Green Lantern - 'Closetalking'

Writer: Multipass

I didn’t actually find the film as awful as I had expected based on the reviews. I was genuinely entertained by the Parallax, Sinestro, Green Lantern corps parts of the movie, but the other 50% of the plot is what killed it. Ryan Reynolds was ok, but I didn’t feel like he brought anything to the character that made him stand out as a superhero, and any time he was in Hal Jordan mode he was kind of a whiney little kid.

One major problem was the love story/dead father part of the plot. Blake Lively, who plays Carol Ferris, has about as much charisma as a dead fish, and she sounds kind of drunk when she talks. So I guess she has the charisma of a dead fish that died of alcohol poisoning. The only good moments she had were when she realizes Hal is a Green Lantern, and when she tells him she feels sorry for him. Otherwise she was a huge time waste. I think I’d have rather seen more of Hal’s scientist friend. And I am so tired of people fighting over a girl in these superhero movies, there has got to be a better reason to try to kill someone after you have been infected by Parallax than boring Carol Ferris. She and Hal had what seemed like 4 or 5 scenes of this:

Hal: Closetalking Closetalking
Carol: Closetalking Closetalking
Hal: Closetalking
Carol: “Something is wrong Hal, what happened?”
Hal: “I don’t wanna tell you!!!! WAAAH!! *stompstompstomp*”
Carol: Look of longing and/or curiosity

Yes, it was that riveting.

The whole bit about Hal being afraid of…dying like his father did? Not living up to his dad’s legacy? Whatever it was it was pretty lame and kind of melodramatic.

The other story issue I had was with the creation of the yellow ring. Now, I understand why this is important in terms of a sequel, but the way it was introduced was just non –sensical. The Guardians are billions of years old, and have always believed in the power of will as the strongest force in the world. Yet, for absolutely no reason, they decide to do basically nothing about Parallax themselves, and instead let Sinestro create a yellow ring, a ring that harnesses the power of fear, to “fight fear with fear”. Why the hell is that a good idea? They already know what happens to people who try to harness the power of fear, one of their own did it, and he turned into the evil blob Parallax. So why let Sinestro try? It’s almost like they WANT to create another villain…either that or after a billion years dementia is finally setting in.

All in all, the movie was just okay, the effects and CGI were wonderful and I’m glad I got to see all of that on a big screen. I also appreciated an appearance by Amanda Waller, though as soon as she called Abin Sur the first alien they’d ever found I thought “Bitch please you know all about Superman!"

At times the film was interesting, like when addressing the power of will or fear etc, and also really pretty. At other times it was kind of tedious and disjointed. I’d recommend everyone aside from massive Green Lantern fans to wait for this to hit dvd, which I'm sure most of you have decided to do already anyway.


CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

Top Five Upcoming Geek Movies of the Summer

The summer movie season essentially began 6 weeks ago on April 29th with the release of "Fast Five'. Since then, a god of thunder, a group of bridesmaids, a vampire hunting priest, a kung fu panda, Captain Jack Sparrow and the Wolfpack have laid siege on multiplexes everywhere…and we aren't even a week into June.

So here are the top 5 upcoming films, I believe will get the geek juices flowing:

1. X-Men: First Class (6/3)
No Wolverine, no problem. Great cast, good director, and amazing buzz. Placing bets that this is the comic book movie to beat this summer.

2. Super 8 (6/10)
If there is any film that should evoke the feeling of summer sci-fi blockbusters of the '70s & '80s, this should be it. Besides, it's Spielberg and Abrams. This thing reeks Geek.

3. Green Lantern (6/17)
Looks epic. Concerns are that it is another comic book movie starring Ryan Reynolds. Comic book geeks should eat it up. But will the rest of the masses care? GL is kinda of a second tier hero in the DC Universe. Fingers crossed.

4. Captain America: The First Avenger (7/22)
This is the final piece of the Marvel Studios' movie puzzle before next year's Avengers. Not missing it. Don't forget to stay through the end credits kiddies.

5. Cowboys & Aliens (7/29)
Um, Indiana Jones and James Bond vs. aliens in the wild west from the director of Iron Man? Duh.

Honorable mentions:

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part II (7/15)
Even if you haven't read the books or watched the movies you're gonna wanna know how it ends, right?

2. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (8/5)
No Heston, no Marky Mark, just James Franco and WETA digital effects. One of the only sci-fi films of the summer.

3. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (8/26)
It's a Guillermo del Toro produced horror movie. If the movie is half as scary as the trailer, then prepare to wet yourself.

Dishonorable mentions:

1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (7/29)
Why not? Michael Bay, that's why.

2. Conan the Barbarian (8/19)
Simple. No Ahnold, no pay to see.

3. Fright Night (8/19)
Wait, they're rereleasing Disturbia? Cool! NOT. If you haven't already seen it, Netflix the original 1985 Fright Night. Trust me.

Non-American readers you know the drill: month first, date second.

Did I miss a flick? Do you have a compelling geek reason for me to add it to the list? Or do you just disagree with my choices? Let me have it in the comments section below.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE