CHUCK 91 - 1.04: Chuck Versus the Wookiee

The fourth episode of the series introduces Sarah's troublesome friend, Carina.


In the article, a "SCENE" number is determined by the writer of the article but should be when a location is changed, or a part of a location is changed, or when the main characters change at a location. Descriptions of the scene will be in italics. Actions by the character within the dialogue will be noted in parentheses. Comments by the article writer will be in brackets (such as when dialogue can't be understood).

And now, presenting episode 4 of 91:

CHUCK VERSUS THE WOOKIEE

SCENE 1
Chuck, Sarah, Morgan, Ellie and Awesome are eating pizza and playing a game which involves getting points for correctly answering personal information about your partner. Awesome correctly answers a question about Ellie and we get the impression they have been winning the game. It’s Chuck’s turn to ask a question to Sarah.
Chuck: Okay, easy, my all-time favorite pet.
Sarah: Ummmmmm. Cocker spaniel. Peaches.
Chuck and Sarah celebrate her correct answer. Morgan intervenes.
Morgan: Wrong. Incorrect. It was a springer spaniel named “Peaches II”, not to be confused with the original Peaches, who got hit by a car.
Chuck looks surprised.
Ellie: I think we can just give it to Sarah, Morgan.
Chuck: (to Ellie) You told me the original Peaches ran away.
Ellie: (lying) She did. She did.
While Morgan is asking a question to Chuck about his humiliating childhood nickname, the perspective switches briefly to someone looking in the window.
Chuck: I promised Morgan I would never say it out loud. (Morgan gives him permission). Okay. Organ.
While Morgan celebrates, Chuck notices Sarah removing olives from her pizza. It’s Sarah’s turn to ask a question of Chuck.
Sarah: Most dangerous situation ever.
Chuck clears his throat while obviously thinking about Sarah’s real profession.
Chuck: Fixing a flat tire on the freeway?
She holds up a sign that says “Sunburn. Ouch.”
Sarah: I was nine and we were on a family vacation and my sister and I put on baby oil instead of sunscreen.
The view switches again to someone watching through the window. Inside, Sarah notices something and looks at the window. Chuck gets a card that he doesn’t like.
Chuck: OK, most hated person ever.
Everyone seems to know the answer except Sarah. Sarah: Harry Tang?
Everyone shakes their head. Chuck is forgiving.
Morgan: It’s Bryce Larkin. How could you not know Bryce Larkin? He pretended to be his buddy, sexed up his girl and got him kicked out of Stanford. If Chuck is Solo, Larkin is his Fett.

SCENE 2
Chuck and Sarah are leaving the apartment, saying goodbye to Ellie and holding hands like a real couple. Once they are sure no one is watching, they let go.
Chuck: We did great tonight.
Sarah: Yeah, I like to win, but Morgan clearly has an edge.
As Chuck is talking about Morgan, the perspective switches that of someone watching them.
Sarah: He’s like the Intersect on you.
Chuck: Wish I could access your file and know everything there is to know about you, but the stupid thing doesn’t really work like that.
Sarah: Well, you could always ask me.
Chuck: Really…ummmm…okay… ummm…well, I know that you and Bryce worked together, but how close were the two of you exactly?
Sarah: Uh, well, Bryce was my partner, but, we were never really friends if that’s what you’re asking.
Chuck: Right. So, your relationship was like “hey, you go get that bad guy." Or, “nice judo chop.” Or “how ‘bout those Redskins.” Or something like that?
Sarah: (a little uncomfortable) Well, you know, when you’re undercover you’re still you, but the details are different.
The perspective switches again to that of someone watching them.
Chuck: Well, speaking of details, some of those questions, we could’ve done better with.
Sarah: Which ones?
Chuck: (uncomfortable) You know those questions.
Sarah: Sex questions?
Chuck: There you go.
Sarah: Morgan did good with those too.
Chuck: Well, what exactly is our cover for that topic?
Sarah: Uh, (pause) We’re taking it slow.
Chuck: Right. Yeah. We’re being prudent. Aren’t we?
They hear a noise and are on alert until they see it’s Morgan. He's apologetic.
Morgan: Oh, you meant walk Sarah to her car. Makes sense. I don’t have a car.

SCENE 3
Sarah is in her hotel room feeding her goldfish. There is still a feeling of someone stalking her. She turns on the shower and sees the reflection of a dark figure in the faucet. She grabs the soap and puts in her stocking, turning it into a weapon that she swings at the masked intruder. An intense fight proceeds—Sarah in a skimpy robe vs. the black-clothed opponent. Glass goes flying, including the goldfish bowl. Eventually, despite a bloody nose, Sarah gets the upper hand and pulls the hood from her combatant. It's a woman.
Sarah: I knew it was you. You always telegraph your punch.
Carina: Your bloody nose says otherwise.
Sarah: Your cover?
Carina: Carina. You?
Sarah: Sarah. Sarah Walker.
Carina: So, Sarah Walker, what brings the CIA to Los Angeles?
Sarah: The same thing that brings the DEA agent like yourself. A job.
Carina: Well, whatever it is, it’s boring.
Carina explains that her mission involves stealing a diamond and Sarah can help.
Sarah: Well, couldn’t you have just called?

[OPENING CREDITS]

SCENE 4
Chuck exits his apartment and sees Carina standing the courtyard. It initiates a flash, which freaks him a little.

SCENE 5
Chuck enters Casey’s apartment and alerts him and Sarah that an undercover DEA agent is in the courtyard. They know. They are having a video conference. Chuck sees General Beckman and Director Graham for the first time.
Chuck: Are they with us?
Casey: Shhhhhhhh.
Their mission is to help Carina “acquire” a diamond from Payman Alahi, an interational financier with the opium cartel, from his Malibu compound. They’re told to take Chuck so he can “flash” on the alarm system. Sarah has concerns.
Sarah: We can’t trust her. Chuck is way too valuable.
The director says the window is short. Casey is concerned, too.
Casey: I’ve had dealings with Carina, too. She can be a bit of a wild card.
Graham: We’re all aware of what happened in Prague, Agent Casey. (Sarah is smiling) Which is why you and agent Walker return the diamond to us and under no circumstances should Carina be entrusted with it.
Chuck: What happened in Prague? (silence) I don’t need to know.

SCENE 6
They join Carina in the courtyard.
Carina: Hello, Casey, nice to see you with your pants on.
When Carina asks who Chuck is, Sarah says he’s an analyst. Morgan shows up and Sarah introduces him to Carina. Smitten, he kisses her hand.

SCENE 7
At the Buy More, Morgan is telling Jeff and Lester about his encounter with Carina, embellishing it as if it was the start of a great romance. Chuck brings it down by saying Carina called Morgan “Martin”, but Morgan doesn't care. Morgan walks away.
Jeff: Morgan wasn’t made to mix with the female gender, unlike me.
Lester: (to Chuck) How do you get any female friction action with him third-wheeling you all the time?
Chuck: What does that even mean?
Lester: Sex.
Chuck: Can’t you just say that?
Lester: Yeah, I could. It lacks (beat) flavor.

SCENE 8
Sarah is with Carina at the Wienerlicious trying to find out why Sarah is in Burbank and what Chuck’s role is.
Carina: What is he analyzing? You?
Sarah: Our cover is boyfriend/girlfriend.
Carina: Speaking of…sorry to hear about Bryce.
Sarah softens up and smiles.
Sarah: Thanks. It’s been hard
Carina: Of course, getting dead is an occupational hazard. (Sarah gets serious again) So, what’s the assignment here anyway?
Sarah: It’s top secret.
Carina: So, I guess I’ll just talk to Chuck myself.
Sarah: That’s not happening either.
Carina exits. Sarah pursues, but is stopped by her Wienerlicious boss.

SCENE 9
Carina enters the Buy More. Morgan approaches her, but she doesn’t remember him. While Morgan re-introduces himself, her attention is on trying to find Chuck. Jeff and Lester are watching from the Nerd Herd desk.
Jeff: She is way too good for him.
Lester: She’s too good for the store. Is there a nicer establishment where beautiful people can shop?
Chuck arrives and is surprised to see Carina. Morgan begs Chuck to fix him up with Carina. Chuck is reluctant. Sarah has arrived and is arguing with Carina. After a lot of begging from Morgan, Chuck agrees to try to fix him up. He takes Sarah aside.
Chuck: I need to ask you a favor and feel free to say “no”. And by that I mean “say no”. But, could you fix Morgan up with Carina? (Sarah looks around. They are being watched intensely. Her mind is working.) Make sure you exaggerate “No”, so they can lip read it. They’re a little lame, but I think they can crack “No”.
Sarah: You know, that is a great idea.
Chuck: No, it’s not! "No" is the answer!
Sarah tells Carina that if she wants her help, she has to double-date with Morgan.
Carina: Small price to pay. Which one of these geeks is Morgan?
Sarah points him out. Carina gives Morgan a smile. He is giddy. Chuck is flabbergasted that Sarah did this.


SCENE 10
Chuck, Sarah, Morgan, and Carina are at Chuck’s hanging out.
Carina: (to Chuck and Sarah) You guys are so cute. You’re like the cutest couple ever.
Chuck: Thanks. We’re doin’ good.
Sarah: (moves closer to Chuck) I think we’re doing VERY good, sweetie.
Carina asks how they met. Morgan tells them the story of meeting at the Buy More.
Sarah: So do you guys want to watch a movie or something?
Chuck: Good idea! (Sarah caresses his neck) Sweetie.
Morgan disagrees about watching the movie. He wants to know more about Carina. Carina is flirting like crazy with Morgan.
Morgan: Were you always this hot or did your recently find your hotness?
Carina: You’re so cute.

SCENE 11
Chuck and Morgan are opening pizza in the kitchen.
Morgan: Man, dude, Carina is really into me.
Chuck: Seems that way, doesn’t it.
Morgan: What does that mean?
Chuck: What?
Morgan: The way you said that. “Seems”. Why wouldn’t she be into me?
Chuck: No, no, I’m sure she’s into you.

