Bored to Death Season 3 Premiere!

Yes! One of my favorite shows is back and more killer than ever!

HBO can sometimes do no wrong... and other times literally bore you to death (like BOARDWALK EMPIRE does to me for at least half of every episode... holy shit, can you fuckers give it any more undeserving Emmy's, Academy?).

BORED TO DEATH was a show that I didn't initially love but stuck with because I felt there was something very intriguing about it. And am I ever glad I did! Anyway, here are my highlight moments of the season 3 premiere. If you didn't watch it, get to it already.

The episodes opens up with an exciting spin-o-rama of knives! A great way to introduce a new season. It is either unique or I just haven't seen it done before.

At a book signing, to someone who has just dropped his book in front of him:

JONATHAN

Who should I sign it to?

GUY

Just sign it, kid.

JONATHAN

[signs "KID" on the inside cover and underlines it]

After announcing to the gathered crowd of fans that she is his biggest fan, his mother says: "He was a 10-month baby. He didn't wanna leave!"

At dinner, Jonathan tells his friends that Ray has a reason to celebrate. George excitedly asks him if he got a job, to which Ray responds "No, nothing terrible like that." The delivery is perfect. This is truly Zach Galifianakis' best character ever.

That line I just mentioned above is followed by:

RAY

Remember the, ahh, lesbian couple of Ditmas Park that got pregnant from my stolen sperm?

GEORGE

Yes, that was and still is very memorable.

Jonathan's mother is of course very confused.

MOM

But I don't understand. Your sperm was stolen? Did they take it from you while you were sleeping?

RAY

[Quietly outraged] No, I put it in a cup.

MOM

[Confidently] And they stole the cup.

Jonathan explaining to his mother that he can afford the incredible apartment he is in because the rent is low due to a giant clock on the building front trembling it once an hour. "It's like living in California, but in Brooklyn."

Jonathan's parents, inspired by Ray's sperm theft story, reveal to him that he is a sperm-donor baby. When he meets up with George later, Jonathan states plainly "And so I come from a sperm bank in Fairlawn, New Jersey." Having been to Fairlawn a number of times, a benign town if there ever was one, it made me laugh. Go figure.

When Ray meets his sperm-baby, he does so wearing the Super Ray costume. Why? He wants to seem heroic.

Ray's first attempt to get a stroller through a door is slap-stick perfection.

George's meeting with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in 2-years, is a train-wreck.

When Ray can't get his boy to stop crying, he calls his mother for advice. She tells him to put whiskey on a nipple. When he can't find an inorganic one, he pours whiskey on his own and quiets the child naturally. It is both uncomfortable and hilarious to watch.

Jonathan wakes up on the floor of a hotel room after being knocked out while on a case. He has a gun in his hand, his pants down to his ankles, and a dead body on the bed with a gunshot to his head. Noticing the gun he whispers "I've been framed!" Followed loudly by "Why are my pants at my ankles?!"

His panicked attempt at wiping the gun clean of his fingerprints results in him shooting the corpse in the torso. Jonathan is horrified. "OH MY GOD! I'm sorry! Are you OK?!"

Ray's need to be validated by his infant son as Spencer's mother rolls him out in a stroller is worth watching a couple of times. Just thinking about it now is making me chuckle. "Bye Spencer. Bye Spencer. Spencer... SPENCER!"

When George is brought a phone by Stephen, an employee whose name he can't seem to remember, his drunken haze gives way to mo' humor!

STEPHEN

You have a phone call, Mr. Christopher.

GEORGE

Oh, thank you, Richard.

STEPHEN

It's Stephen, Mr. Christopher.

GEORGE

Oh, I don't know a Stephen.

STEPHEN

No, it's Jonathan!

GEORGE

Oh, thank you, Jonathan. [picking up the phone] Hello, Stephen!

As Ray prepares to have sex with his dearest love he receives a phone call from Jonathan. Right before he picks up the call he aggressively tells her "NO BACKING OUT!"

So what did you think? Did you not watch it? What the fuck is wrong with you?

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FRINGE 4.03 - Bored to Death... returns to HBO this Monday!

There comes a time in every young man's life when he asks himself "Do I give a shit about this shit?"

What does that have to do with the latest episode of FRINGE? Probably something but I forgot where I was going with that. More after the jump.

Whatever that means.

I have always found the case-of-the-week bullshit on FRINGE to be at worst holy-fuckin-shit-stupid, and at best almost interesting. So the fact that this season has delivered three wholly useless COTW's, means I find myself slowly disconnecting with the entirety of the grander arc.

Sure, I was happy to see Peter's imprint on the world was still around in episode 1, and to see him literally affecting someone in that world in episode 2, and I was also excited about the affect it was having on Walt in episode 3. But in all those episodes the thrill of this story arc hunt was kneed in the ballzies by filler COTW junk. And I can only take so much of that before it grates on me. In seasons 1 and at least half of season 2, I found myself fast forwarding through episodes because of this issue, but it mostly stopped in season 3 when they found a nice mix of barely dealing with any more COTW's while diving head-first into actual kick-ass too-cool-for-idiots story shit.

And so episode 4.03 made me fast forward... and I don't like to fast forward because eventually my time shifting catches up to live and then I have to watch fuckin' commercials. And when I have to watch fuckin' commercials, that might mean somewhere in the country a Nielsen viewer is watching a commercial too and then I am indirectly responsible for keeping this show on the air!

Fuck that.

If CHUCK has to die, then FRINGE has to die too. It's just the way it has to be.

So... what did I think of this episode that I can qualify numerically for an overall score? I liked the kid actor in the crappy COTW. Usually child actors suck hardcore. But he didn't and it is unfortunate his talents were wasted on this yawnfest of a story. I enjoyed Noble's performance but found Torv to be tiring me out, mostly due to the sequences in which her character served to forward the COTW. That other dude who plays her partner... this must have been his pro bono week since he put zero effort into it. Finally, I did like a few of the Peter flashes and such but why wouldn't Peter realize he was doing that much damage to his father and stop messing with the nutbag, especially while someone was talking to him? I mean, in mid fuckin sentence Peter is interrupting Walter, making him feel extra bit of craycray? What the fuck kind of erased-from-time son is that? What an ungrateful blinky shit! I miss my Pacey Poof but I am put off by him for being such a crappy douche.

Were I to rank this episode from zero to one hundred, zero being pretty shittin' bad and one hundred being kind of awesome, I would give this one....

78 out of 100

Not good enough to watch again. Not bad enough to pretend it never happened.

At least next week we get what no one told me is the best episode of the season so far.

P.S.

I wrote this in a great deal of pain. Feel sorry for me, assholes.

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Geek Furious The Poopcast #3 - I AM THE TABLE!

In this poopcast, we discuss all things awesome within the current METAL universe... minus Opeth because I edited that discussion out.

We talk brand new Anthrax, Mastodon, and Machine Head... plus we dive head first into the Lou Reed and Metallica collaboration project Lulu, and discuss the just released single from it, The View.

We also dig into the behind the scenes worlds of Metallica and discuss the singerpocalypse over at Anthrax.  I think we also compare Lulu to the recent changes to Star Wars by George Lucas.

WE ARE GEEKS!



Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes by clicking this link.

Update:
Download the mp3 version of the poopcast.

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Chuckfest3 Ticket Ordering Info and Stuff

The information about this charity event, that will most likely take place on November 5th, 2011, has been posted here.

That is all.
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