Dan Harmon to return to COMMUNITY for season 5?

The god of the COMMUNITY universe, Dan Harmon, apparently told the crowd at a recent podcast recording that he's been asked to return as show runner for season 5 of COMMUNITY, which was picked up by NBC earlier this month.

If these reports are accurate, they validate every negative thing I've said about the 4th season (outside of the wonderfully written Jim Rash episode) and my reason to stop reviewing the show.

Network and studio executives don't admit they are wrong. They don't crawl back to someone they fired. When they do, it is because they recognize the talent that made the show work was actually essential.

No reports yet of whether or not Mr. Harmon has decided to return (he may have emotionally moved on for all we know) but let me submit my suggestion for how the 5th season under Dan Harmon could begin.

Abed finds Star-Burns in the shower and realizes not only did he not die (we know he didn't), but that season 4 was a bad dream.

Source 1 | Source 2 | Source 3

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2012-2013 PILOT SEASON - NBC: Review (Fall and mid-season schedule)

NBC may have the fewest viewers but they often have the best shows... that no one watches. In this upcoming season, they have picked up some interesting and some not-so-interesting shows, and at least one potentially great one.

Here are my quicky opinions on each.

Comedies

1600 PENN (mid-season)
A show about what it would be like if the president of the United States had kids who didn't know how to behave themselves properly. It is actually funny (though dumb) and instantly has likable characters. 87 out of 100

ANIMAL PRACTICE (fall)
SCRUBS meets season 2 of BREAKING IN meets animal doctors. It has a few fun moments and I suppose it could become funnier but the pilot is very predictable. A monkey steals the whole episode. 75 out of 100

GO ON (fall)
Horrifically realized show about a man dealing with loss, who ends up in a support group for people dealing with loss. There is virtually nothing original here --and when there is a dash of it, it feels contrived- and Matthew Perry is mostly unlikable in the role. Perhaps it gets better but this was picked up because of the star and nothing more. I can't see any way this will do well unless people really like depressive shows about a dude with a douchie attitude. 50 out of 100

GUYS WITH KIDS (fall)
Lame multi-camera laughtrack show about guys with kids, that is another NBC attempt at making bad CBS type television that interests the masses. I'm not sure the people who watch NBC will find this kind of thing interesting. Though I found it painful to watch, there is some fun chemistry/dialogue between the couple with four kids, but otherwise... lame. 60 out of 100

THE NEW NORMAL (fall)
I guess this is NBC's answer to MODERN FAMILY that has a somewhat ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT feel, about gay men finding a surrogate mother for their baby, with Ellen Barkin as a bigotted grandmother scene-stealer. A very good pilot episode that feels very much like something Ali Adler would write (after writing that I checked... she is one of the creators... man, I'm good). It has potential (though that scene in the park where people talk to the camera like they are making a commercial should be cut). I will be checking it out. 88 out of 100

NEXT CALLER (mid-season)
A show about a satellite radio show. The host is a caveman and the co-host is a liberated woman. Dane Cook's in it so naturally some will flock to it while others will never watch it and claim they saw it anyway and that it sucked. The second group would be closer to the truth. It's just not that funny... or well acted... and lacks likeable characters. 65 out of 100

SAVE ME (mid-season)
When a woman has a near-death (or death) experience with a sandwich, she turns from a psycho alcoholic to a sober and euphoric prophet of god. Very well acted. Too interesting for network TV and will likely die in the ratings because of it. 90 out of 100

Dramas

CHICAGO FIRE (fall)
The opening of this show, about rescue services, is so dumb it should be on CBS. The rest of the episode does get somewhat better but I can't seem to shake the feeling that these guys watched a lot of RESCUE ME and thought to themselves "this would be so much better if it wasn't as much fun!" The fire fighting scenes are exciting but you know subsequent episodes will be filmed for less money and therefor the fire fighting stuff will start to look cheap. 75 out of 100

DO NO HARM (mid-season)
This show is about a doctor who has a split personality problem. One personality is a seemingly nice guy. The other is bad boy who gets laid a lot and hurts people. The two can kind of see/feel the others' perspective but are distinctly different. It has that guy from RESCUE ME in the lead role and that chick from LAW & ORDER. I will be surprised if it does well on NBC. Should be on USA. Still, it is a very interesting show, especially when their worlds collide. 84 out of 100

INFAMOUS (mid-season)
A crime drama where the cop is old friends with the filthy rich people she's investigating. Blahblahblah. So bored. I'm sure someone will find it interesting, just not me. 60 out of 100

REVOLUTION (fall)
WALKING DEAD meets LOST minus the zombies and island. It feels epic. Great acting, music, pacing, writing, cinematography, story and whatever else goes into making a show awesome. Unlike some pilots where you are left thinking "this could be good once they get comfortable telling the story" this one feels excellent from beginning to end. J.J. Abrams (LOST, FRINGE) and Eric Kripke (SUPERNATURAL) may just have created the next big thing. Please, TV gods, let this be successful. 98.4 out of 100

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COMMUNITY 3.05: Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps

The episode following one of the greatest COMMUNITY episodes in the history of history was finally unleashed upon the world and I have a fuck or two to say about it.

Every season, fans anticipate the Halloween episode because this show knocks them out of the park every fuckin' time (Season 1: Introduction to Statistics; Season 2: Epidemiology). But is this the season where they shit all over their previous success and bomb badly?

Yup. And when I say yup, I mean hell the shit no.

See what I did there? Holy hell I am crafty.

Anyway, if you want a review of the episode go the fuck to a site that reviews fuckin' COMMUNITY episodes. But here is my quick take on it. Last week's episode dealt with what would happen were one character missing from a situation. In this one, each character creates the story. I know that these episodes weren't originally intended to run back-to-back but it actually works well like this.

All the stories have their own level of awesomeness, with Annie's story taking the cake for me. Now, let's dive into some of my favorite quotable moments:

Annie looking through Britta's laptop.
Annie: There's nothing in your playlist but Spooky Party, the Beetlejuice soundtrack, and NPR podcasts.
Britta: (excitedly) Oooh we could listen to one of those! I have Michele Norris interviewing Errol Morris. Don't worry, they address it!

Upon seeing Jeff, Annie laughs at his costume.
Jeff: What? I'm one of the "Fast and Furious" guys.
Abed: Which one?
Jeff: Oh I don't know. I don't watch that shallow crap. I just pick a costume girls will like.

Discussing some personality tests given to the group, or something.
Britta: Look! One of the tests came back with 70 out of 75 red flags for an extreme personality disorder. EXTREME, Jeff!
Jeff: Like a Dorito?!
Britta: A sociopathic Dorito. A cool ranch lunatic! Only instead of zest, Jeff, one member of our study group has... homicidal tendencies!

Britta's Story - Jeff and Britta make out in a car out in some spooky far-off woods, an announcer on the radio alerts them.
Announcer: In the news tonight, top story, an escaped convict from the asylum has escaped and he's mental and he's on the loose and stuff.
Britta: Oh my god! That sounds dangerous.
Jeff: Oh, I'm sure it's no biggy. But I am a horny man. I'm only half present.
Announcer: He was last seen in the woods and has a thingy for a hand. A hook thing where his hand should be, you know what I mean.

Abed's Story - Abed and Britta arrive in a quaint log cabin.
Abed: (speaking very quickly) Here we are. The log cabin I rented so we could be intimate in safety. Because it's not the '50s so we don't have to park a car and neck at Inspiration Point.
Britta: That makes sense. I'm turned on by how logical you are.
Abed: I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry. Well, I just brushed my teeth so this would be the optimal time to kiss. (they kiss) Enjoyable. Soft lips. Just the right level of moisture.
Britta: Would you like to do it again?
Abed: No. We should listen to the news on this radio. I brought it as a cautionary measure because this cabin is within walking distance of the local insane asylum.
Britta: Oh, is that why you were able to rent this at such a reasonable rate?
Abed: Yes.
Britta: I hope you are as fertile as I am tonight.
Abed: More (turns on the radio).

Annie's Story - Jeff pulls Britta out of a closet revealing her to be his slutwhore, or something.
Britta: Do not judge me for my weakness.
Jeff: Stifle your slackened maw you drained and tainted bitch dog (sucks her blood).
Britta: I'm fine with this.
Annie starts to run out in horror.
Jeff: (dropping Britta on the floor) Wait! (Annie stops and turns around) Teach me to read!
Annie: Awwww!

Troy's Story - Troy carries Abed into a cabin, meeting a mad-doctor looking Pierce.
Troy: Oh thank god, an old doctor. Me and my partner are Top Gun fighter pilots, the best of the best.
Abed: (weakly whispering) Pewpewpew.
Troy: Our F-15 went down in the woods.
Pierce: I thought I heard something awesome out there. Please, come in for first aid and what have you.

Later, after Troy and Abed turn the tables on evil Pierce...
Abed: We sewed your butt to your chest!
Pierce: Noooo! Wait! Hah, you fools! By sewing my butt to my chest you've given me boobs I can touch all day.

Pierce's Story - Britta, Annie, and Shirley are the sex goddesses to Pierce's Hugh Hefner. Troy and Abed barge into the cabin looking racistly gangsta.
Troy: (pointing a gun at Pierce) Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! Whats we gots heres?!
Abed: This a home invasion you jive mutha!

This story is short but the best part is when Pierce whips his elephant size cock out and knocks Troy out with it.

Shirley's Story - The gang, minus Pierce and Shirley, partying in the cabin doing weed and whatever crazy kids do when they get hammered. Britta walks out, then walks back in covered in blood.
Britta: Uh, it's like New York out there.
The radio comes to life.
Announcer: We interrupt your death metal to bring you some heavy news. All the good Christians got Raptured up to heaven so if you're hearing this the good news is, you're the coolest people in the world.
Gang: (happily) Yes!
Announcer: The bad news is, the world is over.

After the Devil Dean shows up and assaults the gang, Angel Shirley shows up all sparkly in white.
Jeff: Woah, look! It's our friend we used to pick on for being Christian!

After Shirley blows Devil Dean away.
Britta: Thank you for saving us, Shirley! I mean, your name's not Shirley. This is a story about strangers. Anywho! Can you take us to heaven now, please?
Angel Shirley: Ooh, I cannot. I just came to say goodbye on my way to Abraham's bosom. Bye! I forgive yoooouuuu.
Devil Dean: (breaking into the cabin with a chainsaw) Hahahaha! Gay marriage!

Back in the real world.
Shirley: And he chainsawed them to bits! Then he put them back together. And then he chainsawed them again! Forever.

At the end of the episode we find out that Britta Britta'd the results and that there isn't one sociopath in the group, but one sane person. The group decides not to find out who that is... but we are told it is Abed. This was the only moment in the episode I didn't think was necessary. Especially since we already knew that! Feels like something the network asked for, but I could be wrong.

Anyway, if last week's episode was a 98 out of 100, this one deserves...

96 out of 100!

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Chuck You Tuesday - Episode 79 THE END, aka Geek Furious the Poopcast #5

IT IS OVER!!!!

We record the final episode EVER of Chuck You Tuesday. We then ignore the entire premise of CYT and do a Geek Furious Poopcast because we can.  Oh, spoilers for season 5 are in there.  Some major ones.  Some not.  I don't warn people when they are coming so don't listen.  Or listen, I don't care.

We talk DOWNTON ABBEY, MISFITS, CHUCK, COMMUNITY, etcetcetc and so on. Vulgarity all over the place. If you are easily offended, or even if you are not, don't listen.

RIGHT CLICK TO SAVE if you want the MP3 version of this thing.

Otherwise subscribe to this podcast on iTunes by clicking this link... and... cross your fingers and hope it works.

OR PRESS PLAY BELOW!!!!


P.S.

If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.

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COMMUNITY 3.04: Remedial Chaos Theory... oh the madness!

Last night's killer episode brought us not one, not two, not three, not.... BUT SEVEN TIMELINES of awesomeness! This was easily the best episode of season 3 and arguably (we shall let time decide these things) a top 3 episode of the series.

There has been some debate between critics, fans, and douchefucks who smear monkey shit all over their bodies before putting their come-stained pudgy donut-grasping sausage-sized fingers on their perpetually sticky-from-projectile-launching-sweat-gland-deposits and opine their diabetic-coma diatribe all over the Internet assclowns, about the quality of this latest season. The writers answered that debate with a nuclear bomb of genius!

Let's cut to the chase, the episode is based around a party at Troy and Abed's new apartment. The study group members show up and eventually the pizza guy rings the doorbell. Jeff, in his infinite manipulative laziness, comes up with a way to decide who has to go downstairs to receive the yummies, by rolling a single dice. Seven people around a table... six sided dice? Hmmmm. Oh, Jeff!

As Jeff starts to roll, Abed points out that he is creating six different timelines. Jeff mocks the notion and rolls. The show then takes us on this epic ride!

Note: first timeline is not bolded since it is the first time happening. Subsequent timelines have bolded text to indicate a change from Timeline 1 or a significant change in the other timelines. Italics are used when a change in the timeline created a small change or when the timeline sequences have been exited.

Timeline 1 - Roll is 2: Annie
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Troy finds Annie's gun in her purse; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Shirley brings the pies to the table; Britta comes out of the bathroom and Abed is waiting in front of the door, and tells her that it smells weird inside; Annie arrives with the pizza and Britta rushes dramatically over to the food; Annie mentions that the pizza guy was super creepy.

Timeline 2 - Roll is 4: Shirley
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Jeff reminds everyone to not eat Shirley's pies; Jeff says he doesn't like being the bad guy, then as Britta starts to sing, he stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Jeff talks about not enabling Shirley's baking; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Troy is horrified to find the gift is a troll statue; Jeff laughs, then gets up and is hit in the head by the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie offers to look at the injury in the bathroom; Britta and Abed are ending their conversation in the bathroom; Shirley shows up with the pizzas; Britta rushes dramatically over to the food; Shirley asks if anyone remembered to take out her pies; Shirley pulls out her pies and they are all burnt; Jeff tells her she is not allowed to have baking things as an identity; Shirley yells at the group and storms out; upon slamming the door, the rolling rock in the Indiana Jones miniature begins to roll; Abed catches the rolling rock.

Timeline 3 - Roll is 3: Pierce
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Annie tells Troy she loves his place and that he's "all grown up now"; Jeff mocks Troy's maturity and Annie laughs with him; Troy gets up in anger and hits the Indiana Jones miniature, releasing the rock; Abed catches the rolling rock; Britta has her head out of the bathroom window smoking a marijuana cigarette when Troy knocks; Troy enters the bathroom and tells Britta he is a man; Annie tells Jeff he is a bit hard on Troy; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan; Annie offers to look at the injury in the bathroom; Abed tells them that Britta is in the bathroom; Annie and Jeff enter the kitchen where Shirley is taking out her pies; Annie and Jeff flirt and Shirley offers pie as a remedy which Jeff saarcastically shoots down; Britta and Troy talk about why Jeff is mean to him and that Jeff has a guarded personality; Pierce returns with the pizzas and mentions how unattractive the pizza guy was; Britta and Troy share a happy moment together while everyone else notices their bond and are puzzled.