SCENE 12
Sarah with Carina in living room.
Sarah: You, know you don’t have to be so ‘hands on’ with Morgan.
Carina: You said I was on a date. This is me on a date.
Sarah: You’re going to give him the wrong idea.
Carina: Oh, come on. I’m just giving the kid a thrill. I mean this place is like if a yawn could yawn. How do you stand it?
Sarah: I’m good here.
Carina: Yeah, right.

SCENE 13
The four are watching a boring penguin movie. Morgan tries to get information about where Carina’s traveled to, but Chuck keeps shushing him and tells him "Argentina". This gets Carina’s attention. Morgan makes his move and asks if she wants to go be alone.

SCENE 14
Chuck’s trying to sleep, but Morgan keeps calling to ask if Carina called about him. Chuck gets so frustrated that on the next call he starts yelling, but it’s actually a Nerd Herd call to come fix a computer.

SCENE 15
Hotel room. Chuck knocks and Carina answers in a sexy outfit. There's no computer to fix. She just wants to pump him for information and try to seduce him. She strips down to her underwear and gets very close. Chuck nervously wants Sarah to be there.
Carina: If Sarah were here, I couldn’t seduce you, unless you’re into that sort of thing. (Chuck gulps a glass of champagne)…or maybe I’m wrong and you’re already sleeping with Sarah. Are you sleeping with Sarah?
Chuck: A gentleman never…
Carina: (assumes that means ‘no’) Oh, got it. Well, that makes sense considering Bryce.
Chuck: Bryce? Bryce? What are you talking about?
Carina: What, you don’t know about Bryce? Bryce Larkin? Her boyfriend.
Chuck is in shock.

SCENE 16
The Weinerlicious. Chuck is barely paying attention as Sarah tries to brief him about the mission to find the diamond, but not steal it. Sarah notices something’s wrong with Chuck, but he denies it. Sarah’s adds one more piece of advice.
Sarah: Carina is not to be trusted
Chuck: (instant relief) Oh, Sarah. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.
Sarah: Why?
Chuck: Well, Carina said something last night…
Sarah: …last night? (Chuck explains) What did she tell you? (her Wienerlicious boss tries to get Sarah back to work, but fails) What did she say?
Chuck: It doesn’t matter if it’s not true.
Sarah: Just tell me.
Chuck: Something about Bryce and you. You know. Being together.
Wienerlicious boss: (interrupting) I’m sure whatever you lovebirds are discussing is a matter of national security, but the catsup vat isn’t going to refill itself.
Sarah: (confronting him) Did you know 55% of accidents occur in the kitchen? And I’m sure most of them are accidents.
Chuck ponders Sarah’s reaction to his question. She sits down again.
Chuck: It’s not true, right? You and Bryce. That’s not true. Right?
Sarah: It was complicated.
Chuck: (angry) I thought you were supposed to be good at lying.
He leaves.

SCENE 17
Payman’s Malibu compound. It's a pool party. Chuck complains that the white suit they gave him makes his boxers visible through his pants.
Carina: Well, I think you look very sexy. (she’s very ‘handsy’ as Sarah watches) I’m sure Sarah’s warned you about me. That I improvise…take risks?
Chuck: She might have mentioned something about that.
Carina brags about her arrest record and asks Chuck to trust her. She points out who Payman is. He’s an incredibly scrawny and hairy man in a Speedo surrounded by babes.
Chuck: Are you talking about Señor Wookiee over there?
Carina: Just grab a drink and look casual.
Chuck goes off. Sarah approaches and discusses the security, but then changes the subject.
Sarah: Why did you tell him about Bryce? You compromised my cover.
Carina: We’re on a mission here, Sarah. Try keeping you private life and work life separate for a change.
Sarah approaches Chuck. He tells her about the security cameras he’s spotted, identifying them in detail.
Sarah: Did you have a flash?
Chuck: No, they sell them in the spy shop at the Buy More plaza.

SCENE 18
Casey is outside disguised as a limo driver. A guard asks him for a light and Casey advises him on the dangers of smoking.

SCENE 19
Chuck, Sarah, and Carina break into the house.
Chuck: So, I guess if this was you and Bryce, we’d be breaking into the bedroom.
Sarah: Chuck, now is not the time.
They find the room with the diamond, but are discovered by Peyman and his guards. Sarah and Carina act like party girls who got lost with their brother. Payman sends the guards away and puts his arms around the girls. Carina gets him to reveal what would happen if they tried to steal the diamond: gas, guards, death. While Sarah distracts him by asking about the art outside the room, Chuck has a flash.
Chuck: The guy wearing the furry sweater failed to mention one significant security detail.
Carina: Like what?
Chuck: Twenty thousand volts of electricity protecting the stone.
Carina: Problematic. How are you going to fix that?
Chuck: You’re asking me?
Carina: Yeah. Sarah told me you’re supposed to have this really big brain.
Chuck suggests compressed air to knock it off the pedestal and finds a fire extinguisher. Carina “improvises” and uses it immediately. Chuck catches the flying diamond. Alarms goes off. Carina slides under the lowering door as Sarah yells at her. Chuck manages to get out, too. Sarah and Carina lead the charge to escape, dispensing with various guards, arguing with one another as they do so. Chuck follows. Sarah calls Casey to meet them on the beach. Casey grabs a Hummer.

SCENE 20
Carina, Chuck and Sarah get to the beach with guards still in pursuit. Carina tries to convince them to give her the diamond and separate, but Sarah disagrees.
Carina: Chuck, trust me.
Sarah: (to Chuck) Remember what I said.
Chuck: Oh, yeah, which lie are you referring to? It’s so hard to keep track these days.
Chuck tosses the diamond to Carina, who presses a button on her watch and a jet ski appears from nowhere. She escapes.

SCENE 21
Chuck and Sarah are still on the beach as guards approach. Fortunately, Casey drives up and picks them up.

SCENE 22
Sarah is angry at Chuck inside the Hummer.
Sarah: I have to be able to trust you on a mission, Chuck, no matter you’re feeling about me personally.
Chuck: How was I supposed to know she would have a remote-controlled Jet Ski. It’s not usually an option in real life.
Sarah: Our orders were to bring the diamond in, Chuck.
Chuck asks what she will do with it. Casey explains that Carina will probably use it to advance her career. Sarah is changing into her Wienerlicious uniform in the backseat because she has to get to her shift. Carina calls to gloat, but Casey gets a trace on her phone. Chuck tries to sneak a peek of Sarah’s cleavage in the rear view mirror.
Casey: Eyes up front, soldier.

SCENE 23
Carina arrives at her hotel. Morgan is in the lobby with flowers, but she walks past him.

SCENE 24
Carina packs quickly in her hotel room. From the window, she sees Casey arrive. She rushes out.

SCENE 25
Morgan is exiting the elevator as Carina gets to it. Seeing Casey approach, she grabs Morgan and kisses him. She drops the diamond into his shoulder bag. She breaks off the kiss and tells Morgan she’s getting over a relationship and can’t be with him. She pushes him back into the elevator and sends it down as Casey gets to her.

SCENE 26
In Carina’s room, Casey looks for the diamond. Carina swears she doesn’t have it. She strips out of her clothes, daring him to search her.

SCENE 27
Chuck’s back at work near Lester. Sarah approaches saying she hasn’t heard from Casey and will go check Carina’s hotel. She also tells him to stay home tonight.
Chuck: You don’t want my help?
Sarah: Not tonight.
Chuck: So, I’m off the team?
Sarah: No, Chuck. Just benched. But, we’re going to have to talk about what happened.
She leaves. Chuck is crestfallen.
Lester: Ooh, someone got a headache tonight.
Chuck: Yeah, that would be me.

SCENE 28
Chuck is playing videogames at home. Morgan joins him. Chuck tells him about the fight with Sarah and Morgan tells Chuck about Carina kissing and dumping him.
Morgan: If our relationships don’t work out, it’s okay ’cause we got each other, don’t we?
Chuck: That’s really, really sad.
Morgan: I know.

SCENE 29
Sarah breaks into Carina’s hotel room and finds Casey bound and gagged to the bed wearing just his underwear.
Sarah: Wow, just like Prague, huh?
She takes a picture with her phone.

SCENE 30
Chuck finds the diamond in Morgan's messenger bag while looking for a videogame and flashes.

SCENE 31
Chuck calls Sarah to tell her about the diamond. It’s not a drug diamond. It belongs to a Afghani terrorist group. On the other end of the call, Sarah has a gun trained on her by Payman and some guards.
Sarah: Chuck, find Carina and tell her to bring me the diamond. Please.

SCENE 32
Chuck is yelling to Morgan from the kitchen that he has to leave. A masked figure appears.
Chuck: Listen. Go ahead and take whatever you want. I keep a little cash in my sock drawer. By little, I mean spare change.
The masked person motions for Chuck to give them something. Chuck thinks it’s the pizza. The stranger indicates the diamond. Chuck can’t give that. Chuck tries to run, but is blocked. He tosses the pizza plate and hits the intruder on the head. From the “ouch”, he recognizes Carina.
Carina: Fine, it’s me. The mask is so Martin won’t ID me. Now, give me the diamond.
Chuck: Wait. No, no, no. I need your help. Sarah’s in trouble.
Carina insists Sarah can take care of herself. Chuck’s in disbelief she won’t help her friend.
Carina: You know this thing we have? We’re all in it for ourselves. It’s what we do.
Chuck: That’s not what Sarah does.
Chuck guilts her about how Sarah saved her in Pakistan.
Chuck: With or without you, I’m going to save Sarah.
Carina relents and leaves. Chuck follows her as Morgan is yelling for pizza.

