Red Tails: Blood in My Stool

Write: Head Geek Furious

Lucasfilm has release the trailer for their big World War 2 movie, RED TAILS, about the first African American fighter squadron. The true story behind the men who were involved is great and very inspirational and George Lucas and his company seek to rape their memory with this venture by making it into Star Wars over Germany circa 1944.



Since it wasn't bad enough that Michael Bay made the worst prison sex movie ever, called PEARL HARBOR, George Lucas has decided to take his childhood raping skills to the only war it is still cool to talk about, and about a group of men who were inspirational and paved the way for changes within the military and eventually the whole nation.

But why do that and make it realistic? I mean, how could it possibly be fun to watch a movie where the air war over Nazi Germany is depicted in the way it happened? Obviously, P-51 Mustangs knife fighting it out with FW-190s and BF-109s at 400 knots is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring that it has to be made cartoony and stupid! And thankfully, that is what George Lucas has delivered with his little movie that he has been working on for 200 years.

And I know that most of you will have no clue why I am saying the movie is unrealistic, but my greatest passion is flight and my biggest sub-passion within that one is World War 2 combat fighters. And no ME-262 would do a split-S in the middle of a B and Z run on B-17s while being pursued by slower P-51s!!!! Only an idiot would toss out the advantage they had in an air battle (in the case of the 262, tons of speed) to even the playing field for the P-51 for any amount of time. Sure, a split-S would logically increase energy for the 262 but the process of turning into the maneuver would make the aircraft an easy target for a pursuing P-51. And those 262s were not good about taking damage. One little bullet in the engine and they sparked up like a rocket.

Crap... I sound like a nerd now.

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Wilfred - Conscience

Writer: Head Geek Furious

The greatest show of all time is on the little cable network FX (in the states). It is based on an Australian show of the same name, about a guy who sees a dog named Wilfred as a man in a dog suit. The Australian version is a bit different from the American version but the premise is very much the same and the dog is played by the same actor (writer and show creator Jason Gann). The lead in the American version is hotly played by Elijah Wood.

WILFRED is a show I have wanted to write about since it started a few weeks ago but wasn't inspired until episode 1.06. I don't like to write episode reviews so instead I am going to note my favorite lines of dialogue from the episode. If that doesn't get you to watch, nothing will. All quotes come from the character Wilfred:

"Oh I get it. Because I'm a dog, right? I can only imagine what you'd say if I was black."

"Your death... will be... my holiday."

"Back to back to back to back to back orgasms, that's what's wrong."

"Put your legs up. Put your legs up, please. Oh come on bear, work with me here. BAH. What's the use. You see what Drew does to me, Ryan? I'm so emasculated I can't even raise a fence post with stupid ol' bear."

"But Drew sex punching Jenna for hours on end? You're ok with that?"

"Alright, here's what I'm thinking. We wait until Drew is asleep and then we put his hand in warm water. Then, just when he starts to pee himself, we take a rock and crush his skull."

"So chemistry, baking, and ping-pong. I guess my only question is: How were you not blowjob'd to death by the entire cheerleading squad?"

"I thought you said you were good. I've seen more aggressive ball playing in an airport men's room. Get your head in the game."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go tear a new asshole in the back of bear's neck."

"After everything I did to you... I will never understand humans. This is the reason why we will ultimately defeat you."

"Hell, maybe you're onto something with all this conscience stuff. Maybe started to think I should stop doing that god awful stuff to your mouth-guard."

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Curb Your Enthusiasm 8.03 - Palestinian Chicken

So...you would think I'd be totally bummed out watching an episode of Curb where there wasn't at least one scene with Leon walking around sportin' a doo-rag and swearing like a mother-f'in trucker. However, this episode was so rich in every single way imaginable that I didn't even realize that I had gone a full episode without hearing "you know what I'm sayin'?"

This week Curb was a doozy. Not only did it give us a quick picture of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict but it also delved deep into the Jewish identity - what does it really mean to be Jewish? Can you still consider yourself Jewish if your last orgasm can be traced back to a Palestinian shiksha? Don't ask me, cos I'm French Catholic, but according to Larry, or should I say, Leib son of Nat, the answer is yes.

Ok, with all of that out of the way, what really went down this week on The Jewish Shore ("Palestinian Chicken") ?

