Start spreading the news! I'm leaving today! Wait, no I'm leaving Saturday - actually, scrap that - I'm leaving in a couple of weeks for 6 weeks. Yep, it's here folks, the moment we've all been waiting for : WE FINALLY KNOW HOW/WHY LARRY IS GOING TO NEW YORK CITY! Now, here's to hoping that he sends for Leon or that Leon miraculously appears at his apartment bearing chinese food and a large soda.
So, let's get to it: what really happened with Larry this week?
1. The title of this week's episode is "The Vow of Silence" because - SHOCKER - someone (Vance) decided to take a vow of silence after recommendation from his spiritual advisor. First the Funk Man now this dude? What is it with all the spiritual awakening in Larry's entourage? Are they sad middle-aged women who only swear by Oprah and The Secret? Anyway, Vance ends up the catalyst in every storyline: he sees Larry eating the Pink Berry destined for Oscar, Susie's dead dog (RIP Oscar). He "mouthes" the truth to her - only to be threatened/lectured by Larry on tattling. Finally, he lets it all out when Larry leaves him a NSFW message on his car due to his "two-line" parking job. It wouldn't be Curb if LD didn't piss someone off thus propelling the domino effect.
2. Jeff and Susie are moving to NYC because Sammy has been accepted to the Julliard Summer Program (where all kids f**ked up by their psycho-smothering mothers go). They throw a party for their own going away (of course they do). LD spends the whole party trying to avoid Tessler (what up David St. Hubbins?) who wants to sign him up to do something for his do-good association that has something to do with the children? Anyway, Larry wants to get out of it and says he'll be in NYC when the event is held. Like any upstanding citizen, he lied. Too bad his lie backfired and ended up really sending him to New York.
3. The Chat and Cut - thank you LD for putting a name on an all too common tendency with people all over. Waiting in line sucks, everyone knows it. You've got to stay within the line - whether you're at Pink Berry or on a parking lot with your vehicle.
Babydoll's by the way...
-Susie's first outfit? The leopard print and the gold flower croissage? If Susie ever needs a job, she should just work on every single 80s remake Hollywood decides to revamp. Romy and Michele's 2nd High School Reunion anybody? She and Michael McKean could talk about making a feature film about Journey.
-Sightings: Hello Rich Sommer from Mad Men! Oh Harry Crane how I've missed you! If you weren't on Funny or Die talking about Sexual Positions or on my The Office reruns, the return for Mad Men would be harder than it actually is (fyi: impossible, I feel like crying). Oh and HEY Brett Gelman from The Other Guys fame and Funny Or Die (Mr. Celebrity). The Curb casting agents sure love their Mad Men and Funny or Die shorts!
-How much would you pay to go see Eat, Pray, Love? Stop advertizing the f**king film. Seriously, talking about how much you hate the idea of it is still talking about it. I haven't seen it - but talking about hating it doesn't make you more of a man. It just makes you look like a douche who talks about chick flicks.
-How MUCH do vets make? Are there different rates per animal? Size? Operation? Do they have their own union? Why aren't there TV shows about their sex lives?
-A shiva for a dog? OK, I'll go with it - but how long is it supposed to last? Until the next full moon?
-LD not being able to decide what he wants for lunch - only someone who really loves food can relate. I would have gone with mexican though. Just sayin'.
-Tessler once did a Silver Spoons in less than 48 hours? WHY WOULD YOU EVER OVER WORK A BABY RICK SCHRODER!!!??? AND A BABY JASON BATEMAN??
Curb your political correctness...
-"Like a married relationship?"
-"Korean holiday! Tet day" - Great Larry, except it's Vietnamese. But would Susie know that? Eh, probably not.
-"What do you mean you went on a helicopter ride?" LOL Jeff, LOL.