SCENE 33
Sarah is being handcuffed by Payman and is taken from the hotel room. Casey is still cuffed to the bed. The goon who asked Casey for a light earlier blows cigar smoke into Casey’s face.

SCENE 34
Chuck and Carina are at her trunk as she chooses weapons.
Carina: I don’t get it, Chuck. I thought you and Sarah were on the outs. Chuck: I made a mistake. I’m still getting used to how you guys have to lie about who you are.
Carina: You analysts don’t know what it’s like for us field agents. It’s our job. We shed identities like other people shed clothes.
Chuck: In your case, that’s quite often.
Carina: Try ‘em on. Like them or leave them. After a while, it doesn’t even matter.
Chuck: So, you don’t let anyone know who you really are?
Carina: Can’t. You might have to leave them in five minutes. Or shoot them in the head. Trust me. A spy doesn’t want you to know anything about them that’s real. No matter who you are.

SCENE 35
In the hotel hallway, Carina tells Chuck to hold the diamond and prepares him for the mission.
Carina: If we’re still alive afterwards, why don’t we go up to my room?
Chuck: (slightly flustered) I’m still working on the “still alive” part.

SCENE 36
Casey breaks the headboard he’s cuffed to and takes out the guard.

SCENE 37
Carina and Chuck meet Payman and his men with a captured Sarah in the lobby. Carina is playing it coy about giving up the diamond, but the inexperienced Chuck is willing to do so. Carina grabs the diamond from him and dares them to take the diamond from her. Payman reveals the entire lobby is working for him.
Payman: What are you going to do? Fight us all? All by yourself?
Sarah: She’s not by herself.
Sarah and Carina talk to each other in a foreign language. In unison, they start fighting. Carina knocks Chuck away. He ends up under a table. The diamond goes flying and ends up in his hand.

SCENE 38
Casey is coming down the elevator, still cuffed to a piece of the headboard. A mother and her daughter are wary of him.

SCENE 39
While Sarah and Carina are fighting, Chuck escapes to the hotel’s business center and locks himself in. The bad guy will break in in any second. Chuck gets an idea and grabs a Fedex box, types out a label, and puts the diamond inside. A bad guy breaks in. Chuck threatens to throw the box down the mail shoot. Bad guy pauses.
Bad Guy: Now what?
Chuck: You know, I’m not sure. I hadn’t thought it through that far.
Casey enters and knocks the guy out. Chuck accidentally drops the box down the shoot and acts like nothing happened.

SCENE 40
By videoconference, the team is congratulated by Beckman and Graham for various positive outcomes of the successful mission. Chuck is pleased. In the midst of the call, the two in Washington receive Chuck’s Fedex.

SCENE 41
The courtyard. Casey says goodbye to Carina, leaving her with Chuck and Sarah.
Sarah: As much as I hate your methods (hugs her) it’s never a dull moment.
Carina: If you ever want a dull moment, check out your cover life.
Sarah: (glancing at Chuck) Well, we have our adventures.
Carina: Right.
Sarah: (to Chuck) Dinner tonight, so we can talk?
Chuck: Pizza?
Sarah: Sounds good.
As soon as Sarah leaves, Carina moves in on Chuck.
Carina: Sure you don’t want to come back to my hotel room?
Chuck: Ummm, as flattered and intimidated as I am by your proposition, why me?
Carina: Well, you’re sorta cut-ish. But, the real reason is I love taking what Sarah wants.
Chuck: (surprised) Me? No, Sarah doesn’t want me.
Carina: She probably doesn’t even know it herself yet. But, I do.
Chuck is left to ponder that for a while.

SCENE 42
Chuck arrives with pizza at Sarah’s hotel room.
Chuck: Vegetarian. No olives. It’s the only thing I know about you that’s true. You don’t like olives.
Sarah: Thank you. Come in.
Chuck: I’m sorry about the beach. You’re absolutely right. I shouldn’t let my feelings affect the mission. And if you and Bryce had a thing, that makes sense. He always got the great girls. (Sarah is silent) I just wish I knew something real about you. Can’t you just tell me one true thing? (silence) Just one? Like where’d you grow up? Or, if that’s too much—I get it—what’s your name? Your real name? (more silence) Middle name. Can’t you just tell me your middle name? (Chuck waits, but she still says nothing) I’m gonna go get the napkins. Chuck goes to the other side of the room and doesn’t hear as Sarah finally answers.
Sarah: It’s Lisa. My middle name is Lisa.

END OF THE EPISODE.

Despite being only the fourth episode of the series, this one surely established that Chuck and Sarah were headed somewhere. The character of Carina will end up revisiting Burbank a few times. While, on the surface, she would appear to be the anti-shipper who intends to torpedo and snark about relationships in the spy world, she actually was quite an instigator. She didn't have to tell Chuck that Sarah--correctly--might have interest in him. But, she did.

The final scene is really good. Chuck is so utterly cute and charming while he asks for information about Sarah, I would have given him my name, my social security number, and my PIN number. But, Sarah resists...to a point.

CLICK TO READ THIS ARTICLE

CHUCK Vs. Bo - 5.10: The Frosted Tips Strike Back

Bo Derek graces CHUCK with her presence and name in this week's episode.

Apparently Morgan, while under the influence of his frosted tips and the poisonous Intersect, stole some Intersect glasses from a bad dude and Bo Derek. The latter playing herself as an evil spy who bangs the rainbows out of Grimes.

Grimes' paralleling story is that Alex got the rainbows banged out of her by a surfer dude while Morgan and her were on a break (or she cheated on him, as if anyone cares). Why do these story lines? Shrug. Because it's kind of funny? Because it leads us to ridiculous stuff? Don't ask. Just enjoy.

The main plot of this one is that Chuck and Sarah have decided to stop going on dangerous missions and instead work on cyber terrorism and the like. Everyone but Casey is all for it, though the team talks him into it eventually by calling attention to just how many times he's been shot (great little nod to fan discussions over the years).

But when this Intersect issue comes up, they have to go and complete just one more dangerous mission or worry about that device coming back to haunt them, or something. They go. Hilarity and action ensues, and eventually the team does find the Intersect glasses hidden away in a game display at another Buy More (with some gender roles reversed from their Burbank Buy More doppelgangers).

Just as the gang thinks they are out of the spy game, Chuck gets kidnapped and Sarah and Casey have to go save him. I won't even mention that they could have called the CIA/NSA/FBI/SWAT and everyone else to come back them up because this show so rarely deals with that realm of reality (and mind you, MOST entertainment avoids these realities as well just to make their stories somehow work), but the two get into a big shootout and are overwhelmed. Sarah, having brought the Intersect glasses to trade for Chuck, sees no other way out of the situation (and she is known to do wildly irrational things when she thinks any harm could come to her man), so she Intersects herself and kicks the living shit out of her opponents.

I have held onto this moment for some time. I am a bit surprised they even ran with it. But when I initially heard they were keeping it in, I was worried. It sounded like a really bad idea (like Morgan getting the Intersect). It feels like the writers really ran out of ideas this season. AND YET, that moment worked for me. Sure, Sarah shouldn't really need the Intersect. But it is difficult to show what a Sarah using the Intersect would actually look like on this budget. So, we have to suspend some disbelief and accept that Sarah looking only somewhat more badass with the Intersect would be SO MUCH MORE BADASS with another $1 million in the budget. And in that moment, I actually felt a rush. I enjoyed it.

I didn't mention the Jeffster side story which was HILARIOUS! Yeah, I know, if they always had this forget-shit gas, why didn't they use it before? Because the writers just thought of it, obviously. I forgive that kind of writing since, again, it is done on virtually every show except a couple of cable shows that are able to write all their scripts before they shoot their episodes. Anyway, Jeff and Lester being repeatedly gassed, put back in the same car, in the same place, with the same exact conditions, and both always figuring out that it had to have been Team B's doing, never stopped being funny to me. Well, maybe until the end when the Subway commercial showed up in the form of Big Mike.

I laughed a number of times during this one and enjoyed it, but also felt some of the pacing was off and that it dragged a bit too much in places. One of the best working elements is still Chuck and Sarah simply having a conversation. You would think the writers, dealing with an ever decreasing budget, would have just given us more of those moments THAT WORK SO WELL but no. So, we get weak pacing, poorly structured plots, and some strangely written episodes this season. I'm not saying I haven't enjoyed a majority of them, but I am coming away from this season feeling a bit like I did at the end of season 4. Underwhelmed by the season while still having enjoyed individual episodes.

Alright, let's get to my favorite portion of every review.

QUOTABLES!

The team meets to discuss the idea to shift the company to a safer line of work.
Morgan: Well, I love it, okay. You know how I feel about bullets. Which is to say negatively, okay? This is fantastic!
Casey: Where do I fit in? What am I? Chief Googler?
Sarah: Well, actually, you'd be doing a lot of the same stuff that you already do.
Chuck: Yeah, I mean, we're still gonna need field ops to recover stolen systems and breaching company security to find their weak spots.
Casey: [grunts]
Morgan: Plus, wouldn't it be lovely to not get shot at?
Chuck: Exactly! Aren't you sick of getting shot at?
Sarah: Or getting shot. I mean, you get shot a lot.
Casey: Not considering how much I get shot at.

After waking up in a crashed car with booze and panties, memory-wiped Jeff and Lester begin to piece things together.
Jeff: Lester, something really weird is up.
Lester: Yeah, last, last thing I remember is that there's something going on underneath the Buy More. Yeah, that's right. With Bartowski, and Grimes, and Casey, and that whorey blond.

While on the mission and Grimes having to sex up Bo Derek to get information, Sarah playfully taunts Chuck's star crush.
Sarah: Hey, Chuck, how's it going with Bo? Have you had any sneak peeks of your childhood crush's boobies?
Chuck: What?! No! [pause] Shut up.

