Curb Your Enthusiasm, 8.10, Michael J. Fucked Up

This is it guys, the last episode of the season. Or should I say "la saison", since Larry and Leon have found their way to Paris. I wonder who Larry is going to run into in the city of lights that is going to ask him to make an appearance at a fundraiser or some do-goody event, that he'll lie to, saying that he has to be out of town that day, that will ultimately lead him to a new city. Marion Cotillard? Vincent Cassel? Charlotte Gainsbourg? (I'm naming French people that most of you have probably heard of. If I had to name the French equivalent to LD it would have to be Fabrice Luchini but you all would be like WHO THE FUCK?) Anyway, here it goes...the last review for Curb Your Enthusiasm by Babydoll. It's been a mother fucking pleasure.

1. "Larry Vs. Micheal J. Fox" starts off with Larry in Jennifer's (Ana "Schweddy Balls" Gasteyer) apartment. While waiting for her, he meets Greg, her highly effeminate, highly gay, 7 year old son. Thus proving to us all that gayness can begin in the early stages of life, even before you're aware that you want to touch another boy's penis. Greg is FAAAAABULOUSSSSSS. He watches Project Runway, loves FASHION, and he totally gets the esthetic of swastikas. So much so that he wants to bring them back. He loves the way that the lines go up, then down, then straight, it's like, really couture. If ever he decided to go on Project Runway (and with his pillow sham, I'm sure he'd stand a chance), I'm not sure Heidi Klum would go for his Aryan Nation look. Sorry Greg, but unless you change that swastika to stripes, I'm going to have to say "auf wiedersehen". Nevertheless, Larry embraces the little Carson Kressley wannabe and decides to buy him a sowing machine for his birthday. Of course, Jennifer freaks out, accusing Larry of trying to "turn her son gay", but as Larry puts it "it's not like I can get him a football or a baseball". It's Larry's ill-fated destiny: he has the right intentions but they are constantly misconstrued due to their implications, especially if they are (and they mostly are) taboos.

2. Speaking of taboos, Michael J. Fox (or should I say Michael J. FOXY) appears in this episode, and after watching it for the first time, I really wanted to count how many times the word "Parkinson's" was uttered. But I'm lazy, so, I abandoned that endeavor pretty quickly. Foxy plays LD's upstairs neighbor and the two run into each other at Jennifer's bar where she is a background music piano player. If only Sinatra could have heard her play "New York, New York", he would have shushed everyone in the audience as well. LD, wishing to hear her play (and get laid) shushes MJF, leading him to shake his head at Larry as he walks out of the bar. But is it a Parkinson's shake or a pissed off shake? That is the question. And there begins the whole David/Fox face-off. LD believes that Fox's attitude towards him (the soda shake, the stomping on the floor) is all in Fox's plan to piss him off but disguised as being part of his Parkinson's. As he rightly puts it, Fox can't have carte blanche for being an asshole JUST BECAUSE he has Parkinson's. The Parkinson's Pity Party shouldn't keep people from treating him like a normal human being, someone that could ACTUALLY be an asshole. However, the rest of New York doesn't see it like Larry does and at Fox's get together for his foundation, Bloomberg, in a very Trump-esque way, tells LD, le new-yorker, to peace the fuck out of the city (well he didn't say it exactly that way but humor me). Again in LD's defense, the only reason he mimicked a violin player was because he really got Greg a violin. But such is LD's fate. He's misunderstood, even in the city that raised him. It's as if the New York that created Larry isn't that same New York anymore. The times of the politically incorrect David and Allen's of this world might be long and gone. Now, that's just my interpretation, and it is up for debate.

3. Larry however doesn't leave NY because Bloomberg tells him to (like many New Yorkers during Hurricane Irene). He leaves because he doesn't want to help out the sick kids at the hospital with Fox and his wife. Playing put put golf with kids, exposing himself to sickness? Fuck that shit. LD tells Fox that he'll be out of town that day, for two months, in Paris. Thus, leading us to the end of the season: Larry et Leon walking along the streets of a fake Paris, only to end up where it all really began: Larry getting angry with a man for parking in between the lines. But this time, he yells at him in French (le pig parker, or as he should have said le cochon qui ne sait pas se garer...but I won't make an issue out of it). It's LD's calling to call shit out at he sees it, no matter what language it's in, and that is what makes him so FABULOUS.

Babydoll's by the way...
-Greg, aka baby Carson, would totally have won Project Runway if it was "Project Runway: The Third Reich".
-I realized only during this episode that I would fucking KILL to live with Leon Black. No joke. Like, couldn't you just picture it? Not being able to sleep, being totally hungry, and making pasta with pesto at 2 in the morning with Leon talking about dicks? If J.B. Smoove was on a reality show like "Flavor of Love" I'd be the first white bitch to try to get a clock, or in this case, a doo-rag.
-How funny was that doorman when he confronted Larry? He was totally acting like a mob man's bodyguard. Only in New York.
-What is it with every show ending with a mention or a shot in the city of lights? Entourage (SPOILER ALERT), Friends, Sex and the City... Is Paris "IT"? What about London or Rome? I'm not complaining, cos hell, it's flattering to me, but I can't help but wonder why Paris?
-In Jennifer's defense, her son could just as well be European (but he's probably gay).
-Did anyone else think back to Seinfeld's purse episode watching the Greg storyline? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnKRbEPbItE).
-Thanks for bringing in Aasif Mandvi from Jon Stewart to play the pissed off guy in the elevator. Though, I am upset he didn't sound THAT british. I wanted more English prick attitude out of him.

