WARNING
This is not a recap. Fuck recaps. Go watch the episode.
5.01 Repilot
There is an immediate and potent familiarity with this version of COMMUNITY. It makes season 4 episodes seem like someone raped Dan Harmon's family on a beach.
The beats work. The characters feel like the same ones we were following in seasons 1-3. There is a truth in the dialogue, something only someone born with taste could possibly appreciate. Unlike the clownshoehorn crap of season 4 that drove Sony and NBC to tuck their assholes back inside their poopholes and rehire a guy who openly and repeatedly defecated in their mouths, this is a genuine work of art!
Jeff: I asked you to put the phone number on the screen.
Abed: I didn't like the number. 555? It's derivative.
Jeff: It's the number of my business!
Abed: It sounds fake. How can every number start with 555? Are there only 10,000 numbers?
Troy: If we sue Greendale, can I be a surprise witness? Wait. Don't tell me.
The blue-ghost-hologram of Pierce was a killer touch. Spoiler. Since. Chase left the show.
If I had to rate this episode, and nothing in the universe says I do, I'd give it:
90 out of 100
When you factor in the +50 Dan Harmon points, it is 140 out of 100!
A triumphant return, indeed!
If you didn't love this return, or think season 4 was good, then I'm not saying you're a bad person. I'm just saying you're not a good person.
You're not a good person, Bob. Someone had to say it.
5.02 Introduction to Teaching
Jeff has to deal with what it means to become a teacher as Abed explores life's eternal question: is Nicholas Cage good or bad? Also, Mike from BREAKING BAD is a bully teacher.
No one is paying me to do these reviews. Plus, after this, I quit. Peace!
Jeff: I can't just pretend I'm teaching. I'm not 'Mythbusters'.
Shirley: Hmm, there's a course on Nicholas Cage but if you mention Jesus to your science teacher you get a written warning.
Troy: Nicholas Cage is so weird. I mean, he seems scared to smell that flower but happy to get shot?
Shirley: Maybe he's just good in good movies and acts crazy in crap to make drug money.
Prof. Hickey: It's one duck, his name is Jim, and publishers are interested!
Everyone: Slightly higher grades! Slightly higher grades!
If I had rate this episode, and I do, I'd give it:
97 out of 100
When you factor in the +50 Dan Harmon points, it is 147 out of 100!
Loved Annie vs Jeff. Loved Abed as Nicholas Cage. Loved Shirley. And Troy. And Britta. Dialogue. Plot. Dean. Mike. Old dude. Anarchy! ENOUGH!
Right now I feel like I imagine I could feel if Star Wars Episode VII rocks. Thank you, Dan Harmon. I had forgotten what it was like to love.