Later, when Bo reveals herself to be an enemy agent, Sarah saves Chuck and Morgan by knocking her out.
Sarah: [smiling] Sorry I had to do that to your girlfriend.
Chuck: Oh, you didn't hit her in the face, did ya? [Sarah's smile disappears] I'm kidding! I'm kidding. But it is Bo Derek.

If I had to rate this episode, I'd give it:

89 out of 100

Good humor, some good action, fun references, and a thrilling ending (we could debate the necessity of it all until the end of time) but like much of season 5, flawed. Let me also say that I thought Bo Derek did a fine job. Not that I expected anything else. She is a capable actor.

UPDATE:

Click below to listen to the podcast covering the last three CHUCK episodes and beyond!


Or... RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE this link to download the MP3 version (better quality and you can play it on any device).

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Chuck Vs. the Kept Man: 5.09 - It's Sexy Time

After last week's episode raped the entire canon of the show with its wild stupidity, this episode does virtually nothing of importance, and yet works better. And yet, if not for a couple of bits and pieces, you could literally skip the last two weeks and not feel totally lost next week.

One of the best things about this one is that Gertrude returns to make Casey squirm via her super hotness for his sexiness (I LOVE HER!). She needs her Casey meat really bad, having been away from him for several weeks due to the murder charges against her. Now that the CIA has dropped the charges (wait, didn't she actually murder a CIA agent?) she is able to return to get back to licking things off the colonel.

Another really good thing about this episode is that Sarah looks sexy like a meow meow! Well, she does every week but she is especially hawt in this one. And Chuck acts cute. When Chuck acts cute, it feels like the show I fell in love with. I like when that happens.

Meanwhile, Jeff's ability to think has resulted in him piecing things together and somehow figuring out that Casey, Chuck, Sarah, and at least one other are spies. He has even put together a board linking different bits of evidence together, much like the one Chuck had back in the episode Lethal Weapon in season 2, totally figuring out that Casey is NSA, Sarah is CIA, and Chuck is some kind of asset. He also seems to have connected Bryce to the whole thing, something last week's writers couldn't. Actually, if you pause on the different shots on the board, you will notice that Jeff must have gotten his hands on the DVDs in the same way the bad guys did in SPACE BALLS because he knows way too much. This is kind of amusing and results in a couple of bits of hilarity when Morgan discovers Jeff briefing Lester on his findings. This part of the story also results in one of the funniest Jeffster moments in the series, when Lester dresses up as a woman to spy on Captain Awesome. Impressive.

There is a side story about Sarah thinking she is preggers that really doesn't go anywhere but makes up for a large portion of the episode. It does get Chuck and Sarah talking about the future and gives us a classic Chuck moment when Sarah tells him he is "spiraling" as he worries about the future.

The main mission story is totally forgettable. Something about buying weapons. Shrug. Somehow a weapon that can shoot real bullets has a safety feature that prevents it from shooting at friendlies carrying the same weapon. Yeah, it isn't total science fiction, but the weapon should PREVENT YOU FROM FIRING IT. The creators of the show don't seem to understand that logic and allow the weapon to fire over and over even when the safety feature is on. What happens to the bullets? Do they have WINGS? Do they fly around the target? It is stupid.

What does work well is the relationship moments. Gertrude and Casey. Chuck and Sarah (who apparently don't sleep together so how could she ever get pregnant?). Casey and Alex. Jeff and Lester. And even the ending sequence with Jeff, Lester, Big Mike, and Captain Awesome meeting in a fake room within Castle to throw the Jeffster spy mission off.

The final payoff, as Jeff breaks through the fake wall (is that the same wall they used last week?) to discover Morgan, Sarah, and Chuck inside Castle, and Morgan subsequently shooting both of the former band mates with a tranquilizer gun, is actually worth the ride.

Now for some QUOTABLES:

After Chuck spends all night brainstorming a new mission for the team, he shares it with Casey at Castle.
Casey: Clandestine Agents Relating Emotionally. C.A.R.E.?
Chuck: Mmmhmm.
Casey: You really think this is what our clients want? A private security firm that holds their hands? Builds their self-esteem? Tells them their special?
Chuck: Isn't that what everyone wants, Casey?

Before Casey can leave for the mission he runs into his daughter who has brought an interesting DVD for their movie night.
Casey: Downton Abbey. (reading the description) An upstairs/downstairs costume drama in early 1900s England. Yeah, something tells me not gonna be a lot of explosions in that one.
Alex: Are you kidding? What about the bombs they drop on Edwardian convention?

When Casey is tasked with putting on some skimpy bathing trunks, he balks, but Sarah isn't sympathetic.
Sarah: Do you know how many skimpy outfits I have had to put on for this team? Did you hear me complain when I had to put on a cat suit, or seven inch platform high heels, or a belly dancing outfit?
Casey: Belly dancing?
Sarah: Okay, that was private. Look, put on the banana hammock and stop whining!

Sarah walks in on Casey and Gertrude having sex and retreats out of the room, horrified. Chuck meets her at the door and sees the look of shock on her face.
Chuck: Sarah? What's wrong?
Sarah: Everything. It's all wrong.

