Wilfred - Doubt

In a world... where people... and dogs... and people... and dogs who look like people... on an island... where people are lost... DOUBT!

That would be my trailer for this episode.

But what happened? Watch it! Here are the top quotable moments:

Wilfred: Let me find you a nice hit-it-and-quit-it chick. (looking through Internet dating service profiles) Gross. Out of your league. Lazy eye. Balding Asian grandmother. Grooooosss. Oooh! Here we go. Angelique.
Ryan: Are you kidding?!
Wilfred: Are YOU kidding? Favorite music: all types. This chick must be like an expert in music.

Wilfred: You think your demons have vanished but that's a lie, mate.
Ryan: No offense but I think I know myself better than you do.
Wilfred: You're right. What do I know? I'm just your neighbor's dog who talks to you and doubles partner in Wii Tennis. You're totally fine.

Wilfred: Oooooooh! Red velvet. I think I'm gonna be a little bit naughty today.

Bruce: And then he convinced you to make out with your own father!
Ryan: What?! No.
Bruce: Yeah. No. I mean, me neither.

Angelique: Oh my god, some of the things that you wrote were so gross, I almost didn't come here on this date. But then I was like, gross is kind of hot, right? And all of that stuff about the post office. I don't really know what 'snout rape' means, but I hate my mailman too.

Ryan: Why the hell am I on a date with Angelique and not the girl I picked.
Wilfred: Angelique is an alcoholic blowjob machine. And you're welcome.

Wilfred: Violence is never the answer. As the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr once said... (punches Bruce in the face).

Bruce: You convinced me to make out with my own father!
Wilfred: Everyone at the party loved it! They thought it was edgy!

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

Wilfred - Anger

God's gift to humanity, in the form of a man-dog, had another fun episode with loads of quotable lines. Let's relive the greatness that was dialogue in WILFRED 1.08 that we will remember for eternity:

Wilfred: Ryan, remember when I told you a few weeks ago that you are a total pussy? Well, I just want to apologize for not emphasizing that enough.

Wilfred: Ryan, anger is like herpes. You're not meant to keep it to yourself.

Wilfred: No one hates me. I'm Wilfred. I'm adorable. Look at these eyes. The smile. I once cracked a Nazi skinhead in the face with a beer bottle and you know what he did to me? Belly rub.

Wilfred: I don't want my breath smelling like balls.

Wilfred: Kristin, shall I compare thee to a sunset? Morning dew? Flowers? Blahblahblah, some other beautiful shit? Point is, you look good.

Ryan: She didn't treat you that well either. Which was surprising. 'Cause I thought everyone loves Wilfred.
Wilfred: Everyone does, except her because she's not human. Cold black heart. Dead eyes. Nice tits.

Wilfred: Sneakers is no one, huh? Do you usually buy priceless jewelry for no one? Imitation colored glass. Plastic painted to look like metal. This isn't some cheap made-in-China knockoff. This is made-in-Taiwan! You bastard. Keeping another dog on the side, are you?
Ryan: Sneakers was my dog 20-years ago.
Wilfred: 20-years, 20-minutes, makes no difference to me, Ryan. You know I have no concept of time.

Wilfred: Snuggled up against you, licking your ear? What, in the same bed? Where did you meet this budgie smuggler? At a Maroon 5 concert?

Wilfred: Alright, I've been thinking it over and I know what happened last night. After I went to sleep, you somehow managed to get some sort of homo chip planted in my brain!

Wilfred (possessed}: That man is not the real Magic Johnson. I died in 1992. That guy looks nothing like me.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE