02 July, 2014

The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.02: 'False Skorpion'


Uhh holy shit, that just got a LOT more real, a lot more quickly, than I was expecting.  I just finished googling Myocarditis, as I'm sure a lot of you did while watching this ep.  Medical accuracy has never been a strong suit of the Covert writers, especially when it come to Annie, whose recovery from two bullet wounds to the chest in season 3 was approximately as difficult as bouncing back from a sprained ankle.  So I'm already apprehensive on this front.  Partly for that reason but partly just because I'm dying to know where this condition came from.

Let's talk about the rest of this ep first, and then we'll get back to that.  First off, why am I not seeing a writer listed in the credits??  That is very odd, is it not?  I forgot to check when I first watched the ep, so I went back and rewound just now and I can't find it for the life of me.  The reason I'm so curious is that the dialogue in this ep was approximately 8 THOUSAND times better than last week.  As was the ep itself, actually.  I've watched it once through at the time of typing this sentence, but I think I kind of loved this episode overall.  It felt a lot like a ... maybe a Stephen Hootstein or Zak Schwartz ep?  But alas, it is a mystery to me.  EDIT:  HA! I think I just figured this out.  Stephen Hootstein is listed as an Exec Producer twice in the opening credits.  Is the second one just a typo that should have said "written by"?  If so, funny.

Everyone on Twitter seemed to be bracing themselves to hate this episode, as it was known to anyone who pays attention to mild spoilers that Hayley and Auggie were going to jump right into the sack about 5 minutes after being introduced.  That situation aside, I was expecting nothing earth-shattering, considering that it's only ep 2 of the season.  And while the Hayley sex was certainly not my favorite part of this ep, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this was actually one of the strongest eps I've seen of this show in quite a while.

Reason number one for my declaration: Ryan McQuaid - another character everyone freaked out about over the break when casting news came down the line.  If you've read any of my season 4 reviews from ep 4.07 onwards, you know my very strong opinion of how badly the Covert writers effed up the Annie/Auggie relationship.  They screwed that pooch sideways and then they screwed it a few more times from a few other angles.  But what's done is done, and there's no going back now.  And the Annie and McQuaid dynamic has been pretty goddamn delightful so far.  I laughed, I gasped at several key moments, and I was thoroughly glued to my screen waiting to see what would happen next.

Do I care that much about Borz himself, or whether he's captured and whether we can bring to justice the terrorists behind CIA facility bombing?  Nah, not really.  But I rarely do with these shows; what I care about is what the main characters are going through as they work through it, and more importantly, what they're going through on their longer journeys of the series itself.  And Covert has me very interested right now on that front with Annie as well as several of the main characters.

Which brings me to Auggie, before I get back to the Annie thing.  Fact: I was a huge Felicity fan.  I didn't watch it in its original run, but I watched the whole series a couple years later in reruns on the We channel or some shiz.  I don't know that Julie was ever anyone's favorite character on the show (though I don't blame her for not giving her kidney to her absent father).  So I was kind of bracing myself for Julie part 2 here, since I haven't seen Amy Jo Johnson's work since ... and I'll say this: It was not as bad as I expected.  I mean I gotta hand it to her, at least she shut Auggie down for once in his life after he pulled his typical smart ass act on her in that interview.  She might want to go back and have a chat with his therapist from season 3, who failed miserably on that front.  And clearly that was why he hopped into bed with her ... because she impressed him and Auggie knows no other way.  He uses his peen almost as an extension of shaking hands to greet someone.  He meets and greets and then he needs to feel out the person's pasta box as the very next step.  It's not a characteristic I find particularly charming about him, but it is certainly well-precedented on this show.

And he's certainly getting NO love from Annie these days.  Homegirl was cold as ice to him on that 5am phone call (why the eff is Auggie in the office at 5:15am and why is it already so light outside??)  She's pushing people away with claws out at the moment due to her exploding heart, so I totally get it, but I was still a little like, "Uhh daayumn girl."  I'm kind of completely fine with this right now though, and I'll tell you why: I was SO angry and exasperated with Auggie in the last few eps of season 4 in the wake of the Unholy Helesa Bang that I'm just thrilled to have a reason to feel sympathy for him again, watching mean ol' Annie shut him down at every turn.  The writers are playing this very well though, because they allowed us right back into Annie's motivations and frame of mind towards the end of the ep on that last call with Auggie.  I rarely say "Aaww" out loud at my TV, but I did when she welled up with tears at the end of that phone call.  Poor thang.  I could empathize with exactly what would have been running through her head at that moment.

