30 November, 2011

Skyrim PC Patch 1.2 and why you should NOT download it.

Sure, this game is awesome, even if buggy, but thankfully Bethesda is patching it so it will all be good. Right?

Right?

Well, in this instance, wrong. Because this latest patch causes more problems than it solves. Here is one of them:



Or this:



And apparently this latest patch has totally screwed up damage and magic resistance (this is from the PS3 but apparently applies to the PC too):



So, instead of patching, wait for them to fix the things they screwed up while trying to fix the game.



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NEW GIRL 1.07: Bells!

In the latest episode of NEW GIRL, Jess got bells and Winston got bellsier, while Nick and Schmidt went to war. More after I hit enter twice.

Winston's competitiveness story-line was interesting to some degree but I only cared about it as it related to the humor in the scenes. I liked when the show took us to his job, from the boredom of temp work to later, when the bells had so consumed his time that it caused his firing. But whether or not he has a competitive personality or how it affected the kids couldn't have been any less interesting. And since it almost completely took up Jess' story-line as well, this was the first episode where I felt very little connection to her.

So, it all fell on the Nick vs. Schmidt stuff. Here is where the episode felt the most genuine to me. Schmidt, who has a job that pays him well, having to suffer bad plumbing because Nick is poor, was at least a story-line of substance. Though, a show like COMMUNITY or SOUTH PARK would have taken it further and made it about economic inequality and how Schmidt's initial disregard for Nick's significance as it relates to what he can financially bring to the table, versus Nick feeling insulted by Schmidt's need to pay the problem away, was a cause-and-effect of a lack of sympathy and empathy. But this show doesn't seem to want to become about more than the moment, and so we got some funny scenes between the two roommates as they try to one-up the other in a demonstration of their importance, but not much more.

Nick, who has taken it upon himself to "fix" anything in the apartment, instead of paying for someone to do it, starts un-fixing things. Schmidt, who seems to have paid for the majority of furniture and appliances in the apartment, evicts Nick and his things from them. This includes all of Nick's food content in the freezer which Schmidt gently, like a ninja, leaves in Nick's bed as he sleeps. That's some heavy sleeping or major assassin skills.

And that's really the extend of the episode. Lots of bells. Lots of yelling. In the end Winston accepts that he is too competitive, while Nick and Schmidt make up like guys tend to do, with one dude asking the other if he wants to go to a bells concert, and then sharing gum while listening to Eye of the Tiger. So typical.

And now for some quotables from the episode:

Schmidt is eating a platter of sushi by himself and offers some to Nick, who refuses.
Nick: Looks like you are soloing on $80 worth of sushi, Schmidt.
Schmidt: 'Cause I got the means, player.

Winston's temp job is so boring that he is on the verge of cracking.
Wintson: I'm losing my mind, guys. You know I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.

When Jess brings over a bunch of kids with bells the boys are not happy.
Schmidt: Is this something that a mean creative judge made you do?
Nick: Yeah, this is just like a nightmare I had where you brought over teenagers with bells!

When the boys object to Jess bringing the kids over, she reacts aggressively.
Jess: And I'm not really asking permission, I'm giving you a heads-up. (uncomfortable silence) Well, that got serious!

When one of the kids uses the toilet and it floods, Nick has to manipulate his creative fix-it.
Nick: There we go. No problem.
Schmidt: Perfect. You did it. The plastic soda bottle is right where it's supposed to be. Back in the wall-hole!

When Winston shows a crazy impressive natural ability to play bells, Jess asks him to work with her and the kids.
Wintson: I don't know, I think I could be into this.
Jess: Yay!
Nick: And with that statement, he never had sex again.

Schmidt, having asked Nick for a "fancy fix" of the toilet, is impatient as Nick works on the problem.
Schmidt: Nick, look, I don't mean to nag you but how long is this going to take?
Nick: Fancy fix? Fancy amount of time.

Schmidt: If only there was some sort of pipe and water expert that we could hire to come fix this problem.
Nick: Yeah, I can't afford a plumber.
Schmidt: A plumber! That's what it's called!

