look nice."
--HARVEY: "Thank you, so do I."

--LOUIS: "What the hell are you looking at, asshole?"

--HARVEY: "I'd rather cross my own line than sign on their dotted one."

--JESSICA: 'And you'll be a winner, but not a leader -- and you won't have me."

--DONNA: "I'm so friggin tired of people asking me that and it's none of your business. ... But no."

--JESSICA: "That was about knowledge and the stakes were nothing. This is about power and the stakes are everything."

--JESSICA: "You're gonna stay here, be humble, and learn your god damn place."

--MIKE: "You don't understand what I have been through. You don't understand what I have lost, because it's everything -- everyone that I love: Trevor, my grandmother, Harvey, now probably this job. I am not ready to lose you. Not today."

--MIKE: "I never went to Harvard. I'm a fraud."

RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--Louis' face when Nigel kisses Donna's hand was great.

--NIGEL: "I was caressing her lovely hand with my lovely lips." My nominee for the most creepy/disgusting quote in this show's history. Who would've thought it wasn't Louis'?

--Getting rejected on an attempted fist bump? The worst.

--I call BS on Louis' bullying story. That wouldn't have stopped them from tormenting him. It would only have made things worse.

--Just when you thought Louis was beginning to make some strides towards being a better human being, he very predictably screwed over Nigel.

--We may have seen the last of Amanda Schull on 'Suits'. As my Twitter friend (@MariL520) pointed out to me, she's been cast on an upcoming pilot on USA Network.

--TV Couples I was unreasonably invested in (in order of caring): Chuck-Sarah (Chuck), Julie-Matt (Friday Night Lights), Zack-Kelly (Saved by the Bell), Shawn-Juliet (Psych), Castle-Beckett (Castle), Veronica-Logan (Veronica Mars), Neal-Alex (White Collar), Alex-Dave (Happy Endings)

--Couples I've resisted 'shipping for: Jess-Nick (New Girl), Jeff-Anybody (Community), Breanna-Arnaz (One on One)

--Couples that I used to root for, but now dislike: Leonard-Penny (Big Bang Theory), Ted-Anyone (How I Met Your Mother), Jim-Callie (The Glades)

--The Worst Couples in TV history: Brody-Carrie (Homeland), Hannah-Adam (Girls), Troy-Britta (Community)

THE GRADE: B+

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REVIEW: How I Met Your Mother 7.22-7.23 (2-part finale)

NOTE: For the purposes of this review, I'm treating 7.22 and 7.23 (The Magician's Code Part I & II) as one hour-long episode. It makes my life easier. I'm selfish like that.

Why can't I quit you, 'How I Met Your Mother'?

I've watched every episode of every season, so at this point I've invested far too much time to not invest far too much time moving forward. Ugh. Funny how that works.

I won't go as far to say that I want the last hour of my life back, but I will say that I'll sleep just fine without HIMYM on TV for the next several months.

The first 30 minutes of the hour-long finale that I watched would have been better spent on THIS, but what are you gonna do?  I'm fine with nothing really happening in that episode other than the birth of Marshall and Lily's baby, but more laughs would have been nice. Of the handful of "stories" that Ted and Robin told Lily, most of them were just a waste of time and plain-old dumb. (Marshall trying to get up the steps and the Marshall cursed pants story were pretty bad. I wish they went further with the "Barney trying to pick up chicks as the Terminator story.")

One of the best moments of the finale was when Robin called out Ted for claiming he wants to start a family but only pursuing women where that really isn't an option. This show works much better when they are friends so we can have scenes like that. I kinda just wish that scene didn't lead to Ted and Victoria in what seems to be a sure-fire disaster. We know she's not the mother*, of course, but hopefully they don't botch that storyline in Season 8 as they seem to do with everything involving Ted Mosby these days.

*(I just had an idea. CBS should have a reality show in determining who should play the role of Ted's future wife. We could have unknown hot chicks from all over the world compete for the hearts of HIMYM fans. Who doesn't love reality TV these days? And plus, this way we get to find out who the mother is before we all die. It's a win-win!)