Are you kinda pissed at her for busting right out with her big secret to McQuaid in ep TWO of the season though, BEFORE telling Auggie!?  I was SHOCKED about that.  I didn't think it was gonna come out that early, and I absolutely did NOT expect it to be McQuaid who she'd let the cat out of the bag to.  She can't trust this guy as far as she can throw him at the moment, but yet she's telling him her deepest darkest secrets?  Is this another "Sarah Walker tells Shaw her real first name before telling Chuck" moment??  In a sense it is, but to be fair, Annie was put in an extremely compromising position at that point.  Her choices were limited at best.  And my my, McQuaid's reaction certainly sets Annie on a path to be wooed by him this season (professionally, at the very least).

And speaking of Annie's extremely speedy recovery from her gunshot wounds in season 3, what the hell is the cause of her heart problem?  Is it related to that injury?  Is it related to the crazy drugs Eyal gave her to "kill" her in ep 4.10?  Is it both?  Is it some random-ass virus she picked up in stupid Sri Lanka with Ben??  I pray to the TV gods that the explanation makes at least some level of medical sense, but I also really, really pray that it's related to at least something important that we've seen on the show previously.  Because Annie and the concept of consequences are two things that have been ... well they've been a lot MORE acquainted with one another since she went dark, which I'm happy about.  But there have been stretches of this series that have had me screaming at my TV screen for how huge crazy shit just bounces right off of her like it's nothing.  Good ol' Teflon Annie.  To see her finally have to face a real consequence from one of those time periods would be great.  We'll see though, the cause of the issue could really be anything at this point.

O.k. here's my other random thoughts before I summarize and grade this beezy:

  • Arthur lied to Joan.  What a jerk.
  • Annie's "Peace and mercy be upon you" as she put a gun in her purse had me LOLing.
  • Ari's wife as McQuaid's "right hand man" ... I expect that Perrey Reeves will be good in this role.  I always enjoyed her on Entourage.
  • Annie's explanation to the cop about the boob job and the amazing boyfriend who would MAYBE come down for her recovery IF he could get off work haaaahahaha ... loved it.
  • Calder and Joan have been kind of simmering back and forth in the background of these two eps ... I'm sure that rivalry will turn into something more eventuallly.
  • I enjoyed Auggie defending Annie to Hayley ... you know, before he boned her.
  • I think Cartagena was subbed for Venezuela in this ep.
  • I love that as soon as Ryan shot Borz, Borz ran out into a very conveniently timed parade with weird freaky Minnie Mouses ... Minnie Mice?
  • Annie: "My superiors trust the decisions I make in the field."  Only to have Calder rip her a new one later hahaha.
  • Annie ultimately found Borz with her classic people/influencing  skills ... persuading the Imam's daughter to lead her to him.
So yeah dudes, I dunno, this episode was good for me.  It flowed a LOT better than last week.  Logic-wise - at least right now to my fuzzy late-night brain - it seemed reasonably solid, and the dialogue was snappy as a mo fo.  You know what I'm a little scared about though?  That's exactly what happened in season 4, too.  I thought the S4 premiere was pretty o.k., and then I LOVED ep 2 ... and then the rest of the season never quite measured up to that second ep.  They kinda blew their lo... err, they peaked really early on and then spent the rest of the season never quite getting back there again.  Is season 5 gonna break that pattern?  Dear god, I hope so.

GRADE: 92/100

My reviews are never short, but this one is a hell of a lot shorter than last week (pats self on back).  I haven't checked Twitter at all so I'm curious if I'll be all alone on my island of mostly loving this ep.  Tell me.

Check out last week's "The Plopper Reviews COVERT AFFAIRS 5.01: 'Shady Lane'"