When Schmidt hires a plumber, Nick is not happy. The two argue about throwing money at a problem.
Schmidt: Is this 'my favorite bedspread' all over again?
Nick: That was a handmade gift my nanny gave me that you spilled a pitcher of Midori Sours on and now you bring it up like it's nothing?!
Schmidt: I left you a check for $30 on your pillow. Your nanny gave you that thing for free. So as far as I'm concerned, you're up thirty bucks.
Nick: My nanny is dead! I'm not looking to make money off of her!
Schmidt: I will not apologize again for the Midori Sour!
Nick: Who drinks Midori Sour?!

Schmidt: It's an American classic with Asian influences!

When Schmidt tries to shoot baskets inside the apartment, the backboard falls off nearly hitting him.
Nick: Yeah, I unfixed that.
Schmidt: Yeah, well how you gonna unfix a dead Schmidt?!

When an un-fixed cabinet door falls off as Jess tries to open it, she expresses her frustration.
Jess: This has to stop! It's not my war!

Schmidt suspects Nick has been using his hair product.
Nick: Okay, Schmidt, I didn't use your conditioner.
Schmidt: Why's your hair look so baby soft?!

After the two argue, Schmidt angrily calls Nick a loser but immediately feels bad about it.
Schmidt: Just these are the things that come out, man, when you take another man's conditioner.

Nick and Winston talk seriously about friends.
Nick: You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They've got too much on ya.
Winston: Yup.
Nick: I want friends who still lie to me because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.

If I had to rate this one I'd give it:

78 out of 100

It wasn't anything special but I did enjoy the bro-fighting and the somewhat memorable bits of dialogue.

I can't believe I put this much time into an episode I didn't love (the quotable stuff mostly).



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28 November, 2011

Review: Korn - The Path of Totality

The 10th album in this nu metal band's storied career has escaped and I'm here to squeeze the life out of it.

I admit, Korn isn't a band that is ever on my radar and I didn't even bother following the release date information about this album, so it kind of caught me by surprise when it landed on my doorstep, or something. I quickly popped this thing into my massive sound system and let it rip. And boy was I fuckin' surprised.

This ditty is experimental to say the least. It is a mixture of the Korn sound (which is clear as day, as you are never confused as to what band made this shit) and a bunch of electronic house shit I would never fuckin' listen to otherwise. But is it a massive shitfest like Lou Reed and Metallica's abortionaholic Lulu? Fuck no. It is actually, quite surprisingly, damn good.

Let's rate the tracks (mixer, producer, or whatever you want to call it in parentheses):

1. "Chaos Lives in Everything" (Skrillex) - A nice little intro into this new sound. Kicks off like I'm getting assaulted or raped at some techno rave. Then the vocals kick in and I'm not totally on board but it doesn't take long for the totality (see what I did?) of sound to wash over me and I'm cool with what I'm hearing. Good beat, melody, and overall atmosphere. 85 out of 100

2. "Kill Mercy Within" (Noisia) - The opening reminds me a bit of Mastodon. There is a nice bit of subtlety that leads into a cool NIN type thing. It's not an awesome track, nor do I feel violated in any way. I'm liking it enough that I don't feel like going immediately to the next track. Great thing is that it's short and doesn't overstay its welcome. 80 out of 100

3. "My Wall" (Excision) - No subtlety. Nice beat. Nothing special. The melody isn't all that memorable. But like the previous track, it is short and even if I'm not digging it too much, I'm not subjected to five minutes or more of it (fuck you, Lulu). 76 out of 100

4. "Narcissistic Cannibal" (Skrillex, Kill the Noise) - Holy fuck this is awesome. Orgasmic. It could win in a knife fight with the best Korn has ever offered. Superb beat, melody, vocals, and overall construction. Reminds me of those good old days, chillin' out in New Jersey metal clubs that played all kinds of shit, like God Lives Underwater to Orgy. In fact, those are the two bands that come to mind as I listen to this track over and over. Fuckin' love the motherfuck out of this track. 98 out of 100

5. "Illuminati" (Excision, Downlink) - Bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve! No? Okay, so it is a bit more original than that. But it's a tad inspired. Still, that was a great song and this is the bastard child of its ethereal inspiration. I dig the beat but I actually really like the later shift to a quieter head-space. Would have liked a bit more of that as it would have set the track apart even more. 83 out of 100

