Review - COMMUNITY 3.15: 'Origins of Vampire Mythology'

Following a number of excellent episodes, the show tries to hold onto the magic. Does it work? Does it finally jump the shark? Find out below!

PLOT
The carnival is in town and Britta's ex, Blade, is inbound. She is weak for him.

Jeff loves his locker. Annie loves his bod.

Britta asks Annie to put her on lock-down to keep her from banging Blade.

Dean Pelton and Vice-Dean Laybourne discuss enrolling Troy in the air-conditioning repair program. Pelton doesn't know if he can make that happen. Laybourne impresses upon him that he must.

Britta is at Troy, Abed, and Annie's apartment on lock-down, behaving like a junky, trying to trick Annie into revealing the location of the phone using the potential of her mother dying as the logic. When Troy accidentally tells her where it is, the gang is forced to lock her junkie ass up. When things couldn't get much worse, Dean Pelton shows up with root beer and chips.

Jeff and Shirley go the carnival together to spy on Blade. Shirley is concerned Jeff is jealous and in love with Britta. Jeff admits jealousy but denies love. Also, Pierce and Chang develop a great friendship that lasts a few minutes.

Junkie Britta cons her phone back from Annie but Annie has switched Blade's number for her own and receives Junkie Britta's horny psycho texts. But when Annie makes the fatal mistake of responding with "Leave me alone" she elevates the insanity and has to fake being Blade.

No one can figure out why Dean Pelton is there. Eventually, Troy takes over as fake-Blade and texts something nice, immediately curing her of the addiction because she isn't attracted to losers.

Blade reveals his secret to Jeff. Brain damage. He lacks the ability to feel shame. Jeff then gives a speech to Britta and everything is back to normal, except for Pierce who is now addicted to Chang.

QUOTABLES

The group wants to know about Britta's carnival boyfriend.
Britta: Fine. I'm not ashamed of my past. And if it entertains you guys, that's great, because we're friends. (pause) His name is Blade and... (the group bursts out in laughter)
Jeff: She invoked friendship to undercut the laugh and we're still laughing, that's how funny it is!
Abed: His name is Blade. Is that legal? Shouldn't New Line Cinema be suing him?
Britta: He was called that before that stupid movie.
Troy: (correcting her) He was called that before the fantastic movie.
Abed: And it was a Marvel comic in 1973.
Britta: Well, nerd alert!
Pierce: Well, ex-boyfriend named Blade alert.
Pierce and Shirley high-five.
Shirley: Her love life makes Pierce seem with it.
Pierce: Her pain unifies us. She has the King Arthur of bad taste in men.

Jeff: So what, Britta? You're in love with a guy who's named after a kickboxing vampire movie?
Troy: (correcting him) A fantastic kickboxing vampire movie!
Britta: No, I don't believe in love because of this guy (getting emotional) named after a kickboxing vampire movie.
Annie: Ohh, Britta!
Shirley: Oh, sweetie.
Troy: (leaning over to Abed) You wanna watch BLADE tonight?
Abed: Yes.

Britta hurries over to Annie with some news.
Britta: I need your help. It is Blade's carnival that's coming. He's working the BB gun duck shooting gallery, I guess he finally got that promotion, and he will call me. And left unattended, I will end up doing him like a crossword and I will regret it! So I need you to take my phone, and don't give it back until Monday!
Annie: Of course! Okay!
Jeff: For real?
Britta: (shutting Jeff up with her hand in his face) And I need to stay with you this weekend. Not just stay with you, I need to be on lock-down. You are a pill-head, so think of Blade as adderall and handcuff me to the radiator like a mother flippin' carny banging werewolf!

When Annie has to fake being Blade, Britta's texts get more and more desperate.
Annie: (typing a text) I told you, not to call me at work! (reading Britta's text) 'I'm sorry. I forgot. Don't be mad at me'?! She's whipped by an imaginary douche!

RATING
If I had to rate this one, and Buddy Jesus says I do, then I'd give it:

87 out of 100

Britta centric, funny and full of quick stabs of memorable dialogue. Nowhere near the genius of some others but it works.

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Review - COMMUNITY 3.12: 'Contemporary Impressionists'

Since I am crazy sick this week, my usual killer COMMUNITY review will be short and sweet so I can pass out in bed... but not before getting out a few puppy whimpers.

In this episode:

• Abed's addiction to acting out his favorite movie scenes with celebrity impersonators he can't afford affects the whole group. 
• Jeff's on anti-anxiety medication and it makes him a much bigger narcissist.
• Chang begins his master plan (I think) to overthrow the dean.

Troy decides to help Abed pay off his debt by enlisting the group in a Bar Mitzvah celebrity look-alike job. The result is Jeff going Hulk on a kid when his ego explodes, and actually kissing a shocked Shirley. However, things actually work out and blahblahblah.

Finally, Troy and Abed seemingly come to a greater understand about their relationship, but that results in Abed entering his dreamatorium alone, only to find Evil Abed waiting for him. Shit just got dark.

If I had to rate this one, I'd give it:

92 out of 100

Even sick as a filthy dog I laughed outloud several times. In fact, it was just about the only thing that made me feel good last night. Jeff's ego issues; Britta's attempt to save him; Annie and the Dean's attraction to Jeff; Troy and Britta playing the two versions of Michael Jackson; Jeff being a better looking Ryan Seacrest; Abed looking JUST like Jamie Lee Curtis; and even Pierce's desperate attempt to be Burt Reynolds just worked on every level.

Sorry about the lack of quotables this week. But that... would... just... take more focus than I can afford right now.

So, what did you think?

