Yes! One of my favorite shows is back and more killer than ever!
HBO can sometimes do no wrong... and other times literally bore you to death (like BOARDWALK EMPIRE does to me for at least half of every episode... holy shit, can you fuckers give it any more undeserving Emmy's, Academy?).
BORED TO DEATH was a show that I didn't initially love but stuck with because I felt there was something very intriguing about it. And am I ever glad I did! Anyway, here are my highlight moments of the season 3 premiere. If you didn't watch it, get to it already.
The episodes opens up with an exciting spin-o-rama of knives! A great way to introduce a new season. It is either unique or I just haven't seen it done before.
At a book signing, to someone who has just dropped his book in front of him:
JONATHANWho should I sign it to?
GUYJust sign it, kid.
JONATHAN[signs "KID" on the inside cover and underlines it]
After announcing to the gathered crowd of fans that she is his biggest fan, his mother says: "He was a 10-month baby. He didn't wanna leave!"
At dinner, Jonathan tells his friends that Ray has a reason to celebrate. George excitedly asks him if he got a job, to which Ray responds "No, nothing terrible like that." The delivery is perfect. This is truly Zach Galifianakis' best character ever.
That line I just mentioned above is followed by:
RAYRemember the, ahh, lesbian couple of Ditmas Park that got pregnant from my stolen sperm?
GEORGEYes, that was and still is very memorable.
Jonathan's mother is of course very confused.
MOMBut I don't understand. Your sperm was stolen? Did they take it from you while you were sleeping?
RAY[Quietly outraged] No, I put it in a cup.
MOM[Confidently] And they stole the cup.
Jonathan explaining to his mother that he can afford the incredible apartment he is in because the rent is low due to a giant clock on the building front trembling it once an hour. "It's like living in California, but in Brooklyn."
Jonathan's parents, inspired by Ray's sperm theft story, reveal to him that he is a sperm-donor baby. When he meets up with George later, Jonathan states plainly "And so I come from a sperm bank in Fairlawn, New Jersey." Having been to Fairlawn a number of times, a benign town if there ever was one, it made me laugh. Go figure.
When Ray meets his sperm-baby, he does so wearing the Super Ray costume. Why? He wants to seem heroic.
Ray's first attempt to get a stroller through a door is slap-stick perfection.
George's meeting with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in 2-years, is a train-wreck.
When Ray can't get his boy to stop crying, he calls his mother for advice. She tells him to put whiskey on a nipple. When he can't find an inorganic one, he pours whiskey on his own and quiets the child naturally. It is both uncomfortable and hilarious to watch.
Jonathan wakes up on the floor of a hotel room after being knocked out while on a case. He has a gun in his hand, his pants down to his ankles, and a dead body on the bed with a gunshot to his head. Noticing the gun he whispers "I've been framed!" Followed loudly by "Why are my pants at my ankles?!"
His panicked attempt at wiping the gun clean of his fingerprints results in him shooting the corpse in the torso. Jonathan is horrified. "OH MY GOD! I'm sorry! Are you OK?!"
Ray's need to be validated by his infant son as Spencer's mother rolls him out in a stroller is worth watching a couple of times. Just thinking about it now is making me chuckle. "Bye Spencer. Bye Spencer. Spencer... SPENCER!"
When George is brought a phone by Stephen, an employee whose name he can't seem to remember, his drunken haze gives way to mo' humor!
STEPHENYou have a phone call, Mr. Christopher.
GEORGEOh, thank you, Richard.
STEPHENIt's Stephen, Mr. Christopher.
GEORGEOh, I don't know a Stephen.
STEPHENNo, it's Jonathan!
GEORGEOh, thank you, Jonathan. [picking up the phone] Hello, Stephen!
As Ray prepares to have sex with his dearest love he receives a phone call from Jonathan. Right before he picks up the call he aggressively tells her "NO BACKING OUT!"
So what did you think? Did you not watch it? What the fuck is wrong with you?