1. Larry and his friends have a golf tournament. The Funk hasn't been showing up to practice due to the fact that he went through a midife crisis and decided to rededicate his life to judaism, leading Larry to ask him "are you for real...when are you gonna come back down to earth?" Larry throughout the episode responds to Funk's rededication with a sort of scoff - his derision is not scornful but you can't help but notice he finds the whole transformation absurd. The moment when the Funk decides to say prayer before they eat is priceless, especially when he starts to bless the wine - LD decides to drink it before the prayer is spoken. It's one thing to make someone wait to eat his dinner, but it's another thing to make him wait before he starts hitting the liquor. In Larry's mind, not praying doesn't make you less Jewish, but praying does make your potatoes go cold.

2. Larry, son of Nat, has discovered his true vocation - as Jeff puts it, he's a "social assassin". If we've learned anything about LD over the last 8 seasons is that the man has moxy. If the man has something to say - he'll say it. So, his friend asks him to tell his wife to stop saying LOL (God Janice, even on another TV show you are capabe of annoying the crap out of people), and Sammy asks him to tell her mom to stop making that "starts off with a kiss that leads into a gasp" sound when she drinks. LD, "social assasin" handles these requests and as expected, the shit hits the fan. Sure, no one likes to be told they have an annoying habit, but what's funny is that the women both think that their husbands are behind the complaints. It's like THEY KNOW that someone is out to get them - and that someone usually shares a bed with them.

3. Finally, the best storyline in my opinion - El Abbas chicken. Larry and Jeff go try out this palestinian place that serves the best chicken ever, apparently. This chicken place becomes problematic when it decides to open another wing ('wing' - get it? Oh my, I am so funny!) right next door to Goldblatt's delicatessen. The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is coming head to head - or more like parking lot to adjacent parking lot. Larry is unphased by the rooted rivalry for two reasons: one, the chicken is OUT OF THIS WORLD and two, there's a hot palestinian chick. Chicken and women - lethal combo. What will he choose? Move over Sophie, Larry has his choice to make.

Babydoll's "by the way"...
-Is it me or do all men after they've reached a certain age/career status gravitate towards khakis, polos, and freshly cut grass? What is it about golf, seriously? There's no women around (hardly), you can't drink while you play, and you have to walk A LOT. What's the fun in that?
-Maggie Wheeler, the woman we refer to as Janice ("Oh...my....god!") actually has a normal voice. I'm kind of disappointed. I used to imagine her as being legit nasal like Fran Drescher. I feel kind of cheated.
-Larry Miller is back after 10 Things I Hate About You (the movie AND the TV show, talk about pulling a "Cluless" am I right?). I strongly suggest that LD call up Wallace Shawn next.
-People NEED TO STOP SAYING "LOL". ROFLcopter is still acceptable.

Curb your political correctness
-"This would be a fantastic place for jews that are cheating on their spouses to come to"
-"Not only does this somebody not want you... doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist... wants your destruction... that's a turn on"
"I'm living under a mitzvahs... you have none of that"
-"I'm already committed to the rally on the other side of Goldblatt's at the german place"
-"What's not to like?" "Ehh..you're a jew" "EH!"
-"I look like I've got a kitty and we're making evil plans!"
- THE BOUQUET FINAL: "Fu** me you fu**ing jew... you zionist pig... you occupying fu**... I'm going to fu** the jew out of you... you want to fu** me like Israel fu**ed my country? Fu** me you jew bastard! You circumsized fu**!"
-"The penis doesn't care about race, creed, color...the penis wants to get to its' homeland...it wants to go home!"

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I’m a Comic-con Masochist

Writer: MediaSavant

I’m not a journalist. I don’t get a press pass for Comic-con that allows me immediate access to any panel I want to go to. I’m just one of the 125,000 or so saps who get a regular badge and fight it out for seats to the panels we are interested in.

This was my 11th Comic-con. Relative to what it is today, my first one (2000) was a quaint affair, but at that time, it was still larger than any geek-ish convention I’d ever attended. I went because some of the Farscape cast and creators were there. The SciFi Channel--along with Nick and Cartoon--were really the only networks there as I recall.

There were moments at this year’s con that were so dreadful where I wondered what the hell I was doing to myself. The worst would be around the fourth hour of being in line to get into Ballroom 20—the 4,250 capacity room where they held most of the TV panels. Prior to that, we had been in a 3-hour line to buy 2012 badges. The brilliant leaders of the convention turned what used to be a 5-minute process into yet another crazy queue.