Curb Your Political Correctness...
-"Is it pissed off or Parkinson's?"
-"Michael J. Fox is going to be Michael J. Fucked up"
-"That shit don't go down in black neighborhoods"
-"Ok, he's pre-gay".
-The best of Greg: "What's a Hitler? A bad man? Oh my god!" - "GET A LIFE JEWS!". It reminds me of the kid in Schindler's list that says "GOODBYE JEWS!" (See Louis C.K. he does a great rendition). Props to the Curb casting director to have found such a great kid actor. I wonder if they had to tell him to "act gay", would he know what that means at such a young age? Or did they just find the gayest looking kid they knew? I wonder, I wonder.

Finally, I'd like to take a second and just say how much this season of Curb made me forget how pissed I was at waiting for a new season to come back. If the writing is always this good, then I don't mind waiting more than a year for new episodes. That being said, I'd like to see a bit more flashbacks. Why is Larry the way he is?

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Curb Your Enthusiasm 8.07 - Hardball

In this week's Curb, we learn that NYC women are easy and that their relationships can be summed up with baseball metaphors. We also learn that there is a bow index (no relation to the BMI) and that Rosie O'Donnell can still hit a home run (remember A League Of Their Own?). But most importantly, Leon is back, and he's managed to fuck up the Prius, but it's OK, because "8 mother fuckers" can totally fit in there - hear that, Toyota?

1. We first run into LD at an art gallery opening (sooooooooo NY). However, instead of running into a Real Housewives of New York City cast member, he meets a charming woman named Jane Cohen (she's jewish, yay!) whom he hits it off with right away, meaning sarcasm and banter are involved. All seems to be honkey dory until he runs into Rosie O'Donnell who tells him she's met an amazing woman that made her feel things in places she thought had been dried up for years (that's what vaseline and sex toys are for babe). Slowly, LD and Rosie come to realize that they are talking about the same woman. What could have been a great opportunity for a ménage à trois just got complicated. Jane is a bisexual, and as Rosie so aptly puts it, "half the population isn't enough for them?" The two then dual for her affection and if you're me you can't help but think, OK they are famous and intelligent in their own right, but who the fuck would want to be in a position having to choose between Larry David and Rosie O'Donnell? It's like choosing between urining in a cup or having a tetanus shot. There are clearly hotter single comical celebrities to choose from.

2. LEON IS BACK IN THE MOTHER FUCKING PLACE, wife beater and doo-rag intact. There's not much more to say really except that he may have solved the war of the sexes by a baseball metaphor.

3. LD orders takeout from a japanese place for his date with Jane and the miso soup spills in the bag. It's no Fukushima, but Larry is annoyed and decides to go back to the restaurant to tell them about the mishap. Takeout places have two jobs to do according to Larry: get the order right and secure the food. The maître d' - flippant and dismissive, apologizes by saying "sorry" and bowing slowly and slightly. LD further learns that that bow is not an actual apology but a "shit bow" because a real bow is at a 90 degree angle in japanese culture (thank you japanese tourist in central park who speaks english fluently). LD goes back to the restaurant to tell the maître d' what the tourist had told him and tells him that he'll go online to see what the REAL apologetic bow is. Wikipedia has this to say : bows of apology tend to be deeper and last longer than other types of bow. They tend to occur with frequency during the apology, generally at about 45 degrees with the head lowered and lasting for at least the count of three, sometimes longer. The depth, frequency and duration of the bow increases with the sincerity of the apology and the severity of the offense. Well Larry, now you also have to be worried about frequency and duration. Thanks Curb for teaching me something I never really wanted to know.

4. LD runs into an acquaintance at the japanese place called Duckstein. The story is pretty simple: Duck wants to have lunch with Larry. Larry doesn't see the point because they aren't friends. Duck wants to be friends. Larry doesn't. This whole subplot wouldn't really have been all that interesting if it didn't solidify one of the "Curb" staples, which is LD taking an every day custom or social behavior and scrutinizing it for the total ludicracy of it.

5. LD wins over Jane by taking viagra and blowing her mind with his sexual prowess (take that Tony!). Jane then decides to dump Rosie (too bad RoRo, the gay cruise will be for the next chick). Jane takes LD to Cooperstown because straight women can also be into baseball, and asks him to bow when he steps on her shoe. LD, wishing to show off his newfound skills in the art of bowing, executes, dropping his little blue pill at the same time. LD, embarrassed, tells Jane : "everybody does it...I was just leveling out the playing field". I guess Rosie can start planning that cruise afterall .

Babydoll's by the way...
-Duckstein? Should we be looking into a jewish remake of Pretty in Pink?
-You can't compete against the Tony's? What about the Emmy's? The Oscars? I bet Jane also watches Glee and probably has a crush on both Sue Sylvester and Will Schuester.
- LD walking down Washington Square searching for viagra reminds me that men will fucking do anything to get laid.
- If only Susie had been in this episode so I can critique her outfit. Sigh.

Curb your political correctness...
-LD: "I was offended that I was invited".
-"Who the fuck is Tony?" (The Tiger? Hahahaha, OK that was fucking pathetic).
- Leon: "Bats and balls rule the fucking world. Gloves don't catch gloves".
- BEST LINE OF ALL TIME, RESERVED FOR PURE MOTHER FUCKING G'S : "I just had a croissant filled with mother fuckin' champagne'".

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