When Ryan's sister comes home preggers, Wilfred wages a war against the fetus due to ancient bad blood between dogs and babies for cuteness dominance.
We are reminded of what a douchenozzle Ryan's sister can be; we see more of Amanda and her quirky cuteness; and learn that dogs can only feel guilt for five seconds.
In the end, everything works out... kind of.
QUOTING WILFRED
Wilfred: Do you know how long dogs feel guilty? Five seconds. Then we move on.
Ryan: What the hell's gotten into you?
Wilfred: What the hell's gotten into you? How could you let that Trojan horse into this house?
Ryan: Trojan horse?
Wilfred: There's a war out there, Ryan. A war between dogs and babies. And you brought it to our doorstep.
Ryan: You're at war with babies? Over what?
Wilfed: Why do any great civilizations go to war? To see who's cutest. Through the millennia, under the unseeing eye of mankind, we (short pause) have done battle. The rivers have run red with blood. And towers of mutilated corpses have cast shadows upon entrail-laden battlefields. It was dogs versus babies, so it was still pretty cute...
Wilfred: (looking at an ultrasound printout) No down syndrome; no spina bifida; no lobster hands. Jesus (pause) this baby is gonna be goddamn adorable.
Wilfred: Why god?! Why?! (crying) What kind of god makes a baby live?
Wilfred: Great. Now the father's here. (crying) How many innocent babies need to survive before we put an end to this senseless nurturing?
Wilfred: God, I'm such an idiot for not duck-taping a pizza cutter to the end of Arturo's penis.
Wilfred: (written on pad) PEN15
Wilfred: Really? (blows smoke out) W-we're really gonna have this debate right now? 'Cause we all know life doesn't begin until the fetus is 10-years old.
Ryan: You have no morals.
Wilfred: Of course I do. You kill an 11-year old, you're going straight to hell.
If I had to rate this episode, and Wilfred's moral compass says I do, I'd give it:
92 out of 100
Terrific dialogue and a pretty solid message episode.