But, then, a little while later I’m in a panel and it seems to refresh me enough to go at it again.

Here’s my recollection of this year’s con:

TV takes over the convention

Comic-con started to gain its current reputation when the movie studios started coming down with the big stores. But, as has been reported, the movie line-up this year was not as strong as the last few years. But, with the exception of Sunday, the convention still put up this weaker line-up in the largest space at the convention—the cavernous Hall H.

I never even attempted to attend anything there, but I hear there were empty seats in many of the panels. The spill-off seemed to go to the TV panels. It makes sense. I believe television is something fans create a relationship with, while movies are more like one night stands. Plus, the con doesn’t turn over the rooms when panels end. So, people tend to stay in the room for quite a while after they get in. With TV, its much easier to have a string of TV panels in a row for shows you’ve at least seen once and are familiar with.

Once upon a time, it wasn’t hard to get into a TV panel. I remember attending Chuck’s first panel in ’07 in a smaller room than Ballroom 20, but not waiting that long to get in. This year, the lines for Ballroom 20 were THE WORST I’VE EVER SEEN. Friday was particularly awful. They had some of the most popular shows in the same room from True Blood to Big Bang Theory and watchable panels for Syfy shows in the middle. Audience turnover between panels was low and that accumulated the lines outside.

Below is a picture I took when I got in line. The convention center is off in the distance:



Offsite panels: Brilliant idea

Chuck’s Zachary Levi rented out some space a few blocks from the convention center, called it “Nerd HQ” and held a few small panels with a capacity of about 150 people. I attended about two of these and they were two of my most pleasant experiences of the con. Hanging out at the bar downstairs was also a great respite when the convention center was getting to me. I don’t know where this is going. If it gets any more popular than it was, getting a ticket to the small panels could turn into an exercise in frustration for the fan. The Firefly panel and Zac’s panel sold out quickly.

But, I love this alternative of having a seat in a panel that you can show up to 5 minutes before it starts.

I am now a fan of Felicia Day

My SDCC Comic-con [friend] has been a Felicia Day fan for years, but I wasn’t on the bandwagon. I got introduced to her by the Nerd HQ adding her to the panel list. I accompanied my friend to see what it was all about and found I like her a lot. (see photo from panel with host Zac Levi below) This is “old school” Comic-con to me. So many things people attend are for things they already are fans of. But, back in the days when there were fewer movie and TV panels, we would attend things just because we had a blank slot open and the description sounded vaguely interesting.



As for Felicia, before I headed back home, I purchased The Guild, her webseries, from iTunes.

Is being a marketing target validation?

If you’ve ever been into something that gets the label “cult” and none of your non-geek friends have ever heard of the things you are into, there’s something incredibly satisfying about an industry being desperate to market to you.

There’s also something oddly cool about being surrounded by Hollywood-like parties even if you can’t get into them. I was hanging out in the bar of my hotel when some incredibly attractive women came in and drew the eyes of the males at the bar. I knew a FX Network/Maxim party was happening at the hotel. I asked the bartender who had served these ladies if they might be there for Maxim. He thought “no” because there was some sort of Playboy party across the street.

There were many cool marketing ploys, but I loved the Museum of Conan Art, dedicated to Conan O'Brien:



The plane home was interesting as everyone on it seemed to have some extra swag to stuff into the overheads. I throw some of mine away, but the “Ringer” stool for sitting while you are in line could be useful in the future even if Ringer is canceled next season.

The extras that bring me back

• I’m proud to say I’ve attended all five panels that Chuck has ever had. I was part of their first standing ovation and I was part of their last. Yeah, I know you can watch that panel on line, but it’s not the same as being there.
• Some of the panels have gotten very good at entertaining. I hear the Nathan Fillion panel—which I missed—was outstanding.
• San Diego is a great town to get away to when your home town is sweltering in 100 degrees+ heat
• Every year is a little different.
• Sharing interests with other fans while in line and seeing friends I see at the con every year because we don't live in the same part of the coutnry

If I could change one thing about Comic-con, it would be…

I bet you think I’ll say something about the queues. Nope. My number one Comic-con peeve is actually…drumroll…strollers.

For the life of me, I don’t know why people bring “stroller-aged” kids to a con this size. The kids end up seeing nothing but people’s crotches anyway. The strollers end up knocking people in the shins and ankles while they happen not to be looking down. They take up space.

If they can institute a “no stroller” policy, I’d be extremely happy.

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