Stars and Stripes vs. Camping Gear: Summer Movie Predictions

Now that I've covered Thor, let's take a look at two other huge superhero movies coming out this summer: Captain America: The First Avenger vs. Green Lantern. I'm going to make some predictions about these movies and we'll see how true they are when the films come out. My predictions are only based on the trailers as I haven't done any research into what the plots will be.

1. Hayley Atwell is going to kick Blake Lively's butt in the “Who's the Awesomer Superhero Girlfriend” category. Why? Because she shoots sh*t up in the trailer, and she's Hayley Atwell. Watch “The Duchess” and/or “The Pillars of the Earth” and you'll understand.

2. The Captain America film will be more interesting to me in terms of the framework of the story, because it takes place in the 40s. I am just DYING for someone to make a Superman movie set in 1938. Fedoras, typewriters, printing presses, telephone booths that are not obsolete...it would just be so awesome. Like a longer more complex Max Fleischer cartoon, but I digress. Green Lantern, on the other hand, is very outer space centric. Which it has to be since the Lantern Corps is basically the police force of the universe. But I'm not a massive fan of superheros dealing in outer space, I'd rather leave that domain to Luke Skywalker, Captain Adama, Prosty and Mal, and of course Ruby Rhod.

3. Ryan Reynolds is hotter than Chris Evans. Captain America has some Benjamin Button's Sh*t going on, and it freaks me out. Also, both men have played superheroes in other films, but Evans was a main character in TWO Fantastic Four movies...so he's a cheater.

4. Green Lantern's powers are way cool, and I can't wait to see them in use. I also can't wait to see Sinestro. Captain America? I don't know who his villains are aside from probably the Nazis.

In conclusion, I think Green Lantern might be a more commercial been-there-done-that superhero movie than Captain America, which has the potential to be really interesting considering the setting, but I'd still rather hang out with Hal Jordan.

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THOR! *smash*

Thor the comic book character isn't one I know a ton about, but I do like him as a hero. He was one of the last characters you could unlock in Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 (don't ask me which system I played on because I don't remember) and when you did no one stood a chance. He's a GOD! And he may have an old school costume and a hammer, but man can he f*ck sh*t up. That was perfectly shown in the movie. Mjolnir (the hammer) allows him all kinds of cool abilities. Flying, thunder bolts, beating people's faces off, it was great! Of course, the hammer and Thor himself are from an actual myth. As I'm sure you know, Thor was worshiped as a Norse god way back in the day, and Thursday is named after him: Thor's Day. For better or for worse I think that made this film feel less like a superhero movie and more like a fantasy film. That didn't bother me, but it was unexpected.

Thor was a really fun movie, and was the perfect type of film to prepare everyone for the barrage of big blockbusters coming up this summer. The film did a great job making Asgard and the Bifrost and all the rest of it not seem cheesy. I thought Chris Hemsworth's portrayal of Thor was excellent, a LOT better than I thought it might be when I heard about his casting. Thor is portrayed here as a hero of extremes, either he's angry and in a fightin' mood, or he's jolly and in a fightin' mood. In both cases I thought he was really entertaining. In jolly mode he kind of makes me think of a young and buff Santa Claus. My only problem with Thor is that he waxes his chest...he looks amazing, but it doesn't really fit with his rough Viking persona OR his beard.

I only had a few issues with this film, but they are enough to mean I probably won't buy the DVD, except maybe as a gift for my dad. I thought the editing was not great. There were a ton of abrupt scene changes and odd transitions, usually when going from New Mexico to the Asgard storyline. I also thought the editing and/or writing was uneven in that the film began with a decent length intro, then a long sequence in Asgard, but as the film went on the story jumped back and forth between earth and Asgard a lot quicker. There were maybe two minutes in the car with Thor and Jane and then the film would jump back into space. They should have kept going with the longer segments, I think it would have made the love story better. I didn't dislike the love story, I liked Natalie's Jane and she and Thor were sweet, but I really didn't give two rat poos if they got together or not.

