TOP 10 Stupid Things TV and Film Makers Do

Not necessarily in any order. Though, it’s in a specific order so I'm lying.

10. People just hang up when a phone conversation ends. No one ever says “bye” and no one ever calls up the other person asking them “What the fuck, Bob?! You just hung up on me!”

9. Lovers call each other by their first names instead of “baby” or “honey” or “titty sprinkles”.

8. Characters constantly refer to each other by name as if they're trying to remember it, because that's how we all do it, right?

Bob? Right, Bob? Hey, Bob. What's up, Bob? Bob? Let's go do that thing, Bob.

7. A discussion that starts at one location will continue to its next logical step in a follow-up scene in a completely different location, even though the characters would have taken minutes to hours to arrive there and would have finished the conversation already.

Obviously this is based on those times when you're like "Hey, Bob, how about we finish this conversation when we arrive where the cameras are filming the next scene? Okay, Bob?"

6. I supposed this started with BATTLESTAR GALACTICA but it has caught on with writers all over the place: Military and police personnel referring to female superiors as “sir”. NOPE. INACCURATE. It’s still “ma’am”. Don’t believe me? Try calling a female officer “sir” and see what happens.

Seriously, don't fuckin' do that.

5. Arm and leg bullet wounds are shrugged off even though they can be extremely painful, result in broken bones, and cause severe blood-loss that can kill just as easily as any other wound.

4. People dial phone numbers from memory. No one is ever like "Fuuuuuck! I should have put that number in my phone!"

3. Characters don’t say “ummm” or “ahhh” or “uhhh” like real people do. They are all expert public speakers that never lean on auxiliaries.

2. No one can see what is happening within anything greater than a 5 degree field of view. They’re always really surprised by someone not directly 2 feet in front of them. People just pop up on them like ninjas.

1. Characters speak at a normal conversation level in a non-secure location where anyone can hear them say something super important that should be kept secret.

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Furycast 55 - Greatest Podcast Ever Part VII

THIS EPISODE WILL FUCK YOUR FACE OFF!

Jess and Magnus talk BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: BLOOD & CHROME, WALKING DEAD, PARKS AND RECREATION, REVOLUTION, STAR WARS, ELEMENTARY blahblahblah stuff stuff, Yvonne Strahovski crying and sex scenes, and so on and therefor plus HOMELAND, MY SO-CALLED LIFE, STAR TREK, CHUCK yaddayaddapoopmonster there and back again, and Brad Pitt's sucking of Billy Bob Thorton's blood vile around Angelina Jolie's neck, runonsentences plus more. AND A FUCKIN' OUTTAKE THAT WILL FLIP YOUR TITS OFF!

This is the greatest podcast in the history of womankind! If you don't listen to it, your dick will become a pooh-C.... and just think, I edited out 15 minutes for being too hardcore.

PRESS PLAY!


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Furycast 43 - Downton Copper CrayCray

In this episode, Jess and Geek discuss the latest episodes of DOWNTON ABBEY and COPPER and how totally nutbags fun those shows were this week.

Consider EVERY discussion a potential SPOILER discussion.

AUTOPLAY enabled for purely evil reasons.


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Furycast 41 - Homeland Downton Emmy

In this episode, Jess and Magnus discuss the Emmys, DOWNTON ABBEY, COPPER, and a bunch of shit. Outtake at the end (so wait for it!).

Consider EVERY discussion a potential SPOILER discussion.



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Click this link to subscribe to our podcast via iTunes.

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Review - COMMUNITY 3.13: 'Digital Exploration of Interior Design'

COMMUNITY season 3... is this the best season of a half-hour comedy ever or what?

The showed pulled a CHUCK and did a Subway heavy episode that should have been a paid advertisement. And if Subway did pay them for it, then they are either the coolest company in history, or the biggest bunch of idiots who can't tell when they're being punked.

I'm going with the coolest company in history because no one could be that dense.

Plus, I love their food. I will now accept my free $100 Subway gift card, thank you very much third-party consulting firm that runs their Twitter account.

In this two-part episode, we have several story lines. Let's break them down in a way that makes this article easiest to write.

1. Subway has set up shop in the cafeteria of the school, where Pierce and Shirley were going to run their own sandwich shop. The two oldies volunteer Britta to their cause to bring down the evil corporate bullies.

2. Due to a Greendale bylaw issue, a human being changes his name and status to 'Subway' and attends the school as a student. This is a stroke of genius in writing as it both tackles the legal recognition of corporations as people and the age old question: which came first? My corporate overlords or my feelings?

No? That's not an age old question? Well, it is now.

3. Britta, in her attempts to spy on Subway, falls in love with him when she discovers that the pre-corporate-puppet version of him is her dream man. The two eventually end up on a secret and twisted sexual rendezvous inside Abed's pillow fort. This leads to Subway corporate stepping in and whisking Britta's dearest love away from her.

4. Speaking of which, Abed and Troy wage war when Troy's competing fort of blankets gets closer to a world record, requiring Abed to decide whether to allow his pillow fort to be taken down, or to strike back hard. Vice Dean Laybourne steps in on both ends to try to drive a wedge between the two friends, so he can finally convince Troy to join him in his evil air-conditioning master plan.

5. A lesser story line involves Jeff's attempt to apologize for wronging someone he thinks is dead and Annie's underhanded attempt to make him appreciate her more. When things don't work out the way she wants, she angrily storms off.

