17 January, 2012

ALCATRAZ - Why I'll Keep Watching


FOX premiered this brand new show by putting out two full episodes on Monday night. Since CHUCK was pulled from Mondays, there has been little to look forward to on that night. Sure, I still check in with HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, and I DVR CASTLE and the History Channel shows, but none of it is appointment television.

In fact, other than CHUCK, I haven't had anything around I would consider "appointment television" since LOST and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA ended.

Well, now there is ALCATRAZ and it may end up as my new obsession even though the first two episodes aren't perfect.

I am not going to write a point by point review, just give my reasons for continuing to watch.

1. Jorge Garcia is in it. I love him. I will watch anything he is in.

2. The blond chick who plays the cop is cute. I don't need much more than that. IMDB says her name is Sarah Jones. It also says her character's name is Rebecca Madsen. I didn't really notice her name. I was lost in her purty blue eyes. She's also the kind of cute that I think I could get. Not in a wildly delusional way either. I could totally get that girl to date me... I mean, if I was better looking, in better shape, and had a lot more money.

3. It's got that music they used on LOST in it. It's like when a girl you just met is wearing the same perfume as another girl you were crazy about at some point used to (like pancake or beer scent) but she either broke up with you or she moved away. All I need is the sound or smell of something I loved and I'm hooked.

4. It's like a mystery! Oooh! What's happening? Why are these dudes coming back? What do the numbers mean and what's the smoke monster?!

Story wise, I'm not really sure how good it is compared to something like LOST. I didn't start with LOST from episode 1 of season 1 and I can't even imagine what it was like to experience that show from that first night. It is possible some people were hooked immediately while others took some time to get into it. Granted, these first two episodes don't feel like they are in any way, shape, or form on the same level as the first two of LOST. But they don't need to be and the show can certainly grow into some epic monster down the line.

Well, those are the positives. Here are some negatives.

1. Sam Neill is in it. More specifically, his horrendous marble-mouthed American accent. It is in the top 10 of the worst American accents currently being utilized on television. When an American says the number 19 he says nine-teen. Both words are sounded out in full. Even when using the heaviest souther drawl, you will still hear the T sound. But when Neill says it, it sounds like there is a D there. Why? No clue. No one says it like he says it. "Ny-deen". What the fuck language is that?

2. A cop is shot in the chest and blood spurts out of him as if a) he's not wearing the bullet proof vest all cops are required to wear and b) as if blood spurts out of people like that when they are shot. But then the second point is more of an issue with Hollywood in general. When someone is shot, the bullet pushes material IN not OUT. Just make it puffs of smoke. Stop being stupid!

3. The episode is full of continuity errors. I'd list them all but that would be an article in itself. Most people won't notice them.

4. The plot lines up too conveniently, especially in the first episode.

Otherwise, I'm hooked in even if not blown away. How about you?