As far as Barney and Quinn is concerned, that whole scene at the airport was ridiculously over the top, even for this show. I'm all for some craziness and fun, but not when it was so clear from the start this was his elaborate and insane way of proposing to Quinn. Time was running out in the finale and we knew a proposal to Quinn was forthcoming...

...Just like most of us probably realized that it wasn't going to be Quinn at the wedding. I mean, why not squander another season wrapped around Ted's longing/angst/jealousy involving Robin?? We all want more of that, right? Plus, Becki Newton isn't a series regular and her new show was picked up, so who knows much much she will be available for Season 8. No, this was always going to be between two main characters. Because if there's one thing this show hasn't overdone more than Ted/Robin, it's Robin/Barney!

I would say I'm looking forward to seeing how they handle the Barney/Quinn break-up and the  Barney-Robin get-together, but whatever. I'm sure it will be dragged out and painful -- just like Ted and Victoria.

Let me know when you all think in the comments section about Robin and Barney and Ted and Victoria.


NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

OLD PERSON 1: "I'm having a heart attack."
OLD PERSON 2: "I'm having a heart attack."
OLD PERSON 3: "I'm having a heart attack and my doctor is at St. Marcus Hospital."



RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

--Zelda on the ATM machine. Legen-wait for it--Dary!

--Seriously, did anyone care whatsoever about the Robin-as-baby-photograper storyline?

--It really is a wonderful thing when the vending machine malfunctions in your favor.

THE SCORE: 666 out of 1000

Yes, I meant to do that.

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REVIEW: Castle 4.23 -- Always (season finale)

Good for you, Rick Castle, play hard to get! The four-year slow play wasn't working out so well.

The Season 4 "Castle" finale was entitled 'Always', but probably should have been named 'Always Predicatable'.

Beckett's shooter would make an appearance? No! No resolution would be made on the case and we still don't know who orchestrated it all? No way! Beckett would be seconds away from dying? What a stunner! Beckett and Castle would finally get together? Never saw that coming!!

What made last year's finale so special, in part, was because it was nothing like this. We didn't know Beckett was going to get sniped. We didn't know Castle would blurt out "I love you" and we didn't know if she heard him say it. But in this finale, we knew everything that would happen before it even happened -- and that's WITHOUT seeing any spoilers that may or may not have been out there.

Maybe it's not fair to compare this year's finale to season 3's, but that was such an intense ending that just left me saying "wow". I couldn't wait for the next season to start. There was no "wow factor" in this one and while I'm interested to see how they resolve Kate's resignation from the precinct and how they handle Beckett and Castle moving forward, I'm in no rush to fast-forward real life to the Season 5 premier.

It's not all bad. I mean, those complaints aside, this is kind of what we wanted, right? We wanted the finale to be related to Johanna's murder and Kate's shooting. We wanted drama, we wanted angst and movement on the Beckett and Castle front and we got all of that. I guess I just hoped it would have been a bit better and a lot less predictable.

I also wish they didn't pull one of the things I hate most in life: "three weeks earlier". UGH. I would very much like to know what you all think about this, whether you like when shows do this or not, but I just don't like when the dramatic moments are teased at the beginning. I feel like it takes the suspense out of a moment that is supposed to be -- wait for it -- SUSPENSEFUL! Just a lame and tired plot device. 

There's really not much else to add. Maybe the expectations were too high, because of the bar it set last year, but I was hoping for better. Now I'm hoping you will let me know what you think of the way this season ended.


NOTABLE QUOTABLES:

CASTLE: "Wow, that really is a smart phone."

BECKETT: "How the hell could you do this?"
CASTLE: "Because I love you. But you already know that, don't you? You've known for about a year."
BECKETT: "Are you kidding me? You're actually bringing this up right now? After you told me you just betrayed me.

CASTLE: "Because of everything we've been through together! Four years, I've been right here! Four years just waiting for you to open your eyes to see that I'm right here.  And that I'm more than a partner. Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee just so I can see a smile on your face because I think you're the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person I've ever met. And I love you Kate, and if that means anything to you -- if you care about me at all, just don't do this."

CASTLE: "Yeah, you're right Kate. It's your life. You can throw it away  if you want, I'm not going to stick around and watch it. This is over, I'm done."

BECKETT: "Keep it. I resign."

CASTLE: "Beckett, what do you want?"
BECKETT: "You. ... "I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

BECKETT: "He got away and I didn't care. I almost died and all I could think about was you."

BAD GUY: "I'm gonna put Beckett in the ground once and for all."


RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

--Why do chicks only want the guy when the guy says he doesn't want the girl anymore? I need answers!

--Yup. Of course! Only a half-second away from dying and she's saved. It never fails.

--I enjoy when Castle talks about the problems he has with Alexis to Kate. Also love how it's always on a walk to the crime scene.

--Ugh. Criminals this smart aren't dumb enough to walk in front of cameras in secret hiding places.Criminal masterminds tend to cover their bases better than that.

--Ah, isn't that cute? Alexis' and Castle's storylines co-inciding. And Beckett's too!

--You did the right thing Detective Ryan! I'm proud of you!

--I feel like 50% of all shows have a roof-scene in their finale's. Anyone else notice this?

THE SCORE: 75 out of 100

Some nice scenes between Castle and Beckett, a nice little surprise with Beckett quitting and good performances by Ryan, Esposito and Alexis. But that's about it for the real positives.

And don't complain about the score. A 75/100 translates perfectly into 3/4 stars. It wasn't better than that.

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Curb Your Enthusiasm, 8.10, Michael J. Fucked Up

This is it guys, the last episode of the season. Or should I say "la saison", since Larry and Leon have found their way to Paris. I wonder who Larry is going to run into in the city of lights that is going to ask him to make an appearance at a fundraiser or some do-goody event, that he'll lie to, saying that he has to be out of town that day, that will ultimately lead him to a new city. Marion Cotillard? Vincent Cassel? Charlotte Gainsbourg? (I'm naming French people that most of you have probably heard of. If I had to name the French equivalent to LD it would have to be Fabrice Luchini but you all would be like WHO THE FUCK?) Anyway, here it goes...the last review for Curb Your Enthusiasm by Babydoll. It's been a mother fucking pleasure.

1. "Larry Vs. Micheal J. Fox" starts off with Larry in Jennifer's (Ana "Schweddy Balls" Gasteyer) apartment. While waiting for her, he meets Greg, her highly effeminate, highly gay, 7 year old son. Thus proving to us all that gayness can begin in the early stages of life, even before you're aware that you want to touch another boy's penis. Greg is FAAAAABULOUSSSSSS. He watches Project Runway, loves FASHION, and he totally gets the esthetic of swastikas. So much so that he wants to bring them back. He loves the way that the lines go up, then down, then straight, it's like, really couture. If ever he decided to go on Project Runway (and with his pillow sham, I'm sure he'd stand a chance), I'm not sure Heidi Klum would go for his Aryan Nation look. Sorry Greg, but unless you change that swastika to stripes, I'm going to have to say "auf wiedersehen". Nevertheless, Larry embraces the little Carson Kressley wannabe and decides to buy him a sowing machine for his birthday. Of course, Jennifer freaks out, accusing Larry of trying to "turn her son gay", but as Larry puts it "it's not like I can get him a football or a baseball". It's Larry's ill-fated destiny: he has the right intentions but they are constantly misconstrued due to their implications, especially if they are (and they mostly are) taboos.

2. Speaking of taboos, Michael J. Fox (or should I say Michael J. FOXY) appears in this episode, and after watching it for the first time, I really wanted to count how many times the word "Parkinson's" was uttered. But I'm lazy, so, I abandoned that endeavor pretty quickly. Foxy plays LD's upstairs neighbor and the two run into each other at Jennifer's bar where she is a background music piano player. If only Sinatra could have heard her play "New York, New York", he would have shushed everyone in the audience as well. LD, wishing to hear her play (and get laid) shushes MJF, leading him to shake his head at Larry as he walks out of the bar. But is it a Parkinson's shake or a pissed off shake? That is the question. And there begins the whole David/Fox face-off. LD believes that Fox's attitude towards him (the soda shake, the stomping on the floor) is all in Fox's plan to piss him off but disguised as being part of his Parkinson's. As he rightly puts it, Fox can't have carte blanche for being an asshole JUST BECAUSE he has Parkinson's. The Parkinson's Pity Party shouldn't keep people from treating him like a normal human being, someone that could ACTUALLY be an asshole. However, the rest of New York doesn't see it like Larry does and at Fox's get together for his foundation, Bloomberg, in a very Trump-esque way, tells LD, le new-yorker, to peace the fuck out of the city (well he didn't say it exactly that way but humor me). Again in LD's defense, the only reason he mimicked a violin player was because he really got Greg a violin. But such is LD's fate. He's misunderstood, even in the city that raised him. It's as if the New York that created Larry isn't that same New York anymore. The times of the politically incorrect David and Allen's of this world might be long and gone. Now, that's just my interpretation, and it is up for debate.

3. Larry however doesn't leave NY because Bloomberg tells him to (like many New Yorkers during Hurricane Irene). He leaves because he doesn't want to help out the sick kids at the hospital with Fox and his wife. Playing put put golf with kids, exposing himself to sickness? Fuck that shit. LD tells Fox that he'll be out of town that day, for two months, in Paris. Thus, leading us to the end of the season: Larry et Leon walking along the streets of a fake Paris, only to end up where it all really began: Larry getting angry with a man for parking in between the lines. But this time, he yells at him in French (le pig parker, or as he should have said le cochon qui ne sait pas se garer...but I won't make an issue out of it). It's LD's calling to call shit out at he sees it, no matter what language it's in, and that is what makes him so FABULOUS.

Babydoll's by the way...
-Greg, aka baby Carson, would totally have won Project Runway if it was "Project Runway: The Third Reich".
-I realized only during this episode that I would fucking KILL to live with Leon Black. No joke. Like, couldn't you just picture it? Not being able to sleep, being totally hungry, and making pasta with pesto at 2 in the morning with Leon talking about dicks? If J.B. Smoove was on a reality show like "Flavor of Love" I'd be the first white bitch to try to get a clock, or in this case, a doo-rag.
-How funny was that doorman when he confronted Larry? He was totally acting like a mob man's bodyguard. Only in New York.
-What is it with every show ending with a mention or a shot in the city of lights? Entourage (SPOILER ALERT), Friends, Sex and the City... Is Paris "IT"? What about London or Rome? I'm not complaining, cos hell, it's flattering to me, but I can't help but wonder why Paris?
-In Jennifer's defense, her son could just as well be European (but he's probably gay).
-Did anyone else think back to Seinfeld's purse episode watching the Greg storyline? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnKRbEPbItE).
-Thanks for bringing in Aasif Mandvi from Jon Stewart to play the pissed off guy in the elevator. Though, I am upset he didn't sound THAT british. I wanted more English prick attitude out of him.

Curb Your Political Correctness...
-"Is it pissed off or Parkinson's?"
-"Michael J. Fox is going to be Michael J. Fucked up"
-"That shit don't go down in black neighborhoods"
-"Ok, he's pre-gay".
-The best of Greg: "What's a Hitler? A bad man? Oh my god!" - "GET A LIFE JEWS!". It reminds me of the kid in Schindler's list that says "GOODBYE JEWS!" (See Louis C.K. he does a great rendition). Props to the Curb casting director to have found such a great kid actor. I wonder if they had to tell him to "act gay", would he know what that means at such a young age? Or did they just find the gayest looking kid they knew? I wonder, I wonder.

Finally, I'd like to take a second and just say how much this season of Curb made me forget how pissed I was at waiting for a new season to come back. If the writing is always this good, then I don't mind waiting more than a year for new episodes. That being said, I'd like to see a bit more flashbacks. Why is Larry the way he is?

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