Review - DOCTOR WHO: 'The Angels Take Manhattan'

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

If I had to rate this episode, and why would I want to, I'd give it:

But if I had to rate it after my tears have dried, then I'd give it:

85 out of 100

Goodbye Amy Pond. Life isn't worth living anymore without you in it. Goodbye Rory. I can survive without you but you were cool too.

Best review ever.
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Review - FRINGE 5.01: 'Transilience Thought Unifier Model-11'

The beginning of the end of FRINGE is upon us and its fans squee in earnest. But was it worth the wait? Can this final season live up to the hype? Does this episode kick off greatness or invite the coming of disappointment?

Season 4's failure was in building up to several main points that under-delivered. Peter's attempt to return to his timeline was a silly and total waste of time since it should have been obvious to anyone paying attention that he was already in the correct timeline (as I shouted in virtually every single review last year). And the "death" of Olivia that was foreshadowed by September felt totally void of earned drama when it occurred after we had already seen an episode about the future that made it clear she had to have survived.

Not to mention the weak plodding along of the main storyline and its lazy resolution.

However, within that season there were several interesting developments, the greatest being the takeover of Earth by the Observers and the jump-forward into the future where everything has gone wrong and our heroes have to be collected and released from amber to fight the invaders.

That is where we begin this season and at least I am excited to see where it all goes. I am thrilled that the case-of-the-week element has been vanquished from the show (I know some of you dig that).  So this should be a 13-episode fully serialized story about how these characters either save the world or fail and die.

Spoiler: they will save it.  Not that I know anything but... they will. Come on.

What one has to wonder is whether or not the ride will be satisfying. Do these writers have it in them to deliver something worthy of the greatness of say seasons 2 and 3?  Will we feel like the journey, even with some of the missteps, was done justice when the final curtain is pulled back on the series?

I want to be able to say yes but this episode made me a bit worried even though I did like it.

The fundamental problem with it is that we are given certain story beats as expositions and that rarely works. Something happened between Peter and Olivia (and Walter I guess) where Pacey Poof decided to not join them because their daughter was missing? Yeah, I'd like to have seen that not heard about it. And if I couldn't see it, then don't bother explaining it. Or don't even write it. Unless there is some grand plan to have that pay off in some way later, it is just a strip of dangling drama that used up time that could have been spent on emotional points that weren't utilized enough.

In that regard, why have these writers been so afraid, since the end of season 3, to allow Peter and Olivia to have actual intimacy without having to play with their relationship? How many times do we need them to rediscover each other? Does this show even need that? I'd rather focus on whatever and wherever this story wants to take us toward. Again, unless there is some grand plan for that this season, it is just a waste of time.

Anyway, I liked the Walter interrogation scenes even as I cringed at his suffering. I loved the infiltration sequence though it did go by much too quickly (could have extended it by doing away with exposition talk earlier).  I even enjoyed the search for Olivia even if it was completed (again) much too easily.  And I was encouraged by a few character beats that make me wonder about where Henrietta's mind is at and whether she may be a loose cannon at some point.

I also watched the promo that followed the episode and did feel a twinge of excitement about future episodes.  So, while I wasn't blown away by 5.01, I am also not too down on it. Instead, I am cautiously waiting to be blown away.

If I had to rate this episode, and Walter's scrambled brain says I do, then I'd give it:

81 out of 100

Less exposition, less Peter and Olivia emo-sillyness and more shooting Observers would have brought the score up.
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Review - SOUTH PARK 16.08: 'Sarcastaball'

The 8th episode in this 16th season, and the 231st in the series, comes only FIVE MONTHS after the previous episode because these silly cable networks like to space these things apart to extend the length of seasons without ordering more episodes.

What dicks.

THE PLOT
Randy becomes concerned about rules changes meant to stop concussions in football and takes action to change the game forever by making sarcastic suggestions in a PTA meeting that the board takes seriously. It then appoints Randy as head of his new type of football where the players wear bras and tinfoil-hats instead of helmets. Also, instead of a ball the game is played with a balloon. And the player who catches the balloon tries to run while all the other players hug.