My other main issue with the film was the huge amount of supporting characters. Thor is an origin movie, and it had about 14 other characters, with names and lines and all the rest of it. This means that less time is actually spent with Thor, the main character, and that's no good. Look at Superman, Spiderman, and Batman Begins. All very good movies and all successful origin movies. They all have only about 8 characters you actually need to remember: hero, villain, love interest, and a few supporting characters. For some reason the writers of Thor wanted to include the Warrior's Three, plus Sif, plus Thor's mother, plus give Jane two assistants. (I'd actually be vehemently defending giving Jane two assistants had Darcy been played by Aubrey Plaza, and I like Skarsgard because he's the only Scandinavian in a movie dealing with Norse mythology.) Plus there were three villains: S.H.I.E.L.D, Loki, and the Jotunheim frost giants (In Norse mythology Jotunheim is also home to rock giants) It was just way too crowded for an origin story. I would have liked more Thor.

My request for the sequel, drop Thor into a huge metropolitan center, in his outfit WITH the helmet, and let him beat the crap out of stuff here on earth.

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Top Five Upcoming Geek Movies of the Summer

The summer movie season essentially began 6 weeks ago on April 29th with the release of "Fast Five'. Since then, a god of thunder, a group of bridesmaids, a vampire hunting priest, a kung fu panda, Captain Jack Sparrow and the Wolfpack have laid siege on multiplexes everywhere…and we aren't even a week into June.

So here are the top 5 upcoming films, I believe will get the geek juices flowing:

1. X-Men: First Class (6/3)
No Wolverine, no problem. Great cast, good director, and amazing buzz. Placing bets that this is the comic book movie to beat this summer.

2. Super 8 (6/10)
If there is any film that should evoke the feeling of summer sci-fi blockbusters of the '70s & '80s, this should be it. Besides, it's Spielberg and Abrams. This thing reeks Geek.

3. Green Lantern (6/17)
Looks epic. Concerns are that it is another comic book movie starring Ryan Reynolds. Comic book geeks should eat it up. But will the rest of the masses care? GL is kinda of a second tier hero in the DC Universe. Fingers crossed.

4. Captain America: The First Avenger (7/22)
This is the final piece of the Marvel Studios' movie puzzle before next year's Avengers. Not missing it. Don't forget to stay through the end credits kiddies.

5. Cowboys & Aliens (7/29)
Um, Indiana Jones and James Bond vs. aliens in the wild west from the director of Iron Man? Duh.

Honorable mentions:

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part II (7/15)
Even if you haven't read the books or watched the movies you're gonna wanna know how it ends, right?

2. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (8/5)
No Heston, no Marky Mark, just James Franco and WETA digital effects. One of the only sci-fi films of the summer.

3. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (8/26)
It's a Guillermo del Toro produced horror movie. If the movie is half as scary as the trailer, then prepare to wet yourself.

Dishonorable mentions:

1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (7/29)
Why not? Michael Bay, that's why.

2. Conan the Barbarian (8/19)
Simple. No Ahnold, no pay to see.

3. Fright Night (8/19)
Wait, they're rereleasing Disturbia? Cool! NOT. If you haven't already seen it, Netflix the original 1985 Fright Night. Trust me.

Non-American readers you know the drill: month first, date second.

Did I miss a flick? Do you have a compelling geek reason for me to add it to the list? Or do you just disagree with my choices? Let me have it in the comments section below.

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Playstation Store is LIVE!

The official Playstation blog has announced that the storefront is finally open!  New content is available!  Your freebies are.... not!

According to the blog, they are still "testing" how to screw you over on that side.  They probably intend on making you jump through a few hoops, catch the candy-cane rabbit in the marmalade river and score 10 million in the new Playstation Home game "9,999,999."

Expect the Playstation Store to have several updates over the next few days as the system catches up to all the content they couldn't release over the last month plus.
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