6. "Burn the Obedient" (Noisia) - The song asks me if I am scared, and I am... but not of a piece of music. That's fuckin ridiculous. But maybe I should be because I'm not totally in love with this one. It's not bad but without the proper amount of alcohol, drugs, or brain damage, I don't think I will be listening to it ever again. 70 out of 100

7. "Sanctuary" (Downlink) - The opening is trying the patience of my ears to be buzzzzzzzed like a mad fuckin' beehive. There is an okay melody hidden tightly away in some sections of this one but my sensitive ears are on fire from the buzzzzzzzz and only exasperating my tinnitus. Still, it is somewhat saved by listenable sections and so I survive. 75 out of 100

8. "Let's Go" (Noisia) - It's a happy little number. Upbeat like an anxious 20-year old club chick demonstrating her willingness to please any man who will drown out the daddy-issue noises in her brainz. And just like her, I am over and done with it quickly and nearly forgotten, but still holding onto the memory that something kind of fun just happened. 78 out of 100

9. "Get Up!" (Skrillex) - Woohoo! I am in the new TRON movie! Well, that's how I felt when it started. Anyway, this is a bit all over the place but I am digging it. Beats, vocal melodies, hardcore stuff, and a cool groove thang. There is kind of a riffing on the techno stuff past the midpoint that is cool but also has some jarring male vocal line that sounds like someone having a finger pushed too far up their asshole. I have to take off 5 points just for that. What the fuck? 80 out of 100

10. "Way Too Far" (12th Planet) - Apparently someone fell and broke a leg. I like the heavier shit in this track, followed by the big melodies. It's an interesting mix of genres, from hardcore barking to the chorus, if we want to call it that, being a bit poppy. I'd say this is one of the more daring and standout tracks. Maybe not my favorite but I respect it for trying some cool shit. 90 out of 100

11. "Bleeding Out" (Feed Me) - Opens pretty and then kicks some fuckin' ass about a minute in, then shifts to hauntingly melodic. I could see this working either with all this tech behind it or purely as part of a normal Korn set. It has a classic feel to it while sounding current. It even brings back the bagpipes for good measure. It's all kinds of cool. 95 out of 100

12. "Fuels the Comedy" (Kill the Noise) - One of the two bonus tracks that you may or may not have on your purchase. Rap metal is sometimes cool and sometimes not. This is one of those not times. But right around the two minute mark the track goes in a cool direction and I would like to hear that song more than this one. 70 out of 100

13. "Tension" (Excision, Datsik, Downlink) - I go in and out of love throughout its nearly four minutes. It plods a long spookily and parts of the vocal phrasing toward the end's a lot of fun. It's one of those things you probably either love or hate and I'm going to go with love. 87 out of 100

Overall
83 out of 100

It is actually an 82 if we include the bonus tracks but I am going to bump it up to the 83 anyway. That would make it a B-grade album. Has some excellent stuff on it but also some so-so to borderline not-so-good material. However, nothing on the album stands out as awful (fuck you, Lulu). It's not the band's best work but it is a quality release nonetheless and a big surprise when you consider the change in musical direction. As experimental metal band albums go, this one is a winner.

Fuck you very much, again, Loutallica.



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24 November, 2011

Netflix vs Blockbuster vs Gamefly: What monthly subscription is the best deal?


Some months ago Netflix, the industry powerhouse in the delivery of home video content, pissed off millions of its customers by increasing costs of certain options by as much as 60%. This resulted in not just negative reactions via social media but actual losses for the company of nearly a million subscribers. This is no small bit as the negative reaction to the fee structure has resulted in huge shifts in market value for the company, once over $16 billion, now hovering around $5 billion even as earnings have increased.

This sudden shift left a massive opening for the failing Blockbuster Video just as the company was closing stores across the country. Could they offer a competing monthly subscription package? Could they possibly afford not to? Surprisingly, even though they have come out with what is an attempt to grab some of those Netflix customers, the plan isn't a Netflix killer.