Chuck decides to have a conversation with Casey about Gertrude.
Chuck: Mind if I give you a little advice?
Casey: Use the word 'care' and I'm gonna take this glass, shove it down your throat, and punch you in the stomach so it shatters.

After Jeff and Lester follow a Captain Awesome on what they think is his spy mission drop, drag queen Lester makes some out-loud mental notes.
Lester: It's oddly comfortable running in heels.

Lester: Just so you know, I'm keeping these shoes.

If I had to rate this one, I'd give it:

85 out of 100

It wasn't a bad episode but it also felt uneven at times. The spy mission felt tacked on just to give the team something to do, while the pregnancy element could have been handled with more consistency. The Jeffster mission was funny and the relationship beats mostly worked well. The fake mission worked much better than the real one. Oh and the couple of DOWNTON ABBEY references made me chuckle. Unfortunately, Casey hasn't gotten to season 2... which suuuuuuuuuucks, but not as much as MISFITS season 3.

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CHUCK Vs. the Curse - 5.06: What's in Bartowski's P.A.N.T.S.?

As we hit the literal halfway-point in the season (since we have 7 episode left that will run over six weeks), and the end of the series, the writers decided to give us small amount of progress, a setup for the next episode, and some fun side-character focus.

Instead of doing a play-by-play of the episode, like I have been, I am going to give a critique of the story. Also, I've been having computer problems and so one of the problems I have this time around is the ability, or inability, to rewatch the episode as I write this review. So, no "quotables" (sorry). Maybe I can squeeze them in later, if I have time.

One of the things many shows do is make our characters behave as if the past, promises, relationship development, and emotional growth never happened. So, you get an episode where Chuck decides not to trust his wife and to even doubt that she wouldn't want to exact same thing he wants with respect to his kidnapped family members. You know, because now they are her family too. In fact, they are literally the only family members she has around. And Chuck, being the introspective extrovert should KNOW that nothing would be more important to Sarah than to save his family. HER family.

Therefor, it is a cheap device to have Chuck go against his wife. And why do it at all? Simple. They needed to get the virus into the hands of the bad guys so it could be released upon the world so that we could get forward momentum on the bigger conspiracy story arc. But even that makes little sense. Chuck is a super tech. Why doesn't he just REPLACE THE VIRUS in the device? Or, not give them the device at all? Again, the answer is very simple. The writers don't feel like they need to deliver a better story. That's not to say most shows do any better (BURN NOTICE does stupid plot shit every episode, every season). But why take such little care with the show? I bet a few fan fiction writers (mind you, I find fan fic writers to be the most evil people in the universe) could come up with 20-ways to get the virus released in this episode that wouldn't be so stupid.

Having said all that, I actually enjoyed the side-character stuff. More Beckman. More Alex. Lots more Ellie and Awesome. Man, Sarah Lancaster is smokin'! I am sure Ryan McPartlin is hot too but I'm a dude. Even the totally pointless P.A.N.T.S. side mission had its fun moments, as the writers set up Morgan and Alex eventually getting back together (wanna bet it's next week?). I've also recently fallen madly in love with Mekenna Melvin so... I'm a total sucker for any scene with her in it.

I also rather liked Rebecca Romijn's characer. She was the right amount of bad while not being cartoonish. Also, I liked her reaction at the end when Casey and Beckman revealed her own device. I know it seemed like they tortured the information out of her, but my bet is that she revealed the information without being tortured. Having used the device on people before, she would know its effect and that everyone eventually talks. However, if she was tortured, that's pretty dark. I like it, but that's pretty dark since even dark shows don't like to suggest the good guys torture to get information. And this isn't one of those really dark shows (though, it should be... and hot... and sexy... all the time... like why can't Chuck and Sarah have hot and sexy moments like Ellie and Awesome?).

Ellie and Awesome on their own little spy mission, before realizing they were actually on one, and after was a blast. I also loved watching Casey and Sarah come in, guns blazing, and just killing everyone in the room. And the thing I loved most was angry Sarah. I love angry Sarah. Always have. Always will.

Nothing is better than angry Sarah, especially when she is mad at Chuck. Yvonne, who is a naturally fun, funny, joyful, and bubbly person in the really real world plays angry, moody, conflicted, and deadly better than just about anyone. And while I do enjoy the fun Sarah moments, tonight's episode reminded me of the old Sarah that I also love. Thankfully, I think we will get a bit more of angry Sarah next week too. Though, this time aimed at someone she really, super duper really wants to KILL!

If I had to rate this episode, I would give it:

88 out of 100

The logic bombs bring the score down but the good moments elevate it back up. I was both disappointed and very entertained. It won't go down in CHUCK history as either one of the worst or the best, but it also doesn't make me want to find a cute baby seal and club it.

UPDATE
Podcast for this episode uploaded. Only 12-minutes long. Check it out for a few mote comments. Adult language used, of course.

Click to listen:


Or here:


Or CLICK HERE to download and listen in the comfort of your own... something.

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