He names it Sarcastaball.

Unfortunately for Randy, his sarcasm totally falls on dumb ears. The country happily and excitedly takes to this new sport. And Butters give a rallying speech about a kinder gentler game.

The NFL Broncos then hire Randy to coach the team and newly changed game-play.

Later, Butters has a wet dream and we learn he saves his creamy goo (what the fuck is he going to do with it?!). When Cartman worries that he just doesn't have the creamy goo fortitude to be good at Sarcastaball, Butters shares with him his goo which Cartman slurps up enthusiastically.

We also get a timely jab at the replacement referee problem, proving yet again why SOUTH PARK is the most unique show on television, able to put something that just happened into the show.

Anyway, so Randy becomes so consumed by Sarcastaball that he can't stop being sarcastic. Others have the same problem. The sport is turning everyone into fuckin' sarcastic douchebags!

Meanwhile, the little boys' team is drinking Butters' performance enhancing spank juice to get an edge over the competition. Soon the whole country is on Butters' Creamy Goo. Best served just above room temperature.

QUOTING SOUTH PARK

Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: [sarcastically] Yes Stan, this is what people want. Don't worry, you look really cool.

Butters: [upon waking up] Daaaaad! It happened again. More of my creamy goo came out.

Cartman: I don't know what to do. Kids are starting to make fun of me because I'm no good at Sarcastaball. I suck at being nice and polite! I am so good at sucking, I should work at a Thai massage parlor.

Butters: [showing Cartman his spunk collection] My goo doesn't come out every night, but I sure do seem to have a surplus of it.

Randy: [after drinking Butters' Creamy Goo] This is cum.

Butters: What's sarcasm and what's cum?
Stephen: We'll talk about that when you're older.

RATING
If I had to rate this episode, and Butter's Creamy Goo says I do, then I'd give it:

88 out of 100

The episode was obviously a shot at the pussification of the NFL as well as the replacement referee problem and PEDs. But also a social commentary on the evils of sarcasm! As such it definitely works. Sure, the point of it all is hammered along a bit too much but when you consider that these things are conceptualized, written, voice acted, and animated in a week, it becomes more impressive.

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Rating the FOX Tuesday Comedy Block Premiere (2012)

Here are my quick reactions to the premiere Tuesday FOX comedy block.

NEW GIRL

Episode 1
Schmidt's penis escapes its cast and so he puts on a party. Jess gets fired.

90 out of 100

Oh look... another show breaks up a romantic pairing in the off-season and it makes no fuckin' sense. Otherwise I laughed a lot and there was some fantastically silly dialogue.

Episode 2
Jess whores herself out to different dudes and pretends to be Katie. Schmidt tries to nail Winston's sister. Nick meets his future self.

88 out of 100

Nick believing he met his future self bit was perfect. Jess trying to juggle multiple men and Schmidt trying to nail Winston's sister bit was less successful, though it had some terrific dialogue.

Jess: I had the best sex of my life last night.
Nick: Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.
Jess: It wasn't. It was me. Having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird that I saw my grandparents, came back down. I became a werewolf, I scared some teenagers. I came back into my body. Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie and that I'm a dancer and or something involving puppets. 

BEN AND KATE

Ben is a lovable idiot. Kate is a lovable twit.

82 out of 100

It was okay but I feel like I've seen this type of show before and done better. Though, that little kid is ADORABLE! I may just stick around for her because she's also a pretty good actor. And we rarely see good child actors who are ADORABLE.

THE MINDY PROJECT

I love Mindy Kaling. She plays a neurotic doctor who can't find love... or something. She's goofy. Fast talking. Craycray. I love her! But I fear the show may be too good for network TV. Should be on HBO or Showtime.

92 out of 100

I really want this show to do well and to see more NBC stars appear because we all know FOX wants nothing more than to steal everything that is successful away from NBC because Kevin Reilly is still burning mad about being fired by the Peacock.

Huh huh... I said cock.


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