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COMMUNITY 3.10: Regional Holiday Music

"Merry Christmas, everyone. Glee club just became history club." -- Jeff Winger

The show's Christmas episode is also its last for a while, as NBC has placed it on the bench for the foreseeable future as it tries to restructure its Thursday lineup. The show will return eventually, as it is going to film its full 22 episode season, and I wouldn't be shocked to see it picked up for another season since Sony will practically give the show away for free to NBC just to make syndication numbers.

The episode begins with Jeff helping to dissolve the school's glee club via ASCAP's legal intervention due to copyright infringement. That forces the club's instructor to try to get the study group to fill in as replacements. What follows is a manic episode that goes to crazy town, filled with wild singing and sluttery.

First of all, let me just cite my source for the song titles in this review. I got them from Alan Sepinwall, at this link (his review is much better than mine).

Second, the story is essentially secondary to the musical numbers, even though each one is brought about by the narrative element, which is essentially that every one of the study group members is somehow put under the spell of glee club. I suspect the instructor was slipping them all Ecstasy but what do I know. Here are the musical numbers as they appeared.

Songs Performed
"Glee," by Abed and Mr. Rad
This one threw me off at first. Then I really got into it. Confession... I love comedic musical stuff, like anything by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and this number filled that need well. And unlike all those horrid songs on that awful show GLEE (sorry, Ali Adler, I still love you), this one is awesome and short, and original.

"Jahovah's Secret Witness" by Abed and Troy
Only COMMUNITY can pull this kind of thing off and not make it suuuuuuuuck like MISFITS season 3. Troy and Abed's rap about becoming a secret Christmas assassin is like the best YouTube video ever with autotune. Goddamn this show is too good for mankind. We don't deserve this level of awesomeness. CANCEL IT! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!

"Baby Boomer Santa" by Troy, Abed, and Pierce
Abed and Troy ambush the study group with a glee number and Pierce gets sucked in by their multi-generation spanning number. It's pretty nuts. You should be watching the episode instead of reading this bullshit review.

"Teach Me How To Understand Christmas" by Annie
Daddy likes! Me just male. Me should know dis totally wrong. Me weak. No resist. Give in to bad Santa's little helper girl who no smart. Annie writhes around the floor and everything else like a naughty Betty Boop trying to manipulate Jeff into turning to the dark side. He tries to resist but like me, he fills a nearby cup with a sampling from another album... or something. Boobies!

"Happy Birthday Jesus" by the children's choir and Shirley
Pierce brings cute little kids to sing about Jesus and of course Shirley can't resist and joins them. Shirley is one of those characters who can sometimes easily fall into the background but when given time to play, like last week, truly shines and when she finally belts out her tune (is that really the actor's voice?) it is the best performance of the episode. Britta is horrified!

"Planet Christmas" by the gang
The highlight of this performance is that Britta comes in and ruins the entire thing with her awful vocals and total ignorance of the lyrics. To me, this is the best moment of the episode. Britta is just so totally unaware of her lack of talent that she destroys all that the glee club instructor, and apparent murderer, has worked so hard to create.

Quotables

Annie: And don't bother this year, I'll be at the movies with my bubby [sounds like 'booby'].
Troy: (confused) You're not taking both of them?
Annie: (sad) Well, one's dead.
Troy: What?!

Dean: And to think, they were this close (holds thumb and index finger slightly apart) to regionals.
Pierce: What the hell are regionals?
Dean: They're this close, Pierce!

Mr. Rad: (singing) Glee! It's like a drug that you use that turns pain into shoes and your shoes into dance!

Annie: Hey guys. Rapping?
Abed: Yep. Wanna join us?
Annie: Totally! Wait. You guys never let me rap with you.
Troy: Well, we're gonna need all hands on deck if we're gonna go to regionals.
Annie: (suspiciously) Cool. I just need to.. study.. though, in my room. So, have fun!

Troy: (effeminately) Look guys, I hear your negativity but also can I counter with this? Who hates glee? Listen to how that sounds. Glee literally means 'glee.'

Troy and Abed: (singing) Baby boomer Santa, thank you for MTV!

Annie: (singing in a baby voice) You smarty! Me dumb! Help pretty, have fun! Booby dooby doob boob, sex!
Jeff: Look, eventually you hit a point of diminishing returns on the sexyness.
Annie: (in baby voice) What's a diminyiwahnyawahhhh?

Mr. Rad: (freaking out) This show is supposed to be gleeful! And bright! And fun! And you can let me do that or there can be another bus crash!
The audience gasps.
Mr. Rad: Well, figuratively. (laughing) I'm not saying 'I killed the last glee club!' I'm saying, you not listening to me is like metaphorically cutting the brake lines on your own.. (pointing behind the audience) look Kings of Leon.
Mr. Rad runs away.
Jeff: What did he say? Did Mr. Rad kill the last glee club?
Dean: And to think I trusted him enough to captain a magic carpet in that dream I had last night.

Jeff: It's been a dark semester. I basically killed a guy. And I kind of attacked you guys with a fire ax. Thinking about seeing a new shrink.
Britta: What?!
Jeff: Don't.

If I had to rate this one I'd give it:

92 out of 100

One of the most unique episodes, in a season of unique episodes. COMMUNITY continues to prove the early season naysayers wrong by killing it every week. Those who feel the need to shit on a show as it enters the third season just because they have run out of stamina to enjoy genius can go fuck off and die someplace cold and dark. I am having a blast. When this show returns sometime in the next few months, after that abortionfest WHITNEY and its fuckbuddy CHELSEA bomb, COMMUNITY will ride in on its steed of greatness to set fire to the land of predictable shit that belongs on CBS where talent goes to sell itself into prostitution.

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