Timeline 4 - Roll is 6: Britta
Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Abed remains at the table with Jeff, Troy, and Annie; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie takes Jeff into the bathroom to look at his injury; Troy and Abed have a friendly conversation; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming" gift; Jeff and Annie talk about her safety and how much Jeff cares about her; Troy screams and Jeff and Annie rush into the livingroom to find Pierce holding the troll, taunting a terrified Troy; Shirley interjects, followed by Abed commenting on why Pierce is behaving this way, and Pierce calls Abed crazy; Britta shows up with the pizza guy and tells the group they are in love and getting married.

Timeline 5 - Roll is 1: Troy
Troy rushes out of the apartment and slams the door, starting the rolling rock in the Indiana Jones miniature, Roxanne by the Police is already playing; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom; the rolling rock falls to the floor; Shirley checks on her personal sized pies; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Abed shows her where it is; Jeff gets up and hits is head in the ceiling fan, Pierce laughs; Annie tells Jeff she will look at his injury in the bathroom; as Annie begins to walk she trips over the rolling rock, her purse goes flying as she falls on a nearby table and launches the content of the table onto the floor, breaking a bottle of alcohol; Pierce kicks the "housewarming gift" as the gun in Annie's purse fires, hitting Pierce in the thigh; Annie tries to apply first aid to Pierce as blood spurts out of his leg, hitting Shirley in the torso and face as she walks into the room with her pies; Britta comes rushing out of the bathroom with a lit marijuana cigarette in her mouth, opens her mouth wide in shock at what she sees and the cigarette falls onto the alcohol spill and lights on fire; the gift box is set on fire and Jeff tries to put out the apartment fire; Troy walks in with the pizzas and sees the carnage, then notices the now burnt box contains the troll he fears and reacts in horror.

Timeline 6 - Roll is 5: Abed
Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Abed tells everyone he needs money for the pizzas; Pierce talks about having sex with Eartha Kitt; Shirley checks on her pies without saying so; Britta starts to sing and Jeff stops her; Britta asks to use the bathroom and Troy tells her it is down the hall; Jeff hits his head and Annie offers to look at it in the bathroom but Troy reminds her that Britta is in there; as Britta smokes, Annie and Jeff go into the kitchen where Shirley has just taken out her pies; Britta comes out of the bathroom and asks what smells so amazing; Shirkey excitedly reacts by taking the pies to Britta and letting her eat one; Pierce gives Troy a "housewarming gift"; Troy thanks Pierce and then expresses his gratitude over letting him stay with Pierce when he was without a place to live, while Shirley expressed to Britta that she feels baking is her only value to the group and Jeff tells Annie he worries about her; Pierce, feeling guilty, tries to prevent Troy from opening the gift; Britta mistakenly confesses that the group made a pact not to eat Shirley's pies, and that she is high, while Annie and Jeff kiss in the kitchen; Pierce and Troy fight over the gift while Britta and Shirley argue about drugs and pies, while Jeff and Annie kiss; Annie admits something Jeff said reminded her of her dad and Jeff judges her on lip-gloss use; Troy sees the troll and yells at Pierce to die alone, as Abed shows up with the pizzas.

Timeline 7 - Roll is stopped by Abed
Abed gives a speech about randomness/chaos etc, talking about everyone in the group and then pointing out the Jeff's system of choosing who goes for pizza made it so he never has to go; Jeff proudly laughs as the group reacts with different levels of disgust; Britta puts on Roxanne by the Police; Jeff goes to get the pizzas and says "Like it matters who goes", then hits his head on the ceiling fan as everyone laughs; Troy uses airplane bathroom as a metaphor for Jeff but Pierce does not take the opportunity to talk about Eartha Kitt; Shirley goes to get her pies; Britta sings Roxanne and the group joins her in dancing and singing; Pierce tosses the "housewarming gift" out of the window; Jeff returns with the pizzas and notes that the fun the group is having is what happens when he is not around, then eats pizza while he watches the group have fun.

