30 November, 2011

The GeekFurious TOP 10 Episodes of CHUCK

As this lovely little show comes to an end, one must celebrate its greatness in many ways. This is just one of those ways... by defining the best of the best (so far, since, as of this writing, we are only on episode 4 of season 5)!

So while we have this time, let's punch up the list of the TEN BEST EPISODES OF CHUCK EVER! At least according to the Geek and the Furious:

10. Chuck Versus the Intersect - Season 1, episode 1: The pilot episode comes in at #10 essentially for being one of the best pilot episodes ever made! It does a great job of setting up the characters, the story, and the arcs that will play out for the next few seasons. Plus, Bryce Larkin is a super kung fu monkey in it. He will never be that nimble again.

Chuck: Working on my five-year plan, just need to choose a font.

9. Chuck Versus the Dream Job - Season 2, episode 19: This one could be anywhere on the list, really. It introduces us to Papa B. It has one of Zachary Levi's best performances in anything ever. It also features some of Sarah Lancaster's best work, not to mention Scott Bakula is AWESOME in it! So much to say, and yet I have to move on to the next one.

Chuck: Ellie was really hoping that you might be there to walk her down the aisle.
Papa B: Oh I don't think she would want me there.
Chuck: I, I mean, of course, of course she does. We both do.
Papa B: It's not a good idea. But tell her that I'm happy for her.
Chuck: Are you, are you joking? You have to do this, she's your daughter. Don't you wanna be there?
Papa B: Charles, I can't.
Chuck: I, I don't wanna hear what you can't do! I've seen what you can't do!

8. Chuck Versus the Truth - Season 1, episode 8: Written by fan-favorite Ali Adler. It has drama, comedy, family, romance, and is very memorable to boot. Plus, it was probably the episode that set the Chuck and Sarah will-they-won't-they steamroller into overdrive (though, an episode not on this list, Hard Salami, would mash the nuclear button on that little thingy).

Chuck: What?! You give me crap about lighting some candles and you come in wearing that?
Sarah: What, this? This, this is part of my cover.
Chuck: Well, it doesn't cover a thing.

7. Chuck Versus the Last Details - Season 4, episode 23: Season 4 may be the shipper favorite but it only appears once on this list. However, this is one of the funniest episodes in the series, while also featuring some pretty dramatic stuff. It's also more quotable than most of the season.

Sarah: (addressing Mama B) We're not leaving you here to get tortured, we have a wedding to get you to.
Casey: (opening the cell door) Hey! We gotta move! Let's go!
Mama B: (addressing Sarah) Sweetheart, I know the wedding is important but so is the nation's safety. If I leave now, they will move the weapon and we'll never get it!
Sarah: Mary, don't be stubborn, we're just here to extract you not finish a failed mission!
Mama B: Failed? Stubborn?
Chuck: Okay, okay, okay. Look, here's the plan. I'm gonna go with Casey to get the Norseman. Sarah, you're going to stay with mom, make sure she doesn't get tortured. Everybody good?
Mama B: I don't need backup.
Sarah: Why can't Casey stay with your mom?
Casey: Hell no! I'm going with Chuck!

6. Chuck Versus the Beard - Season 3, episode 9: Most of it happens inside the Buy More. Most of it is about Morgan finding out about the spy world. It is also the first episode directed by Zachary Levi. And it is... awesome! Morgan's reaction to finding out his buddy has been a spy all this time made my geek heart melt.

Chuck: Morgan, the truth is.. the truth is, I am a member of a joint NSA/CIA black-ops team that is stationed here in Burbank. I have a level six clearance and my code-name is Charles Carmichael. I'm a spy buddy.

Casey: What the hell's going on in here?
Big Mike: The store's being bought. They're canning everybody except Bartowski and Grimes.
Jeff: We're staging a revolution, to take down the man!
Casey: I want in!
Lester: How do we know that we can trust you, son? That you're not some kind of spy for the man?
Casey: Because the only thing I hate more than hippy neo-liberal fascists and anarchists, are the hypocrite fatcat suits they eventually grow up to become.
Lester: Yep, that works for me.

5. Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon - Season 2, episode 16: Not only does this one feature the best challenge to the Chuck and Sarah will-they-won't-they romance, but it also pushed Chuck into standing up for himself and his love. In the end, as Cole Barker loses to Bartowski, and Chuck then defines his intentions to the woman he loves, we end on the knowledge that our hero has had his own agenda the whole time. Essentially, from the second Block Party's "Signs" kicks in, until the end of the episode, is the best five minutes the show has ever done. Riveting stuff.

Chuck: Sarah, I'm not gonna move in with you. Because I can't. And you know why I can't. I'm crazy about you and, and I've always been. But you know having a fake relationship, that's one thing. But living together is.. I mean every day being around each other, and, and.. and that's why I can't do it. And I hope you understand.
Sarah: I do.
Chuck: Thank you. Oh and just so you know, I am gonna get this thing out of my head, one day. I will. And when I do, I'm gonna live the life that I want, with the girl that I love. Because I'm not gonna let this thing rob me of that, I won't.

4. Chuck Versus the Tic Tac - Season 3, episode 10: Casey goes bad? Chuck and Sarah go to save him. And we discover lots about the colonel we didn't know. Features some of the best scenes and sequences in the series. One could even argue this is the best Chuck and Sarah on a mission episode of the series.

General Beckman: We think this might have been an inside job. Only a handful of our people knew the Laudonal was being kept in box 092407.
Chuck: (laughing) Oh yes. I get it now. You're good. You are good, General. You guys, you are good. Very good. This is a test, right?
Casey: Bartowski.
Chuck: First it was the solo mission on the plane. Then turning an assett. Now this time it's (dramatically) 'Chuck will you betray your country or will you turn in your friend and partner, John Casey, for stealing the pill?' I'll play ball. Okay. (pointing at Casey) Guilty. He did it.
General Beckman: (very serious) Are you positive you saw Colonel Casey take the pill, Mr. Bartowski?
Chuck: (happily) Yeah! (realizing something is up) No? No, no I would, I would, I would actually not use the word positive. It was very poorly lit in that, ummm. I'm, I'm wrong half the time, so.
General Beckman: Colonel Casey, would you care to respond?
Casey says nothing. Sarah reaches for her gun.
Chuck: Whoa, whoa, woah, woah, woah. Hang on a second. Let's just all take a breath here, okay? John Casey is one of the most loyal spies out there. He would never do anything to jeopardize the CIA. Casey, tell 'em!
Casey: With all due respect, General. I will excercise my right to remain silent under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution.
Chuck: What're you doing?
General Beckman: Agent Walker, please relieve the Colonel of his weapon.
Sarah: (pointing her weapon at Casey, looking determined but confused) John, you wanna tell me what's going on?

3. Chuck Versus the Break-Up - Season 2, episode 3: If season 1 had the Chuck and Sarah steamroller and the nuclear button, this was the episode that blew up the brains of shippers everywhere. It also brought back Bryce Larkin who was either Chuck's best friend or worst enemy. It's still up for debate. Lots of crazy fun stuff happens and it all culminates with a classic speech from Chuck to a Sarah who is getting too close to her asset.

Chuck: Look, we both know how I feel about you so I'm just gonna shoot straight. Sarah, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're beautiful, you're smart, you laugh at all of my stupid jokes and you have this horrible habit of constantly saving my life. The truth is, you're everything that I thought I ever wanted and more. And for the last few days all I can think about is our future together. About what, what it's going to be like once I finally get the Intersect out of my head. How we'll finally be together for real. No fake relationships, no covers, no lies. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that you and I can never have a future together. I fooled myself into thinking that we could but the truth is we can't. Because even if we had a real relationship it would never really be real. I'd still never know anything about you. Your real name, your home town, your first love, anything. And I want more than that. I wanna be able to call you at the end of a bad day and tell you about some funny thing that Morgan did and not find out that I can't because you're off somewhere in Paraguay quelling a revolution with a fork. I'm a normal guy who wants a normal life. And as amazing as you are, Sarah Walker, we both know that you will never be normal.
Sarah: You know, some day, when the Intersect is out of your head and you have the life that you always wanted, you'll forget all about me.
Chuck: I seriously doubt that.