To gamers, Gamefly has been the home delivery video game rental giant, and hasn't had any big competition in that realm until recently, with Blockbuster adding games to its own options.

But which one offers the best deal? Let's check it out. Note that I am going to round off the price points to give people the realistic cost and not the psychological-illusion-of-paying-less-cost:

NETFLIX
Video Rentals
  • $5 a month for limited streaming of 2-hours per month, and a limit of 2-discs per month.

  • $8 a month for unlimited streaming, no discs.

  • $8 a month for 1-disc at a time, with no streaming.
  • $12 a month for 2-discs at a time, with no streaming.

  • $16 a month for 1-disc at a time, with unlimited streaming.
  • $20 a month for 2-discs at a time, with unlimited streaming.
  • $24 a month for 3-discs at a time, with unlimited streaming.
  • $30 a month for 4-discs at a time, with unlimited streaming.

Game Rentals
Though Netflix announced it would offer video games rentals, the recent decision to not split the subscription services between Netflix and Qwikster has caused the company to reevaluate that option.

Overview
Netflix offers a wide variety of home video options that are unequaled, especially when you look at the video streaming option. Even at the increased price, the 1-disc plus unlimited streaming option is better than anything else the industry offers. And if you don't care about receiving physical discs, the unlimited streaming option is a bargain when compared to virtually every legal on-demand option available anywhere. The lack of a video game rental option does hurt it but the company is still considering it (will update this article if they change their mind).

It should be noted that Netflix adds an extra cost to those who want to receive Blu-Ray discs, when available.

BLOCKBUSTER
Video and Game Rentals
  • $10 a month for 1-disc at a time, no streaming, but with in-store exchanges available.
  • $15 a month for 2-discs at a time, no streaming, but with in-store exchanges available.
  • $20 a month for 3-discs at a time, no streaming, but with in-store exchanges available.

Overview
Blockbuster does provide a streaming option but it is pure on-demand, where you pay per rental. I am not including that as part of this analysis since it isn't a monthly fee. Therefor, Blockbuster's current service only provides physical discs. For anyone leaving Netflix having utilized its streaming option and looking to Blockbuster, this is a no-brainer. Don't do it. However, if you want to have the option to rent games, then this is a viable option. Also, the ability to exchange those discs at a local store (if there is one still near you) gives consumers the most amount of options for receiving and returning discs, as well as the quickest possible service.

If you consider that the mail delivery service can take several days, having a Blockbuster subscription means you could easily watch many more movies, or play many more games, per month for the lowest cost option than even the highest cost option for its competitors provided there is a store nearby.

Unfortunately, the lack of an unlimited video streaming option makes this a much less attractive option to non-gamers than Netflix. However, if you have a nearby Blockbuster store and you like to watch a new disc every day, then this may be the way to go.

Let me also note that unlike Netflix, Blockbuster does not charge extra for renting Blu-Ray discs.

GAMEFLY
Game Rentals
  • $16 a month for 1-disc at a time.
  • $23 a month for 2-discs at a time.

Overview
Gamefly has the highest cost per option but also the most available games. You are more likely to receive the game you want from Gamefly than from Blockbuster. However, you are paying $6 more a month for the 1-disc option, and $8 a month for the 2-disc option for that availability. If $72 or $96 a year increase is worth that to you, then Gamefly is your best option.

Conclusion
For pure video rental options, Netflix is still your best bet, especially if you are a big video streamer. However, for video disc and game rentals, Blockbuster is the only option. And finally, for pure video game rentals, Gamefly is still king.

However, I highly recommend trying out Blockbuster to see if their lower cost and greater amount of rental options serve your needs better.

Each service has a FREE trial period, with Gamefly also offering the first month at a reduced cost. Though, beware that when you order the service, they put the first-month price up front and toss the actual price in parentheses. This is done to entice people to the service with the appearance of the lower price-point. Sure, they include the actual price immediately following but this is yet another psychological-trick of marketing, implanting the initial price into the mind of a potential customer.

Out of the three, Gamefly is the only one utilizing this price-point marketing scheme and that may give a more discriminating consumer pause. Though, most gamers are likely too high on Mountain Dew and full of pizza to think much about it.



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