Here are my quick reactions to the premiere Tuesday FOX comedy block.
NEW GIRL
Episode 1
Schmidt's penis escapes its cast and so he puts on a party. Jess gets fired.
90 out of 100
Oh look... another show breaks up a romantic pairing in the off-season and it makes no fuckin' sense. Otherwise I laughed a lot and there was some fantastically silly dialogue.
Episode 2
Jess whores herself out to different dudes and pretends to be Katie. Schmidt tries to nail Winston's sister. Nick meets his future self.
88 out of 100
Nick believing he met his future self bit was perfect. Jess trying to juggle multiple men and Schmidt trying to nail Winston's sister bit was less successful, though it had some terrific dialogue.
Jess: I had the best sex of my life last night.
Nick: Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.
Jess: It wasn't. It was me. Having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird that I saw my grandparents, came back down. I became a werewolf, I scared some teenagers. I came back into my body. Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie and that I'm a dancer and or something involving puppets.
BEN AND KATE
Ben is a lovable idiot. Kate is a lovable twit.
82 out of 100
It was okay but I feel like I've seen this type of show before and done better. Though, that little kid is ADORABLE! I may just stick around for her because she's also a pretty good actor. And we rarely see good child actors who are ADORABLE.
THE MINDY PROJECT
I love Mindy Kaling. She plays a neurotic doctor who can't find love... or something. She's goofy. Fast talking. Craycray. I love her! But I fear the show may be too good for network TV. Should be on HBO or Showtime.
92 out of 100
I really want this show to do well and to see more NBC stars appear because we all know FOX wants nothing more than to steal everything that is successful away from NBC because Kevin Reilly is still burning mad about being fired by the Peacock.
Huh huh... I said cock.