6. In the end, Britta is sad; Subway isn't that good looking; Jeff is confused; Pierce is high on ink; Annie still has huge jubblies; and Troy and Abed prepare for an all-out war of the forts as Vice Dean Laybourne plots.

Now, let's get to... QUOTABLES!

Shirley, reading from the Greendale bylaws.
Shirley: 'Any business operating for profit on Greendale's campus, must be at least 51 percent owned by a registered student!'
Britta: That's too bad, dean. I don't recall seeing Subway in my Pre-Menopausal-Post-Feministic-Experiential-Marketing class.
Subway: (appearing) Actually, I'm on the wait-list for the Pre-Men-Post-Fem-Exp-Mark.
Britta: Who are you?
Dean: Gang, meet Greendale's newest student, Subway.
Troy: Your name is Subway?
Subway: Yep. Using a groundbreaking, but surprisingly legal process known as 'Corpo-Humanization,' real people, such as myself, are now allowed to represent the collective humanity of business owners. I have contractually waved my birth identity and am now a man, and student, named... (produces his identification) Subway.

When Shirley and Pierce allude to Britta's sexual looseness as an asset in their attempt to take down Subway, she reacts.
Britta: Okay! This conversation is over! I am not a whore! And, not that I've done the math, but if I were, I'd by the super classy kind that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel!

When Subway stands next to Britta in line for the school cafeteria lunch, she battles his corporate puppetry.
Subway: What do you recommend?
Britta: What's it to you, meat pusher?
Subway: Sounds like you might be a vegetarian. You should try Subway's Veggie Delight.
Britta: You should try reading Orwell's '1984.'
Subway: I have. It's a great book. It really awakened me in high school. I think kids should be forced to read it.
Britta: Me too. Anyway, you're living it. You're a human puppet with big-sandwich's hand up your ass. Is this what you dreamt of being?
Subway: Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to discuss my former life. Or engage in any non-platonic relations, practice religion in public, or eat any non-fresh unhealthy food like that found anywhere outside Subway.
Britta: (referencing the food he just picked out) Why you getting all that?
Subway: I wanted to stand next to you for a moment. It was worth it. Like a good book by Orwell. Or a Veggie Delight.

The Dean tells Troy that his blanket fort is nearing a world record and that only Abed's pillow fort stands in his way.
Dean: Abed will destroy his pillow fort and Troy will expand his blanket fort into the space. Everyone wins! Except Abed. But you know, not everyone can win.
Abed: Is that what you want, Troy? For me to destroy my pillow fort so that you can set your record?
Troy: It is.
Abed: Magnitude! (Magnitude arrives at attention like a dutiful soldier) Evacuate Fort Abed and prepare for self-destruct.
Magnitude: Sir?!
Abed: Do it. We're done here.
Magnitude: Pop-pop, captain.

If I had to rate this episode, and the Greendale bylaws say I do, then I'd give it:

95 out of 100

The surprisingly subversive nature of the Subway story line really elevated the quality of this episode for me. Plus, the secondary plot-elements (or was the fort building the main and the Subway the secondary) made for a deep and interesting reflection of the strength of friendship versus the need for individuals to declare themselves. I cannot wait for next week's episode.

So, what did you think? Comment below.... or die trying.

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PS3 News: PSN Store to Return Soon?

Rumors are stirring throughout the industry that Sony may rediscover what it is like to actually serve its customers and to make money doing it.  The Playstation Network is expected to go down on Tuesday for maintenance and return either 31 May or 1 June (depending on your region) with the storefront enabled.  PSN was down for a month when a 12-year old from Bangkok accidentally hacked into it while performing a Google search for anime porn.  The store has been down longer as Sony tries to figure out how to keep infants from exploiting their new super duper strong security measures.

Granted, Sony could just as well get hacked this weekend and bring the entire thing down again.  You never know with these clownshoes.  One would think Sony, a company many were surprised to discover actually researches AND develops technology and not bathroom products, would have understood how network/system security works and that their system was begging to be hacked.  But apparently they were too busy counting and cashing checks to bother with such an insignificant problem, one that they themselves report will cost them nearly 200 million in losses.  That is in dollars not candy coins or wishful thinking, mind you.

In other news, SONY IS RUN BY DEMONKITTENS FROM POOLAND!

What will you do first when the PSN Store is restored?  Will you buy anything?  Or will you try to hack it to see how much free crap you can get before the FBI kicks down your door?

That reminds me, once the network is back up and running, Sony has released information about their make-good rewards for account holders and also the identity theft protection plan that they will provide to anyone affected by the data theft.  So, for the trouble you get some games, movies, Playstation Plus for 30-days, and identity theft protection all for FREE.  If that is our reward for losing the network for a month, I hope someone brings it down for three months so I can get a free Madden 11 (or 12, what are they up to anyway) since I will NEVER buy another $60 packaged patch from EA again.

WARNING: the above links take you to the official Playstation blog, run by Sony.  It is very likely that your personal info will be stolen, your car will be repossessed, your pet will pee on you while you sleep, and your significant other will leave you for an X-BOX 360 owner.  Click carefully!

On a totally unrelated note, if you voted "Who?" in the poll on the front page, then you need to put down the Justin Bieber CD and discover the genius that is Bon Iver.

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