Episode Ending - Based on Timeline 5
Pierce is dead; Annie is in a mental hospital; Jeff is missing an arm; Shirley is an alcoholic; Troy is missing his larynx and has a voice box; Britta has a blue streak in her hair; Abed discusses how they can go to the prime timeline and make their evil selves part of the prime; Jeff storms out with Britta and Shirley.

Exit Timelines
Troy and Abed are sitting in their pajamas in their apartment watching television and eating popcorn; Abed is aware that something is different but doesn't know what, then dismisses the feeling.

So what does it all mean? Apparently Jeff is the personality that stifles their fun. Troy and Britta are one talk away from either a great friendship or falling for each other. Annie has a father-like crush on Jeff, who himself is hot for her but doesn't want the obvious attraction reasons to be so obvious. Pierce still wants to be appreciated. Shirley feels like an outsider and tries too hard to seem significant to the group. Abed is a genius... but we already knew that!

What did you think? What did you take away from the episode?

Oh and if I had to rate it...

98 out of 100!

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Wonder Woman Pilot: Tit Marketing

Writer: Multipass

Wonder Woman gets upset when you don't ask permission to market her tits!

I got my hands on the "Wonder Woman" unaired pilot episode last week. The show was planning on being picked up by NBC in the fall, and they supposedly spent millions and millions of dollars on it. They even shut down the massively busy intersection at Hollywood and Highland in downtown Hollywood to shoot an action sequence. But despite all that, NBC definitely made the right decision not to pick this show up for the fall season.

The entire episode has this strange feeling to it. The only way to describe it is that I felt like I had taken two benadryl before I watched it. And I didn't understand most of the decisions that were made concerning the structure of the story. Wonder Woman is the public superhero persona of Diana Greeklastname. Diana Greeksomething is basically a poor man's Tony Stark. She has maybe half his charisma and almost none of his sense of humor. Like Stark/Ironman, she is a bazillionaire who owns a corporation, and everyone knows she is Wonder Woman. But the writers also give Diana GreekyGreek another alias, as Diana Prince, a lonely boring girl with no friends only a cat, who wears glasses and her hair in a ponytail. This ENTIRE alter ego is to show us that she is secretly sad and lonely.

Um okay, not sure why she needs this alter ego, considering she has friends and had a relationship as Diana Greekopolis, and her ex knew and knows she is a hero...so what is the issue? Oh right, the issue with them is she is afraid that he will get hurt by being close to her. She and Smallville should have a mopey idiot contest. (He would win)

Our first introduction to Wonder Woman is pretty lame. The chase wasn't that exciting, she looks like a girl in a costume running down Hollywood Blvd. After she catches the baddie, we find out Wonder Woman apparently works kind of with the government and police, but not really, or something. I really wasn't clear about how that dynamic worked, but they seemed to refer to it a lot. I also didn't understand why Wonder Woman was running around breaking people's arms, syringing them in the neck, and killing them. I mean...Wonder Woman isn't some dark tortured hero...she's a Justice League member! I really don't think Superman and the gang would be cool with this, and I'm not either. Basically she gets away with murder as long as everything works out. That's not very superhero-y.

I had a few doubts about the casting. The actress who played Wonder Woman/Diana Greekanakis/Diana Prince seems to have some SERIOUS trouble looking angry. But she did look wonderful in the starry underoos, which work SO MUCH BETTER than those dumb pants. I did enjoy seeing Cary Elwes because...well who doesn't? I also thought Elizabeth Hurley did a wonderful job with a very weak villain. The villain story wasn't very compelling, but she really chewed up the scenery and was really the only actor who seemed to be enjoying herself.

I think what NBC should have pushed for, right from the beginning, was a lot more tongue and cheek humor, a lot more ass kicking, and a much clearer story. The pilot just didn't feel like the show was going anywhere new. Too bad WB shelved their potential Wonder Woman feature for this project, and now have nothing to show us of one of DC Comics' most recognizable heroes.

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