2. Chuck Versus the Honeymooners - Season 3, episode 14: The episode that wasn't supposed to happen. The show was a lock to be cancelled after 13 but NBC had so many other problems that they ordered more and what followed is easily one of the best. Sarah being cute and funny? Check! Chuck speaking French and Texan? Check! Casey and Morgan having to work together to find the two love birds? Yup. And everything coming together with our two leads having to fight a room full of bad guys handcuffed together? You know it! And if that wasn't enough, how about we end it on the most perfect note? Done. Sure, this may not be as well written as some of the episodes, and the spy story isn't all that interesting, but it is one of those episodes that ranks high for being so emotionally satisfying from beginning to end. A blast to watch over and over and over.

Chuck and Sarah have both been secretly spying after telling each other they wouldn't.
Sarah: You know, Chuck, I can't fake this. Not with you.
Chuck: (jumping up in bed) What?! You've been faking it the whole time?!
Sarah: No, no, no, not that. I spotted a Basque terrorist on board, Juan...
Chuck: (finishing her sentence) Diego Arnaldo, I know, I flashed on him. He has a whole list of names in his room.
Sarah: Yeah. All of his contacts from the Euskadi Ta Askatasuna!
Chuck: Oh my god. You even make terrorist groups sound sexy.
Sarah: So you were the one I was hiding from.
Chuck: You were the one in the bathroom? You know, Juan Diego Arnaldo is a terrorist, after all, it would be irresponsible..
Sarah: (finishing his sentence) Even criminal to turn our backs on him.
Chuck: One last mission before we quit?
Sarah: One last mission.

1. Chuck Versus the Colonel - Season 2, episode 21: If nirvana was ever achieved on CHUCK its name is Colonel. Chuck and Sarah are on the run and have to shack up in a no-tell-motel and have to share a bed. When they wake up, they are snuggling. Do they stop? Nope. They attack each other like crazed ANIMALS! Oh and Papa B being held by Fulcrum; Casey seemingly working against Chuck and Sarah but really just moody about not being included in their plan; Captain Awesome and John Casey fighting; Awesome discovering the truth about Chuck, then having a terrible time keeping it a secret; Chuck's first de-Intersecting; the near annihilation of Fulcrum, and so on and so on and so on. This is the best episode ever made!

Chuck: (speaking very quickly) Devon, I am a high level CIA asset and these are my handlers. For the past two-years they've had to watch and protect my every move.
Sarah: Chuck! No!
Chuck: He can handle it! You can handle this right? Tell me you can handle this.
Awesome: You're being serious? He's being serious?!
Chuck: Devon, I need you to help me. I need you to be cool about this. I need you to cover for me with Ellie. I need you to be awesome. Can you be awesome?
Awesome: You're a spy, Chuck?
Chuck: Yeah, more or less, yeah.
Awesome: (taking it all in) Woah. Wow! This is.. awesome! Yeah! (they high-five) I knew you weren't a loser who worked at the Buy More!
Chuck: Loser's a little, that's a little harsh. Okay, here, here's the thing, the Buy More actually is real. But here's the most important thing and I need you to do this for me right now. I need you to go home and handle Ellie. That is your mission. Can you do that?
Awesome: I got your back, bro. (salutes)
Chuck: Right. Right. (salutes back)
Awesome: Spy!
Chuck: Keep that on the DL.

Honorable Mentions: Wookiee, Salami, Seduction, Cougars, DeLorean, Santa Claus, Suburbs, Operation Awesome, Living Dead, Subway, Phase Three, Seduction Impossible, and Frosted Tips.

So what do you think are the top 10 episodes of the series. Obviously this list isn't the end-all, be-all, final word on the matter. Surely some crazy shipper list would include nothing but terrible episodes where Chuck and Sarah kissed or held hands while the writing, acting, and story sucked hardcore. Also, once season 5 ends, this list may change. But it is what it is, for now.

Anonymous commenting, as always, is available if you can't be bothered to identify yourself.